Can't Get Enough of You (14 page)

Much had changed over the years, but one thing had not. Despite her best efforts, she hadn't forgotten that intense heat and soaring passion were as much a part of their lovemaking as sweetness and tenderness.

She had to be careful not to confuse the past with the present. Yes, it had been incredible. It was also glaringly obvious that she'd cared too much back then . . . had loved too deeply. The loss of that love had nearly destroyed her. It was a mistake that she didn't intend to repeat.

Keenly aware of their intimate connection, she pressed her palms against his chest. He moaned as he pulled back and rolled onto his side.

“Sorry. I didn't mean to crush you.”

She didn't explain that his weight wasn't the problem. Once her amour had cooled, she'd pushed him away because she'd been uncomfortable with their intimacy.

“Are you okay? I'm sorry I hurt you.”

Embarrassed, she shook her head. “I'm fine. How about you?”

His response was to gather her close, kissing her temple. “I know I have no right to ask, but that doesn't stop me from wondering how long it has . . .”

Not about to answer, Jenna pressed her fingers against Scott's full lips as if she could hold back the question. “Let's leave the past right where it belongs.”

He sighed, then yawned. “Excuse me. You're right. We're making new memories.”

Vastly relieved at not having to answer his question, she relaxed against him, murmuring, “I'm exhausted. I don't know about you, but three nights of very little sleep have caught up to me.”

Unfortunately, she couldn't disarm her fears, or forget the broken promise, or the years of lonely nights, plus the numerous beautiful women in his life who had been captured for all time by the press. Naturally, her life had gone on after they'd parted. The one thing that hadn't changed was her core belief: She couldn't share her body with someone she didn't care about. And she'd never cared enough to let another man get that close to her, something she couldn't share with him.

His long fingers gently massaged her nape and her shoulders. “Sleep, sweet girl. Trust me to keep you safe for a few hours. Leave the worries to me. Okay?”

“Mm,” she murmured, covering a yawn.

If only life were that simple and problems that easily solved. He wasn't the same man she'd met and fallen in love with in college. He was sophisticated, worldly, and an accomplished lover. If she wasn't extremely cautious, she could find herself falling in love with him all over again.

How exactly could she stop that from happening? She already cared more than she could comfortably admit. How else had she ended up in bed with him? She'd turned her carefully constructed world upside down when she'd let him make love to her. Now what? Pretend it didn't change anything? Better yet, pretend it hadn't happened?

“Can't sleep?” he asked, pressing a slow, drugging kiss against her swollen lips.

Suddenly trembling with renewed desire, she kissed him back. She was giving and receiving tongue-stroking kisses.

“Again?”

“Again . . .” he growled deep in his throat.

T
he sun was high in the sky before either one of them got any sleep.

“Wake up, sweet thing. We have to get moving if we want to stop by your sister's on our way to the airport.”

Jenna jumped at the sound of Scott's voice. She issued a weary moan. Resting on her stomach, she hugged the pillow.

“I'm sorry, babe. I didn't mean to scare you.” He smoothed her thick waves. “You do want to see Leah again, don't you?”

Jenna would have liked to pull the pillow over her head and shut the world out. Instead she said, “If I ask nicely, will you go away and let me sleep?”

Scott's response was a deep, throaty chuckle. “I could call and change our flight until this evening, but we will get in very late.”

“No, don't do that. That will only make it worse. After a good night's sleep, I can manage work and my classes tomorrow.” Using the sheet to cover her nudity, she rolled onto her back and sat up. “How come you're so wide awake?”

“Hot shower and two cups of coffee.” He handed her a hot mug.

Jenna sipped, murmuring her appreciation. “Thank you.”

“Better?”

“Much.” Finally able to open her eyes, she was disturbed by what she saw.

He looked so good with a towel wrapped low on his taut hips, barely covering the prominent ridge of his sex and thick, powerful thighs. His dark chest rippled with muscles.

She was suddenly conscious of her tousled hair, kiss-swollen lips, sensitive breasts, and sore femininity due to his thorough lovemaking.

