Cancelled (18 page)

Johnathan checked his cell phone once more. She still wasn't answering his texts.

“Here.” Eric plopped another shot glass in front of him.

Johnathan shoved it away. “I told you I was only having one drink. I have and I'm done.”

“Johnathan, she's pissed off. She isn't going to talk to you.”

Johnathan shrugged his shoulders and spun away from Eric, thumbs blazing.

I'M SORRY. PLEASE TALK TO ME. WE CAN'T SHUT EACH OUT. HEAR ME OUT AND THEN I'LL LEAVE U ALONE. IF THAT'S WHAT U WANT.

Eric leaned over Johnathan's shoulder, craning to see what he was texting.
“Wrong move, man. You're giving her all of the power.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“You fucked up, that's given.” Eric's words slurred slightly, thanks to the two rounds he drank for both of them. “But you crawling back isn't going to work. She needs to know she can trust you again, and that ain't gonna happen with you acting like a pansy. Man up.”

“That is the stupidest advice I've ever heard, from someone who doesn't even keep a girlfriend.”

Eric leaned back, bumping into the shoulder of the brunette sitting beside him at the bar. “Excuse me, beautiful. Tell my friend here I'm right.”

The girl rotated her head, resting her face over Eric's shoulder. “About what?” she asked. Johnathan couldn't believe Eric was picking up a girl.

“I'm Eric. This is Johnathan.” Eric motioned towards his friend in front of him with a grand roll of his open palm. “He fucked up and didn't tell his fiancée some pretty important shit. Now she won't talk to him, and he's begging her to listen. I told him let her calm down, then be a man and go to her head up and face the music." He rolled his eyes and head towards Johnathan. "Not be a fucking pansy and tell her he'll leave her alone if she wants him to.”

“Hmm, she really won't answer him?” the girl asked.

“Nope.” Eric popped the last consonant and took a sip from the mixed drink the bartender replaced the shot glasses with in a swift, sleight of hand trick.

“Yeah, give her time. When she's ready to talk, she'll let you know.”

Eric turned his back on his friend to continue a conversation with the woman. Johnathan's hand buzzed from an incoming message.

OUT. STAY WITH ANNA TONIGHT. DON'T TEXT ME AGAIN.

At first, Alex relished jamming the button to “Ignore” her lying, possibly cheating fiancé. Finally, it just bugged her so she responded to him. Since then, her phone remained silent.

Alex grabbed Kyle's hand and dragged him from the bar. A recent anthem of jilted women pumped through the small club. Holding her ruby red drink above her head, Alex violently shook her head as the singer bragged about not paying her husband's rent and glorified partying without him. Kyle tried to dance with her instead of beside her, but Alex's lithe movements kept her just out of his grasp.

“Damn, Lexi. You're so hot.” His warm breath on her ear made her body freeze. The song ended and he was close. Too close. What was she doing? She killed her drink and turned to Kyle.

“I think I need to go home now. Drive me?”

“Sure. Anything you want.” Kyle was sober enough to drive the ten miles to her place.

The drive was uneventful, but Kyle didn't know Alex's quiet was an effort to regulate her stomach rumbling full of alcohol and bar food. She opened her window and breathed the fresh air through her nose. The early smells of a summer night–recently cut grass and heat coming off the pavement–calmed her topsy-turvy feelings.

Kyle helped Alex to her bedroom, hoping to be invited in. He stood in the doorway, debating if he should follow her or wait.

“Thanks for tonight. The guest room is made up if you want to crash.” She motioned across the hall with her hand, but kept her back to him. She just wanted to get to the bed.

“You sure you're okay? You're pretty trashed.” He covered his disappointment with concern. She looked obliterated. When they dated, he never saw her drink this much. Whatever Johnathan did, it had to be worse than his own mistakes. Kyle chose to stay and make sure she was okay. He stepped forward and gently took her shoes off before covering her with the quilt.

“I'll stay tonight, just in case you need me.” He retreated to the guest room where the familiar white comforter with a print of large, cobalt flowers covered a queen-sized bed. He hated this bedding back when it was on the main bed. Stripped down to sleep in boxers and his T-shirt, he folded his arms behind his head. Only a little patience before he'd have her back. They belonged together.

