Captive Girl (2 page)

*

When she sleeps, she dreams of Marika, of her
hands roaming all over Alice’s fragile body. Her skin cries out for
more, and Marika grows an octopus’s complement of arms, fondling
Alice with an eightfold touch. Two hands reach for the feeding
tube, give it a twist, and gently pull it out. Two other hands
remove the breather, and still two more lift her from the walker,
the seat/body interface coming loose wetly.

The multiplicity of hands lay Alice’s body on a
soft, downy surface, caressing her, stroking her, even in places
that only the seat has touched these past ten years. Alice reaches
for the mask, struggling to pull it loose, and two of Marika’s
hands push hers away. “Let me,” her voice buzzes, and all eight
hands pry at the stubborn, welded thing.

“
Try harder,” Alice says.

Marika yanks, and Alice’s body flops
helplessly. The mask will not budge.

“
Hang on,” Marika says, and plants
one foot against Alice’s chest. “This might hurt.”

And braced against Alice’s chest, Marika gives
a great heave.

There is a horrible ripping sound, a great
burst of pain—

“
Wake up.”

Alice gasps and lifts her head, then lets it
fall back again under the great weight of the mask.

“
It’s all right,” Marika says. “It’s
just a dream.”

Two hands unstrap Alice from the chair, and she
sags her head onto Marika’s shoulder.

“
You’re shaking.”

“
It was just a dream,” Alice
types.

“
That’s my brave girl,” Marika says,
and her hand reaches through the slits on the back of Alice’s gown
and caresses the skin beneath. “They’re watching.”

“
I don’t care.”

Marika lets out a small chuckle. “Neither do
I.”

“
They keep trying to tell me this
wrong.”

“
Well, I
am
your
caretaker.”

“
But—”

“
So let me take care of you. They
can’t punish me for doing my job, now can they?”

And Alice’s gown is untied and removed, and
then a warm, wet cloth rubs across her naked scalp.

Alice sighs and leans into it.

The cloth moves down, rubbing large, firm
circles across her back, across her withered, aching muscles. It
disappears, then is back on her arms, warmer and wetter, cleaning
between each finger, scrubbing at hollow armpits.

“
How’s the water? Is it too
warm?”

She shakes her head. It’s perfect.
Perfect.

The cloth comes back again, caressing her
breasts, the water dripping down her torso, tantalizing, and
Alice’s breath catches in her chest tube.

She grips the handrail tight in
anticipation.

“
Let’s make sure everything’s nice
and clean.”

Marika moves the cloth down to Alice’s
seat/body interface.

For an infinite instant, Alice’s world expands
far beyond the stars.

And then her body is no longer her own. It is a
trembling, helpless thing, cradled in Marika’s protective embrace.
In the haze, she cannot make out the words being crooned into her
ear speakers, just the soothing, familiar tone. But it is enough.
Enough to keep her safe until her body is back under her
control.

She sighs through her chest tube and nestles
her mask against Marika’s shoulder.

There is a soft kiss on her scalp. “You’re so
beautiful.”

She shakes her head, suppressing a second sigh.
“No I’m not. I can’t be.” They have never let her see what she’s
become, but she can feel the bones, the scars.

Marika’s voice grows impossibly softer. “Trust
me. You are the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.”

“
But my face…I don’t even know what
it looks like under here.”

“
I’m not interested in your face.”
Marika caresses the skin around the edge of the mask, and lets one
hand drift down to Alice’s breathing tube. “I love you this way, my
captive girl.”

Alice rests one hand over Marika’s and just
breathes.

*

“…
wakey wakey wakey wakey wakey
wakey…”

Alice jerks her head up from the bar, jolted
from a familiar dream just in time to keep it from turning into a
nightmare. Her parents, a sunny day, a ball, the rooftop terrace.
She doesn’t have to relive the terrible shadow, the whistle and
crash of the projectiles, the blood, the screaming, the—

No, she
doesn’t
have to relive it. She
rubs her mask with her hands and calls up a fractal pattern to
drive the dream images away. “How long have you been typing at
me?”

“…
wakey wakey wakey wakey wakey
wakey…”

“
Selene, I’m awake
already.”

“…
wakey wakey wakey
woke?”

“
Yes.”

“
wokey wokey”

“
That’s not a word,
Selene.”

“
wokey wokey donty carey”

Alice grabs the padded bar of her walker and
forces herself forward a few steps, the tubes tugging at her
puckered skin as she pulls them along. “Is anyone paying attention
to Selene?” she types.

Dr. Mishima says, “Don’t worry, we
are.”

Alice calls up the clock and feels a sickening
buzz of adrenaline. “Why isn’t she on shift? There’s no one on
shift right now.”

“
She needs a break, so we’re giving
her one.”

Alice drags herself forward, raising her heavy
head, straining to face what she hopes is the control room. “Hook
me up. Put me on.”

“
There hasn’t been an attack in over
ten years. A third-day without monitoring shouldn’t—”

“
NOW!”

“
There’s no need to shout,” Dr.
Mishima says.

“
chair hurts spurts furts get me off
off off off off off off”

“
Shit,” Dr. Mishima hisses, and then
the audio connection slams shut.

“
What’s going on?” Alice
types.

Nothing.

“
Somebody talk to me. What’s going
on? What’s wrong with Selene?”

Nothing.

“
Please. Somebody talk to me. Is
anyone in the control room? Anyone?” She drags herself forward
until her wheels hit the wall, then turns and painstakingly walks
forward until she hits the next wall. “Someone talk to
me.”

