The feeling melted away as inexplicably as it had come.
I blinked, bringing myself back to reality. Katherine might arrive any minute, and I still hadn't broached a particular subject with Daddy.
At that very moment I saw her car drive into the gravel parking lot, kicking up dust. She got out, clad in jeans and a blue T-shirt, her hair tied in a ponytail with a bright red ribbon. Only Katherine could look so stunning in such a casual outfit. Clarissa ran over, throwing both arms around her waist. Katherine hugged my sister effusively. The passenger door of the car opened, and low and behold, Derek unfolded his lanky frame.
Oh, great
. What was
he
doing here?
I turned to Daddy, suddenly pushed for time. “You know, I don't like fighting with you.”
He flexed his back and eyed me, the practice momentarily forgotten. “We're not fighting.”
“Really. What would you call it, then?”
He considered his hands. “I told you no to somethin', and you got mad and attacked me personally. That's what I'd call it.”
“I didn't mean to attack you personally.”
“Well, you did.”
“Oh, Daddy, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything; I didn't mean it.”
“Jackie, I think you did mean it. You blurted what was on your mind.”
“No. Really. I'm glad about you and Katherine. I don't want to get in the way of that anymore.”
Daddy regarded me warily. “I wonder. Would you be sayin' that if she hadn't told you about that boy's comin'?”
“Of course I would.”
“Hey, Katherine!” Grandpa and Grandma Delham exclaimed at once, and our conversation abruptly ended.
“Hi!” responded a honeyed voice. Daddy swiveled around. I watched his profile as his lips spread in their wide, slow smile. Katherine held Clarissa's hand, Derek behind them.
“Hello there, pretty lady,” Mr. Buckley boomed. Katherine played the coquette, turning aside her head and swishing her hand in an “oh, my” gesture. Mr. Buckley laughed, his stomach jiggling.
“Hi, Bobby,” she said as Daddy stood up and held out a hand to help her climb up.
Clarissa clambered after them. “I wanna sit by Katherine,” she announced, and promptly flopped down. She hugged Grandpa and Grandma Delham, then snuggled against Katherine's arm.
“Hey, Derek,” Daddy said, “glad you could come.”
Derek mumbled hello, then stood looking at us, wondering where he'd sit.
Katherine leaned forward, searching for places. “Squeeze in on the other side of Jackie.” She reached across Daddy to graze my arm with her fingers. “Hey, there.” She held my eyes for a split second, as if trying to read any unspoken signals. I gave her a crooked smile.
Derek climbed over the bleachers awkwardly, his pant legs pulling up to reveal one green sock and one yellow. The sight of them irritated me no end. He plunked down, knees akimbo, large shoes pointed outward. “Hi, Jackie.”
“Hi.” Oh, for the life of me I hoped none of my friends showed up. Millicent's brother played on Robert's team, but I hadn't seen her. I studied Robert's teammates, trying to think who else might have an older brother or sister.
“Uh, you been on the computer much?” Derek tilted his head and squinted down at me, making his glasses rise up on one side.
“Not really.” Good grief. Was there anything besides computers this guy could talk about?
“Plaaaay balll!” the umpire called, and the game began. Henry Sythe, a short, stocky kid on Robert's team, strutted up to home plate and struck it twice with the bat. Across the field, parents of the opposing team filled the bleachers. They'd had to drive all the way from a little town on the other side of Albertsville.
“How come you came today?” I asked Derek.
He shrugged. “Important game. And it's earlier than usual. I don't have to be at work until three. Plus Katherine was comin', so I figured why not.” He surveyed the field. “You don't mind, do you?”
“'Course not.”
The two teams fought neck and neck through the first five innings. Robert batted two other players in with a home run and caught three outs. Daddy seemed to have forgotten his disappointment with me as he yelled and clapped. Katherine yelled right along beside him. I couldn't help thinking how familial she and Daddy seemed, shouting for Robert like two parents.
Derek surprised me with his excitement. “Yeah, way to go!” he'd yell, stomping his different-colored feet. “Man, can your brother play,” he said with a grin.
In the sixth inning our team was down by one run. “Whooeee!” Mr. Tull called as Jeb Cranksley came up to bat. We all stomped and hooted, then fell deathly silent, watching the ball. The pitcher let loose. Jeb swung with fury. And missed.
