Carnal Secrets (12 page)

“Ooh, possessive.” Kent chuckled and went back to tidying the salon, ready to close up. “I think this is hilarious.”

“What’s funny about a Public Toilet Survival Kit?” In truth, the only reason she wasn’t chuckling with him was that she was annoyed—Nick was being nice, something he most likely wasn’t experienced at. But he was trying. For her. And it was getting to her.

“I’m guessing you told him about your phobia of public toilets.”

She had only told him this morning, and already he was on top of it. There was no denying he was sharp. The gift hadn’t been the only thing to make her smile. No. Not long after the gift had arrived, she’d received a text message from him:

Ever played Simon Says naked?

She wanted to feel furious with him for sending her messages when not only had she not given him her number, but she’d made it clear that she wanted him to leave. Instead—like yesterday—she found herself trying and failing to stifle an amused smile whenever she thought of the text.

“Why are you so irritated?” Kent asked quietly, conscious of Paisley’s presence. “Your mate bought you something that would make you smile—what’s bad about it?”

“I don’t want him to make me smile,” she said, sounding petulant. “I want to keep detesting him.”

“He’s who you ran from,” Kent said in sudden realization. “Tell me everything.”

So she did. But Kent’s reaction wasn’t what she’d anticipated. Rather than being outraged on her behalf, he was sighing dreamily. “It’s so romantic, isn’t it?”

She gaped. “How do you figure that?”

“Well obviously the rejection part wasn’t nice. But look what he’s done for you. He didn’t just give up his position of Alpha, he gave up his pack, his home—everything. Then he spent six months tracking you down and didn’t give up. He hasn’t asked you to go back to his pack, and he’s even offered to join yours. Do you have any idea how hard it would be for someone like him to be in a pack and
not
be Alpha? Yet he’s willing to do it. He’s practically camping outside your house, and he’s trying to make himself part of your life while still going at your pace—going completely against every alpha instinct he has. You’re not looking at things this way because you don’t want to; you don’t want to be tempted to give him a chance.”

She spluttered. “Would you?”

“Hell yes, he’s devastatingly hot! He’s got such a commanding presence, hasn’t he? I’ll bet he’s just as commanding in bed. I’ve never been with an alpha before. Can I borrow him?”

Hearing herself growl, she wanted to slap herself for the knee-jerk possessive reaction. She was
so
mixed up right now. She had almost asked Taryn for advice when they had chatted over Skype last night, but she was too worried that Taryn would react extremely badly to finding out that Nick had tracked her down.

“What are you two whispering about?” asked an approaching Paisley, wearing her usual bitchy scowl.

“The weather,” replied Kent.

Paisley rolled her eyes. “Don’t think I don’t know that you’re talking about me behind my back. I’m not stupid.”

Shaya and Kent exchanged an amused look. “Of course you’re not,” he assured the blonde, patting her hand. “No one would ever insinuate otherwise.”

Appearing slightly mollified, she gave him a nod. As Kent went off to grab his coat, Paisley threw Shaya a look filled with utter contempt. “I don’t blame
him
. It’s
you
. Don’t think I’ll let you turn him against me. I can’t believe he’s even friends with you. His mom should have told him not to play with matchsticks.”

Oh, enough with the red hair jokes!
“Don’t things like you hibernate?”

Paisley smirked. “Easy there, ginger ninja.”

“You do realize that my hair isn’t actually ginger, don’t you? It’s red. As a hairstylist, you should know the difference. No, as a person with eyes, you should know the difference.”

“Whatever you say, Agent Orange.”

Bitch
. “Oops, I’ve dropped my clip by your feet.” Crouching, Shaya gently placed her hands over Paisley’s black pumps. “Spread ’em, blondie. Bet you’ve heard that a lot before.”

She gasped. “How crude!” Paisley looked about to snap when something over Shaya’s shoulder caught her attention and she smiled in admiration. “My, my, my.”

Clearly an attractive guy had just walked in. Shaya stood, turned…and gaped as Nick breezed into the salon. His eyes immediately found her, and a small smile curved his mouth. He took slow, confident steps toward her. Off-balance by his totally undivided attention, Shaya might have backed away if she hadn’t felt rooted to the spot by that unblinking stare. Her wolf, too, had frozen.

