Can't Buy Me Love (15 page)

Chase
knew he had baggage. And he knew that he needed to be careful that he didn’t
misjudge others because of that baggage. But Lena’s end of the conversation had
just gotten worse.
I honestly have started to cringe when he calls me and
says that he wants to see me.
Well that just hurt, Chase admitted to
himself. He had thought that they were getting along really well, and that Lena
liked spending time with him as much as he enjoyed spending time with her. He’d
been fooled before, he knew, but this time he honestly thought he’d met someone
who liked him too.

Sitting
down on the couch in the office, Chase tried to think logically. He remembered
their time together in Arizona. He thought about how much Lena’s staff here at
the shelter loved her. He thought about his growing attraction to her, and how
much he enjoyed her company. But the words he’d overheard her saying kept
playing over and over in his mind. And though he would have liked nothing more
than to ignore them and pretend they were never uttered, he couldn’t do that.
Pretentious.
Arrogant. Boring. Conceited. Rich.

Chase
knew that he and Lena were sexually compatible – you couldn’t fake that kind of
chemistry. But it was quite possible that her body and her wallet wanted him,
but her brain and her heart did not. And at this point, Chase could understand
the emotions that a conflicting heart and head could cause, because his own
heart was telling him that there must be some rationale for what he’d just
heard. But his head was telling him that no other explanation made sense.

He
sees what he wants to see. Or what I choose to show him.
He
thought back to his months spent with Charlene, and then thought about how she
became a completely different woman after he showed up at her workplace. At one
point, when they were together in Arizona, Lena had actually told him that she
had changed her personality to suit him.
I thought that Charlene was who you
wanted
, she had said
.
So while it was true that he liked Lena far
better, was she just another derivation of a personality, designed to reel him
in?

Her
father had unintentionally warned him. He had told Chase that Lena liked having
money, liked the latest fashions, the best salons. William Magill was an idiot,
but what if he was right?

He
honestly doesn’t know me at all. Or really, anything about who I am, or what I
want out of life. He sees what he wants to see. Or maybe just what I choose to
show him.
Actually, that wasn’t true, Chase thought. After
overhearing her phone call, it seemed that he now knew exactly who she was and
what she wanted. Snippets of the rest of the conversation only deepened the
sense of betrayal.
But I honestly just feel sorry for him. What a way to
live your life...

If
only there were some other logical explanation, but the only thing Chase could
come up with was what he’d feared all along – once again, his money was more
attractive to a woman he was growing to like than his personality was. Geez, he
thought. This was getting to be ridiculous. Maybe he had some fatal flaw that
always caused him to be attracted to the kind of woman he didn’t want. And just
as he’d been blind to these same traits in Beth and Sarah, two of his previous
girlfriends, it appeared that he was repeating his pattern. Everything had
seemed fine with them too, he reminded himself. It seemed to always take
something outside of the relationship to bring him to his senses.

He
shook his head and closed his eyes, fighting the disappointment. Lena had
seemed so right for him in so many ways. But then, so had Sarah. But Lena had a
job, a life, a sense of humor. Ah, but so had Sarah. Damnit, he thought. He was
such an idiot. And he had to end this, and quickly. He didn’t want to see her pity
when she realized that he had fallen for her. He had to break this off while he
still had some self-respect, and before he got in any deeper.

And
he might as well stop trying to find someone, he thought bleakly. Or just
accept that money would always be a part of any relationship he tried to start.
Or maybe he just needed to accept that he’d be a bachelor for life. Either way,
the future looked dreary. But that was no reason to stay with Lena. Better a
bachelor than a fool.

Hanging
up the phone, Lena leaned back in her chair and just looked out the window of
her office. It was quiet today, and she was thankful for a few minutes alone. She
had missed Ned, more than she had admitted to herself before now, and she was
looking forward to seeing him. And to having him meet Chase. But she was
worried about her brother – there was obviously something going on in his life
that was bothering him. Thankfully, Lena knew that there would be time enough
to talk about it over the next few days, while he was on her couch eating pizza
and drinking good wine with her. And attempting to pet her dog, of course.

She
was just about to get up and rejoin Amelia in her office when she heard a sound
in her doorway. Spinning her chair around, she looked up and was startled to
see Chase standing in her office door. He was leaning against the doorframe, just
watching her. She smiled her welcome – she hadn’t expected to see him today,
and she was surprised at how glad she was to see him.

“Hey,”
she said, putting her glasses down on the papers in front of her. “I didn’t
know you were here today. This is a nice surprise.”

When
Chase didn’t smile in return, Lena cocked her head and looked up at him.

“What’s
wrong?” she asked. “Did something happen?”

“You
might say that,” he returned, pushing himself off the door frame and standing
tall and imposingly in the opening.

