Captive Pride (46 page)

“I love you, CC,” Noah went on, finally professing the emotion that had tormented him for so long.

CC had dreamed of having his love for so long that she could only stand there and stare up at him. She wanted to ask him about the night at the inn when she had told him the truth of her love for him and yet he'd rejected her. She didn't understand why he hadn't told her of his love then.

When she didn't respond immediately to his declaration of love, Noah's heart sank. He was too late. He had feared as much but had held out a last shred of hope until now. Now he knew that there was no hope at all. She didn't love him, and he couldn't blame her. “I know I've treated you badly. I know I have no right to expect you to feel anything for me at all, but I had to tell you. I had to let you know before…” He looked away from her as he tried to bring his feelings under control.

CC heard the defeat in his tone and reached out to touch his arm. “Noah…”

He looked down at her hand on his arm before glancing up to her face, his expression wondering.

“Noah…I love you, too.” She said it softly, yet with deep feeling as the hard protective shell that had encased her heart melted away.

It was his turn to be stunned, but only for an instant, before he swept her into his arms and crushed her to him. “I thought it was too late…. I thought I'd lost you,” he told her huskily as he held her close.

“You haven't lost me, Noah. I'm yours forever.” CC savored his embrace.

Her words sent a shaft of pain through him.
Forever,
she had said. It unnerved Noah to think that forever might only be right now. He bent to her and kissed her. It was a desperate kiss of desire and longing, and when it ended he still held her close, fearful of ever letting her go. Had he discovered the woman of his dreams, the love of his life, only to have to tear himself from her? How could he tell CC that now that they'd finally found each other, there could be no future for them? With an effort, he forced the possibility from his thoughts. They had now, and that was all that mattered.

“CC…love.” He swung her up into his arms and carried her to the bed. This would be their night—a night of loving and giving, a night with no misconceptions or lies. There were no more doubts or suspicions between them, no more half-truths…. They loved, and love conquered all.

Together they sank down upon the bed. All else faded into oblivion as they immersed themselves in each other. Each touch, each kiss took on special meaning as they whispered the long-denied endearments and pledges of devotion.

With the most exquisite of care, Noah stripped away the barrier of her clothing, revealing to his cherishing gaze the beauty of her womanly form. “You're lovely, CC…. You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen….” His voice was husky as he stared down at her, enthralled by the perfection of her breasts and the sweet invitation of her slightly parted thighs. “I love you.”

“Oh, Noah, please…love me…. I need you so….” She lifted her arms to encircle his neck and pull him down to her for a passionate kiss. Her lips parted under his, and her tongue met his in a sensual duel of desire.

As their mouths blended, he drew her against him. His caresses were almost worshipful as he stroked her with beloved reverence. Noah played upon her body as if he were the master, and she were a finely tuned instrument worthy of only the most delicate of touches. He held her enraptured, bringing her senses more and more alive with each delightfully arousing caress. His lips followed his hands, tasting and exploring every inch of her silken flesh as he sought to give her the ultimate in sensual pleasure.

CC began to move restlessly as the fire of need he was creating within her flamed uncontrollably to life. She wanted him…. She loved him…. She needed him. There was only Noah and the joy of their being together. Her hands moved over him hungrily, unbuttoning his shirt and slipping within to caress the hard, hairless expanse of his chest. Suddenly she was impatient to have him undressed and naked beside her. She wanted to feel the hard, hot strength of him against her and know that he was hers, and hers alone. With eager hands, she pushed the shirt from his shoulders. Noah was momentarily distracted from his lovemaking by her actions, but he understood her need. He, too, wanted that ultimate closeness, and he stood to quickly finish stripping away the rest of his clothes.

CC's eyes were glowing as she watched Noah undress, and when at last he stood before her gloriously unclothed, she marveled at how perfectly he was made. There was no ounce of spare flesh on him. He was long and lean and firmly muscled. Her emerald gaze glowed with the fire of her inner need as it traced the width of his powerful shoulders and then followed the path of his chest down past his waist to the proof of his desire for her.

