Capcir Spring (25 page)

"Andre has been taken to hospital in Font Romeu, the nearest big town. He staggered back to camp after walking off alone to have a smoke. I was cooking and had seen him wander off to enjoy the evening. He staggered into the clearing in the last light of the day. His head was bleeding and then he collapsed unconscious. The previous wound had opened again and there were other bruises. One of the guys you warned us about must had bashed him from behind. Perhaps they both got him together. I suppose it was them as they seem to have disappeared from the camp, but that may only be coincidence. I took him to hospital in his car and saw them make him comfortable, but they are keeping him in overnight for observation. I suppose it is fairly normal with head injuries. At least that is what they told me."

"So I drove back here to tell you. And I didn't know exactly where your chalet was the taxi dropped me at the bottom of the hill. The lettings agency as closed so I started walking round the streets and streets of chalets but I couldn't see anything and the road twists back and forward along the contours then I saw your light. I think this must be the only chalet occupied. Oh it’s awful. Andre looked so pale and there was so much blood."

"Poor lad," said Mary and she went across to him and took him in her arms and gave him a big hug. He broke down then and there on her shoulder and sobbed with big sobs. As she hugged him close to her Mary realised that she had not thought of her own injuries and attack as he was talking about Andre. She knew that not so long ago that she could not think of blood or violence without feeling faint.

"I thought I had lost Andre"

John got out a bottle of Banuls, the local fortified wine and poured out a glass and gave it to Mark. He took a slow sip letting the warming liquid flow gently inside him. Almost as an after thought John poured out a glass for Mary and for himself. Mark continued,

"Andre and I had been hoping to move away from this area soon. We had finished with travellers. Andre had heard of a cottage in a village over the other side of the plateau that was for rent but I am now worried that after all the upset there will be so much to do here that our plans for the future will have been forgotten. The police had arrived at the hospital to interview him. Everything seems to be completely out of our hands just now. What will happen to us?"

"I've seen Andre in his professional work mode now and his true crusading passion has come out. I am afraid I cannot compete with that. I think I am just a minor distraction in his life compared to his love of these hills." Mark swallowed another gulp of the warming liquid and at the same time choked back a sob. But he recovered himself enough to let go of Mary.

Mary asked "How did Andre get the original gash on his head. He told me he had fallen but I didn't believe him, then and now more than ever I don't believe it. Has there been fist fighting before now?"

Mark replied "He told me at first that he had fallen too. But he can't keep secrets from me. I know him too well. Eventually when I kept on about it he admitted that he found Edouard's chief assistant with a spade mooching around the ruined chapel and he told him not to disturb the sacred site. Andre saw him go away and so he settled down in the ruins to meditate. When he meditates he can get lost in an inner world of his own and though he is aware of noises in the surroundings his consciousness is elsewhere. He guesses that the fellow must have crept up behind him and swung the spade down on his head. Of course when he came round, and he thinks that he was only out cold for a moment, there was no one to be seen. And his suspicions were not the sort to take to the police even if he trusted them which you know he doesn't, and there was little else he could do except be extra wary when ever he saw the man again. Perhaps he will tell this part of the story to the police now. But that is up to him."

Mark looked up at the clock on the wall. "I must go and get some sleep. I think there are likely to be fireworks tomorrow. The prefect and the commissioner of forests and senior people from the office of ancient monuments as well as the press will be turning up tomorrow with uncle Tom Cobbley and all I shouldn't wonder. There is nothing to do till then". He turned and made for the door, finishing the tail end of his fortified wine and putting the glass down as he passed.

"Are you are sure you are OK. There is a mattress here, you can kip down here if you want" suggested John, without thinking through the implications of his invitation. "or I could drive you back up to your bus," offered Mary.

"No ta, but thanks. Thanks for all your help, and thanks for listening to me go on. I like walking by night and its quicker on the paths from here than round by the road." he smiled, a youthful smile. Suddenly both John and Mary saw the real Mark. Very young and very out of his depth in a world where things were going on around him totally out of his control.

After he had left John and Mary sat in silence for a while sipping their Banuls. It was very warming and quite strong.

"Gemutlich" muttered John under his breath.

"Hmm?"

"A German word that encompasses all I feel at the moment. Comfortable, warm, well fed, in good company and generally all OK with the world."

"Much as these incidents have messed up things here I still like this area. In some ways I wish I could stay here.."

"It still has a magic I admit, but how far is that a result of the company we are now in rather that the geographical features of the locality?"

"You mean you and I?"

"What else?" He paused "But I don't know if it can really amount to anything. You and I are very different. We hardly know each other. We have been drawn together as two ex-patriots in a foreign land. We have both had a mixed past." He faded out not sure what to say next. He poured himself another generous helping of the warming liquor in to his glass and offered the bottle to Mary. She took it and poured herself an equally generous glassful.

"Us?" said Mary, getting used to the idea. "I don't know . I don't know what I feel. I don't know what I want in terms of relationships."

"I've never had to consider the possibility of a relationship before so this is new to me. I don't know what it entails. I don't know if I am really cut out for it. With Kate it was very different. We didn't really want a relationship. We just wanted part of each other and we gave and took without really spending time getting to know the other person that we were using. But I really like you. I like you a great deal. I have felt strong feelings of affection for you. I suppose what I am trying to say but don't really know how is that I love you." He trailed off feeling strangely self-conscious. Did he sound pompous or unnatural saying these things because they felt unnatural to him?