Flushed with embarrassment as she recalled what they'd done together, she found she couldn't meet his gaze. She'd acted like a kid in a candy shop. One taste had been all it took to have her hungry for more. If she didn't watch her step, she would be reaching for him yet again. Goodness! Giving in to cravings, especially one that was bad for her peace of mind, was a weakness she couldn't afford.

After a few more sips of coffee, she pointed to his white dress shirt draped along with her dress and underthings on the armchair.

“Mind if I borrow your shirt?”

He grabbed the shirt and held it for her.

She hurried into it, overlapping the front. Once she was decently covered, she grabbed her things, promising she wouldn't be long. She dashed into the other bedroom.

They were in the limousine on the way to her sister's place when Scott asked, “Are you still angry with John?”

Jenna shrugged. “Wasted energy. He is what he is. I just hope Lenna—uh, I mean, Leah—takes a hard look at him before he disappoints her.” She sighed. “What a weekend. It's almost gone. And I have to leave my sister behind.”

Scott gave her hand a squeeze. “What's important was that you finally found her. Right?”

She smiled. “Thanks for the reminder. It's going to be so hard saying good-bye.”

That proved to be an understatement. Jenna was close to tears when she hugged her twin for the last time. She clung to the promise that Leah would be coming to Detroit for the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday weekend.

Fourteen

A
brooding and silent Scott studied Jenna as she napped on the flight back to the Motor City. She was incredibly beautiful both inside and out. Her ease on the eyes wasn't the issue, though. If only she was as easy to figure out as one of the chemical compounds he routinely worked with in the lab. Science was basic, simple systematized knowledge that came from study and observation. The most complicated chemical formulas and theories he thrived on didn't even compare to the challenge of trying to understand the intricacies of the female mind.

He still couldn't believe she had made love to him last night. He'd really tried to hold back, had tried not to rush her, and he'd failed miserably. Although ashamed of his weakness, he couldn't deny the deep satisfaction that came from their loving. It had eased some of the heartache of living without her for so many years. Having her back in his arms had also shown him how deeply he still loved her.

A great deal had changed over the years they'd been apart, yet his feelings for her had remained constant. He loved her, and because he loved, he knew what had been missing in the wee hours of the morning as they'd made love.

Jenna might have given her body, but she'd closed off her heart. Whenever he'd brought up their lovemaking, she'd changed the subject. She was acting as if nothing had changed between them. He was left wondering if she regretted what they'd shared.

Was that the problem? Was that why she had been so distant? Did she wish she hadn't given in to their passion? The thought really grated on him, so much so that it left him feeling hurt and disappointed.

It was pointless to recall the sweet magic of having her back in his arms, his body deep within hers. Yet he could think of nothing else. Nor was it beneficial to remember how unbelievably tight she'd been and that he'd hurt her because of it. He was no doctor, but he suspected it had been a long dry spell. How long and how dry was the question he wanted answered. He couldn't stop wondering why she'd done without for so long. Why him and why now?

He shook his head, wishful thinking. He couldn't blame her if she had been with a dozen men. They'd been separated for more than a decade. It was none of his damned business.

“What now?” he muttered, shifting restlessly. Should he keep silent? Or should he confront her and hope for an explanation? And then do what? He couldn't make her forgive him. Nor could he demand she take him back. Life didn't work that way.

He could only hope that given time, seeing each other and spending time together would . . . what? Cause her to fall in love with him all over again? Well, that was unlikely. They were still playing the blame game. She needed a lot more time. Maybe then she would realize that all wasn't lost?

He assured himself that he wasn't completely off the mark. She cared enough about him to let him make love to her. More than once. That had to mean something. Unfortunately, beyond the obvious, he wasn't sure what it meant.

One thing was certain. He would accomplish nothing if he wimped out and gave up. Absently fingering the championship ring on his right hand, he silently vowed he wasn't about to give up on her or them. If there was another way, he'd just have to find it. In the meantime, he would keep on doing what he did best: loving her. Jenna would wear his ring . . . one day.

A
fter punching in the code to disengage the house alarm, Jenna was forced to cover yet another yawn. “Excuse me. After that nap I had on the plane, you'd think I'd be all caught up.”

