Cardinal's Rule (11 page)

Slave never complained, never fought, never tried to pull away as Landry fucked his mouth.

Slave took it.

After a few minutes, Landry shot a load down his throat. He didn’t even give slave a gentle pat on the head or a “good boy.”

“Go to bed. You can sleep on the other bed tonight. On top of the covers.”

“Thank you, Master.”

Landry turned off the lamp and pulled the covers over himself. He didn’t crank the A/C down

like he had the previous nights. He hated sleeping alone, missed the feel of Cris’ taller body stretched out beside him. Maybe now, being able to make reparations for what happened, he’d finally be able to let Cris back in bed with him without feeling guilty or angry about his presence.

Or without feeling like a goddamned pity fuck.

Chapter Six

Tilly laid in bed and stared at the ceiling. She realized sleep would be a long time coming as she replayed her conversation with Landry.

What the fuck.

What.

The.

Fuck?

Why the
hell
was she agreeing to this? And why the fuck had she come up with that crazy idea of hers?

She didn’t really want to fuck Landry! Well, okay, great eye candy, sure, but in all her revenge fantasies over what she’d do if Cris returned to her life, that wasn’t one of them.

Although something about the idea gave her a deep sense of satisfaction.

She tried rolling onto her side. A little after three, she finally fell asleep and dreamed about Cris, about their life together. All good times, even during her blackest emotional storms he stood solid and patient beside her, loving her. When she awoke a little after seven the next morning her resolve had faltered. She stared at the ring on her left hand. Cris had wanted to give her a ring and she’d refused for the longest time, terrified over the thought of being married to someone after what she’d seen her mother go through.

After what she’d gone through.

What if she’d let Cris marry her when he’d wanted to? Would he still have left and gone back to Landry?

Nothing good could come from that line of thinking, so she ended it.

It’s just another job
, she tried to think.
I wanted to be a nurse, wanted to help people. I get to do
that.

There was that. No more making men dress up in diapers or trying not to kick them in the teeth, 

literally, while they licked her boots, or whatever their kink was.

After a couple of years she found it a lot easier to slip into the role of “Mistress Cardinal” as she felt nothing but contempt for most of her clients. Otherwise, if it wasn’t for the paycheck, she’d never do it. It left her emotionally empty inside, a bottomless void only one thing had ever filled.

Her service and love for Cris.

She only enjoyed taking care of Bob and one other guy, but that guy was married and his wife knew about his kink. A pain slut on the high end of the scale who wanted to be used hard. She’d had coffee with the guy’s wife at the very beginning, Tilly pleasantly shocked to find out as long as no sex was involved and everything was kept transparent with her, the wife had no problem with it. Maybe the fact that she was a psychologist helped. She’d wanted to watch one session. Once satisfied it didn’t cross any of their marital boundaries, she let him have one session a month with Tilly. Usually two or three hours that left him barely able to walk later, but happy. Lately, she’d been asking Tilly questions about what they did and asking for advice on things she could do for him at home.

Tilly was more than happy to show her proper techniques to cause pain without injury. She

couldn’t scene as heavily with him as he craved with Tilly, but it helped bond them closer as a couple.

A job well done.

Then…

She sighed. Then there was Bob.

She did
not
want to give up Bob.

Not just as a client either. It annoyed the snot out of her when she felt a twinge of guilt over that, picturing Cris’ face.

She also thought about the road ahead for Landry. Taking care of Landry, at first, would most likely be a full-time job in and of itself. Anyway, she didn’t have to worry about that for several days.

Bob wasn’t supposed to come back until next Thursday. She still had time to make up her mind there.

Two cups of coffee, an hour on the elliptical, and a shower later, Tilly dressed and was waiting when Landry pulled into the driveway.

Even though she’d told him not to bring Cris, relief to see Landry alone mixed with longing and a pang.

Goddammit.

She couldn’t possibly miss the asshole, could she? Was she that sick and twisted to seriously 

want to see him after what he did to her?