“Can I help you?” Paisley’s voice was seductive and filled with promise. She had also put on her best invitational smile, but Nick didn’t spare the bitch a glance; he continued to stare at Shaya as if no one else was of any importance. Shaya kind of liked that.

Coming to stand in front of Shaya, Nick fought back the urge to reach out, drag her to him, and take what was his. The need emanating from her wasn’t helping. Spotting his gift at her station, he grinned. “So it came.” Humor danced in her eyes, making his grin widen.

“Oh, hi,” drawled Kent as he returned to Shaya’s side, smiling widely at Nick. “I take it you’ve come to give her a ride home again. Fabulous. It’s chilly out there.” He shoved at Shaya’s back. “See you tomorrow, bright and late.”

Shaya scowled at her supposed friend. “I don’t need a ride. I’m—”

“Perfectly capable of getting yourself home,” Nick finished. “But why would you want to walk when you can be chauffeured around?” Curling an arm around her shoulders, Nick led her toward the door.

Shaya might have fought him—then again, she might not have—but the expression on Paisley’s face stopped her. There was a little too much admiration and lust there for Shaya’s liking. Although Shaya didn’t want to want Nick, she didn’t want Paisley thinking he was available either. Maybe that was petty.…Okay, it was definitely petty. But she did
not
like the thought of Nick with someone else, and she especially did not relish the idea of another female pursuing him.

Inside the car, Nick asked, “Well, did you like your gift?”

Shaya snorted. “It has to be the least romantic thing I’ve ever been given.”

He grinned. “It made you smile. Admit it. You like it.”

Admit it?
Pfft.
“You can take it back, in any case. I don’t like receiving gifts.” It always made her feel awkward.

“You better get used to it, Shay, because I plan to do it again.”

She was about to give a cocky comment when she noticed he was staring right at her mouth. Her breath seemed to get trapped in her throat, and instantly the memory of their kiss assailed her. The heated look on his face said that he was recalling it too.

Shaking off his fantasies of just how Nick could use that sensual mouth of hers, he began driving en route to Shaya’s home. “Hungry?”

Depends what kind of hunger you’re referring to
. But Shaya knew what he meant—she had smelled the spicy curry the second she got in the car. He had clearly gotten takeout and was hoping they could share it together. “I told you yesterday—letting you give me a ride somewhere doesn’t mean anything.”

Nick frowned. “I don’t understand.”

“Giving me a ride and then buying me Indian food isn’t going to make me suddenly let you into my home.”

Realizing where her thoughts had taken her, he drawled, “Oh. I’m afraid you’re a little mistaken. I didn’t buy you takeout. I cooked you a meal—a meal
for you
, not for both of us to enjoy together.” He had no intention of pushing things, pushing
her
.

“You cooked me a meal?”

“You’ve been on your feet all day. I figured the last thing you’d want to do was cook at the end of it. This means you have one less thing to worry about when you get inside.”

Shaya really didn’t know what to do with that. There was no denying he had an ulterior motive—he was trying to win her over; he’d already informed her of this. But he wasn’t doing the alpha thing and being pushy, nor was he doing the mate thing and invading her personal space. He had done something sweet for her and wasn’t expecting anything in return. He was merely hoping to demonstrate that he’d meant everything he said to her, backing it up with actions.

She knew he could have no real idea just how little words meant to her. Mason had given her plenty of words, told her just how special and beautiful she was, and just how proud he was to have her as his true mate. He had given her all the words she could have wanted to hear, using her need for a connection to get what he wanted.

Only actions would make her even consider believing Nick. But she didn’t want him to give her actions; she wanted to stay mad at him and give herself every reason to keep him at a distance. So she wasn’t a happy bunny right now, knowing this big, bad, powerful, and often remote alpha was focused on having her and had done something considerate for her.

But he didn’t tell Kent you were his mate
, a voice in her head reminded her.
He’s not proud to have you.

“You’re angry that I cooked you something?” asked Nick, sensing her mood shift. He tried examining her expression, but she was busy staring out the window. His wolf tensed, honing every sense on her.

“No. It was sweet.” And very convenient because she was an awful cook and she tended to exist on cereal, noodles, and takeouts.

“Then why are you mad at me?”

She folded her arms across her chest. “I’m not mad.”

“Yes, you are.”

“I’m not. I told you, what you did was sweet.”

Then why did she sound like she wanted to rip out his heart and use it as a mallet? “You’re mad that I did something sweet?”

