Can't Let Go (4 page)

She filled with dismay, assuming it was going to be Ingrid, demanding that Abby return to her office so that she could complain even more about something that Abby had prepared for her.  It wouldn’t be the first time, and based on the way the day was going, it would be entirely fitting.  “Rumor magazine—you’ve reached—”
  She
answered, holding the phone to her ear.  The person on the other end didn’t give her the chance to finish before speaking.

“Hi, I’m look for Abigail Lewis.”  The voice was familiar.

“This is,”
  Abby
responded, a smile forming at her lips.

“No, no.  I’m not looking for Abigail the editor.  I’m looking for Abigail the aunt.”  Hayley’s voice immediately calmed her nerves, an effect her friend had always been able to have on her. 

“Abigail
the who
?”  Abby asked, the room quieting around her as she concentrated on Hayley’s voice, needing to make certain she’d heard her friend clearly. 

“I
said
,”
  Hayley
replied.  “I’m looking for Abigail the aunt.” 

“Are you saying—”
  Abby
already felt her mood brightening, even at the prospect. 

“I’m pregnant!”  The woman squealed, and Abby couldn’t refrain from joining her—she didn’t care about causing a scene. 

“Oh my god,
Hayl
!”
  She breathed, forgetting all about the headache and the tasks her boss had given her, and now concentrating solely on the voice on the other end of the phone.  “You’re sure?”

“I just went to the doctor this morning.”  Happiness flooded through Abby.  Hayley had been trying to get pregnant for the last year—and
finally
, it had happened.   

“Have you told Blake yet?” 

“Not yet.  But I’m totally surprising him with a baby-themed picnic for a late lunch.”  Hayley sounded so excited—and the feeling was contagious.  Abby could hardly contain herself.  Hayley had wanted this for so long,

“Isn’t it cold?”  Abby asked.  Her friends had moved to Kentucky once Blake had finished medical school where he’d taken a job at a small private practice with a few people he’d gone to school back east with.  Hayley laughed and Abby pictured her shaking her head, maybe even rolling her eyes.  Abby was pretty much clueless about what the weather was like anywhere that wasn’t on a coast—and, from what she remembered, this time of year on the East coast was still a little on the chilly side.

“No—it’s actually pretty nice.”  Abby had only been to visit a very few number of times since they’d moved and had yet to get used to the weather.  Well, that was certainly going to change now that a baby was on the way.  Abby could only imagine how adorable Hayley and Blake’s child was going to be.  “Spring starts a little earlier here than it does back in Boston.” 

“Good—you can’t go getting yourself sick, now that you’ve got a little bun in the oven.”  Abby grinned happily as she leaned forward, resting her head on her hand.  “He’s going to be so happy,
Hayl
.”  Abby saw Blake’s smiling face in her mind.

“I certainly hope
so,
otherwise we’ve been trying all this time for nothing!”  Hayley laughed and Abby smiled, imagining her friend’s smile.  “I’m so excited, Abby.”

“I am too,”
  she
reached out and touched the edge of the framed photo she’d looked at earlier, suddenly longing to be near her.  “You guys are going to be such good parents.” 

“And you’re going to be the best aunt the world’s ever seen.”  Abby laughed, nodding her head though her friend couldn’t see her.  “Hey—and if you can hold off the wedding for a couple more years, you’ll have yourself an adorable little flower girl.”

“Or ring bearer,”
  Abby
corrected, smiling.  The mention of her pending marriage brought her back to reality and she withdrew her fingers from the frame. 

“Or you could just call the whole thing off and track down a certain soon-to-be-uncle—”

“Let’s not get into this again,”
  Abby
said, shaking her head.  Hayley had made clear for quite some time the way she felt about Abby’s wedding.  Ever since Eric, Abby’s fiancé, had proposed, Hayley had been certain to remind Abby of the future she had nearly had.  “That was a long time ago,
Hayl
.  Let’s let it stay there.”

“You know just as well as I do that you’ve thought about it.” 