She didn’t go out to Landry. She made him walk to her front door and ring her bell. She’d opted for slacks, a blouse, and a blazer. Conservative heels, her hair smoothed back, not gelled into her usual wild, spiked mess.

“You look very nice. I feel underdressed.” He wore jeans and a long-sleeved button-up shirt

with the sleeves rolled up.

“That’s not my problem, Landry.” She picked up her purse and pulled the front door shut behind her, locking it.

He kept his tone light. “I didn’t say it was.” He opened and held the car door for her. When he spotted her arched eyebrow, he smiled. “Holding doors isn’t just a slave thing, Tilly. It’s a gentlemanly thing.” His face darkened. “Or did slave never hold doors for you? I taught him better than that, I thought.”

“No, he held them. I just didn’t picture
you
being a man used to doing it.”

“There are a lot of things about me you don’t know. Was that an assumption on your part? I

thought we agreed to banish those from our marriage.”

She loved the sound of his voice, the hint of his accent. “Touché. Very true.” She took a deep breath and let it out as he took his place behind the wheel. “I’m sorry I’m bitchy this morning.”

“It’s all right. This is rather stressful. I’m aware of that. You are not alone in your feelings there.”

The question popped out of her mouth before she could beat it back. “So is he kneeling naked on the floor today?”

Landry slipped on sunglasses while he drove. “No. I let him get dressed and walk down to the park near the hotel. I told him I want him to sit there and think about his life and the things he’s done to the people who’ve loved him.”

“What did you tell him about today? About me?”

“Absolutely nothing.” He turned to her when he had to stop for a light. “It’s none of his

business. He’s my slave. He gets no say in this. I terminated his rights as my partner when I found out what he did to you. I want him to truly comprehend what he’s done to us.”

She snorted. “He didn’t do anything to you, when you think about it.”

He returned his attention to the highway when the light turned green. “You spent the last five 

years wondering why you weren’t good enough. I’ve spent the last weeks looking back on the past five years and wondering how much of what we had was really a lie. I went from feeling loved to feeling like a pity fuck. I think you and I each have a lot of issues to work out for ourselves. You have your life ahead of you, regardless. You’ve moved on. I’m left to wonder if I’m even going to survive, much less if I want to. If it’s worth fighting this time. Or if the man I thought I’d spend the rest of my life with would rather be with you.”

She stared at him, speechless.
Yeah, that would suck.

* * * *

The attorney was waiting for them. Tilly assumed getting the pre-nup negotiated would be a

very complex process. Landry overruled the attorney on most matters, meaning it when he said he wanted it very cut and dry. Tilly kept all her pre-marital assets, no matter what, and anything she earned during their marriage. If he died, it all went to her.

Just as they’d discussed.

While they sat in the attorney’s office and waited for the secretary to finish creating the

documents, Tilly stared at Landry. “How much are you worth, anyway?”

“Roughly?”

She nodded.

He shrugged. “With the business and properties, over fifty million.”

She knew her eyes widened at that, because he laughed. “Not so much of a pay cut now, is it?”

“I’m not hoping you die. You realize that, right? I’m not going to try to kill you to get it, either.”

He smiled. “I know. You’re a kind soul. You would have made an excellent nurse had you kept

up with that.”

“How can you say that when you don’t even know me?”

He leaned forward, his gaze on her. “Because you have kind eyes. Nothing that’s been done to you has managed to kill the sweet and giving spirit within you, the soul who wants nothing more than to lovingly serve. Buried behind an extremely thick and well-defended wall, yes, but it’s still there.” He took her hand in his and kissed it. “I don’t deny we’ve both been through a lot of crap to get to this point. Honestly? I’m very glad you’ll be beside me through this.”

Well didn’t
that
just fill her with warm fuzzies. She had no idea how to reply, so she kept her mouth shut.

