Campbell (23 page)

“Fine, whatever,” he shouted in her direction as she walked away, noisily scooping up their breakfast dishes and heading back to the food area.

Tal braved the line for the shower and then headed back to the tent, becoming more aware with every passing minute of how little sleep he’d gotten the night before. He crawled in and was happy to find that he was alone and the sun had warmed the tent to a comfortable level After a few minutes, he lay down half asleep, his mind free of all the things that plagued it while he was awake. He thought about how delicious breakfast had been, how nice it was not to have any real responsibilities for the first time in a while, and how great it was to simply be alive, because the odds had not been in his favour, not that week.

“Tonight seems to be the night where everyone thanks the earth for the harvest by taking psychedelic drugs,” Lucy whispered, unzipping up the tent before crawling inside. “It’s mushroom and peyote night.”

She’d showered again too, Tal noted as he blinked the sleep from his eyes. He sat up beside her and gave her a thoughtful smile. “I ran into your friend from last night again when I was in the lineup for the shower. I think she wants to kill me.”

“Why?”

“Because she told me. With her eyes.” He raised his brows. “She’s terrifying.”

“It seemed like a good idea after a bottle of wine,” she mumbled, as she rolled onto her side and tugged a blanket over her. “We all make mistakes.”

“We do,” Tal nodded, his eyes dark as he ran a cross comparison in his mind of the curve of Lucy’s hip against Leah’s. In a more fitted t-shirt, Tal was reminded that his traveling companion had a worship-worthy form. Not that he’d exactly forgotten. There was no one there to call him out on admiring her this time, and if she noticed, she didn’t say anything. He wondered what her reaction would be if he paid her an honest compliment. His father had always sworn they were the way to a woman’s heart, if said in the proper earnest tone.

“You smell better,” was what he decided on. It wasn’t the most flowery thing he could imagine, but he knew it could be interpreted as a tease if she chose to take it that way.

“You look less like a street urchin,” was her counter, as her eyes scanned his face, a half smile spreading across her face, her cheeks flush from the shower.

“I liked the beard. I did,” he said, stretching out on his sleeping bag. “But you know, I looked in the mirror, and I saw my dad.”

“What’s wrong with that?” Lucy asked curiously. “You liked your dad, didn’t you?”

Tal nodded. “My dad was the man. I don’t think I’ve earned my beard yet. He grew his when my oldest brother was a baby and he didn’t have time to shave. He always said he wasn’t a man until then.”

“So what makes you a man?”

“What makes you a woman and not a girl?” he countered. “What are the defining characteristics of adulthood when we’ve all been adults since we were children?”

“I don’t know,” Lucy said thoughtfully. “I’ve wondered about that a lot. It’s certainly not having kids for a lot of men, or women.”

“I like to think you just know. Like a switch.”

“A man switch,” Lucy said, chuckling. “Well, you let me know when you flick it and we’ll discuss.”

“You think you’re a woman?”

“I’m like a mother to thousands of kids. Yeah, I do,” she said firmly. “I think it’s when you start putting others before yourself.”

“But if you do that, you’re not much good to yourself,” Tal replied. “Not if you do it all the time.”

“You sound like Bull,” she sighed, rolling her eyes.
 

Tal was curious about Bull, but had the feeling they wouldn’t get along, based simply on the way Lucy talked about him. “When do the seventies start?”
 

“Drugs will be distributed at eight sharp. They’re serving early dinner at four. You shouldn’t eat before you trip.”

“Do you take those?” Tal had pinned Lucy as straight-laced, but with taking her knowledgeable tone into account he decided that she was probably just smart enough to know her own limitations.

“Sometimes. Not often,” she said, propping herself up on her elbow. “It’s been a while. Peyote makes me a little sick, but I don’t mind mushrooms.”

“Are you going to do them?”

“Are you?” she matched. “I guess it’s all cocaine and heroin in West—”

“I don’t touch that shit,” Tal clipped, instantly offended at her insinuation. “Ever.”

“Fine, fine…I wasn’t accusing you of trafficking or anything—”
 

“That might happen, but I don’t know anything about it,” Tal answered defensively. If that happened, and Connor had anything to do with it, it stayed off the books. Tal had turned a blind eye to things a few times in the early years, but had put his foot down on that. The fucked up kids that hung out around Rodeo Drive made him sick to his stomach, partly because they were sad, but also because he knew a lot of them had come from families just like his—they just hadn’t coped as well with being independent in the early days, and it had cost them everything. “Don’t tie me to that shit.”

