Careless Rapture (16 page)

Cassie patiently answered all the woman’s
questions, signed her address book, then waved as the woman
left.

Jackie shook her head, amazed by the
onslaught and Cassie’s composure. “I’m surprised she didn’t ask you
when you were due.”

Cassie patted her stomach affectionately.
“Big girls don’t get asked questions like that. People have to be
careful.” She grinned. “I could be pregnant or just really, really
fat. I’ve made the mistake myself and wanted to dig a hole in the
ground.” She shook her head, amazed. “Unfortunately, it never
fails. When you look your worst, someone will recognize you.”

Jackie shook her head. “You could never look
bad.”

“Spoken like a true relative.” She stood.
“Come on, let’s get Adriana before she pulls out her wallet.”

They reached her too late. Adriana ended up
buying a blouse, defending her purchase by pointing out that she’d
returned six other items. The trio left the mall and headed to the
Golden Diner, a pricey restaurant with a home-cooked feel and
casual, sophisticated ambience.

Adriana picked at her chicken salad. “I’m
worried about Eric.”

“Why?” Cassie asked.

“I don’t know. He just seems tired.”

“It’s probably the weather change. Allergies,
perhaps? What do you think, Jackie?”

Jackie hesitated. “I don’t know. Eric likes
to be secretive.”

Cassie nodded. “He’s used to keeping things
to himself, he hasn’t learned to be a husband yet. He’ll be okay.
If it were something serious, I’m sure he’d tell you.”

Adriana nodded but her expression didn’t
change. Jackie affected a casual tone. “Do you think Clay will ever
marry?”

Adriana frowned. “I don’t think he
should.”

Cassie nudged her with her foot. “That’s not
nice.”

“It’s true.” Adriana shuddered. “He’s too
mysterious---too different.”

“This coming from a woman who used to date a
man with a pierced lip.”

Adriana rolled her eyes. “All I am saying is
that there are men you date and men you marry.”

Cassie checked off his attributes on her
fingers. “He’s kind, intelligent—”

Adriana grinned. “And you’re not biased
because he’s your half-brother?”

“I was right about Eric.”

“But wrong about Drake.”

“I know.” She’d nearly lost him because she
felt so undeserving after a lifetime of self-loathing. Thankfully,
he’d been patient until she came to her senses. “However, I’m not
biased about Clay. I have a younger brother no woman should marry.
Unfortunately, two women already have married him. Clay is...” She
searched for words and found none. “...Clay. He's completely his
own person, self-made.”

“I admire him,” Adriana admitted. “I even
like him. I just don’t understand him. I mean, what kind of guy
becomes an investigator?”

“A caring one.” Cassie smiled wistfully. “He
used to walk me to school and help me with my homework. Sometimes
he’d tell me stories about his big sister.”

“What was her name?” Jackie asked.

Cassie thought for a moment. “I don’t think
he ever mentioned her real name. He had a nickname for her. Rennie.
She lived with his mother.” She paused. “Now that I think of it, I
never met her. She never came to visit and Dad didn’t have any
pictures of her. At least none that I ever saw. I never considered
how that must have made Clay feel. We weren’t a family that talked
about much. Even when Rennie died Dad didn’t discuss it.”

“That’s awful.”

“Dad was distraught, but he never talked
about it.” She shook her head. “Not that Mom would have let him.
She preferred to keep a distance between his past family and his
present one. I always wondered how he felt making that decision,
taking Clay and not his sister. I never had the courage to ask him.
When Clay ran away ...” She sighed. “There were so many unspoken
questions when he left. I still haven’t asked him many of
them.”

“Like what?” Jackie asked, trying to sound
casual.

“Like what did you do? Where did you go? How
did you survive?”

“Aren’t you curious?”

“Of course, but I don’t want to bring up
painful memories. I don’t want to give him a reason to leave again.
I have this sense that if you get too close, he’ll disappear.”

“Like a phantom,” Adriana said in an ominous
tone. “Don’t look at me like that, it’s true. I’ve known you almost
all my life and I remember meeting Clay. Yes, he was nice. He even
bought me an ice cream cone once, but every time I met him he
always seemed like a stranger. How is that possible? He’s in your
life, then out of it, then in again, and you still don’t know much
about him. You don’t even know his favorite color.”