* * * *

Landry must have researched where to eat because he drove her out to St. Armands Circle, to a

nice restaurant with an outside patio, without asking her for directions. Fortunately there weren’t a lot of smokers and they could enjoy the beautiful day.

“I’ve decided I have another rule,” she said after the waiter took their drink orders.

He looked amused. “And that would be?”

She leaned in, dropping her voice. “What you said in the car on the way to the attorney’s office, about not knowing if you even want to fight. If I’m doing this for you, you
will
fight. Do I make myself clear? I’m not signing on for you to just give up and roll over and cave in. Understood?”

He studied her for a long time. “You don’t know me,” he quietly said. “Why is this so important to you?”

“I’m uprooting my life. I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t think you were worth it.”

He clasped his hands together on the table. “Why is it so important to you
now
?”

She loved his eyes.
Fuck, why’d he have to be cute?
“Because he left me for you, to stay with you, to help you recover. You obviously meant a lot to him for him to do that. If you give up and die, then I lost those years and went through hell for nothing. If he gave you back your will to live and kept you going, no matter how wrong it was or how much it hurt me, I can’t totally fault him for that. Even if he acted like a moron,” she added.

When he grinned, the corners of his eyes crinkled playfully. “Okay. I can understand why you think that. It’s flattering.”

“Oh, geez. Ego alert.”

He laughed and sat back in his chair to take a drink of water. “You’re a ball-buster, Tilly.”

“The Domme gig wasn’t a clue?”

He leaned in again, still grinning. He dropped his voice. “About your other…condition. For our wedding night. Can I make a condition of my own?”

She nodded.

“You said you wanted vanilla. I’m fine with that, as long as you don’t try any CBT on me.”

She had to cover her mouth with her napkin to keep from spraying her own water all over the

table as she laughed. When she finally managed to recover, she smiled. “I promise I will only verbally bust your balls.”

He held his water glass up in a toast, and they clinked them together. He waited until she took another sip to add, “But feel free to literally bust slave’s balls as much and as hard as you’d like.”

Both of them laughing, he helped her mop up the puddle of water she sprayed over her side of the table.

* * * *

She helped him find a parking space at the county courthouse. Her breath caught when they

walked in.

I’m really going through with this crazy plan.

As they stood in line, she glanced at her left hand. The ring had to be expensive. Landry gently took her right hand and laced his fingers through hers. She looked up at him. Shorter than Cris by a couple of inches, but still taller than her. “Second thoughts?” he asked.

“Too late for that by about five dozen.”

“I see you’re not running away.”

She sighed. “No, I’m going to do this. It’ll be a nice change of pace. Besides, nursing and being a Domme are pretty similar.”

When he smiled, his eyes crinkled again. She loved that she could lift his spirits. He normally wore a sad expression and looked like he felt as heartsick as she once had.

The line moved forward. Four couples waited in front of them. “I just thought of another rule,”

she said.

“Do I need to take notes?”

“Asshole. No.” She tugged his hand. He leaned in close and she lowered her voice. “No matter what happens or how bad it gets, you can’t kill yourself. Seriously. Okay? Promise me.”

His expression turned solemn. He stroked her cheek and she hated that part of her felt so starved for the contact that she desperately wanted to lean into his touch. How long since someone had touched 

her like that?

Well, besides Bob.

“I promise. If you’re willing to fight by my side, I’ll give it everything I’ve got.”

She nodded. Then, without considering it, she rose up on her toes and brushed a quick kiss

across his lips. “Okay.” She poked him in the ribs. “I’ll hold you to it.”

* * * *

He wasn’t prepared for the wave of emotion that nearly swamped him. He almost wanted to

turn around and call it off. She would go through with it, totally. Wanted to stand beside him, right or wrong. Not out of love, not even out of like because they barely knew each other. Not even totally for the money, he suspected.

Because she felt it was the right thing to do.

He didn’t deserve it.

When she kissed him, it nearly took his breath away despite not seriously lusting after a woman in…well, a long time.