She
scrambled to her feet. “What happened?” she demanded, prepared to go out into
the shelter and deal with whatever had occurred, but Chase stopped her with his
words.

“Sit
back down, Lena,” he said softly.

But
she couldn’t. Something was terribly wrong, she thought. The look on Chase’s face
was expressionless. It was a look she hadn’t seen there for a while.

“The
walls in this place are very thin, and your door was open.”

She
nodded as the noise from the shelter echoing down the hallway confirmed what
Chase had said.

“So
you’ll understand that I didn’t intend to eavesdrop on your conversation.”

“With
Ned?” She shrugged. “That’s fine. He’s anxious to meet you. He can’t decide if
he should like you sight unseen since Pops likes you, or if he should reserve
judgment since Dad likes you.”

“Well,
given your assessment of me and my personality, I’d say that he has probably
already made up his mind.”

Lena
looked puzzled. “Did I say anything about you? I think I just told him that…”
she stopped, blushing. She had told her brother that she thought it might be
serious. Was that what Chase had heard? But why was he upset, unless he just
wasn’t ready to hear that?

Chase
was nodding, his expression serious. Quietly, he said, “I heard you, Lena. Every
word. Good thing I’m rich, since you find me pretentious, arrogant, and boring.”

Misinterpreting
Lena’s gasp as one of guilt, he just shook his head. “You had me fooled,
Charlene. Too bad I overheard your call – you probably could have eventually turned
this relationship into exactly what you wanted. Marriage to a rich man.”

Lena
was stunned into silence, but she managed to shake her head. “But… Chase, no! I
wasn’t referring to you. I was…”

He
interrupted her, not wanting to hear any lies or excuses. He kept his voice down,
but his meaning and his decisiveness were clear as he said, “Charlene, I may be
arrogant and boring, but I’m not stupid. And I’m honest. So I’ll just tell you
straight out that I’m not interested in pursuing a relationship with you any
longer. I wish you luck in finding what you want.” Giving a quick and decisive
nod in her direction, he stepped out of her office and headed for the door.

Lena
nearly leaped over her desk in an attempt to stop him. “Chase! Chase! Wait,
please!” she called down the hallway. But he kept going. And as she watched him
walk away from her, Lena suddenly knew that regardless of what he
thought
he’d overheard, their relationship was over. For him to believe that she would
say such horrible things about him without stopping to ask her why…. It just
showed her that the trust she thought had built between them was a wisp of
smoke, gone at the first breeze. She stopped, and watched him go, her heart
breaking with every step he took.

Fourteen

Late
on Saturday afternoon, Lena looked at herself in the mirror and winced. She
looked terrible. After two sleepless nights and a couple of really awful days,
the circles under her eyes were pronounced, exaggerating the sadness etched on
her face. She needed to go out tonight, she knew that she did. Partly because
she had promised the hosts of the event, and partly because she knew that if
she didn’t go, she would just curl up on the couch and cry.

But
Chase would be at the party tonight. It was a huge event, and there was no way
that he’d miss it, particularly since it was unlikely that
he
was
sitting home tonight nursing a broken heart. And as much as Lena wanted to be
realistic, there was a part of her that hoped against hope that he might have
realized that he’d misinterpreted her words. Or at least that he might decide
to give her a chance to explain.

She
had thought back to that phone conversation with Ned a million times. It was so
benign, she thought, apart from what she’d said about Patterson James. Maybe if
she’d been nicer, or just told her brother that she’d tell him more when he got
here, everything would still be fine. But deep down inside, Lena knew that the
conversation itself wasn’t the problem. The problem was that Chase had
immediately thought the worst of her, and never allowed her to explain. The
reaction to overhearing her phone conversation was a symptom – the lack of
trust was the underlying disease.

She
had called Kat earlier that day and begged her to come over to her apartment
that afternoon, and to join her at the party in the evening. She promised that
they wouldn’t stay longer than an hour, and that she’d loan her best friend
anything she wanted to wear. Kat, who normally avoided these things like Lena
avoided spiders, heard the desperation in her friend’s voice and immediately
agreed. She’d be here any moment, and Lena knew that she needed to clean
herself up a bit before anyone saw her.

Washing
her face with cold water, Lena set to work repairing the damage. Moisturizer,
primer, concealer, a light coat of foundation, blush, mascara, eye-liner, a
light-colored eye-shadow... it all seemed like a mask to Lena. Something she
needed to put on in order to perform. But none of it could hide the deep sorrow
in her eyes. And, if she were honest with herself, the concealer didn’t do much
to mask the circles under her eyes, either.

When
she heard a light knock on the door, followed by a key in the lock, Lena knew
that Kat was here. Within seconds, she was enveloped in the warm hug of a dear
friend, and Lena had to step back and wrap her own arms around herself.

