Can't Let You Go: A Wheeler Brothers Novel (16 page)

"Take a guess." I grab a glass and pour myself some beer from the pitcher on the table.

"Rita." Jake says, scooping up some peanuts from the bowl and popping them in his mouth. "What'd she do now?"

"Showed up at Jen's work, drunk and claiming some guy hit her."

"What do you mean 'claiming'?" Nash asks. "She made it up?"

I shrug. "Who knows? It's Rita. You know how much she lies." I decide not to tell them about Rita's latest scheme. I'd trust my brothers to keep a secret, but not Callie. She'd run and tell Jen and I don't want Jen to know yet. The girl deserves a week off from her mom's drama. She deserves more than a week, but that won't happen unless she moves.

"Why would she lie about that?" Ivy asks.

"To make Jen feel sorry for her," Jake says, putting his arm up along the back of Ivy's chair. "Rita does shit like that all the time." He looks at me. "So what'd you have to do?"

"Pick her up at the restaurant and take her home. Half hour there and back. That's why I'm late. What time does the band start up again?"

"Five or ten minutes," Nash says.

Austin makes his way over to us with two girls following behind. He gives us a look that says he wishes they'd go away, but it's clear they're not going anywhere.

"You made it," he says to me.

"Yeah. Sorry I was late."

"No problem. Is Jen coming?"

"No. She had to work."

"You guys sounded great," Callie says to Austin.

"Awesome job." Nash fist bumps him. "I like the new songs."

"Oh yeah?" He smiles. "I helped write that last one."

"Austin." Jake nods at the girls behind him. "I think they're waiting for something."

One of the girls is holding up a marker.

Austin turns back to them and the girl with the marker says, "Could you sign me?"

"Sure." He takes the marker and she shoves her shirt down, exposing her bra.

"Right there," she says, pointing to the part of her breast that's exposed.

He signs it, and then the other girl lifts her shirt and points to her tan, flat stomach. "Me too. Right here." She points to the area next to her navel ring.

He signs her stomach, then hands her the marker.

"Can we get a photo?" the girl asks. He poses for a photo, then they finally leave.

Jake chuckles. "I'm pretty sure you could've taken them both home tonight."

"Yeah, Dad would love that." Austin flips one of the chairs around and sits down.

Jake pours himself some more beer. "It's time for you to get your own place."

"I'm never home. Why pay rent if I'm never there?"

Jake, Nash, and I all give him a look.

"Yeah. Girls. I got it." He motions to the ones who just left. "But as you can see, I can get girls without having my own apartment."

"Maybe," Jake says, "but you're not going to get a girlfriend. No girl wants to date a guy who still lives with his dad."

There's a noise from the mic and Austin turns back and sees his bandmates have returned from their break.

He gets up. "I gotta go. See you guys later."

The band starts up again, and although I'm listening to the music, my mind is also on Jen. I know she's upset right now because of what her mom did. I feel like I should go over there, but then later, after I leave the bar, I decide not to, and head home instead.

I'm back at my apartment around midnight, but can't sleep so I watch some TV. Around one-thirty, I finally go to bed. Just as I'm drifting off to sleep, my phone rings. Nobody calls this late except Jen or my brothers, and they only call if it's an emergency. I yank my phone off the nightstand and see that it's Jen.

"What's wrong?" I answer, my heart pounding.

"I'm sorry to call so late but there's something wrong with the heat in my apartment. I have it turned all the way up and it's still freezing in here. There's no warm air coming out of the vents. I left a message for my landlord but he won't get it until morning."

"I'll come get you." I flip on the light and get out of bed and go to the closet to get my jeans. "You can stay here tonight."

"Thanks, but you don't have to pick me up. I'll just drive over there. Are you sure it's okay?"

"Yeah, of course."

"Then I'll see you soon." She hangs up, then calls back a few minutes later. "This night just keeps getting worse."

"Why? What happened?"

"My car won't start. I think I have a dead battery."

"I'll be right over."

"I'm really sorry about this. If it wasn't so cold I would just—"

"Jen, don't worry about it. I'm getting dressed. I'll leave in a minute."