“Oh!” A roar of disappointment rose up, then fell away as we awaited the next pitch. Jeb let it go by.
“Strike two!”
Derek's head dropped. “Oh, man.”
“We'll do it, we'll do it.” My eyes fastened on Jeb. The pitcher threw what seemed to be a perfect pitch, and he swung hard.
Crack!
The ball flew toward left field, and Jeb tore out for first base.
We all jumped to our feet, shouting, punching the air. But the left fielder caught the ball just as Jeb neared the base. Jeb slowed, then swung back toward home, kicking at the grass.
Robert remained the most likely player to hit a home run. We craned our necks to watch as his two coaches conferred.
“What're they doing?” Derek asked. He leaned close to me, long neck extended, as he followed my gaze.
“Deciding whether to put Robert up now or not.” I shifted away from him. “It would be great to have someone on base in case he hits a homer. Then we'd be ahead. But it's a gamble at this point.”
A flash of red nail caught my eye. I glanced over to see Katherine's hand resting on Daddy's knee. The sight jolted me, like touching metal in dry air and getting shocked. I stilled, then turned my gaze aside. Only I made the mistake of turning too far, and for some reason, my eyes pulled to Derek's. He watched me, solemn faced, as if he read my every thought. I blinked away.
The coaches ended their conference. “Theodore,” one called, “you're up.”
“Go, Theodore!” Daddy yelled. Katherine's hand lifted off his knee as she clapped.
Theodore connected bat to ball on his first swing. An outfielder fumbled the ball and Theodore made it to second base. We jumped to our feet, screaming.
Robert came up to bat. “Ro-bert, Ro-bert!” we yelled as one.
“That's my grandson!” Grandpa Delham declared above the din.
“Go, little brother,” I whispered.
Robert took a couple practice swings, then assumed his batter stance, his profile cut out against the green field. I saw the firmness of his mouth, his hard stare, the veins in his arms standing out as he gripped the bat. Robert in his element. He was made for moments like this.
The pitcher wound up, and the ball flew. Robert didn't move.
“Ball one!”
I blew out air, hands against my lips. Another pitch.
“Ball two!”
“Oh!” Katherine exclaimed, “I can hardly stand this.”
The pitcher wound up once more, then let fly. The ball streaked toward Robert, and again he didn't move.
Comeon, comeon,
I breathed. At the last possible second, he swung. The crack split the air.
“Aahh!” We jumped and hollered, willing our energy to flow into that ball, watching, watching as it arced up and over every player's head. Robert streaked toward base, arms pumping, hair flying in the wind. The ball peaked and began to fall. “Go, go!” we cried. Theodore tore around third base and cut home.
The ball landed at the very edge of the field.
“Get it, get it!” came the cries from the opposite bleachers. An outfielder ran to the ball, snatched it up, and threw wildly toward second base. Robert hit that base and turned toward third. Theodore flew across home plate so fast he couldn't stop and bashed into his teammates, knocking two of them over. The second baseman caught the ball and let it fly toward third.
“Don't look back, Robert! Run!” Daddy's arms pumped the air.
The third baseman leaned out, one toe on base, reaching, reaching for the ball. Robert lowered his head, gunning with every ounce of energy he possessed. The ball would not reach the baseman. He jogged two small steps, jumped high, and caught it. Robert neared his goal and threw himself into space. Swiveling, the other player leapt to beat him.
They collided midair.
“Ungh!”
To this day, I can hear the breath of those two boys whooshing from their lungs, the
smack
of their bodies. Robert careened into the ground, his shoulder cutting a ridge through the grass. His right leg flew up. The opposing player crunched squarely on top of it.
Robert cried out. I froze. I'd never heard such a sound from my brother.
“Robert!” Katherine yelled. Clarissa screamed.
Daddy shot off the bench, practically knocking folks below him aside. The coaches ran toward third base. Katherine followed. The next thing I knew, I ran across the grass as well, Derek and Clarissa and my grandparents behind me.
“Get back, get back!” Robert's coach waved his arms as we neared. Daddy ignored him, falling to his knees beside my brother. The other boy had rolled off and slowly pulled to his feet, gasping for air. Robert gripped his leg below his knee, eyes squeezed shut, mouth pulled back and rigid.