“Stop
it,” she begged. “You’re gonna make me cry again, and it took me forever to get
my face looking like something I could appear in public with.”

Kat
stepped back and took a critical look. “OK. You look good, sweetie. But I’m
going to lighten your mascara a bit, since that will be a dead giveaway if you
tear up at all. And I want to do something with your hair. Sit.”

Letting
Kat take control felt freeing to Lena. Like she could just let someone else
take charge, and everything would be OK. She reached up a hand and grasped her
friend’s fingers. “Thank you,” she managed to say.

“After
this evening is over, you can tell me everything. But I take your point on your
makeup. So I’m just going to regale you with tales of restaurant kitchen
nightmares, while you sit there and let me fix you up. But later, we’ll get a
bottle of wine, or a pint of Ben and Jerry’s, sit on the couch and attempt to
pet Winston, and then I can figure out what weapon to use when I maim this man
who hurt you.”

Lena
smiled sadly. “I’m sorry I’m going to be a downer tonight.”

“No,
you’re not. You’re my best friend. And we’re going to make you look so good
that the man is going to be tripping over his own tongue and ending up in the
punch bowl. Now stop talking, and definitely stop crying. Oh, and figure out
what dress I’m wearing, because if I go in the dress I have on, I’ll embarrass
the hell out of you.”

“I
already figured it out. If Winston hasn’t eaten it, it’s on my bed.”

“Where
is the skittish little man?” Kat asked, looking around.

“Outside.
Trying to figure out if the dog reflected in the sliding glass door is a threat
or not.”

Kat
laughed. “I love that pooch.”

“You
and me both.”

An
hour later, both women were dressed, coiffed, and made up. The drive to the
hotel where the party was being held was an easy one, and traffic was fairly
light on the highway, so they pulled into the parking lot of the event hall
within half an hour of leaving Lena’s apartment. Festivities were in full
swing, so Lena and Kat checked their coats, and moved into the banquet hall. Lena
had chosen a navy blue dress this evening, which was cut in a simple line with
a heart-shaped neckline that accentuated her curves. She had dressed Kat in a
wine-colored gown with a halter top and an a-line skirt, which complemented
Kat’s darker coloring perfectly.

“Plus,
it has the added benefit of being the same color as your favorite red wine, so
you’re set if anyone spills anything on you,” Lena teased as she’d handed the
dress to Kat earlier that evening.

“Considering
I’m not really planning on leaving you, except to go say hello to the catering
staff, you’re the most likely culprit for spilling on me. So just don’t,” Kat
warned.

Now,
as they moved into the large room, full of tuxedoed men and beautifully-dressed
women, Lena plucked two glasses of wine from a roaming waiter’s tray and handed
one to Kat. “Cheers, Kat,” she said with a wry smile. The two women clinked
glasses, gave each other reassuring smiles, and then turned to survey the room.

“Is
he here?” Kat asked quietly.

“I
don’t see him yet. But he’s bound to be. Let’s take a walk around the room, see
what kind of appetizers are on offer, and you can tell me what you’d do
differently,” Lena offered.

“OK.
When you spot him, just let me know and I’ll disappear for a few minutes.”

Lena
nodded. “Thanks, Kat. You’re a great friend. And you look amazing in that
dress. I knew it would be perfect for you.”

Laughing,
Kat took a sip of her wine. “And you also know that, left to my own devices, I’d
be here in an off-the-rack ill-fitting suit from a department store, so right
back at you on the friend thing. I feel like a million bucks, and it’s thanks
to you. So I’m going to see about making some catering connections tonight
while you talk to Chase. And, if things work out, I’ll just take your car back
to your place and you can get him to bring you home later.”

But
Lena shook her head. “I don’t have any hopes at all that we’ll fix things. I
just want to know if they might be fixable, and to just apologize.”

“Why
are you the one apologizing?”

“Because
if he honestly believes I meant those things about him, then I’m sure I hurt
him,” Lena said seriously as she took another sip of wine.

“OK.
Appetizers straight ahead. Let’s go.”

On
their way to one of the many small tables lining the room, Lena caught a
glimpse of Chase out of the corner of her eye. He was with a woman, and was
bending down slightly so he could hear what she was saying. When he laughed and
gave the woman a gentle squeeze around the shoulders, Lena had to close her
eyes for a moment to fight the abject sorrow that threatened to clutch her
heart.

“He’s
here, huh?” Kat said, moving in front of her, and allowing her to focus for a
moment on her friend, and not on the man across the room.

Lena
nodded.

“And
with someone else, if your expression means what I think it does.”

She
nodded again, fighting for tight control of her emotions. “I don’t think I can
do this.”