Nothing.

“
Or you could hook me up. I could
patrol. Please. Don’t just leave me here. Someone say
something.”

She hits another wall, and leans her mask
against it.

“
Don’t just leave me
here.”

*

“
There’s just the two of you now,”
Dr. Qureshi says.

“
Grt,” Jayna types.

If Alice still had eyes, she would roll them.
“Use vowels,” she types.

“
Fck yu.”

“
Well, that was one
vowel.”

“
We can’t do full shifts with just
two of you.”

“
I’ll work extra,” Alice types,
pulling up her happy family slideshow for inspiration. “Put me on
for a half-day. I can do it.”

“
Crzy btch.”

“
Or have us do quarter-days on,
quarter-days off, twice daily.”

“
No, that’s unacceptable. We’ll
stick with third-day shifts for the two of you, and leave Selene’s
shift unmonitored.”

“
No, THAT’S unacceptable,” Alice
types.

“
It’s been over ten
years—”

“—
since I watched my parents
die.”

“
Alice, I know you feel—”

“
You can’t know.” Alice is seething
behind the mask, her happy family slideshow flipping from image to
image so quickly that it’s nothing but a blur. “I watched my
parents burn. I still hear them screaming in my dreams.”

“
Alice—”

“
Unless you’re sitting in one of
these chairs, don’t tell me you know how I feel.”

There is a pause, then just as Alice is
convinced that the connection’s gone dead, Dr. Qureshi says, “For
all we know, those ships aren’t coming back.”

“
For all we know, they
are.”

“
And what are the chances that
they’ll come during the third-day that we’re not watching the
skies?”

“
About one in three.”

“
Thr nt cmng bck?”

“
We can’t say for sure.”

“
Gt m ot of ths chr.”

“
What was that?”

“
Gt me out of ths chr. Gt ths fckng
msk off m fce.”

“
Jayna, I didn’t say the program was
coming to an end, just that we don’t think we need captive minds
monitoring space all day long anymore.”

“
GT THS FCKNG MSK FFFFFFFF M
FCE!!!!!!!”

“
Jayna, I think you need to
rest.”

“
GT THSSSSS FKKKKkkk k
kk”

The typing stops.

“
What did you do?” Alice types.
“What happened to Jayna?”

“
Just gave her something to help her
sleep.”

“
You drugged her?” Alice tugs at her
feeding tube. “Through this?”

“
Why don’t you start your shift
now?”

“
You drugged her? How
could—”

And then her mind is untethered and flying
through space, searching for any hint of the black ships,
determined to keep any other little girls from suffering her same
fate.

*

When she comes back, Marika is waiting for her.
“We’re alone,” she breathes.

Alice grabs the walker tightly as she feels a
trail of kisses snaking down her exposed spine.

“
Marika. How—”

“
They’re in a meeting. About the
project. None of the caretakers were invited. They say we’re not
objective enough.” Hands reach into the gown to cup Alice’s small
breasts, and when fingers caress her nipples, she feels electricity
all the way down to her seat/body interface.

The lips plant feather-light kisses back up to
her bare scalp, and then a tongue gently caresses the scar tissue
ringing the mask.

“
We can’t,” Alice types. “We
can’t.”

“
They’re not watching. They’re
finally not watching.” The hands smooth up to the mask, cradling
it, fingertips just barely touching Alice’s skin, and with a jolt,
she realizes that Marika is kissing the metal right over her
mouth.

Alice works her mouth helplessly inside the
mask, straining to feel some contact, anything, anything that would
make her human again.

But she can’t.

“
So beautiful,” Marika
whispers.

Inside the mask, Alice feels her face working
up into a dry cry. Her lips tremble so hard she can barely type,
“I’m not.”

“
You have no idea—”

“
Then let me see myself.”

“
Alice—”

“
Let me see what I look like if I’m
so damned beautiful.”

“
I can’t. You know I
can’t.”

A hand snakes down to her seat/body interface,
and Alice shudders, collapsing forward onto the bar, her arms
straining helplessly to push her back up. “Stop.”

“
But we’re finally alone. We don’t
have to hide anymore.”

“
I said STOP.”

The hand vanishes. All tactile evidence of
Marika vanishes, and Alice calls up her tiny picture so she won’t
feel so crushingly alone. “I’m…I’m sorry,” Marika stammers. “I
thought…”

“
No. Not like this,” Alice
types.

“
What do you mean? There is no other
way.”

“
They’re ending the program, aren’t
they?”

Alice sits alone, with no input, just a picture
and buzzing speakers, waiting for an answer.

“
Please say something,” she types.
“Please don’t leave me like this. I have a right to
know.”

A shaky hand rests on Alice’s shoulder for an
instant before pulling away again. “It sounds like it, yes.
Selene’s caretaker told the government about the three of you, and
the President’s calling for an immediate end to the whole
thing.”

“
What do you mean, someone told the
government? We work for the government. Didn’t they
know?”

“
They didn’t know the details. We
didn’t tell them. They never would have let us do it if they’d
known that we were blinding, deafening, and crippling little orphan
girls.”

“
You couldn’t do it any other way.
We were the only ones—”

“—
the right age to accept the
implants, I know. I helped design them. We should have found a way
to make it work with adult brains. Doing this to little girls
was—”

“
We all volunteered.”

“
And Selene’s gone insane and Jayna
just unvolunteered.”