Careless (14 page)

“I don’t want another one-night stand with
you, but I’m not ready for a relationship, either.” She sighed. She knew this
was coming out all wrong, but she didn’t know how to convey everything she was
feeling for him without scaring him off. “It’s not that I wanna see anyone
else. It’s just that I need to focus on this tour for the next little while.”

“I get that.”

Tori looked up, surprised. “You do?”

“Of course I do. I know how hard you guys
have been workin’ to put this together. The last thing you need is a
relationship to mess with your focus, right?”

She nodded. He seemed to understand exactly
what she was thinking, how she was feeling. “There’s only one problem.”

“What’s that, darlin’?”

“My focus is already shot to hell.” Her
eyes landed on his full lips and she wondered how any woman could be expected
to spit out a coherent thought with that kind of temptation staring her in the
face.

“Why’s that?” he whispered, threading his
hands through her hair.

“I’ve been thinkin’ about what it would be
like if we had one more shot… you know, no interruptions, no distractions, just
you and me and…”

“And your big, empty bed?”

He pulled her toward him, coaxing her mouth
down to meet his as she scraped her silk panties against his jeans, creating a
delicious friction that nearly sent her soaring. 

“The whole night just to explore…” He
scraped his stubble against her sensitive nipples as he eased the delicate
fabric over her shoulders. He pressed an open-mouthed kiss to her collarbone.
“To taste…  

“Mike… please…” She pulled his hair, not
caring that it likely made his scalp tingle. He was making her whole body
tingle, from the top of her head to the tips of her toes, and she didn’t know
how much more she could take before she came completely unglued.

“You have to tell me what you want…” His
bright blue eyes were only half-open, and he appeared to be as lost as she
felt. “What you need from me…”

Tori brushed her peaked nipple against his
parted lips, hoping he would see fit to show her a little mercy. She didn’t
know how much longer she could survive in this aroused state of limbo.

He drew the tender flesh into his hot
mouth, circling the peak with his tongue as she cried out and bucked against
him.

“Just like that…” She threw her head back,
her hands in his hair and the slow, controlled movements of his mouth the only
anchors preventing her from dashing to the finish line.

Her hips were already gyrating
involuntarily, but when he sensed she was too close to the brink, he’d hold her
hips in place, forcing her to remain still until her body descended the summit
just before it reached the peak. “Don’t do this to me. I need…”

“I need you, too,” he whispered before
drawing the peaked point of her arousal between his teeth.   

“Then take me.”

Mike smirked as he tipped his head back to
look at her. “Anxious, aren’t we?”

She was almost embarrassed to admit it, but
maybe if she told him the truth, he would understand why she couldn’t hold back
any longer. “It’s been a while…” She felt the heat rising up her neck. “Months,
actually.”

He grinned as his hand moved up to cup her
breast. “How many months we talkin’, sweetheart?”

She closed her eyes, silently cursing his
smugness. He probably hadn’t gone a week without a woman warming his bed, but
each of the three men she’d been with in the two years since she’d been with
him left her feeling so disappointed and frustrated she couldn’t bring herself
to take the risk again. “Six, okay?”

“Hey, look at me.” He brushed his thumbs
across her cheeks. “I’m sorry I was so wrong about you.”

Tori was surprised he was willing to take
her word at face value. “You mean you’re sorry for thinkin’ I took a different
guy to bed every night?”

“I must’ve been the stupidest son of a
bitch alive to let you walk out of my apartment that night.”

Her heart clenched at his admission. She’d
been waiting so long to hear him say that. “I don’t want to think about that
night anymore. I want to make the most of this night.” She licked her lips,
praying he couldn’t feel how hard her heart was pounding under his hand. “Don’t
you?”

“Hell, yeah,” he whispered, bringing her
mouth down on his.

Mike had spent many sleepless nights
imagining what it would be like to get a second chance to make love to Tori, to
show her how much she meant to him, how wrong he’d been to make her feel like
she was anything less than everything.

Now the moment was finally here, and his
hands were trembling. He was the guy who put his colleagues to shame on the
shooting range because his shot was so accurate, his hands so steady, his aim spot
on, time after time. Yet here he was, in this woman’s arms, feeling more
nervous than he had when he lost his virginity to the head cheerleader in the
backseat of his old Camaro on the night of her junior prom.

“Let me take you to bed,” he whispered,
kissing her neck. He wanted to take his time and love her the way she deserved
to be loved tonight, the way he should have loved her the first time.

“Yes.”

Mike picked her up and carried her down the
hall as she buried her head in his neck.

For the past two mornings, he’d paused in
her bedroom doorway, watching her sleep, imagining what it would be like to
feel her long, silky blond hair tickling his chest as his eyes opened slowly to
admire the beauty in his arms. He swore if he ever got the chance to experience
that, he wouldn’t waste a minute on recrimination or regret. This was about new
beginnings, starting over. He may not have treated her the way she deserved to
be treated the last time they were together, but now that he knew what he’d
almost had and lost, he wouldn’t make the same mistake again.

She never took her eyes off him as he laid
her down in the middle of her big four-poster bed and peeled his clothes off.

“Protection?”

Tori pointed to her nightstand and he
leaned over to reach into the drawer. He broke the seal on the box and tossed a
few of the small foil packets on the wood surface.

“Four? Should I be worried?”

He laughed. Only she could make him laugh
when he was this aroused. “Baby, I don’t think I could ever get enough of you.”
He rolled the condom on and loosened the tie on her robe. The only thing
standing between him and the one thing he wanted more than his next breath was
a silky pair of panties. “You are so gorgeous,” he whispered, peeling them down
her smooth, lightly tanned legs.  

