Candle in the Darkness (40 page)

I nodded. “As long as Charles is okay, I’ll be fine.”

“Well . . .” He cleared his throat. “What I’ve come to discuss with you is very serious, but it has nothing directly to do with Charles’ safety. Would you prefer to drive home and talk about this?”

“I don’t know . . . tell me what it’s about.”

“It has to do with Libby Prison.” He tilted his head toward the building across the street.

“The prison? Tell me now.”

He sighed, then studied the ground for a moment as if searching for words. “It has recently come to my attention that you have been a regular visitor there, and frankly . . . well, I was shocked to hear it. I didn’t believe Major Turner when he first told me you went there, but he suggested I drive down and see for myself. And so I have.”

I was dumbfounded. “I’ve never tried to keep my visits a secret from you . . . or anyone else.”

“I understand you’re visiting a specific prisoner?”

“Yes, my cousin Robert Hoffman. Why?”

“Just how is this man related to you . . . if I might ask?”

I couldn’t believe he was interrogating me this way. My heart continued to pound as my fear slowly transformed into anger. I struggled not to show it. “Robert is related by marriage. My mother’s sister—who grew up here in Richmond—married Philip Hoffman, Robert’s uncle. They were kind enough to take me into their home in Philadelphia after my mother died. That’s where I met Robert. He is nothing more to me than a cousin, no different than my cousin Jonathan.”

Mr. St. John’s eyes met mine. “I’d like to ask you not to visit him anymore.”

“Why? All I do is bring him a little food and some reading material. Conditions in that place are deplorable.”

“From now on your boy can deliver the parcels. Major Turner will see that your cousin gets them.”

“That’s not the point. Doesn’t the Bible say we’re supposed to visit the sick and those who are in prison?”

“Does Charles know you’re going there to see that man?”

I shook my head. I don’t know why I’d never told Charles, but I hadn’t. At first, it didn’t seem important. After I’d carried the Bible to the Union lines, I was afraid to tell him, afraid my guilt would bleed between the lines, staining my letters with it. I could no longer meet Mr. St. John’s gaze.

“Listen, Caroline, I’m sure your intentions are innocent enough. But in many people’s eyes, your actions are scandalous. The fact that you’re helping an enemy soldier calls your loyalty into question. Visiting a man in close quarters without a proper chaperone puts your reputation at risk. I’m going to ask you again for Charles’ sake—and for the sake of your own reputation— please stop coming here to the prison.”

For a long moment, I couldn’t speak. He was right, of course. I would have to send Robert a note in my next parcel, explaining why I could no longer come. I sat with my head bowed, staring at my hands for such a long time, Mr. St. John interpreted my silence as acquiescence and got ready to leave.

“Thank you for understanding. Good day, Caroline.”

I finally looked up, and this time my eyes met Eli’s. There was no anger in them, no reproach, yet I knew before I even asked his counsel what his answer would be.

“Mr. St. John . . . wait!”

He turned and slowly limped back as I climbed down from my carriage.

“I’m sorry, but I have to refuse your request. I will write to Charles myself and tell him all my reasons for visiting Robert. And Eli will stay right beside me from now on as a chaperone. But I believe that obeying Christ is more important than worrying about what other people think. Robert is not an enemy soldier but a prisoner, a friend suffering inhuman conditions. Jesus said that whatever we do for the least of our brethren, we do for Him.”

Mr. St. John turned so abruptly and walked away that I wasn’t able to see his face. But I saw Eli’s. And his smile could have lit up the darkest prison cell.

I wrote to Charles that evening, telling him the same things I’d told his father. I asked for neither his permission nor his blessing but concluded by saying that if he were ever captured, I would pray that the women up north would show their enemies the same Christian kindness I was showing to Robert. Two days later, I gave the letter to Jonathan to deliver. He was returning to the warfront, the wound to his arm finally healed. Sally and I went to the train station to see him off.

The moment Jonathan’s train disappeared from sight, Sally gave up all pretense of bravery and fell into my arms, weeping. I rode home with her, trying my best to comfort her. The servants brought tea and pulled one of the parlor sofas close to the fire so we could warm ourselves after our farewell on the chilly train platform. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” she said, wiping her eyes. “I didn’t carry on like this the last time Jonathan left.”

“Sally . . . have you fallen in love with him?” I asked gently.

She began weeping all over again. “I’ve spent so much time with him these past few weeks, talking to him, taking care of him . . . and he is the sweetest, most wonderful man I’ve ever known. If anything happens to him . . . if I never see him again . . . I don’t know what I would do or how I would live.”

I gathered her in my arms, soothing her the way Tessie always soothed me. “I think you’ve answered my question. You’re in love with him. And if it’s any consolation, Jonathan has been in love with you for three years.” I smiled, but she was too distraught to return it.

“What am I going to do, Caroline? How can you stand not seeing the man you love, having him so far away? And in so much danger?”

“I can’t stand it. I hate it. I know you’ve always supported the war, but I wish it would end right this minute, before one more person has to die.”

“I think I understand why you’ve never cheered like everyone else,” Sally said as she blew her nose. “I can’t believe I was naïve enough to think the war was glorious.”

“War may not be glorious, but it does take courage to stand up for your convictions like Jonathan and Charles are doing. That’s what my father told me before he left. He said every man—and every woman—needs to do what they feel is the right thing to do in this war.”

“Is that why you visit your Yankee friend in Libby Prison?” Sally asked. She spoke just above a whisper.

I shivered, but not from the November chill. “Yes . . . how did you hear about Robert?”

“My father. He’s furious with you.”

“Because I refused to stop going there?”