"Okay, thanks."

We hang up and I throw on a thermal shirt and a sweatshirt because it feels like the middle of winter outside. Even
I
was cold when I was out earlier, which means it's pretty damn cold. There's no way Jen can stay at her apartment if her heat isn't working. Before I leave, I turn the heat way up so it'll be nice and warm when she gets here.

When I get to her apartment building, it feels just as cold inside as it does outside. The heat for the whole building must be broken. I go upstairs to Jen's apartment and see a piece of paper taped to her door but the hallway's too dark to read it.

"Jen." I knock a few times. "It's me."

The door swings open and she's standing there, shivering, bundled up in my coat. It's so huge on her I can't even see her hands.

She looks down at it and says, "I forget to tell you I borrowed your coat."

"I see that." I chuckle. "It's a little big on you."

"Yeah, but it's keeping me warm. Come in."

I go inside and feel the frigid air. "It's so cold in here I can see my breath."

"I know." She's moving side to side to keep warm.

"This was on your door." I hand her the piece of paper.

As she reads it, her shoulders sink. "It's from the building manager. The heat is out for the whole building. They don't know when it'll be fixed, but they say it could be up to a week." She sighs. "Now I'm going to have to go stay with my mom."

I'd offer to have her stay with me if it was just for a day, but a whole week? Alone with her in my apartment? I have a feeling that would lead to us doing things that would go miles past the friendship line. The other night nearly killed me. Trying not to touch her while lying next to her in bed? And now I have to do it again. I don't have that kind of self control, at least not enough for a whole week with her.

"Let's get out of here," I say. "Did you pack a bag?"

"No. I thought they'd have the heat fixed by tomorrow."

"We'll just come back later and get your stuff. I need to get you out of here and warmed up. It's really freaking cold in here."

"I know. I was in bed with all my blankets on me and I was still freezing."

I open the door for her.

"Wait, let me grab a coat so you can have yours back." She goes to the closet and gets her coat, then hurries back to me. "Okay." She smiles at me, her cheeks pink from the cold, wearing my huge coat. She looks so damn sweet and cute that I just want to scoop her up in my arms and kiss her.

"You ready?" she asks, still smiling. I don't know how it's possible she could still smile after everything she's been through tonight. But she's always been that way. Always smiling, trying to stay positive.

"Go ahead." I wait for her to go out the door, then shut and lock it and we go down to my truck.

"I woke you up, didn't I?" she asks as we're driving back to my place.

"No. I was up. I couldn't sleep."

Because I was thinking about you. Worrying about you. Wondering if you were okay. And wishing you were in my bed.

Of course I don't actually tell her that.

"How was the band?" she asks.

"Good. They played some new songs. Austin was asking about you."

"I'll call him and tell him I'm sorry for missing it. I'll go to the next one."

"They're playing on Wednesday if you want to go."

"Are your brothers going?"

"Probably not, but you and I could go."

"Yeah. Let's do it. It's a date. I mean, not a date-date, but..." She laughs. "Never mind. You know what I mean."

She wants it to be a date, and I would too if the circumstances were different. But they're not. Our lives are headed down different paths and we both need to accept that. We just haven't yet.

I turn the heat on high. "You warming up at all?"

"Not yet." She shivers. "But I'm starting to."

"I cranked up the heat at my apartment so it should feel like a sauna by the time we get there."

"Bryce, you didn't have to do that. I know you like it cool when you sleep."

"But you like it warm."

"I know, but still, it's your place."

"And you're my guest. You've gotta treat your guests well or they won't come back and visit."

"I'll always come back and visit, even if I move away..." Her voice drifts off.

Panic fills me, stabbing at my chest. She's never said that before. She's never actually come out and said that she might be moving. I keep telling myself that's what I want and what's best for her, but when she actually came out and said it just now, it became a thousand times more real. Shit, I'm not ready for this. It's still a few months off, but even then, I don't think I'll be ready. My racing heart and uneasy stomach is making that very clear.