CC's heart quickened at the thought of being possessed by him, and she glanced up heatedly to find his gaze upon her. Their eyes met and held as Noah joined her on the bed once more. She knew a surge of wild passion as he moved above her and then settled his hot, hard weight against her welcoming softness. His mouth sought hers in a flaming, devouring exchange that told her of the power of his love.

Though his need was near to overwhelming, Noah held himself in check, going slowly so he could treasure every moment of their lovemaking. Easing a hand between them, he sought out the damp sweetness of her and he gloried in the knowledge that she was ready for him. With a slow, erotic rhythm, he caressed CC until she was moving hungrily beneath him. Knowing that she wanted him as badly as he wanted her drove him over the edge of self-restraint, and his need to bury himself within her could no longer be denied. Noah positioned himself before the portals of her love and thrust into the hot, velvet heart of her in one swift, sure movement. The moment was ecstasy. Enthralled, they blended and merged, taking and giving until the differences between them became nonexistent. They were one. When the excitement became too intense for them to bear any longer, they peaked, surrendering to the heated waves of rapturous splendor that pulsed through them. Wrapped in each other's arms, sated and secure, they drifted through the aftermath of love's splendor.

Reason returned slowly to Noah as he cradled CC against him. Though he wanted to stay there with her forever, loving her and holding her, he knew it was not to be. His situation was desperate. He was a hunted man…a man wanted for murder. He was going to be smuggled out of town like some illegal cargo, and his future was uncertain at best. He loved CC, yet he knew they could not hope to be together. What possible happiness could there be for her with him? He couldn't return to England or to Boston society. He had nothing he could give her…nothing…not even his name. The ecstasy of their moment of loving erased, he tried to ease himself slightly away from her, but CC stirred at his movements and gazed up at him.

“Noah…is something wrong?” she asked in a tender voice as she noticed a strange sadness in his eyes.

Noah grimaced inwardly at the question. Everything was wrong, but how could he tell her? How could he explain that at any moment Ryan or one of his men was going to show up, and he was going to be spirited away to God knows where?

“Noah…what is it?” CC could tell by his expression that he was tormented by something. She had no idea what the problem was, but she wanted to help him if she could.

“CC, I think we'd better get dressed.” Noah climbed from the bed and, keeping his back to her, began to pull on his clothing. “Ryan may be sending someone over to check on me tonight, and I wouldn't want them to find us like this.”

CC was completely confused and more than a little hurt by his behavior. She had thought they had worked through all the problems facing them. They had admitted their love! Didn't that count for something? Suddenly she was angry with him for shutting her out, and her temper flared.

“Is it something I did? Something I said?” Coming to her knees in the center of the bed, she faced him, her auburn hair streaming about her shoulders in tumbled disarray, her eyes flashing fire.

When Noah turned around to answer her, he was struck again by her loveliness, for she looked like an avenging angel. She was everything he'd ever wanted, and he wondered how he was going to tell her that he had to leave her and that it was over between them.

“CC, this has nothing to do with you….” he hedged, his gaze fastened on the beauty of her.

“How can you say that?” she demanded. “You make wonderful love to me, then leave our bed without a word. You became cold and indifferent….”

“CC, I am hardly indifferent to you, and if I seem cold, I'm sorry.”

“Then tell me what's wrong. We love each other. If there's something troubling you, maybe I can help.” Her plea was so heartfelt that Noah couldn't prevent himself from sitting down on the bed and drawing her back into his arms.

“Ah, love…everything is wrong.” His voice was a hoarse whisper as he buried his face against the sweetness of her throat.

“What do you mean?”

“I love you, CC. There's nothing I want more than for us to spend the rest of our lives together, but that's not going to happen.”

The certainty of his words was like a slap in the face to CC, and she stiffened in his embrace and drew back to look at him. “What do you mean?”

