Can't Go Home (Oasis Waterfall) (18 page)

Dre tucks my hair behind my ear, and then moves his hand to the back of my neck, pulling me in closer. Resting his forehead against mine, looking up into my eyes, he says, “I don’t really know what I’m saying. I’m a goddamn nut case. I want to tell you to fucking run—run far the fuck away. But just thinking about you walking away makes me wanna kill someone.”

“Dre, I don’t know what this is. What we are or anything,” I respond. “Right now, I don’t really care either. I had fun last night—a lot of freaking fun. I’m fine with ‘whatever’ for a while.” He smiles, closing his eyes, and sighing with relief.

“But listen to me, if this starts going somewhere—beyond the bedroom, I mean like between the two of us, then I won’t stand around in the dark, not knowing who the person is that I’m making love to,” I say, taking my hat back from him. “You’re gonna have to start talking … like telling me you’re almost a doctor, for starters.” I explain.

“I know, Kathryn, I know,” he agrees, nodding. Putting his head in his hands, with his elbows resting on his knees, Dre says, “I’ve done things, and I’ve been someone I’m not proud of—never really was. I’m just trying to sort all of it out.” Dre stretches out his legs and stares out toward the ocean. “I wanted to fix my life. And I started to. I started becoming someone I can actually look at in the mirror.”

“Dre,” I say, making him look at me. “We all have pasts; we’ve all let ourselves down, disappointed the person we thought we’d become,” I say. “Maybe more times than we’d like to even admit.” Dre nods, his face pained.

Dre stares off, listening, but not looking at me. I continue, “The fact that you even recognize that there are parts of you that you want to change makes you worthy of your own reflection. You can look in that mirror, Dre. Seriously, you’ll probably be proud of who you see. I know, I’m starting to like what I see,” I joke, nudging against him.

I lean closer to him, putting my head on his shoulder, as he wraps an arm around me. I’m feeling all preachy, but there are things I feel like I can or should say to him. “Dre, listen, too many people make mistake after mistake, never learning anything. They refuse to recognize that their flaws and pains are self-inflicted and avoidable. You just have to figure it all out.”

“I was counting on figuring it all out,” Dre admits, kissing my hand and holding it against his cheek. “I just didn’t count on meeting someone who makes it all worthwhile.” I take the compliment, feel the compliment, and let it wash over me, feeling my body warm to the words. He’s trying; he’s feeling—something for me. I lean in, kissing him lightly on the lips.

“I think you’re pretty worthwhile too,” I grin, as I pull back.

“So now what? What do we do from here?” he asks.

“Well, based on what I see over there,” I nod in the direction of Rory and Sydney. “We get back over there and cool them down before they both get arrested for indecent exposure.” I stand, laughing, offering my hand to help him up. Dre yanks me abruptly back down onto the sand, swiftly maneuvering his body over mine, pinning me down.

“Or … we could just follow their lead,” he says, nuzzling my ear and neck.

“Mmmmm, I would like that,” I moan as his tongue trails along my lower lip. “But I told you how much I hate public—”

“Displays of affection, I know,” Dre says, hiking my sandy leg up around his waist. “That doesn’t stop me from wanting to please the fuck out of you right here on this very public beach.”

Dre grinds into me. I can feel how hard he is. Even after his lie of omission, his crazy outburst, and tirade, I still want him; my body wants him. My body responds to his touch, his voice, his everything. There is no way my body will ever listen to my brain when it comes to Dre Donley. Kissing him, touching him, tasting him turns my brain to mush. I can’t think straight when his hands are on me, his lips exploring mine.

“It doesn’t stop me from
wanting
to … but it’ll stop me from doing so,” Dre explains, backing up off me, onto his knees. Dre leans in and kisses me softly on the lips. “For now, anyway.”

As he helps me up, I say, “I hope there are more sandwiches; you sure know how to whet my appetite.”

“Croissants aren’t gonna cure that appetite,” Dre states.

“Well, something better,” I joke, looping my arm through the crook of his.

Closing in on Sydney and Rory, they cease their public exploration of one another’s bodies long enough to tell us that they’re leaving and going back to the hotel. Shocking news there.