Johnathan dumped Eric into his bed. Opening the barren fridge, Johnathan picked up a carton of OJ. Just before pouring a glass, he noticed the expiration date was four months ago. He placed the carton upside down in the sink and opted for a glass of water instead.

Turning on the TV, all he could find was infomercials. Aggravated, he mashed the TV Power button. He checked his phone for any messages he missed. He didn't have any. Instead, he reread the last one Alex sent.

Who was she out with? Should he tell her he's at Eric's? Or would that violate the command to not text anymore tonight?

Closing his eyes, the weight of everything finally crashed over him. He was just glad Eric wasn't coherent. Johnathan laid back and ignored the discomfort of the lumpy couch. Laying his right arm over his moistened eyes, he willed himself to get some sleep. First thing in the morning, he was going home and winning his fiancée back. Whether she was ready or not.

12

E
yes stinging from dryness, Alex woke up the next morning completely wrecked. She woke up sometime in the middle of the night and cried her frustrations out before passing back out. She trudged to her bathroom and ran water for a bath. Sinking below the water line, the steam and heat minimized the hangover throbbing in her temples. Emerging her face from the water, she gasped at hearing the front door open and close.

“Alexis!”

It was him. She grabbed her kimono style robe and whirled it around her soaking body. The pale blue silk quickly darkened from absorbing the water droplets on her skin.

Alex hurried down the stairs with Kyle close behind. The door slam must have woken him up, too. Johnathan's mouth sucked in a breath when his fiancée and her ex appeared together from the bedroom area, without proper clothing.

Kyle looked from Johnathan to Alex. Then back to Johnathan. “It's not how it looks. I slept in the guest room.” Kyle explained, his hands up in a defensive stance.

“What in the hell are you doing here?” Johnathan asked.

“Don't answer that, it's none of his business. Why are you here?” Alex prevented Kyle from answering her fiancé and turned the tables on him. Kyle pulled away from the wall he was trying to blend in with and moved towards her. He pecked her cheek and mumbled his apologies before heading back up the stairs.

“We need to talk. I tried to call you all night last night.”Johnathan begged.

“I was unavailable.”

“Apparently. What the hell is going on?”

“Oh, you don't like it when the person you are supposed to be in a relationship with, the person you are supposed to marry in a few months, suddenly goes off the grid?”

Johnathan paced the length of the living room, straining to pull his hair out of his head. Alex could hear him muttering to himself.

“I can explain.” Johnathan stopped his pacing and tried to make eye contact with his fiancée now staring at the floor. Alex's gaze rose to challenge him.

“I don't think you can.”

Kyle jogged back down the stairs, still fastening his belt. Alex shifted her attention from Johnathan to Kyle.

“No, please stay. He should go.” She didn't want to deal with Johnathan, not yet.

“Yeaaaahhhhh. I think you guys need to work something out.” Kyle dragged out, looking back and forth at both of them. “I've got a shift later at the hospital, but I'm only a phone call away if you need me.” Kyle hugged Alexis goodbye, purposely making eye-contact with Johnathan as his face rested over her shoulder. Johnathan clenched his fists by his sides and tightened his jaw.

“Alexis, please, please give me a chance. I hated trying to handle it all on my own, but I didn't know how to tell you. I made lunch plans with you because I planned to tell you, in person.” Johnathan decreased the physical distance between him and his bride-to-be. The door shutting after Kyle sparked Alexis back to life. She shrank back and turned to the kitchen. Food. She needed food before she could handle any kind of discussion.

The burner glowed bright red, warming the non-stick omelet pan. Alex furiously beat two eggs in a bowl, and poured the mixture into the hot pan. After sprinkling what was left of a package of shredded cheddar cheese on top, she expertly flipped half of the egg dish over the other half with a spatula. Johnathan tried to help her, but she shunned him at every chance without saying a word. Even with her back to him, she smelled the coffee he was brewing.

Johnathan broke the silence to begin.

“I only knew for sure I was the father about four weeks ago when the amnio results came back. I had already planned our romantic weekend away, and I didn't want to spoil my proposal with the news.” Johnathan took a breath, and waited for a cue from her.