Jackie sipped her drink. “Black.”

Adriana and Cassie turned to her, surprised.
“What?”

Jackie shrugged nonchalantly, annoyed she’d
been so careless with what she knew. “He told me his favorite color
is black.”

“That’s not like him to share personal
information.”

“I was trying to think of a Christmas
gift.”

Adriana accepted the explanation; Cassie
didn’t. She flashed a sly grin. “Are you interested?”

“No,” she lied. “Just curious.”

“Stay curious,” Adriana said. “You and
Clay”—she cut her hand through the air—“
Never
.”

Cassie waved her fork. “Again, need I point
out the kind of couple you and Eric make?”

“We complement each other. Clay’s too old for
her.”

“He’s not that old.”

“Jackie deserves someone polished, refined,
upwardly mobile.”

“You’re beginning to sound like Drake,”
Jackie grumbled.

“Because he’s right.” Adriana sat forward and
lowered her voice. “I know he’s intriguing. And to be perfectly
honest, he was my first crush.”

Cassie stared at her, surprised. “You never
told me that.”

“I know. You don’t usually tell your best
friend you have a crush on her brother. Besides, I was eight.”

“Clay would love to know that.”

Adriana pointed a finger at her and said in a
low voice, “Don’t you dare tell him.”

Jackie leaned forward, intrigued. “Why did
you have a crush on him?”

“The fact that he was cute didn’t hurt. He
always knew the right thing to say. If I felt ugly, he’d say I was
pretty. If I felt stupid, he’d say I was smart. He never picked on
me like other brothers do. His accent also helped and I fell for
it.”

“When did your crush stop?”

“When I discovered Child of Rage.”

“What?”

“A rock and roll band,” Cassie explained.
“She fell in love with the lead singer, thus beginning her
affection for bad boys.”

Adriana glanced at Cassie. “Yes, as I am
constantly reminded, I had my fair share of bad boys and thoroughly
enjoyed myself. The problem is Clay isn’t a bad boy.”

“Then what is he?”

“I don’t know and that’s the whole mystery.
You should be able to categorize a man so that you know how to deal
with him. With Clay you can’t. Besides, you want to marry well and
he doesn’t fit the standards.”

Jackie shook her head. “I’ve dated polished
and refined. Unfortunately, I’m not refined enough for them.
Remember where I come from? I’m not like you two. You’re cultured
without effort.”

Adriana laughed. “If you only knew. You can
marry well, don’t sell yourself short. Your brothers married up, so
can you.”

Cassie frowned. “Did you marry Eric for his
money?”

Adriana looked insulted. “Of course not.”

“Then stop giving ridiculous advice.”

“It’s not ridiculous. She can’t afford to
marry poorly.”

“Clay isn’t poor.”

“I didn’t say he was.” She squeezed Jackie’s
hand. “Marry for love. Just make sure he has money.”

“I’m not thinking about marriage anyway.”

Cassie rested her arm on Jackie’s shoulders
and gave her a quick squeeze. “If you do, follow your heart.”

“And make sure your head agrees with it.”

Jackie rested against Cassie and smiled at
Adriana, loving them as both sisters and friends. But she felt like
a fraud.

***

“Jackie, didn’t seem herself today,” Cassie
said as Drake prepared for bed.

He pulled on a T-shirt. “What do you
mean?”

“I’m not sure. She’s usually more lively,
more playful. Tonight she was subdued. I don’t know,” she said,
frustrated. “I can’t put my finger on it.”

He closed the dresser drawer. “She’s
concerned about work.”

Cassie shook her head. “No, she’s been under
pressure before. This seemed different.”

He turned off his side lamp and slid into
bed, gathering her close. He was exhausted, but always felt most at
home in bed with her, with the scent of cocoa butter and her soft
curves. “Go to sleep.”

“Jackie’s different about the same way you
are.”

He stopped. “What do you mean?”

She gently shook his shoulder. “I know you,
Drake. What’s wrong?”

He sat up and looked into the open brown eyes
that had captured his heart years ago. She trusted him, he didn’t
want to start lying to her now. He opened his mouth, closed it,
then shook his head. He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I
can’t tell you,” he said finally.

“Why not?”

