Carol Finch (20 page)

He inhaled a deep breath and forced out his humiliating confession as fast as he could. “But I didn’t love her the way she loved me. She died so I might live and that’s what’s been killing me. She deserved more from me and I couldn’t give it.”

There. He’d said it. He was ashamed and guilt had been gnawing him for five years. “I know you can’t understand—”

“I can’t?” she interrupted. “You’re wrong, Fletch. I understand all too well.” She stared pointedly toward the cabin. “Mick has been my friend forever and he loves me, whether or not he should. He took a bullet in attempt to protect me, just as Elaina took one for you.” Her attention shifted back to Fletch. “You didn’t have the chance to repay Elaina by marrying her. But I do. Mick survived and he wants me. He will make a good husband and he is a trustworthy friend.”

Fletch felt his heart constrict at the thought of never hearing her whispered words of love again. He hated the thought of another man—even a well-deserving man—taking his place in her arms. He understood that she felt as obliged to marry Mick, as he’d felt obliged to track Grady to avenge Elaina’s death. Paybacks, he mused. They drove a person obsessively…and guilt went along for the ride.

“Mick
will
make a good husband,” Fletch had to agree. “He’s honorable and reliable. I can’t give you one good reason why you shouldn’t marry him. There’s no doubt about his sincerity. He loves you…but then, so do I, Savanna.”

He shut his mouth—fast. Damn it, he shouldn’t have said that, especially when she had a better proposal on the table. Hell, even he knew Mick was the better choice.

Her mouth fell open and she blinked owlishly. “You
what?
”

“I’m sorry. Now is not the time or the place. I know you said what you said to me last night because passion was doing your talking.”

She arched a brow. “You don’t think I know my own mind?”

“In most instances, yes. But your emotions are all over the place because of the hell you’ve been through. But I swear, Vanna, what I feel for you is what I
should have
felt for Elaina and couldn’t…if that makes any sense.”

Fletch told himself to shut up but once he got started the words kept flooding out like water bursting from a broken dam. “I was afraid I’d become incapable of love because of the things I’ve seen and had to do in the line of duty. But I know what love is because my feelings for you are beyond anything I’ve ever experienced. I’m in love with you,” he assured her solemnly. “But I have nothing to offer you. Mick does.

“Mick can give you a home, a reliable income and he will be here constantly. My job takes me all over the place and all I have to offer you is my heart, which isn’t that much of a bargain—

“Oooff.”
Fletch staggered back a step when Savanna launched herself at him unexpectedly. His arms came around her waist as she hooked her legs around his hips. She kissed him for all she was worth and he kissed her back just as urgently.

“This is what I wish I could feel for Mick,” she murmured. “But I don’t, Fletch. It’s killing me because I gave my heart and soul to
you,
only you, and I’ll never get them back.”

Fletch buried his face against her neck and held her close to his heart. Her enticing scent filled his senses. He raised his head to stare into her mesmerizing eyes that
were alive with irrepressible spirit. “I need you, Vanna. I’ve tried not to, but I do. When I found you gone this morning I felt like something vital had gone missing. I don’t feel complete without you.”

He glanced sideways when he noticed a shadowy form in the doorway. Fletch sighed regretfully when Mick stepped into view. The tribal police chief looked pale, weak and disappointed.

Fletch felt like the world’s biggest heel.

He released his grasp on Savanna and set her to her feet. He stared at Mick over the top of her curly auburn head, silently asking forgiveness for loving the same woman.

“I shouldn’t have asked her,” Mick murmured. “I knew I was preying on her sympathy, but I asked her anyway.”

“Mick, I’m sorry,” Savanna whispered brokenly.

“Don’t be.” Mick managed a rueful smile. “It was a selfish request. You don’t look at me the way you look at Fletch. As much as you mean to me, Savvy, it would hurt too much to hold you and know that you want to be with him. I want you to be happy, even if it can’t be with me.”

Tears were streaming down Savanna’s cheeks and she muffled a sniff. “You will always be my friend, Mick.” She walked over to him then pushed up on tiptoe to press a heartfelt kiss to his lips. “I do love you in my own way, Mick. Never doubt that.”

Fletch watched Mick drape his good arm around her shoulder as she urged him back to bed. How was it possible to feel so bad and so good at the same time? He knew how awful he’d feel if Savanna had accepted Mick’s proposal. Yet, he was practically floating on a cloud because she had chosen him.

Where they would live and what he would do, he had
no idea. Certainly, he wouldn’t be satisfied riding off on forays with the Rangers and leaving her to her own devices. He’d worry about her the entire time he was gone. He certainly couldn’t take her with him—although she was enough of a daredevil to want to go.

When Savanna exited the cabin, Fletch held out Rambler’s reins. “Your father is going to have a fit if I ask for your hand,” he predicted.

“Probably. Are you asking?”

“Probably.” He grinned as they trotted toward Main Street. “Will you say yes, even if your father won’t?”

“Maybe.” She smiled impishly. “But you might want to retract your proposal when you find out that I haven’t been completely honest with you.”

Fletch stared dubiously at her. “Dishonest with me about what?”

Savanna became sidetracked when she saw Bill Solomon, Hawk and her father file from the jail with ten prisoners in chains. Grady Mills led the way. Several of Oliver’s henchmen tramped along behind him. Oliver Draper brought up the rear of the procession.

Her gaze darted to Fletch, studying his reaction to seeing his ex-partner and long-lost father shuffling toward the train that had just arrived at the station.

“Savvy!” her father called when he sighted her.