“I have nothing to offer you, darling.” His words were despairing. Noah felt as if his heart were being torn from his chest. He wanted her, God knows he did, but his sense of honor would not allow him to make promises to her he would be unable to keep.

“I have your love. That's all I've ever wanted.”

“What good is my love going to do you if I'm a wanted man? Have you forgotten that I've just broken out of jail? I'm a criminal, wanted by the law. Ryan's going to get me out of Boston as soon as he can, but after that I'm going to be on the run. There can be no future for us.”

Her eyes filled with tears. “But I love you! I want to be with you! It doesn't matter….”

“It does matter!” Noah told her bitterly. “CC…I feel the same way you do. I love you…. I want to be with you, but I won't take you with me. It's too dangerous. If anything ever happened to you, I'd never forgive myself.”

“Let me make that decision!” she demanded.

“No.” He was curt. “I love you too much to put you at such risk.”

“Then marry me now. I can stay here and wait for you….” she pleaded, wanting more than anything to be his wife and to bear his name.

“No, love. It wouldn't be fair to you. I have no idea where I'll be going or what I'll be doing. The way things stand, I could be dead tomorrow.”

“Oh, don't say that!” CC cried as she wrapped her arms about him in a fiercely protective embrace.

“I have to say it, CC. It's something you have to think about. You've got to understand….” Noah pried her arms from about him and held her slightly away so he could meet her eyes. “I love you, darling. I'll never love anyone else. It's because of my love that I won't put you through all the torment.”

“What's going to happen to you?” CC asked in a choked whisper as she struggled to fight back the tears burning in her eyes.

“I wish I knew,” he told her, smoothing an errant lock of hair back from her face and then bending to brush his lips tenderly against hers.

“Noah, please, I'll go anywhere with you! I'll do anything…. Just don't say that we're going to be separated!” she agonized.

Before he could reply, the sound of someone entering the house below tore them apart. “Get dressed,” he ordered as he closed the door firmly and then quickly finished straightening his own clothing. “It's probably the messenger from Ryan.”

CC was grateful she had been wearing the boy's garb, for it made it easier for her to dress, and she was completely clothed before the knock sounded at the door.

“Kincade?” Joshua Smith asked cautiously.

“Yes. Come in.”

Noah greeted him with pleased surprise. “It's good to see you again, Smith.”

“You, too,” he returned, glancing questioningly from Noah to CC. “Did Ryan send you here, Miss CC?”

“No. As a matter of fact, I came here looking for Ryan and accidentally discovered Lord Kincade's presence.”

Smith nodded. “Oh.”

“What's the news?” Noah quickly asked, directing the conversation away from the subject of CC's presence.

“It looks like we may be able to get you out of town just before dawn.”

“Is it definite?”

“We won't be sure until after midnight. Ryan will get back to us then with a definite answer, one way or the other.”

“Us?”

“Yes. He gave me orders that I was to stay with you for now, just in case.”

Noah fought to keep from scowling at the news. Smith was staying! Were he and CC never to have another moment alone together? Was it to end like this?

“I can stay with him if you've got something else you have to do, Joshua,” CC offered, feeling the same terrible desperation that gripped Noah.

“No, I'm sorry, Miss CC. Ryan gave me explicit instructions that I was to stay here until we heard from him.”

CC was crestfallen. The thought that she might never see Noah again left her dreams shattered, and she felt as if her life were ending.

“How's my brother?” Noah was asking. He was trying not to believe that CC would soon be forced to leave.

“They searched Matthew's house first, but of course they didn't find anything.” Smith was smug, pleased that their plan had worked so well.

“Good.” Noah was relieved that Matthew wasn't paying the price for his present predicament.

“I've brought us some food.” He held up a saddlebag and then looked around the small room in annoyance. “Pity there's not a better place to sit than on the bed,” he commented as he walked over and sat down. As he rummaged through the pouch for food, CC and Noah exchanged strained glances.