Rory tosses his keys to Dre, “Drive this back for me, would ya buddy?” And Rory takes off with Sydney.

“Well that certainly didn’t take long,” I laugh. “I just hope ‘Ivy’ doesn’t try to recruit Rory for her next film.”

“Oh fuck, that’s all I need. The guy’s hung like a horse. Can you imagine what that thing would be like on the big screen? Christ, I don’t even wanna think about it.” Dre looks over at me as I’m pretending to stare off, thinking about Rory and licking my lips. “Oh Hell no, stop thinking about my boy’s junk,” he commands, picking me up, and throwing me over his shoulder.

“You’re the one who brought up your brofriend’s genitalia. It’s obvious what
you
were thinking about,” I tease. “Is there something I should know, Dre?”

“Yeah that I’m 100% straight and 110% into you … and about five minutes from being
in
you,” he explains, walking up to the dunes.

Still carrying me, Dre walks in the high grassy area in the dunes, throwing a blanket onto the ground. “Will this
do
for some
private
displays of affection?”

“I’m not sure. Will I do since I’m not ‘hung like a horse?’ We could call Rory back if you want,” I joke, smirking at him, as he lays me down.

Lying down next to me, Dre trails his finger along the collar of my t-shirt and then glides it down over my breast. My nipple hardens at his touch. “No Pebbles, you are certainly all that I want … and certainly all woman.” Dre leans his head down and licks my nipple through my shirt, tugging it slightly with his teeth.

“I can’t believe you just put your mouth on this used, dirty shirt,” I remind him, giggling.

“You’re not killing this mood,” he scolds, continuing.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” I say, staring at him.

“Nothing could keep my mouth and hands off of you, Pebbles,” Dre says.

“I really like when you say stuff like that,” I confess.

“What else do you like?” he questions, tugging gently on my nipple.

“Mmmmm, that,” I say.

Dre glances up at me, smiling. “You really like watching, don’t you, Baby?” I nod, feeling my face redden. “I love hearing what you like. It’s so hot. Tell me more.”

I shake my head, suddenly feeling nervous and vulnerable. “I just … I just like what you do to me.”

I have fantasies, many of them unfulfilled. I like to hear a man talk dirty to me, using sexy and even raunchy words, but using them myself feels off, odd, out-of-place. Dre excites me so much, arouses the very center of my sexual being. I want to be able to say and do anything with him. I just feel “naked” saying them.

Tracing my nipple with his fingers, he whispers in my ear, “We’ll do it together, watch together.” Dre flicks his tongue in my ear. “Do you want to do this with me?”

I do. I want to do everything with him—even what embarrasses and inhibits me. I want him to open me, fulfill all of my fantasies, one-by-one. “Yes Dre,” I moan.

“Keep watching and talking then, Kathryn,” he says as he lifts my shirt over my head. “Watch my every move and tell me what you like and how you like it.”

Dre kisses his way down my neck, while rubbing my nipple with the rough part of his palm. It ignites me, sending heat throughout my entire body. I can’t take my eyes off of him.

“Are you watching?” Dre asks, staring at me through heavy, hooded eyes.

“Yes,” I say, barely audible.

“Kathryn, talk to me,” he commands. “Do you like it?”

“Mmmm, yes Dre.”

“Yes, Dre what? What do you like?” he asks, taking my nipple into his mouth.

“I like it when you put your mouth on me,” I moan. Dre tugs and nibbles more on my nipple. “God, yes.”

“My mouth where?” Dre asks, while still pleasuring my nipple.

“I like when you lick and bite my nipples,” I groan, feeling my body’s heat skyrocket. The forbidden words feel freeing on my lips.

Dre moans against my breast, kneading and licking them together. “God, you’re so sexy. Everything. Your body, your words, everything.” Dre’s breathing increases as he works his way further down my stomach. “Watch me Kathryn, don’t take your eyes off me.”

Unbuttoning my pants, he stares at my body, his eyes dark and hungry. After he takes off my pants, Dre takes my hand and kisses my palm and sucks each of my fingers into his mouth, his eyes never leaving mine. I’ve never felt this level of want before. I’ve surpassed desire; Dre has become a need. Dre places my hand on my breast. “Show me what you like.”