Water sizzled straight into steam when Alex held the hot, non-stick skillet under the tap and scraped the remnants of egg off the edges. Dumping the pan into the sink, she turned to him with the spatula still in hand, pointed directly at him.

“You asked me to marry you knowing you might have a child on the way? You didn't think this was important information for me?” she accused him with venom in her voice. She tossed the spatula into the sink with a metallic thud, and poured herself a cup of coffee.

Johnathan slumped in the dinette chair and gulped.

“I should have told you, but I thought if you loved me, it wouldn't matter.” He twisted around to look directly at her before continuing. “But I come with a kid or not at all, there isn't anything I can do about that.”

Alex knew a defense mechanism when she heard one. “I do love you,” she automatically responded, carrying her plate and coffee over to the seat across from him. The fluffy, yellow half moon on her plate had her full attention. She cut a bite-sized piece with the side of her fork and stabbed it ruthlessly. “I don't trust you.”

She couldn't make eye contact with him. Instead, she diligently worked on eating her breakfast.

“I love you, too. More than anything, you have to know that. I'll make it up to you, I promise. Whatever time you need, I want you to trust me again.” Johnathan extended his hand over the table to reach for her left one that wasn't employed in eating. His thumb ran over the finger where she wasn't wearing her ring.

Alex choked slightly on the piece in her mouth. She was confused. She hadn't meant to sound as if everything was resolved. Honestly, she hadn't processed the idea of being a stepmother upon taking her vows. The dream wedding in her head turned into a nightmare of screaming, spit up, and poopie diapers. The room felt heavy. Gently, she pulled her hand away to drink her coffee.

“Why don't you get a cup of coffee.”

With Johnathan's back to her, she ran through a million possibilities in her mind. Mostly, she recognized she lacked information.

“Is it a girl or a boy?”

“A girl.” Johnathan smiled at her, making her even more uncomfortable.

“How is living here going to work? Won't you need a bigger place?”

He drank his coffee slowly. She had caught him off-guard.

“You already bought this place, and it's a two bedroom. We could put a crib in the guest room for when she visits. I don't think the market is good right now for us to try to sell this place.” Johnathan started to give the older town home a critical eye.

The idea of a crib for another woman's baby appalled her. She couldn't help it; this was a huge commitment she didn't know she could make.

“Maybe a pack and play would be better, so we could put it away when the baby isn't here.”

“I don't want my daughter sleeping in a playpen. This will be her home, too. Eventually, that room would be her bedroom.”

Alex didn't answer. Johnathan shifted his weight where he was standing in the kitchen. Failing to find a confident position standing up, he rejoined her at the table and sat down.

“You aren't okay with this, are you?” he asked. She could barely hear his voice.

A bird chirped from the small bird house Alex filled with bird seed on her back porch. Staring out the French doors to the patio, she recognized the small intruder as a robin. This wasn't the house she planned to raise children in. Their children. They were supposed to be married for a few years before buying a house in a good school district, with a yard and space to grow. Not in her little town home she bought after their first big contract.

She sighed and looked down at her hands. She wanted to be careful, avoiding a rash decision like calling off the wedding. “No, I'm not okay. Not yet. I need some time, Johnathan. To process.”

“How long do you think you'll need?” He tried to mask his frustration. Gaunt hollows replaced his handsome dimples as he tightened his jaw, producing a straight line across his lips.

Alex stood up, suddenly needing to move. The interrogation was going awry and she didn't like feeling she was the monster. He was the one who lied.

“You've had months to wrap your mind around bringing a child into this world. I haven't. You were the one who denied me that, I might point out. And the baby isn't even mine.”

“She will be once we are married, so don't take this lightly.”

“Oh believe me, I'm not taking this lightly. No one dreams of becoming a stepmother.”

Johnathan relaxed his eyebrows and mouth into a look of utter defeat. “You're right, I'm sorry. I just worry about the baby because she's innocent in all of this.”

“Yeah.” Alex tried to summon sympathy for her fiancé's unborn child, but kept focusing on the fact that the baby wasn't with her. “I just need more information, I don't even know who this woman is.”