“Of course I have.  But that’s a situation full of
what-if’s
. 
Eric and I—that’s reality.”
  She sighed, subconsciously touching her fingers to her temples once more.  “Just like you and Blake. 
And the little one on the way.”

“I’m sure you could make a new reality, Abigail Lewis.”  When Abby said nothing, Hayley sighed, signaling that she was dropping the subject.  Abby was happy that her friend was so distracted—otherwise, this could have turned into a much deeper conversation.  “This is probably the happiest day of my life,
Abbs
.  I can’t wait to tell Blake.”

“You’ll call me tonight to tell me how it goes?”  Abby wished she could be there with her friend.  This was such a big deal—such a big moment in her life.  This was something she was
supposed
to be there for.

“You know I will—he’s going to be so excited.”

“Tell him I send my love and congratulations.”  Abby knew the conversation was coming to an end and she was suddenly reminded of the day she had ahead of her.  But it didn’t matter now—none of it did.  She was going to be an aunt—Hayley and Blake were going to be parents.  Nothing could dampen the happiness she was feeling.

“I will,”
  Hayley
promised.  “I’ll talk to you tonight!”

“Love you,”
  Abby
told her.

“Love you too!”  And with that, she heard a click on the other end.  She held the phone in place for just a few moments longer, staring at the picture in front of her, letting the feeling settle. 

An image of an alternate future conjured in her mind for a moment—a future in which Logan had stayed, and the two of them had married and had started a life together, exactly as she had planned.  She saw herself with a little boy on her hip, with dark messy hair that matched his father’s.  The smile on her face was one she hadn’t had since the day the photo sitting on her desk had been taken—one of real, true happiness. 

But a moment later, the image dissolved and all that remained in her sight was the photo of
she
and her best friend, standing on a beach with the sun beginning to set behind them. 

Abby’s wedding day was going to be very different from the one that Hayley had, even though she had always imagined hers as much the same.  She and Hayley had always envisioned themselves having a double wedding, on the beach somewhere, with all of their loved ones gathered around.  Hayley had gotten pretty much exactly what she had wanted, but Abby’s was going to be far from it. 

She glanced down at the ring on her finger.  The diamond was large, catching the light and glimmering in all directions.  It was attached to a thin gold band—not at all what she’d asked for.  She knew it cost a fortune, far more elaborate than anything she’d ever wanted.  But her fiancé was more of a traditionalist.  He had insisted on it, asserting that his bride-to-be would have only the best. 

It had only been the start.  He’d insisted on a traditional church ceremony, though neither was exactly the religious sort, with an elegant reception afterward.  Everyone was to be invited—everyone within their social circle, even if they weren’t more than acquaintances.  It was the way things were done.

Eric Thompson came from the same background as both Hayley and Abigail.  He was someone Abby had met during graduate school—an attractive man, with his future
laid
out in front of him.  He knew where he was going—he had it all planned out. 

His goal was to some day become a partner at a well-to-do law firm, and he was well on his way.  As soon as he’d finished law school, he was swept up by one of the biggest firms in L.A, mostly due to his family connections.  They had been together for just over four years.

He absolutely loathed the fact that Abby worked for a gossip magazine and had been insisting since she’d started that she quit.  Perhaps that was part of the reason she’d hung on so long.  It was one of the few ways she could prove to herself that she still had a say in her own life. 

Because there were times when she just wasn’t sure.
  Sometimes, it felt like all she did was take orders—all she did was whatever everyone else wanted her to.

She longed for the days when she felt free.

Her eyes skimmed over the photo in the frame once more. 

But those days were long gone. 

~*~

Abby was one of the last people to leave, as usual.  She said her goodbyes to the cleaning crew, trying not to laugh as they purposely left messes for Ingrid to find.  She was abhorred even among the staff provided by the building owners. 

It was late—the sun was already going down.  She walked to her car, trying to ignore the slight chill in the air.  At least by now, traffic would have calmed down and she should have a fairly clear drive home. 

Eric would probably just be arriving himself. 