She reached for him, but he grabbed her
wrists, placing a kiss on each pulse point. “Just let me look at you. You don’t
know what it does to me, seein’ my name on your…”  He took a deep breath and
found the courage to say the words that had been searing his lips every single
time he saw her. “Tori, I’m fallin’ in love with you.”

“You don’t have to say—”

He silenced her with a deep, passionate
kiss. “Yes, I do,” he said, when he finally pulled away. “I should’ve said it a
long time ago. Hell, I knew it was true two years ago, and that’s what scared
me. I knew you could destroy me.”

“I don’t want to hurt you,” she whispered,
wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him down for another kiss.

She hadn’t said she felt the same way, but
he tried not to dwell on that as her body opened up to him, enfolding him in
her heat.

“This…” she murmured, “this is what I
needed, what I’ve been missin’.”

Her nails pierced his back as he kissed her
neck. He thought all he had to do was eradicate her fear, stroke by stroke, and
she would open up and let him into her heart.  

“Baby, please…” He hadn’t realized the plea
slipped past his lips until she kissed him again. She probably thought he was
pleading with her to surrender to her inevitable release, but this went so far
beyond their physical connection. He’d never been the first to say those three
little words to a woman, never waited for a lover to say it back to him, but he
suddenly realized how cold and lonely it felt on the other side of that
declaration, wishing, hoping, praying the person you loved would love you back.

“Oh God, Mike…” The rest of her words were
lost to the wave of her breathless climax, but he knew they weren’t going to be
the words he wanted to hear. Not even cocooned in the safety of an intimate moment
was she willing to let her guard down long enough to admit she loved him. 

She bracketed his face with her hands.
“Hon, what’s wrong?”

He closed his eyes, trying to take pleasure
in the sweet heat she promised, but he couldn’t be satisfied with her body. Not
if she wasn’t willing to give him her heart. For him, it was all or nothing. “Not
a damn thing.” He still had his pride. He’d told her how he felt, and if she
wasn’t able to reciprocate, he would never try to force it.

Tori raised her hips, threaded her hands
through his, and looked him in the eye. “Make love to me.”

They weren’t making love, they were having
sex again, and that insight hurt beyond anything he’d ever felt before. He
loved this woman, he wanted her to love him back, but she couldn’t… or
wouldn’t. “That’s not what you want, is it?”

“What’re you talkin’ about?”

“This,” he said, pounding into her
ruthlessly, punishing her and himself for the feelings he should never have
acknowledged. “This what you want? You wanna forget about life for a while…” He
hated the look of her ecstasy he saw on her beautiful face, hated her for
making him fall deeper in love with every second that passed. “You want me to give
you what you need… a quick release… no strings attached.” His body and his heart
were completely out of sync as the harsh accusations fell from his lips. “You
don’t want me…” He thrust into her relentlessly, knowing she was claiming her
pleasure despite his pain. “You just want this…” He gave into his own release
on a guttural cry of frustration. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. Having sex
with her wasn’t supposed to end in a mind-blowing climax. Only making love with
her, really connecting with her, was supposed to make him feel that way.

Before she could stop him, he eased off her
body, picked up his clothes, and walked down the hall to the guest room. If
he’d questioned it before, he didn’t now. His time in her life was meant to be brief.
Once this case was over, he’d go back to his home, his life, and try once again
to forget this night ever happened.

Tori listened to the sound of the shower
down the hall. She kept hoping he’d come back, but when minutes slipped into
hours, she knew he wasn’t. She could lie there and pretend she didn’t know what
had set him off, but it was painfully obvious. He wanted her to acknowledge her
feelings for him, but she couldn’t… not yet. Not until she knew she could trust
him with her heart.

She had known him almost four years, and
during that time, she’d seen him with dozens of women, each more beautiful than
the last. Tall, exotic beauties or sexy redheads whose eyes shone with love
that was so clearly one-sided. She didn’t want to be another one of those women
who gave her heart to him, only to have him quash it when he tired of her. He’d
done it once, but she’d be damned if she let him do it again.

Only one thing would prove to her that he
was sincere: time. If he still claimed to love her weeks, months, years from
now, maybe she could reveal the truth… that she’d fallen in love with him the
first time he stepped out of his father’s pool and smiled at her like he’d been
waiting for that day as long as she had.  

Since Mike couldn’t sleep, he decided to
get up and make breakfast. Living alone meant he had to starve or learn to
cook, so he’d eventually opted for the latter. Once the coffee was brewing, he
started on the eggs and bacon.

Tori tiptoed into the room, looking
sheepish. “I guess I overslept.”

Mike glanced at the clock on the stove.
“It’s only seven thirty, not too late.” He didn’t want to engage in idle chitchat,
but since they were living under the same roof for the next couple of days, he
would have to work at being civil to her. Once they were out on the road,
staying in separate hotel rooms, it would be easier for him to maintain his
distance… and his sanity.

“Good thing we’re gettin’ a late start this
mornin’.” She reached into the overhead cabinet and poured him a coffee. “A
peace offerin’?”

“You don’t need to worry about makin’ peace
with me. I understand the way it is.” It was killing him, but he understood
perfectly. She didn’t share his feelings. For her, this was all about the sex.
Any connection he’d felt had obviously been in his mind.

“I wanted to talk to you about tonight. My
family’s comin’ over for dinner.”

“You don’t have to worry about me. I won’t
be here.”

“Where will you be?”

“I have a date.” It was the truth, he’d
made the date before he took the case, and he’d never gotten around to
canceling it. Now he had no reason to. This thing between them obviously wasn’t
making it out of the bedroom and he was tired of trying to convince himself it
was.