Calm Like Home (7 page)

“I'm serious!” I say with a lilt in my voice. “Bears just have a bad rep.”

“They’re man-eating beasts.” He’s trying to keep a straight face as he says the words, but a smile creeps through, detracting from his conviction.

“Nah, I don't buy it. They just love to cuddle and don't know their own strength.” I angle my body towards his and smile over at him as he ponders this a moment.

“Alexa, I’m inclined to believe you because you can be highly convincing.” He chuckles as he says the words. “Except I know for a fact there’s a documentary about a guy who shared your beliefs. He goes to live with some bears to show how nice they are and you know what happens to him? The bears eat him. They freaking eat him!”

“Have you seen it?”

He shakes his head.

“Well there's probably more to the story then, like he was poking them with sticks or stealing their salmon or something.”

He laughs at my rationale. “Okay, we’re watching this thing. I'm getting a copy and bringing it to your apartment and we’re watching it. You and me.”

“So you're telling me you want to see a guy get eaten by bears? That’s so gruesome, Adam. I didn’t know you had this side to you.”

“Hell no. I want
you
to see a guy get eaten by bears.”

“Fine. I’ll watch it, only because I think there’s more to the story than you’re telling me.”

“I’m not one to embellish stories,” he chuckles, glancing over at me from the driver’s side.

“Never! Tell me again how you got that light spot on the back of your head.”

His lips curl into an ornery grin. “I told you. I got struck by lightning.”

“Uh-huh, right… The lucky strike.”

He caves, his expression relaxing into a sheepish grin. “You’ve got me. It’s a birthmark. But I’m telling the truth about the bears. You’ll see.”

“It’s not my usual movie choice, but for you I will.”

“Awww, for me?” His eyes flick over to mine before returning to the road in front of us. “So if watching people get eaten by bears isn’t your type of movie, what is?”

I lean towards him, resting my elbows on the console between us and propping my head on my hands. I swear I could look at him forever. I could
talk
to him forever.

“I don’t know if I have a type, just not that.”

“Well if you had to pick a favorite what would it be?”

I don’t miss a beat. “Good Will Hunting.”

“Good Will Hunting?” He bursts out laughing. “You can’t be serious.”

“Oh I assure you I am. It’s got it all. Math: check. Love: check. Quotable lines: double check. I know every word of that movie.”

He reaches a hand over and presses his palm to mine, catching me completely off guard.

“How do you like them apples?” he says resolutely. To my disappointment he pulls his hand back after he delivers the line, replacing it on the wheel. My palm throbs with yearning, my fingertips craving his touch. “That’s all I know,” he adds.

“It’s a start! So what about you? What’s your favorite, Mr. Movie Critic?”

“LOTR,” he says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“LOTR? You really are a nerd!” I’m genuinely surprised this self-assured party boy would own up to liking Lord of the Rings. I figured it would be Animal House or The Hangover or something.

“Loud and proud.” He taps his palm against the center of his steering wheel, the horn blaring out.

He glances over to find me eyeing him intently. “They’re really good movies, Lex.” He’s grinning like a schoolboy now.

We’re nearing the entrance to my apartment and he hasn’t started decelerating so I jokingly point it out, saying, “Uh, you’ll want to turn here.”

He smirks at me over the console. “Thanks, Magellan.”

I grin back at him. “Well I’d hate for you to miss it. We might end up driving for hours in the other direction before we turn back around, you know, with how distracting I can be.”

“I do run that risk whenever you’re around.” Smiling eyes briefly flick to mine before he makes the turn. The way he says it makes me believe that maybe he’s not kidding.

This time when he parks the car, he moves to open the driver’s side door. “Mind if I use your bathroom?”

Instantly I’m wondering what this means, but I try to maintain my composure as we start up the steps together. As soon as my door creeps open, Adam takes notice of the forty-gallon fish tank occupying the corner of my living room. He takes long strides towards it, kneeling on the plush, white carpet and sitting back on his heels to gaze up at it.

“My parents gave it to me when I moved out,” I murmur, kneeling down beside him. “They always had a huge one when I was little that I helped them take care of. It just kind of stuck. I think it’s really peaceful.”