“Yes, and because everyone in Richmond is talking about you. Helen Taylor and her mother are spreading gossip about you all over town. Daddy hates a scandal.”

“Did your father also tell you why I refused? That it’s because the Bible says when we visit those in prison it’s as if we’re visiting Jesus himself?”

Sally reached for the teapot and poured each of us a cup of tea. She wouldn’t look at me. “You have to understand my father. He’s used to getting his own way. He was very angry with you for not leaving Richmond with us last May. This incident at the prison only made matters worse. He feels responsible for you. You should try to smooth things over with him, Caroline.”

“How? He won’t be happy unless I stop going to the prison altogether, right?”

“I suppose not. But he’s threatening to write to Charles about you.”

I shivered again. “Let me ask you a question. If your father was angry with Jonathan . . . if he forbade you to see him . . . would you marry him anyway?”

Sally set her cup on the tea cart before answering. “I could never have imagined going against Daddy’s wishes before the war started. But I also couldn’t have imagined working with all those wounded men at the hospital. Now, after all we’ve been through . . . yes. I would marry Jonathan whether Daddy approved or not.”

I closed my eyes in relief. “I hope your brother feels the same way you do.”

The battle we had all been expecting took place at Fredericksburg on December 13. Once again, the victorious Confederates halted another Union drive to take Richmond. And once again, Sally and I joined with the other women of Richmond in the heartbreaking ritual of reading the casualty lists. Neither Jonathan nor Charles was listed among the more than five thousand names.

My relief was profound. Then I saw the disappointment on the face of every slave I passed on the streets and realized that for them, a Confederate victory was a defeat, their freedom that much further in the future.

I dreaded facing Robert for the same reason. He had been certain that General Burnside would succeed where the others had failed and that any moment now, Union troops would pour into the city, liberating him and his fellow prisoners. “Is it true about Fredericksburg?” he asked the moment he saw me, and I knew he must have heard about it from the gloating guards.

“Yes, it’s true. Fredericksburg was another Union defeat. I brought you the newspaper if you want to torture yourself with the details.”

He pushed it away. “I have a plan, Caroline.”

“It’s too late. The battle is over and done with. The snow is falling, it’s freezing outside, and there probably won’t be any more fighting until spring.”

“Not a battle plan,” he said, shaking his head. “An escape plan.” His eyes were unnaturally bright. I’d never seen such frenzied agitation in them before, and I was frightened for him. I glanced at Eli, who now accompanied me on each visit, then sank down onto the bench.

“I’m listening.”

“Good. Because I’m going to need your help.” He pulled his bench closer, speaking barely above a whisper. “I’m going to dig a tunnel. I know that sounds impossible, but I think I’ve figured out a way to get into an unused part of the basement by burrowing down through the chimney. What I need from you is the layout of the area surrounding this place so I’ll know in which direction to dig and how far. You need to find a place where I can come out of the tunnel without being seen by the sentries.”

“Robert . . . if you’re caught—”

“I know! I know!” he shouted. “You don’t need to say it!” Then he took control of himself again and lowered his voice. “I know the risks. But I need to make up for all my stupid mistakes at Ball’s Bluff. I need to get back into the war and fight. I let my men down when I surrendered—I let myself down. Maybe I can make up for it by getting some of us out of this place.”

“You mean . . . you’re not the only one who’s going to do this? H-how many others?”

“Anyone who wants to take the risk with me.”

I wished I had done what Mr. St. John had asked and never returned to see Robert. I couldn’t possibly get involved in such a dangerous plot. I could hang for helping enemy prisoners escape. But I could also see how close to the edge of sanity Robert was, and I didn’t know how to dissuade him without destroying all of his hope.

“What’s wrong?” he asked when I hesitated too long.

“It’s one thing for you and the other men to risk your own lives. It’s another thing to ask me to risk mine. I delivered the Bible because I thought it would bring the war to an end and buy the slaves their freedom. But what you’re asking now . . . for me to help you and who knows how many others to escape . . . that’s an entirely different matter.”

“No, it’s exactly the same. You didn’t let me finish telling you my plan, Caroline. Once I’m out of here, I’m going to have our undercover people here in Richmond contact you. All the information you gather from the Confederate officials in your social circle can be passed along to them. They’ll relay it to our military planners. If you help us win the war, slavery will be abolished in all the Rebel states.”

“I never said I was willing to spy—”

“You’ve already spied,” he said angrily. “Whatever your reasons were for doing it the first time, they’re exactly the same reasons why you should continue to help us. In fact, this time you’ll be safer. You won’t even have to leave Richmond.”

“I’ll have to think about it.”

“Fine. You think about it.” His tone was bitter, his face twisted with contempt. “In the meantime, I’m going to start digging. Are you going to help me plan the tunnel’s exit site, or are you too afraid to do even that?”

I hated the man Robert had become in this terrible place. After the defeat at Fredericksburg, it would be months before the Yankees could make another attempt to conquer Richmond and set him free. He would never last that long.

“What do you need to know?” I asked.

“We’re only allowed to look out of the south windows. I know there’s a street down below, and the canal about fifty feet away. We can’t tunnel in that direction because it would probably fill with water. I need to know what’s on the other three sides of this place.”

I thought for a moment. “Twentieth Street runs along the western wall of the building, and Cary Street along the northern. Across the street from both of them are huge vacant lots. Nothing to hide behind in either one. You’d have to dig a very long way to be out of the guards’ sight when you emerged.” I paused, trying to picture the fourth side. “There’s another, smaller vacant lot along the eastern wall, about fifty feet wide. There are some buildings on the other side of it—I’ve never looked too carefully at them, but I will if you want me to. I can let you know what I find out the next time I come.” I stood, knowing that our allotted time was nearing an end.