I reach over to hold her hand because I have to touch her. She may be gone soon, and until she is, I have to touch her, even if it's just her hand. But I can't find it.

"I think my coat ate your hand." I feel up and down the sleeve of it.

She laughs and yanks the sleeve up. "It's right here."

I take it and hold it in mine and rest it between us and keep it there until we get back to my apartment. It's another one of those things I shouldn't do, but shit, hearing her say she's leaving has got me forgetting all my rules about keeping my distance and makes me want to be with her, beside her, until the moment I have to tell her goodbye. Because I know that moment's coming. She's had it with her mom. I've pushed her away. She has no reason to stay.

But damn, I don't want her to go.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Jen

I did not expect to be spending yet another night at Bryce's apartment. In his bed. With him beside me. But here we are, just like the other night, only this time we're not drunk. I'm fully aware that his large, muscular, tattooed body is just inches away from mine, covered only by a thin pair of workout shorts. He only has one pair of pajama pants and he put them in the laundry, so tonight he had to wear shorts.

I'm wearing the long sleeve thermal he had on when he picked me up. It looked soft and cozy and was already warm from his body heat so I asked if I could wear it. But now his manly scent is all over me, arousing me, making me want to do things I shouldn't.

"You warm yet?" Bryce asks.

"Not quite. I still have a chill." It's not really true. I feel fine, but I want an invitation to snuggle up to him, and I know I won't get it unless I say that I'm cold.

"Come on." He puts his arm up and I nestle against his side, my head on his shoulder, my arm draped over his chest.

This is what I want someday. To fall asleep next to the guy I love, tucked safely in his arms, feeling happy and content. I already have the first part. Bryce is the guy I love and I'll soon be falling asleep in his arms. But I'm not happy. Or content. Because I know this is only temporary.

As perfect as this feels right now, Bryce doesn't want this, and so I have to move on. And after the disaster with my mom tonight, I'm really thinking I need to leave Chicago. Get away from my mom and get a fresh start somewhere else. But what if I leave and something happens to her? What if some guy hits her again and next time it's worse?

"Bryce," I whisper. "Are you still awake?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"I'm worried about my mom. What if she goes out with that guy again? That guy who hit her?"

"She won't."

"But what if she does? I don't want her getting hurt again. When I saw that bruise, I was so scared for her. I'm
still
scared."

He lets out a heavy sigh, which I'm guessing means he doesn't want to talk about it. Not now. It's late, and he's tired, and he wants to go to sleep.

"Sorry. We can talk about it later. Goodnight."

"Jen."

"Yeah?" I look up at him.

He sighs again. "I have to tell you something."

"Go ahead."

"That bruise on your mom's face. It wasn't from some guy. She did it herself."

"What?" I sit up. "What are you talking about?"

"She tripped on a rug at her house and her face hit the wall. That's how she got the bruise."

"How do you know this?"

"She told me. When I dropped her off."

"Why would she tell you that?"

"She didn't mean to. I went in the house and almost tripped on the rug and that's when she said she'd done the same thing, except that she actually tripped and ran into the wall. When I confronted her about it, she admitted that's how she got the bruise. And she wasn't drunk earlier. She was faking it."

"But...but why? Why would she do that?"

"Don't tell her I told you this, okay? She made me promise not to tell you."

"Yeah, okay. So what did she tell you? Why did she do it?"

"She wants you to stay. She wants you to think she's too out of control to be left alone. She thinks if she acts like this, you won't take a job somewhere else."

"I didn't know she was that upset about me leaving. She never acts like she even cares about me."

"Jen, I think it's more about...never mind."

I swallow past the lump in my throat that formed as soon as I realized what he was about to say. My mom wouldn't miss me if I left. She'd miss my money, and all that I do for her; running her errands, buying her groceries, picking her up from the bar when she's had too much to drink.

"So it was all an act," I say, sinking back down on the bed next to Bryce. "She almost got me fired."

"I'm sorry, Jen." His arm is around me and he holds me a little tighter.

"I'm just glad you told me." A tear slips down my cheek. "I was so worried some guy had hurt her."