He nods sedately. I watch as he stares into the aquarium, his eyes trailing over the brightly colored fish. He looks almost childlike as he stares up into the water, enthralled. After a minute, a ghost of a smile passes over his face.

“My uncle had one of these back when we were kids. I loved that thing. I’d completely forgotten about it.” He finally turns to me, his eyes bright with the memory, his voice low when he goes on. “You’re right. It’s incredibly calming.”

Adam returns his gaze to the aquarium. Aside from the light emanating from it, the apartment is completely dark. My eyes shift from the fish to his profile. As I watch him staring into the brightly lit tank I notice how long and thick his lashes are. They are gorgeous. He catches me looking and his eyes slowly sweep over my face, a warm smile on his lips.

Something about this moment, the quiet and the darkness and the proximity, just seems to resonate. Time practically stands still. All I can see are his dark brown eyes, deep and luminescent. His body shifts almost imperceptibly towards me, his palms reaching for the side of my face. I feel a hint of his breath, warm against my lips. It caresses my skin, floats over my body, leaving me perfectly content in its wake.

He shifts his weight, the distance between us closing. Then his lips brush mine, the faintest whisper of a touch, the subtlest pressure against my mouth. It’s the softest kiss I’ve ever felt and yet it’s everything. It’s an explosion of the senses; it’s an awakening of my soul.

PART II – The Summer

Chapter 9

I have never in my life been so excited to go to work. All morning long I count the minutes until I can start getting ready, thinking of Adam all the while. To distract myself I dawdle in the shower, meticulously lathering and rinsing and scrubbing. I smooth lotion onto my skin and take my time applying my makeup, carefully lining my eyes and swiping on mascara. When I can no longer stand it I grab my keys and take the long route to the restaurant, turning my music up loud and belting out the lyrics to every song on my
More Than Friends
playlist. I still arrive thirty minutes before my shift is scheduled to start.

Nerves overtake my stomach as I approach the building. We haven’t worked a shift together since we took that first drive. With last night’s kiss still singing through me, I am nervous and gleeful and so excited to see him again. I heave the door open and quickly scan the dining room. His back is to me but I’d know him anywhere. I hang back, watching him. He radiates confidence in the way he talks, in the way he moves. I could gaze at him all day. He’s still talking with his table when he casually glances over his shoulder and his eyes meet mine. I watch the recognition pass over his face, the edges of his mouth turning up, his eyes softening.

He quickly finishes with the table and saunters over to me. He stops mere inches in front of me, positively beaming. I don’t think I’ve ever seen his smile wider or more full of light. I want so badly to feel his lips on mine again, to savor their sultry sweetness, and I lightly lick my own at the thought.

“Hi, Adam,” I say brightly. I know I’m radiating joy, absolutely pulsing with the elation I feel every time I’m near him. The bustle of the restaurant fades to a distant hum, like the whole world has fallen away and it’s just the two of us, completely absorbed in this moment. I cannot stop smiling.

“Lex,” he breathes. He brushes his fingers against my own, setting my whole body off. He must see the longing reflected in my eyes because he bites his bottom lip. “If I didn’t know better I’d think you came in early to see me.”

I narrow my eyes in an attempt at scrutiny, but my continuous grinning detracts from the effect. “And if I didn’t know better I’d think you’ve been checking my schedule.”

He gives a serious nod. “It’s quite convenient having your name so close to mine alphabetically.”

Over Adam’s shoulder, I catch sight of Jim marching down the line, the usual frown stretched across his face. I give Adam’s hand a tight squeeze before heading in the opposite direction to find my section for the night.

It’s a matter of seconds before Annabelle charges up to me at the host stand, her face resolute.

“Okay, something’s going on. You’re both giddy as schoolgirls, walking around with these stupid grins plastered on your faces. What happened?”

I avert my eyes, suddenly fascinated with the floor chart. Naturally the grin is still there. I couldn’t contain this beast of a smile even if I tried.

“This is not the face of someone in the friend zone. Did he kiss you?”

When I don’t respond she lets out a satisfied squeal. “Damn I’m good! How was it? Perfect I’m guessing?” Her voice is dreamy as she says the last part, like she’s never been kissed in that way, the all-encompassing, you’re all I can think/breathe/dream about kind of way.