“No.”

“So what’s the problem?” She didn’t answer, just continued to stare out the window. His wolf growled with impatience. “Shay, you gotta help me out here. How can I apologize if I don’t know what I’ve done?”

“I don’t want your apologies anyway.”

“Shay, tell me.”

The dominance and power in his tone made her shudder, and before she knew it, the words came flying out. “You didn’t tell Kent I was your ma—” She quickly cut off her words, annoyed with herself.

“And that pissed you off?” He didn’t understand women and probably never would. “Shay, I’m not good at this. When I was with females in the past…They weren’t relationships. I kept everything casual. Giving any kind of commitment to another female would’ve felt like cheating on my mate. I know some are open to imprinting, but I wasn’t. I wanted to find you.”

“Then I guess I’m a big disappointment to you, huh?”

Taken aback, he said, “Excuse me?”

“It’s always been obvious that you don’t think I’m good enough for you and that you look down on me.” She lurched forward as he suddenly pulled the car to a complete stop at the side of the road. “What the—”

“Would you mind repeating that?” The words rumbled out of him.

“Come on, Nick, you acted like I didn’t exist, like I was nothing to you. What I don’t understand is why, if I wasn’t good enough for you back then, I’m suddenly good enough for you now.”

“Is that really what you think?” he asked in a low voice, shocked. “That I think you aren’t good enough?” He leaned back in his seat, literally feeling like he’d been felled. “Jesus, Shay.”

“Why else would you have totally snubbed me?” she asked rhetorically. There was no anger in her voice as she continued, just exhaustion and sadness. “I can understand how me being submissive is a problem, but that wouldn’t be a reason to ignore me the way you did. It wouldn’t be a reason to drive me to leave. And now that I’ve built a life for myself here and I’m happy, you turn up and say sorry, you’ve changed your mind and you’ve given up your Alpha throne. It makes no sense.”

Sighing, Nick scrubbed a hand down his face. He’d had no idea that she’d interpreted his actions that way.
Shit
. The only way she would understand the truth behind those actions was if he explained everything to her, explained
all
the reasons that had kept him away—even those that he would rather she didn’t know. But that would risk her giving him a chance out of pity. In fact, she might even think he was trying to guilt her into giving him a chance. He wanted to earn that chance, wanted to earn her trust. They’d have no shot without trust anyway. “We need to get one thing straight.”

Although his tone was gentle, the authority there had Shaya instantly giving him her full attention. She couldn’t have ignored him even if she had wanted to. His gaze held hers; there was a hint of anger there. She wasn’t sure if he was angry with her or himself.

“You are everything I ever could have wanted—everything I didn’t even know I wanted. Beautiful, smart, independent, loyal, and you have this sassy, effervescent charm that I wouldn’t have thought would appeal to me. If I thought you weren’t good enough, if you were something I could resist, something I could be without, I wouldn’t be here.” As a familiar ache suddenly began to build behind his eyes, he almost cursed aloud. Great. Another headache was creeping up on him. “Don’t ever again think differently.”

Shaya wasn’t sure what to say to that, so she said nothing.

“My great-uncle from another pack recently died.” Seeing that Shaya was ready to offer her condolences, Nick put a finger to her lips, needing to make his point. “He’d never mated. He told me once how he almost imprinted a long time ago, when he was twenty-one. The reason he hadn’t was that he’d wanted to hold out for his true mate. He never found her. My point is that many take it for granted that they’ll find their mate, but not everybody does. We’re lucky to have found each other. I know I fucked up. I’ve said I’m sorry for hurting you; I meant it. I promised you that I wouldn’t let you down again; I meant it. You might not believe that right now, but you will in time—I won’t have it any other way. You’re mine, and I refuse to live my life without you in it.”

Neither of them spoke during the rest of the drive home. Even when he finally pulled up behind his motor home, he opened Shaya’s door without a word and handed her the large tub that contained the meal he’d cooked. He didn’t look angry with her, but there was hurt there. And another pain too…a pain she didn’t understand. It made her wolf whine, wanting to comfort him. He then merely gave Shaya a nod and gestured for her to go inside. She wanted him to talk to her, wanted to know what that pain was that he seemed to be trying to hide. But showing concern for him could give him the wrong idea, couldn’t it? So she ignored her wolf and her own concern and simply said, “Thanks.”