“Sorry, sorry,” Lucy said carefully, visibly surprised by his strong response. “I just know what I was told—”
 

“People do fucked up shit in your territory too. Don’t pretend they don’t.”
 

“I know they do. But a hell of a lot of it comes from West,” she replied unapologetically.
 

“It’s hard to manage that.”

“Well, if we decide to align, we’ll have to work on it.” She smiled. “Don’t get all huffy.”

“You didn’t answer my question. You answered it with a question.”

Lucy scrunched her face up thoughtfully. “I’ll have to see what kind of mood I’m in. You have to be in the right mood.”

“What’s the right mood?”

“Carefree. Relaxed. I was there until you were here,” she joked. “I was planning on shutting my eyes for a bit. I haven’t napped in ages.”

“Well don’t let me stop you.” Tal lay down and stretched, amused and surprised when her eyes darted to the thin strip of flesh that appeared when his shirt rode up. “I could nap.”

“So we’ll nap,” Lucy said, curling up. “I’m sure we’ll wake up in time for dinner with that bell they ring. I’m already hungry.”

Tal stretched his arms out, and imagined Lucy crawling into them, both of them entirely lucid and comfortable. He’d kiss her forehead and she’d embrace the little flip flop that her heart would do as a result. And they’d simply be, without all the questions, comments, fears and inevitable insecurities.
 

It was a nice fantasy, he thought to himself as she instead rolled away from him, curling up in a ball of her own.
 

“Lucy?” he mumbled, sometime later, rolling towards her.
 

She opened her eyes and blinked at him. “Yeah?”

“I should call my cousin. She probably thinks I’m dead.”

“What would she do if you were?” Lucy asked curiously.

“I don’t know. That’s why I should call,” he said quietly, guilt about not letting Leah know he was okay hitting him hard. “She…we don’t have anyone else really. Some friends, but….”

“I get it,” Lucy said, her brow creasing with concern. “Will she tell Connor?”

“Probably,” he shrugged. “He’s likely trying to get in her pants with me gone.”

“He likes her?”

Tal snorted, and thought with wistful discomfort about how beautiful his cousin was. “Connor likes anything he can’t have. I’m sure he doesn’t like her any more than he’d like a forty-year-old hooker with nicotine stained fingers if they still existed.”

“What’s she like, your cousin?”

Tal stiffened at the question. There wasn’t a succinct way to describe Leah. “What do you mean?”

“Is she nice? Pretty? Smart? Kind? I don’t know.”
 

He rolled away, concerned that anything he said would give too much away. “She’s my cousin,” he replied curtly. “She’d want to know I’m okay.”

“Then call her,” Lucy replied, obviously confused at his harsh response. “Do what you need to do.”

“I think I want to try mushrooms later,” he replied, surprising himself. “Will you show me how?”

“Show you how to do mushrooms?” Lucy laughed. “Do you want me to chew them for you and spit them into your mouth?”

“Oh, is it your turn to spit in my mouth?” Tal chuckled. “I didn’t know we were making a habit of that.”

“Gross,” she muttered, unable to stop herself from smiling.
 

He cleared his throat gruffly. “So, you just eat them?”

“I can’t believe you never tried—“

Tal looked away from her, irritated that he felt embarrassed for not being as experienced as she was. “Yeah, yeah. I’m a total fucking loser. There you go. I need to go call my cousin.”

Confusion registered instantly on Lucy’s face at his short response. “I’m sorry?”

“It’s fine,” he mumbled. “No problem.”

They were saved from their awkwardness by the diner bell, and a few minutes later they both silently shuffled out of the tent, Tal eager to get away from Lucy’s prying eyes.

He left her in the line for dinner and called Leah at the pay-phone at the far side of the park, near the showers. She answered after a few rings.

“Hey,” Tal said sheepishly, knowing he’d be pissed at her if she’d pulled what he had. “I’m alive.”

A sob jumped through the phone and straight into his gut. “Fucking hell, Tal! Where the fuck are you?”