I lean my head against her shoulder, beaming ear to ear, and sigh contentedly, “He’s so amazing Annabelle. He’s just so damn wonderful.”

I try to go about my shift carrying on as normal, but nothing about me feels normal. I feel changed, like his kiss awakened some deeper desire inside me that’s been aching to get out. My psyche is pushing me to get closer, to be near to him any way possible. I see his smile and I want to smile right along with him, I hear his laugh and I want to laugh right along with him, never mind when his eyes meet mine and he licks his lips and I know I can’t do a single thing about it because we’re at work.

I’m traipsing through his section en route to my own in a roundabout I-don’t-belong-over-here-at-all-but-just-want-to-pass-by-you type of way. He’s talking with one of his tables – a couple out to eat with their young son. My ears perk up, delighting in the sound of his voice, the most pleasant sound I know. I can’t help noticing that when he talks to the little boy his tone is softer, lighter. He doesn’t talk down to him, just has a reverence in his vocalization that isn’t usually there. I wonder how he learned to talk to kids; it’s the last thing I would’ve expected from him. But then again, Adam seems to be full of surprises.

We’re passing on the line a few minutes later when he casually drops a folded piece of paper into the front pocket of my apron. I fish it from the mess of chocolates and loose change filling the pocket. His handwriting covers the scrap in sharp, upright lines.

Freezer. 5 minutes. It will be “O.K.”

I love his secretive approach. I love that he wrote me a note like our rendezvous is some covert operation. I love that he said it would be “O.K.” because it lets me know he thinks it will be anything other than just okay. I love that he feels it too.

When I tug the heavy freezer door open Adam is there, anticipation written all over his face. It’s in the brightness of his eyes. It’s in the eagerness of his smile. His arms encase my torso, his chest rising and falling against mine as he firmly kisses my lips. I grasp his face with both hands and thrust my body closer to his, always closer. He drags his tongue along my lower lip, my stomach clenching, my pulse racing at the touch. When he pulls back he’s grinning ear to ear.

“I couldn’t stare at you all night and not do that at least once.” He winks at me then disappears through the door.

I stand there in awe, feeling like I’m melting to the floor despite the cold air flowing all around me. My whole body is entirely saturated with contentment. Sure, it’s his kiss, but it is so much more. It’s his warmth and his levity and how he brings out the best version of me I know. My heart feels as though it might burst right out of my chest from the sheer adoration I feel for him.

When I’m sure I’ve given him enough of a head start, I step back out into the kitchen, feeling weightless, feeling enthralled. A night at the restaurant has never flown by so fast or been this much fun.

Annabelle invites a few people over to her apartment for drinks after work. She doesn’t say so, but I know she’s doing it so Adam has an alternative to Brittney’s “get together” she so casually invited him to the day at the pool. I’m barely through the door before he’s placing his hands on either side of my face and leaning in to kiss me. It’s soft and slow and everything I’ve wanted since our freezer encounter. A few of our coworkers eye us, but no one looks surprised. When he reaches for my hand and tugs me from the room, I follow contentedly, a tranquil smile stretched across my face.

Once in the seclusion of Annabelle’s kitchen, Adam leans against the counter and pulls me to him by my belt loops, and for the first time in my life I don't question or second-guess if I’m being too forward. My arms just float around his neck. My chest connects with his. It feels so
right
– being this close – like this is where we were always meant to be, his gravity pulling me in.

He tips his forehead to mine and looks into my eyes with a depth I haven’t seen before. The sincerity of his gaze resonates within me, makes me smile. As though it’s contagious, he breaks into a wide grin.

“What’re you smiling at?” I josh.

“It’s just my favorite whenever I’m with you.” He plants a firm kiss on my forehead then asks, “So what do you want to drink?”

“I guess now is probably a good time to admit I’m not really a beer girl.”

“Why am I not surprised?” he asks with a glint in his eyes. He turns to survey the alcohol bottles cluttering the countertop. His fingers rotate each bottle until he finally decides on raspberry Bacardi, mixing it with Sprite and a splash of grenadine.