“Of
course you can. Now concentrate on me for a few minutes. And on the food. When
he’s alone, go.”

“All
right,” Lena breathed out. “Take me to the food and tell me what to eat and
what to avoid. No seafood tonight for me, OK?”

“Since
when don’t you like seafood?” Kat asked in confusion.

“I
like it. Winston doesn’t. He cowers in the corner if he smells it on me.”

Kat
just shook her head. “That dog has more neuroses than my grandmother. And that’s
saying something. OK. No seafood.”

About
forty-five minutes later, several different kinds of finger foods tasted and
rated, as well as two different kinds of red wine, Lena looked over and saw
Chase standing alone at one of the many small bar stations scattered throughout
the room. Giving Kat a quick squeeze on her arm, and nodding her head toward
where Chase was standing, she left her friend to go chat with the catering
staff while she headed toward the man who, even now, made her heart beat
faster. Especially in a tuxedo, she thought. He looked handsome, powerful, and
just a bit dangerous, and the combination was extremely sexy, Lena thought. Seconds
later, she reminded herself that he didn't trust her. And that was a
relationship deal-breaker.

As
Chase turned away from the bar with a drink in his hand, Lena stepped up and
gently laid a hand on his sleeve.

“Chase?”
she said tentatively. “Could we talk for a moment?”

The
look he gave her was so full of anger that she stepped back as if he’d shoved
her, pulling her hand away and tucking it safely behind her. She was stunned by
the cold expression on his face, particularly after all they’d shared in the
past. She would have expected some withdrawal, but this was almost painful in
its intensity.

When
he spoke, his voice was cool and polite. “I’m sorry, Charlene, but I’m with
someone this evening.”

“I
see,” she said softly. And she really did. But she couldn’t let him go without
telling him how wrong he’d been. More than anything, she worried that she’d
hurt him, unintentionally, with words that were not directed at him. She tried
again.

“Look.
What you heard – it wasn’t about you. I was talking to my brother. I hadn’t
seen him in months. He asked about the guy I was seeing, and I said Chase. But
then he reverted to the guy my father had pushed on me the month before.
That’s
who I referred to as pretentious. And Ned and I were kidding about the rich
thing – that’s just standard Magill conversation when you’re talking about my
father.”

She
took a deep breath and continued. “I’m so sorry that you thought I was talking
about you, Chase – it must have been awful for you to think that I not only
said those things, but that I was describing you to my brother that way.”

Looking
him directly in the eye, she concluded, “I guess I can only hope that you might
have felt like you knew me well enough to give me the benefit of the doubt, but
I understand that this issue is an Achilles heel for you. So… That’s it. I wish
this were fixable, but I know it probably isn’t. So I’ll go now. And I won’t
bother you again. I promise. Goodbye, Chase. And I hope you find what you’re
looking for someday.”

She
turned and strolled away, willing herself not to cry, willing herself to show
no emotion at all. She didn’t turn around, didn't see the guarded expression on
his face as she walked away. She just walked. She needed to find Kat, and then
they could leave. She wouldn’t cry until she was home alone with her best
friend, a carton of ice cream, and Winston. Years of living in the same house
as her father had taught her to keep her emotions boxed carefully inside of
her. So that’s where they would stay, she told herself sternly, until she was
ready to let them out.

Kat,
God bless her, had been watching for her, and as soon as Lena broke away from
Chase, her friend was by her side, entertaining her with mindless prattle about
the food, the caterers, the people she’d run into. She was fully focused on
keeping Lena from breaking down until they were outside and in the car. Alone. Quickly
she retrieved their coats for them from the coatroom, helped her friend into
hers, and then led her out the door.

“Give
me the keys, sweetie,” she said quietly when they got outside. “I’ll go get the
car. You’re in no shape to drive.”

Gratefully,
Lena handed over the keys and snuggled deeper into her coat, wrapping her arms
around her middle to keep herself warm. She was fighting tears, but she knew
that she’d done and said the right things tonight. Things that may not make a
difference in terms of healing a relationship with Chase, but words that needed
to be said to assuage her own conscience. It had been hard to see him, and
doubly hard to get hit by the wall of ice that was Chase Hamilton tonight, but
it was over now. And if she could just continue to function for a few more days
or weeks, she’d get over him. She had to.

Ned’s
arrival helped. A lot. She had company every night, which meant that someone
was always around to distract her. Even if that someone was currently despondent.
Lena saw it in his eyes as soon as she picked him up at the airport – he was as
heartbroken as she was. Ah well, she thought. Misery loves company. She was
well stocked on wine and other assorted beverages, and Winston was enough to
break anyone out of a funk. She should know – she’d had enough funks to break
out of lately.