"Mary, are we just chasing dreams. Where could we go? What could we do? A pleasant dream brought on by the lateness of the hour and the strength of the wine."

"I used to believe in dreams and once I felt that a dream had come true. I don't think I do any more"

"Have you seen West Side Story?" she nodded. "There is a wonderful song in that musical which goes 'somewhere's a place for us, a time and space for us,' but look what happens. They both end up dead. It was all a hopeless dream. "

"But dreams are nice to have, and they can be enjoyed as dreams" she was speaking softly now and had moved close to John on the sofa. "Life would be dull with no fantasy."

She laid her head on his shoulder. He noticed her glass was empty. "Its really nice here" she said very softly, "I feel completely at peace." She was quiet. John looked down. Her head was on his shoulder and her eyes were closed. She was very close to sleep if not already asleep. He looked at his empty glass and felt that he was not far from slumber himself. He moved his arm and slipped it round her shoulder and pulled her closer to him. It felt good. She was so warm and so close to him. So soft so gentle and the breathing was now so soft and rhythmic, she was asleep.

Daylight filtered softly through the open shutters at dawn. John was not conscious of having been asleep yet it only seemed a moment ago that he had been talking about the possibility of a future relationship. But it was not a dream. For very close to him now was Mary, still huddled up against him. They had both moved and though still on the sofa were comfortable and relaxed in a way that he would never have thought possible after spending the night on such a narrow piece of furniture.

But John's mind was not at peace. His body felt so comfortable but his mind was racing as in the night he had seen the long dead principal of his seminary. He had been a wise old man and though the young ordinands made fun of his ponderous ways he was greatly respected. One conversation came back to John. It had been early on in his studies and had been forgotten when subsequent events had led him in a different direction but here it was returning to haunt him. Father Kieran said "John you have a monastic vocation. You will only be happy with celibacy if you are in the company of a brotherhood. If you work as a priest in the world then I fear that perhaps, Oh well.." John hadn't listened. He hadn't experienced any problems then.

Even with Kate he had never remembered Father Kieran. But now there was something in the old man's words that kindled in him a longing for a way of life that he had rejected. Did he now have to make a choice between Mary and a Monastry? Surely not. Could he marry. Become laicised. He remembered his uncomfortable visit to Bernard. Bernard was a fellow Jesuit and had been with John all the way through the training but had left to marry. He now worked as a teacher in a secondary school. John remembered his visit to see Bernard in his little terraced house. The crowded accommodation and the big pram taking up so much space. There had been an enormous pile of ironing. He remembered that on that visit he had been filled with pity at what he had seen as his friend’s horizons having become so narrowed. Here was no longer a noble priest, the highest form of service to God. Instead here was a simple homemaker and protector of domesticity. He remembered how superior he must have sounded to his old friend as he had looked down on his new lot. But Bernard was happy and now he could see why. And he even felt jealous of Bernard for finding love so many years before he had. Now though he began, just began to see some of the things that had attracted Bernard. A real life companion a real home and a family of your own... Monastery or marriage. In some ways both filled him with dread and both attracted him at the same time.

Mary too had woken early but she too feigned sleep as she was comfortable and felt safe. She wanted to prolong the moment for as long as possible. She still had had dreams. Well she could remember one dream. It was unlike all the other though. As she tried to remember it she found it difficult to be accurate. She was herself. There had been no more historical flashbacks. This was present or future and she was not alone. She was with a man. It seemed as if it was John though he was not always clear as people in dreams sometimes fade in and out. She hoped it was John but all the same there remained in her mind a nagging doubt that he wasn't really there with her.

John moved his head and looked down at her face. On his movement she opened her eyes and looked up at him. She smiled. A great feeling of emotion and affection suddenly overwhelmed John. And in a moment of insight he recognised that this chaste night of sleeping side by side had been a more intimate moment than all the physical gymnastics that he and Kate performed. He bent over and kissed her softly on the forehead and then said, "Its morning. Time to get up and see what this day will bring."

She smiled again but didn't immediately return the kiss. "Lets get going, I think we've got a great deal of talking to do" She kissed him gently on the cheek as she got up.

11

John cleared the remains of the previous evenings meal and made a large pot of coffee whilst Mary drove down to the shops in her car to get fresh, warm croissants. As she burst back through the door she said,

"Andre and Mark were right. I think things are really starting to happen here today. There are many more cars than usual in and around the Village Square this morning and several groups of people standing talking. And it is only just 8.30."

They sat down but had hardly spread the first jam on their croissants when the doorbell rang. A tall young man entered and looked, in some ways, a clone of Andre. He introduced himself as an old friend of Andre and he was now a writer and environmental activist and animal rights campaigner. He also explained that he was the local co-ordinator for Friends of the Earth and involved with another organisation for protecting mountainous habitats that neither of them had heard of. He accepted their offer of a coffee and there followed an intense conversation on the pressures and benefits that tourism can bring to mountainous regions. He was a skilled interviewer and John watched the way that he prized what he wanted to know out of Mary in a gentle way. They gave him directions to the site and eventually he left.