“I’m in Oklahoma, at some sort of orgy festival,” he answered honestly, a weight lifted off his chest at her knowing he was okay. “We were grabbed by some assholes, and nearly killed, but we escaped.”

“To an orgy festival?”

“We’re hiding out here. It’s…an experience.”

“You and Juan?”

Tal squeezed his eyes shut as he thought of Juan lying next to him, bloody, his eyes still and glassy. “No. Me and Lucy Campbell.”

The line went quiet.
 

“You’re still there?” Tal said, clearing his throat. “Leah?”

“You’re with Lucy Campbell?” she said carefully, before she started talking rapidly. “Why? Tal, are you okay—”
 

“I’m fine. They grabbed Lucy too. We’re…we’re here together.”

“Tal, you watch her,” Leah said, her voice shaking. “She’s…they won’t tell us anything about what happened to you.”
 

Tal knew exactly what his cousin looked like at that moment. Her eyes would be large and troubled and she’d be wringing her hands, the phone cradled in her neck, but her mouth would be tight; angry. “We’re not sure who grabbed us, so they’re playing it safe. It’s nothing to worry about. I’ll…I’ll call again soon.”

“When are you coming home? God, Tal, I thought…” She took a deep breath. “Connor’s beside himself. Things, they’re…it’s….”

Tal felt himself twitch at the thought of his cousin and his oldest friend consoling one another. “Well, I’m sure you’ll tell him I’m fine.”

“You should call him.”

“Maybe in a few days, when I know what’s going on. We’re getting out of here soon.”

“So you’re just going to go along with whatever she says? That’s it? Tal, you’re second in charge here…Connor will send someone for you—”
 

Tal cut her off. “I’ll call in a few days. I’m fine.”

Leah stumbled over her words, desperate to say as much as she could, knowing he was going to hang up. “Don’t let her manipulate you, Tal. She’ll try and—”
 

“Goodbye, Leah,” he said, hanging up the pay phone.
 

He didn’t miss the anxiousness that talking to his cousin brought up in him. A few words and it was all back, swimming around in his insides like some black leech. Despite being kidnapped and thrown into a strange orgy festival, Tal had never felt clearer, and less than five minutes and he felt like the life was being sucked out of him again, not only by Leah, but by West.
 

“You called her?” Lucy said quietly, sitting down beside him some time later with a plate filled with corn and baked potatoes.

“Yep. She was glad to hear from me I think,” he said with a shrug, glancing over at Lucy’s concerned face. “I don’t think anyone from your end told them about Juan.”

“I’ll make sure someone does,” she said, giving him a wry smile. “Listen, I wasn’t trying to upset you earlier—”
 

“No apology necessary,” he said, with a grin.
 

Chapter 14

April 2002

Los Angeles

Nothing would have prepared Tal for the disgust he felt at the sight of Connor Wilde’s pants around his ankles in his lavish office, the girl that he’d hired to star in their first movie,
The Right Way
using her mouth in a way that wasn’t conducive to her learning her lines better.
The Right Way
was a dirty piece of shit, but that seemed to be what kids wanted to see. All the things that they should have seen a bit of at a time under normal circumstances
 
were wide open for consumption.

Tal was no exception. He’d watched hundreds of hours of pornography in the last few months, some of it alone, some of it with friends some of it with Leah. He knew his parents wouldn’t have approved. It made him feel aroused and guilty, uncomfortable, and excited, all at the same time. Tal didn’t know much about sex before, and after watching people have sex in every depraved way possible he understood the logistics, but the dynamics that he saw in those movies didn’t match his memories of his parents, or grandparents, or anyone he’d known before. It stirred odd feelings in him. That, combined with the raging hard on that he ended up with at the most inconvenient times had left him confused about his thoughts, and irritable.
 

“Fuck, you fucking idiot,” Tal snapped, shaking his head before he slammed the door to the prop room. He stomped down the stairs and outside, stopping when he reached a bench about thirty minutes later.
 

They were paying her. Connor was paying her for sex. It wasn’t right. Tal didn’t know much about being an adult, about morals and values but he knew that much.

“I quit,” Tal said, slamming his key to the studio on Connor’s desk a couple of hours later. “You can find someone else to do whatever the fuck it is I’m doing, because I’m done, Connor.”