He rested his head against the headboard, his
exhaustion turning into worry then guilt. “I just can’t.” He turned
to her. “Don’t be angry.”

“I’m not angry. I’m hurt, concerned, annoyed,
but not angry.” She pulled up the sheets and turned off her light.
“Fine. If you can’t talk, we might as well go to sleep.”

He didn’t move. She grabbed his hand. “Stop
that.” He hadn’t realized he’d been cracking his knuckles. “Go to
sleep.”

“Right.”

After a few moments she said, “I know what it
is.”

He waited. “What?”

“You’re seeing someone else.”

He grinned into the darkness. He could never
second-guess what she would say. He released a world weary sigh.
“How did you find out?”

“Lipstick on your underwear.”

“How did it get there?”

“How would I know? You’re the one having an
affair.” She turned to him, sitting up on her elbow. “You’re not
very good at this.”

“At what? Pretending I’m having an
affair?”

“Yes.”

He brushed her cheek with his knuckles. “I’ll
try harder next time.”

“Do. It will be more fun that way. It even
helps if you come up with a name.”

“I know her name. It’s Annette. She’s a
beautiful woman with an unfortunate name. Ow!” he cried when Cassie
pinched him.

“Say my middle name is beautiful.”

“With a straight face? Ow!” She’d pinched him
again. “Okay, your middle name is beautiful.”

“And that if there was anything seriously
wrong, you would tell me.”

His tone grew serious. “Yes, I’d tell
you.”

“Good. So ends your nightly torture.” She
pulled up the covers and soon drifted off to sleep. Drake couldn’t
do the same.

Clay sat in
Eugene’s bar with Drake, Eric, and Eric’s friend Carter, a man with
hazel eyes, brown hair, and a deceptively innocent face. Eugene’s
was a comfortable place that offered good drinks, an occasional
exciting game on TV, and waitresses that weren’t too hard on the
eyes—though Clay would never admit he liked coming more for the
company than the drinks. He considered few people friends, and
Drake and Eric made up that few. He briefly thought about Jackie,
then pushed the guilt aside. It would be over between them before
anyone found out. However, Drake looked as though something was
troubling him. For one sinking moment, Clay wondered if he
knew.

“What’s wrong, mate?”

Drake sighed. “Cassie knows.”

He lifted his beer. “Knows what?”

“That I’m hiding something.”

“What are you hiding?” Carter asked.

“The fact that Eric’s doctor’s worried about
his lungs.”

Eric scowled. “Nice to know you’re able to
keep a secret.”

“I haven’t told Cassie.”

Eric still scowled.

Clay tapped the side of his mug. “Why is it a
secret?”

Drake shot his brother a look of disgust. “He
doesn’t want his wife to know or mine.”

“Women talk,” Eric said.

“She’s going to break me down.”

“Lie.”

“I can’t lie to her.”

The three men stared at him, stunned.

Carter finally said, “You’re kidding,
right?”

Eric grabbed a handful of peanuts and popped
one in his mouth. “There are certain social norms Drake never
learned. Like lying to his wife.”

Drake frowned. “You enjoy lying to
yours?”

“I don’t have to lie. She doesn’t suspect a
thing.”

“Yet.”

“Lying isn’t necessarily a bad thing,” Carter
said.

“It’s a means of survival in certain cases.
Especially in marriage.” He twisted the wedding band on his finger.
“Trust me.”

Clay leaned forward, ready to impart some
wisdom.

“There’s an art in lying to a woman. It comes
in two forms. One takes careful planning, the other cunning. First
you have to establish the situation.”

Drake blinked. “What does that mean?”

“How do you know she’s on to you?” Eric
clarified.

“She asked me what was wrong.”

Clay nodded. “What did you say?”

“I said, ‘I can’t tell you.’”

The men groaned as though they’d just
witnessed a bad sports play.

Carter rested his hands on his head and shut
his eyes as though in pain. “He’s screwed.”

Clay shook his head. “No, no, he can get out
of this. Listen closely, mate. She’s going to ask you again.” He
pointed at Drake to make the message clear. “Whatever you do, don’t
say, ‘Nothing.’”

The other men nodded. “You’re dead in the
water if you do,” Carter said.

Drake furrowed his brows. “Why?”

“Women don’t believe in ‘nothing,’” Eric
said.