Authors: Ellen Gordon Reeves
Tags: #Non-Fiction, #Self Help
Can I Wear My Nose Ring to the Interview?: A Crash Course in Finding, Landing, and Keeping Your First Real Job (23 page)
First things first: Yes, you do need to ask. You can’t just list people as references, not warn them, and expect them to remember you and give you a glowing recommendation. If a prospective employer calls or e-mails a reference listed on your contact sheet and the person says, “Oh, Suzie Q … the name sounds familiar but I don’t really remember her,” you’ve just dug your own grave.
Reintroduce yourself to your potential references if necessary, and ask if they’re willing to have you use their names. Give them a chance to say no if they’re busy or don’t feel they can speak well on your behalf.
“I am applying for a job in the energy department of Green Company. Would you be comfortable writing me a recommendation?”
Unless you know your recommender well, you may be better off asking by e-mail rather than over the phone. (Less awkward for everyone if he needs to turn you down.) The process may be a bit nerve-racking, but better to be rejected by a prospective reference than a prospective employer.
Ask as early as you can—as soon as you start your job search. Especially in the case of written references, don’t leave it to the last minute and then demand a rush answer—“I need this by tomorrow.” Busy people will need time to process your request. Years ago when I was teaching high school, a student ran into my office during lunch. It seemed urgent, so I let him interrupt. “Ms. Reeves, I want to ask you for a letter of recommendation for college, and it’s due really soon!” I told him not to worry; we could talk about it in class later that afternoon. “But that’s the thing; it’s Senior Skip Day, so I won’t be there—that’s why I need to ask you now!” I liked him enough to write him a positive recommendation anyway—but I would
not
recommend this approach.
You also need to give yourself time to reach out to other potential recommenders should you find that your first choices are unavailable or unresponsive—too busy, away on sabbatical, sick, or on vacation. Have backup names ready to go.
If your contact with your former employer or professor was minimal, asking for a reference may seem daunting. It may be too late to cultivate a relationship—so vow that from this point on, you will start off on the right foot. Whenever you begin a new course, internship, job, or volunteer position, make a concerted effort to get to know the people in charge, to ask for a written reference
before
you leave—it can be updated periodically
with the input and approval of the writer—and to keep in touch after you’ve left. If you were a student in a large lecture course, though, you might ask your section leader to write a recommendation letter at the end of the semester—and then see if the big-name professor will cosign it. The same goes for former employers; you might have had a direct supervisor who knew you well and can write about your work.
WILL YOU BE MY REFERENCE?
Here’s how you would ask someone to be your reference over the phone:
“Hi, Professor Carter? This is Sandy Richards from your Introduction to Legal Theory Class last year. How are you?”
“I’m applying for jobs at law firms in the area and I wondered if I might use you as a reference.”
“You would? Thank you so much! They’re looking for someone to research law-case precedents, and I hoped you would be able to speak to the research skills I honed through my thesis on
Brown v. Board of Ed
, my writing skills (my thesis won the department prize) and my reliability, since I met all the department deadlines.”
“They don’t require a written reference: They would like to call or e-mail you. Which is better? What contact information should I give them?”
“I appreciate this very much. I thought I would send you a copy of my résumé, the job description, and my thesis overview so you’d have them before they call. Also, if you know anyone at local law firms you would suggest I speak with, I’d appreciate the introduction.”
Whether you’re asking by phone, e-mail, or post, be descriptive but succinct and appropriately grateful. Request all of the information you require in that one approach. It’s far less burdensome to the other party to receive one complete, thorough e-mail than to receive several communications—“Oh, I forgot to mention that I would really appreciate it if you would pass on my résumé to anyone you might know who practices law. Thanks!”
Once you’ve gotten the okay from a reference, don’t expect that you’ll be able to call on his services in perpetuity. I was once told I had written a
recommendation for someone applying to the company where I worked. I said I hadn’t. It turned out the candidate had reused an old recommendation without alerting me. (I knew him from a different context and didn’t make the connection.) I could have been helpful, had he bothered to give me a call in advance. Some employers assume—and don’t mind—that they will be contacted for several years after agreeing to recommend a former employee, but even if this is the case, the more the recommender knows about what you’re doing and what you’re applying for, the better he can talk specifically to how your strengths apply to the new position.
You don’t have to ask and await an answer each time you use a reference. Just send an e-mail saying,
“I’m applying for a job at Cisco and have taken the liberty of giving your name as a reference again. Thanks.”
This is also a good way to make sure the contact info and title you have for this person are still valid.
Q. What do I need to do if I want a recommendation from a professor I had a few years ago? She’ll never remember me.
A.
Include copies of a paper or two you wrote in her class with the grades and comments to jog her memory. If you need to explain a bad grade or you weren’t a top student but still think the person is the right reference for you, explain why:
While I realize I wasn’t a phenomenal student, I got more out of your class than many I took, and the project we did on toads was one of the highlights of my college career. I only got a B-, but you may not realize how much time and effort I put into catching those toads, and I thought you might speak to my diligence and persistence.
Sometimes absent-minded professors need coaching!
When you e-mail a recommender to ask for assistance, include a current résumé. Provide as much information as possible about what you’ve been doing and the jobs for which you’re applying—if there’s a job description online, paste it into your e-mail.
I always ask interns and assistants to keep a running list of all their tasks and copies of everything they create; if I’m asked for a reference, I use those documents to jog my memory and provide concrete material for a phone call or letter. You should be doing this at every job you hold.
WRITING YOUR OWN RECOMMENDATION
Don’t be surprised if you’re asked to write your own recommendation. It’s increasingly common for busy supervisors to have their employees draft letters for them to review, edit, and sign. Don’t assume, though, that they’re simply going to sign and send. They may just be prompting you for a reminder about all your good qualities.
Ask if the recommender would like you to go ahead and draft the letter or just make a list of highlights. Do not heap praise on yourself. Focus on solid evidence, drafting answers to the questions often asked of recommenders:
Context.
What dates did you work there? What was your role and title? How does the recommender know you?
Competence and skills.
What were your responsibilities? Add information about how well you handled them, using concrete detail and data, not adjectives. Describe things you did that went above and beyond the call of duty (special projects you volunteered for or initiated).
Comments.
If possible, include comments from colleagues about how you work with others, your work ethic, and so on.
If you want to micromanage the inevitable weaknesses question—“If you could pinpoint a weakness in this candidate, what would it be?”—add a subtle note to that effect: “Public speaking is an area I’m working on.” (See pages 149–150 for more on handling the question.)
I
F YOUR RECOMMENDER NEEDS TO PROVIDE A WRITTEN REFERENCE
, make the physical aspects of the chore as easy as possible. Enclose the original advertisement, job description, and your application. If a check sheet or form is required, fill out all that you can. Include a self-addressed, stamped envelope or an envelope addressed to the employer. These small courtesies mean a lot.
Q. Do I need written recommendations?
A.
These days, formal recommendations are fading fast, replaced by e-mails, phone calls, and even checklists. But I still suggest asking for a written recommendation letter at the end of a course, job, or internship—it gives you a record to send back to the recommender as a prompt for a verbal or e-mail recommendation.
Once you have the letter, make copies or save it electronically. If the reference is generic, don’t just keep reusing it—ask first.