Daddy reached for him. “Robertâ”
“Wait, let me check him,” Coach Crary said.
I slapped a hand over my mouth, heart scudding.
“He'll be okay,” Derek murmured, “he'll be okay.”
“Can you move your ankle?” Coach asked. Robert jerked his head in a no. Coach touched the leg, trying to examine the damage, but Robert pulled away in pain.
“We'd better get him to a hospital.” Coach Crary shook his head at Daddy. “I think it may be broken.”
“Oh, no, Robert!” I cried. The Albertsville hospital was a good forty minutes' drive away. I couldn't stand to think of my brother in such pain for all that time.
Everyone swung into action. Coach Crary and Daddy carried Robert off the field and laid him in the backseat of the car. Derek and Katherine, Clarissa, my grandparents, and I all followed, with half of Robert's teammates trotting anxiously behind.
“Oh, poor Robert,” Grandma's voice trembled. She turned to Grandpa Delham. “Let's follow them to the hospital.”
“Nâno,” Robert managed to say. “Stay and watch the game. I wanna know who won.”
“Okay, Robert, they'll stay.” Daddy pressed a shaking palm to Robert's cheek. “We'll get you fixed up.” My brother's eyes glistened with pain, but he would not cry.
“I'm
going with you,” Katherine insisted, her face white.
Daddy nodded. He turned his shocked gaze on me, and my throat nearly closed with love for him. How awful I felt for Daddy at that moment. How small and selfish I'd been, concerned with only myself when Daddy loved his family so much. He deserved better treatment from me. Wordlessly, I hugged him.
He wrapped his arms around me quickly, then pulled away. “He'll be okay, Jackie. Derek will have to bring Katherine's car. He can drive you and Clarissa home. I'll call from the hospital as soon as we know anything.”
“Uh-huh.”
Katherine pulled her car keys from her pocket and shoved them into Derek's hand. Clarissa wailed beside me. I drew her close. “It's okay, honey, it's okay.”
Everyone stood back as Daddy started the car. “We love you, Robert!” Grandma called. Derek gripped my shoulder as we watched them drive away. I felt too distraught to care.
We wandered back with the coach and players, still shaken, wanting to hear whether the game would continue. The teams were now tied. The coaches announced, “Play on.”
“We'll be prayin' for Robert,” folks on the benches called down to us.
“Thank you.”
Clarissa and I hugged our three grandparents. I insisted on going right home to wait by the phone, even though I knew we could not hear soon. “Would you call us?” I asked Grandpa Delham. “Let us know who won.”
We hurried away then, Derek and Clarissa and I. When we pulled up to our house, Derek turned off the car. “I'll stay until I have to go to work. I want to know how Robert is, and maybe I can help keep Clarissa busy.”
He spoke with such quiet firmness, as if he knew what I needed. Honestly, if he'd asked whether or not he could stay, I don't think I'd have been able to reason through an answer. For all Derek's strangeness, I felt comforted by his presence. “Okay. Thanks.”
Clarissa still cried. Derek rubbed her head as we dragged up the porch steps. “How about I teach you some cool tricks on a computer game?”
She leaned into me, sniffling. “Okay.”
We went inside and began our waiting vigil.
T
he next hour seemed more like ten. Derek pulled up a chair beside Clarissa at the computer to play her “Rising Creek” game. He discovered all manner of ways for Clarissa to jump the tadpole from one rock to another without drowning. Before long, her tears turned to giggles.
“Jump higher,” he chided. “You wanna swim the whole way like some drowned cat?”
“I'm not a cat; I'm a tadpole.”
“Tadpoles look like cats when they're drownin'.”
She let out a small tsk. “You're silly.”
I wandered back and forth between the computer and my bedroom, not quite sure what to do with myself. My thoughts skipped about as erratically as Clarissa's tadpole, all of them negative. The vision of Katherine's hand on my daddy's knee still made me wince, even though I told myself it shouldn't. Hadn't I wanted them to go out tonight? Which, of course, would not happen now. I stared at the photo of Greg and LuvRush, wondering if I'd ever meet him at all. I ran a finger over his face, imagining what it would be like to stand this close to him in person. After looking at his picture so many times and thinking about him so much, I felt as if I knew him. But I really didn't. Maybe he wouldn't even care about wanting to meet me. Maybe he was stuck-up and rude.