She decided she would stop and grab some take-out, so as to make things easy on the both of them.  As she made the drive back, she checked her cell phone, remembering that Hayley had promised to call.  She frowned slightly when she saw that she had no missed calls, wondering what could have taken her so long.  She was sure the two had gone out to celebrate, but it was getting pretty late in Kentucky.  She’d assumed Hayley would have called by now. 

As she got closer to her neighborhood, she stopped at a small Chinese restaurant and placed her order.  It didn’t take long to prepare, but while she waited, her mind wandered once again to her friend. 

The two had remained close throughout the years, despite living in different states.  They talked nearly every day.  After Hayley had married Blake, her parents had, as expected, cut her off and out of their lives.  She no longer existed to them, even though the pair had done well for themselves.

Hayley had become a teacher while Blake finished med school.  He came out of school relatively debt free, and the two had quickly been able to settle into their life.  It was nothing like the life Hayley had led before marrying him, but it was comfortable.  And they were happy, which really was all that mattered.

Hayley had often brought Logan up in the years that had passed since she’d last seen him.  Abby knew that he was doing well, which made her happy.  She’d never wanted anything bad to happen to him—she loved him too much for that.  She’d only wished that things had turned out differently for
them
. 

It wasn’t something she allowed herself to consider often though, because more often than not, it only led her down a path she couldn’t afford.

No, she had a life now. 
A life without Logan Sheppard.
  And she was better off.  If he hadn’t said it himself, he’d certainly made it clear.  She’d woken up the morning after Hayley’s wedding expecting to find Logan—but instead, all she’d found was a note. 

It was still painful to think about, and so she pushed it away, concentrating on the now short drive home.  She and Eric lived in a luxurious apartment in Beverly Hills, not all that far from where she grew up.  It was definitely a nice neighborhood, but she hardly noticed as she drove along.  As she pulled up, she noticed Eric wasn’t yet home and she sighed, turning off the ignition and making her way inside. 

Abby set about to eating her Chinese, kicking her shoes off at the door and spreading the items out on the kitchen counter.  She thought about going to change into something a little more comfortable than her business suit, but as her stomach grumbled, she decided against it and settled in to eat a few bites. 

She’d just gotten the idea to check the voicemail to see if maybe Hayley had called their apartment rather than her cell phone by accident when she heard the door open.  “Abigail?” 
he
called.

“In the kitchen—I brought home Chinese.”  Eric entered the kitchen a moment later, dressed impeccably in a perfectly tailored suit.  He offered a smile as he passed by her, grabbing up his carton of Chinese and diving in.  “How was work?”  She asked, deciding to hold off on checking the voicemail for a moment. 

“This Jacobs case is killing me.”  He said in between bites.  “Today’s deposition didn’t even finish—we’ve got to call the guy back in tomorrow.” 

“Sounds rough,”
  Abby
said, leaning back against the table as she continued to eat. 

“But the partners are really taking notice of my work—so we’ll see what comes of it.”  Abby nodded, waiting for him to question her about her day.  After a few minutes had passed, he still hadn’t said anything more.  She sighed.

“I talked to Hayley today.”

“Don’t you talk to Hayley every day?”  Eric was not Hayley’s biggest fan, if only because the rest of their circle thought poorly of her. 

“Today was a special day.”  She said, remembering the flood of happiness she’d felt when she received the news.  “She’s pregnant.”

“Well, congratulations to Hayley.”  The two of them had spoken about children many times throughout their relationship.  It was something Eric wanted to put off for a few years, while Abby was ready to start a family right away. 

“She was really happy, Eric.”  Eric sighed, setting his carton on the counter and wiping at his mouth with a napkin. 

“I’ve never said I don’t want to have children, Abigail.”

“Sometimes it seems that way.”  No matter how many times Eric told her that he wanted to have a family, she found it impossible to believe him.  He was always so focused on his career—sometimes she wasn’t even sure he wanted
her
.

“I just don’t think having them right away is a wise choice.”  He relaxed against the counter.  “Even Hayley and Blake waited.”

“They waited until they were financially stable.  We don’t have that to worry about.”  With both of them working steady jobs, she had a point.  She could even stop working and they would still be able to live a very comfortable life.