“Evidently not,” Scott smiled.

“What are you doing?” she asked, watching as he went through the house.

Emerging from the kitchen, he walked down the hall that led to the bedrooms. “Just checking to make sure everything is fine. Doesn't hurt to be cautious,” he said when he returned to the foyer.

Jenna wasn't surprised when he pulled her against him, but she certainly hadn't been expecting it. But then the entire weekend had been one new experience after another, from the private plane to a topless nightclub. Then she'd gone and slept with Scott. What had she been thinking? That was the problem. She had not been.

“Scott, we shouldn't—”

“Shouldn't what? Talk about what happened after we went back to the hotel?”

“What purpose would it serve? We were caught up in the moment and made love.”

Scott pressed a kiss against the sensitive place on the side of her neck, sending shivers up and down her spine. “I have no regrets, sweetheart. I missed you, and I want you back in my life. Regret won't change what we shared.”

As she looked at him, she realized everything he said was true. She had missed him. And she'd welcomed his lovemaking. Regrets? Wasn't that what she'd been doing?

“You're right. Regrets are a waste of time,” she said thoughtfully. “Things aren't the same. We're two different people. We shouldn't expect it to be the same. This time we both know what we want, what to expect.”

They weren't in love, as they had been back when they'd been living together. They weren't working toward a shared future. There would be no high expectations, no romantic fantasy. Jenna wasn't the young girl with her head in the clouds and mostly in love with love.

Despite the strides she'd made over the years, she'd slept with him during a time of weakness. Last night she'd given in to the craving for his lovemaking. So what? She was human.

“Mmm,” he moaned deep in his throat as he gave her a tongue-stroking kiss. “If you ask, I'll stay the night.”

Trembling with desire, Jenna hedged, “It's late. We're both tired and have a busy day ahead of us.”

“What are you doing tomorrow night?”

“Picking out paint for the spare bedrooms? Why? Are you offering to help?”

He chuckled, “Why not? If I volunteer, it will save you the trouble of climbing a ladder. I'll see you around seven.”

Walking with him to the door, she said, “You've got a deal. I can't thank you enough for all you've done this week, especially going with me to find my sister.”

“You're welcome.” Briefly touching her cheek with his, he whispered, “Sleep well.”

“Good night.” She waved, then locked the door behind him.

Frowning, she had no business being disappointed at not letting him stay. They both needed time to regroup and sort out what had happened. She didn't like feeling as if she'd rushed headfirst into something without giving it proper thought before acting.

For so long, she'd concentrated on protecting her heart and keeping her emotions under control. She'd been careful not to repeat past mistakes. And then she'd gone to bed with Scott.

“There's no point in beating myself up about it. It's over!” she chided herself aloud. Grabbing her bags, she headed for her bedroom.

Unfortunately, unpacking, sorting through laundry, and getting ready for bed weren't enough to take her mind off Scott and what they'd shared. Searching for a diversion, Jenna put in a three-way call to Laura and Sherri Ann. She told them about finding her sister. When she found herself admitting that she'd temporarily lost her mind and slept with Scott, they were not surprised. Her best friends had predicted it and hadn't told her. By the time she got off the telephone, she felt as if the weekend was finally over. She'd put it behind her and moved on.

Her siblings were coming for Thanksgiving. Soon her family would be together. Jenna couldn't stop grinning. There was quite a bit left to do to get the house ready for company. She was looking forward to the work. It would be the final step in making the dream of having her family together come true. She wouldn't let anything come before that, not even her libido.

T
en days later, Jenna had nearly finished the guest bedrooms. She looked around the largest room, trying to examine the results with critical eyes. The late afternoon sun provided little warmth, but it brightened the room by bouncing off the forest green-accented wall, where the queen-size bed had been positioned. The other walls were painted apple green. The bed had been dressed in crisp white sheets and covered with a deep green comforter.