I nod. “Don’t stop,” I say, spreading my legs further as I caress my own breast. “Keep going.”

“You can count on it,” Dre says, smiling as his fingers discover that the center of my arousal is ready for him. Beyond ready. He growls when his fingers enter me. My eyes flutter as his fingers flick over me. “Open your eyes, Pebbles. You don’t want to miss this.”

I lean up on my elbows, so I can stare into his eyes as he leans over and tastes me, using his tongue for my pleasure. It’s erotic and sensual, liberating and hot. Dre increases his pace as I move my hips to meet his rhythm—never taking my eyes from his. It’s perfect, purse bliss. Our connection is strong; my pleasure is building, yearning, needing. Abruptly, he stops, moving away from me.

“You’re not talking,” Dre says, grinning.

“Oh Dre … no … don’t stop,” I plead, rubbing my legs together.

“Kathryn, what do you want me to do?” he asks. I shake my head. Dre massages my legs, working his way back up my thighs. “You have to tell me what you want. I need to know what makes you … you … hot.” Dre’s fingers travel back into me. “Talk to me.”

I whimper with pleasure, coupled with fear. “You. You make me hot Dre. Everything you do,” I reply in sync to his finger’s movements. “Every way you touch me. It ignites me,” I say.

Dre stops, hands motionless, and says, “I only move when you talk.”

I groan, and say, “You make me feel things I’ve never dreamed of feeling before,” I admit, breathy and full of urgency. Dre’s mouth replaces his fingers. His tongue is intense pleasure, intimate and pure. “Like right now, I hate that every part of you isn’t touching me or inside of me,” I plead. Dre increases his pace, sending my body to the edge. “So please, please Dre. I can’t take anymore,” I beg, as I finally cry out with release. My body convulses in spasms that want him, need him.

“Oh fuck, Baby; that was intense,” Dre says, grabbing his shorts and rummaging through his pockets. Finding a condom in his wallet, he expertly rips it open and slides it down over himself.

“Well, you’re certainly getting your game back,” I tease.

“This game’s win-win,” he says, unbuttoning his pants. Dre’s hard, ready and reaching for me. I pull him down onto me; I need to feel him inside of me. “God, you’re so fucking sexy,” he groans into my ear, as he enters me. My breath catches as he looks into my eyes. “So fucking incredible,” he breathes, as we lie motionless, together, staring at one another.

Slowly, I begin to rock, while his eyes are still locked on mine. “Incredible,” I echo, grabbing his arms, lifting up toward him. Dre’s movements match and surpass my own. “Harder,” I beg, thrusting against him, rocking to meet him. He wraps my legs around his waist and lifts his chest off of me. Staring down at me, his movements and speed increase; I meet him, push against him, rock harder, pulling him further into me until he cries out in pleasure, his body melding into mine.

I want to fucking destroy Rory. Mother fucker. First, he gives me Piper’s letter in front of Kathryn. Then, he mentions Brown. Christ, I wanted to kill him, still do. He knows; he fucking knows how important Kathryn’s becoming to me. I tell him everything—apparently too goddamn much. I can’t believe she didn’t try prying anything out of me. Kathryn was calm, collected, and patient. Man, I’ve never known a woman with those qualities before. Fucking A, she’s perfect.

Kathryn-Katie-McVay-Howell-Nerd-Loving-Pebbles is perfection. Alert the presses, stamp and seal it, write it in the sky, I’m falling for her. I’m trying not to, but she’s too damn irresistible. She’s everything I’ve ever wanted in a woman, and she’s everything I didn’t know I wanted either. Hell, if I could tell her the truth and come clean about everything, and she still wanted me, then I’d marry her tomorrow. Women like Kathryn Howell don’t come around very often and if they do, then you certainly don’t let a gift like that slip through your fingers.

I’m going to tell her everything tonight; I have to. Otherwise, I’m going to get too far into this and pussy out. Right now, I know it’s going to crush me if she can’t handle the truth. If she wants out, wants to walk away, I’ll be gut-fucked. But I suppose it’s better to know now, than it would be to wait until I’m too far in over my head.