She hadn't been able to afford covering the padded headboard in cream leather, like she'd seen on one of her favorite home decorating shows. So, armed with her staple gun, foam padding, and a precut plywood headboard, she'd settled for covering it in a yellow and green floral poly-cotton pattern fabric she'd found marked down in the fabric store. She'd sewn a matching valance and trimmed the white curtains. And she'd made three accent pillows in the same floral fabric.

As she smoothed the pillows, she decided the room had turned out well, despite her limited budget. She admired the round table she'd found on a curb years ago that she'd stripped, sanded, and stained in a rich mahogany. The finishing touches pulling it all together were the cream ceramic lamps with white shades and a yellow Queen Anne chair she'd found on sale in a home decorating store.

Jenna walked across the hall to the small bedroom. It had been painted cream. The double bed had been dressed in crisp white sheets, and a cranberry-and-white comforter covered the bed. She'd bought the oak headboard and night table from a hotel liquidation store. The cream curtains were topped with the matching cranberry valance. The small armchair's seat and back cushions, upholstered in ivory damask, had been Jenna's first upholstery project. She'd taken the class as an undergrad.

Jenna liked the way the rooms had turned out despite her financial limitations. And she hoped her siblings would be comfortable with what she'd created in such a short time.

Sighing, she preferred not to think of the man who'd volunteered to paint the rooms for her, leaving her free to sew and search for what she needed to complete the project.

She was pleased that she hadn't repeated the mistake she'd made in Las Vegas. She'd kept Scott out of her bed and away from her vulnerable heart. He hadn't been thrilled, but he hadn't pressured her to change her mind.

The stack of term papers waiting to be read and evaluated forced Jenna into her small home office that held her oak desk and comfortable black desk chair. The wall across from her desk was lined with two floor-to-ceiling bookshelves, brimming with books about economics, home decorating, and business, as well as a wide selection of novels. The small purple sofa bed that she'd had since her undergraduate days was tucked beneath two small windows covered by wooden blinds. They provided the only source of natural light.

Switching on the desktop lamp, Jenna ignored her hunger pains and settled in to concentrate on the work. She'd had a late lunch, so dinner would have to wait. When the telephone rang a few minutes before nine o'clock, she stretched, arching her back and raising her arms over her head.

Some of her students' views on why the economy was important to the masses were limited, to say the least. What annoyed her was that most of the information they'd collected on John Nash, the brilliant mathematician and Nobel Prize winner in economics, had been obtained from the Internet or the Hollywood version of his life.

Removing her reading glasses, she reached for the cordless telephone. A quick glance at the caller ID had her saying with delight, “Hi, Leah. What a nice surprise. I was grading term papers and could use a break. Did you get the check I sent for your ticket?” Not waiting for a response, she rushed ahead with, “Have you called the airlines?”

“Not exactly. I've got some bad news.” Leah paused before she went on to explain why she wasn't coming to Detroit for the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday.

A
healthy dose of frustration, combined with disappointment, had Scott debating the wisdom of stopping at Jenna's tonight. Instead of approaching the front door, he sat brooding in the car.

Jenna had done an outstanding job of keeping him at a distance since they'd returned from Las Vegas. She'd gotten so good at pretending their night together hadn't taken place that she almost had him convinced. The big question was why. Frustrated, he pounded a fist against the padded console.

She said she had no regrets, but she didn't act that way. He was lucky if he got a kiss. Was she trying to drive him out of his mind? Or was she merely trying to drive him out of her life? Perhaps she was waiting for him to give up and walk away?

“Well, I'm no quitter,” he snapped. He realized his hands were unsteady when he tugged on a snug knit hat.

She couldn't change what had happened. They'd made love until the sun had been high in the sky. It had been good for the both of them. No, more like a slice of heaven that he badly wanted to repeat.

Grabbing a large bag of take-out food from the floorboard behind the driver's seat, he slammed the door and activated the power locks. His long legs quickly eliminated the distance to the front porch. Ms. Gaines was about to discover that she could run, but no matter how fast she moved, she couldn't outdistance his determination to win back her heart. Love didn't stop just because it was inconvenient or deemed no longer necessary.

B
rushing impatiently at her tears, Jenna reluctantly went to answer the doorbell. She didn't need the porch light to recognize Scott.