Savanna bounded from Rambler’s back to rush into her father’s outstretched arms.

“Hawk tells me that I’m indebted to Fletch for saving your life,” he murmured as he hugged the stuffing out of her. “I’m going to have to be nice to him, aren’t I?”

“I’m afraid so. He loves me, Papa, and I love him. Like you and Morningstar.”

She knew she had him with that. He’d been all set to become stubbornly overprotective, but she had taken the wind out of his sails.

Her father stared over her head at Fletch. “You damn well better be prepared to marry my daughter,” he said gruffly. “And you better be prepared to wait to have the wedding until I return from helping Bill transport these prisoners to Texas.”

“Yes, sir. However long it takes.”

Fletch stared into Savanna’s beguiling face and knew he’d wait forever. She had all of his heart and that was never going to change. He just wanted to spend the rest of his life with Savanna. Doing what? He still had no idea. He had no home. He had no property because the whites had taken the Apacheria in Texas and deeded it away. All he had was the sizable savings account of bounty money and salary that he never got around to spending.

The train whistle pierced the air. Fletch glanced absently toward the platform where the prisoners waited to be marched into a boxcar. His eyes popped when Shiloh Drummond Hawk, looking as striking as ever, appeared beside the conductor.

“Uh-oh,” Hawk chirped from beside him.

“Uh-oh is right,” Fletch agreed, snickering.

He grinned when Shiloh’s alert green-eyed gaze scanned the area. When she caught sight of Hawk, her gaze narrowed and she crossed her arms beneath her breasts in a gesture that testified to her irritation. If looks could maim, Hawk would’ve been cut off at the knees.

“Here comes the hell you said you’d have to pay for showing up here.” Fletch chuckled. “Better start groveling, Hawk.”

Hawk strode toward his wife and opened his arms. Shiloh’s frown turned into a welcoming smile as she dashed to him. One thing about Shiloh, Fletch recalled. She didn’t hold a grudge for long. She was too much in love with Hawk not to be pleased and relieved that he was all right.

“That must be Shiloh,” Savanna murmured as she watched the couple kiss each other hungrily, right in the middle of the street.

“That it is.” Fletch glided his arm around Savanna’s waist to pull her close. “Hawk worships the ground she walks on and he isn’t ashamed to admit it.” He leaned down and said, “I’m not afraid to admit it, either. I want us to have what they share…and more. I love you like crazy, Vanna.”

She leaned her head against his sturdy shoulder, feeling her heart swell with so much love and happiness that she thought it might burst.

“Shi, this is Savanna Cantrell.” Hawk introduced his wife. “She was wanted for a double murder so we broke her out of jail because Fletch loves her. Turns out, she’s as innocent as she claimed. We’ll probably be seeing a lot of her from now on. More family and all that.”

Shiloh chuckled at Hawk’s boiled-down version of the incident. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Savanna. Welcome to the fold. I’m tired of being surrounded by men all the time.” She surprised Savanna by walking over to give her an enthusiastic greeting hug. “I’m glad the situation has been resolved.”

Savanna nodded. “With your husband’s invaluable help it was.” She gestured toward the unsightly marks on her throat. “Otherwise you might have arrived in time to attend my necktie party.”

Shiloh smiled in relief. “I’m glad you’re okay.” She
shifted her attention to Fletch. “I’m glad you’re all right, too. Your brother was worried sick about you.”

Hawk snorted. “I wasn’t
that
worried about him.”

Shiloh arched a challenging brow. “You better have been exceptionally worried to leave me behind the way you did.”

Hawk grinned and changed his tune quickly. “I was worried sick. Beside myself with concern… How are the boys?”

“See for yourself, love.” Shiloh directed his attention toward the train. “My brothers, Noah and Gideon,” she added for Savanna’s benefit, “insisted on coming along to assist you and to help me with the boys.”

Savanna smiled at the two adorable children who wrapped themselves around their handsome uncles’ necks. “I want two of those,” she murmured confidentially.

Fletch chuckled. “Which ones?”

“The boys. I’m not in the market for more men. I’m so well satisfied with the one I have that I’m keeping him.”

“In that case we’ll start trying tonight,” he said, waggling his brows suggestively. “With your father out of town, I’d like to make use of your feather bed. Or
any
bed,
for once.
”

The titillating thought sent a wave of anticipation flooding through Savanna. Their gazes locked and desire sizzled between them.

“You should get a room,” Hawk teased when he intercepted the heated glances. Grinning, he took his wife’s arm and urged her toward the depot. “We’ll see you later for supper. There are two people I want Shiloh to see from a distance before they board the train.”

Savanna was curious if Fletch wanted to have one last word with his father and the man he’d chased for five
years. She was surprised to note that she was still the focus of his undivided attention.

“Take me home, sweetheart,” Fletch insisted. “I want to be alone with you. I want you naked, wearing nothing but me.”

She went hot all over as she pivoted toward her horse. “If I take you home, I should warn you that I plan to keep you forever.”

When he grinned, her heart nearly melted down her rib cage. “Good. And don’t think I’ll let you leave me behind again. You’ve done it too many times already.
Don’t
do it again.”

“Yes, sir.” She gave him a snappy salute and an impudent grin. “And here I thought you loved the chase and the pursuit. It is what you do, isn’t it?”

“Not anymore. I’ve served my time with the Rangers,” he declared. “I’m ready to devote my time and energy to keeping you happy.”

“I like the sound of that,” she murmured as they rode off.

“What is it that you want to confide to me?” Fletch prompted as they entered the Cantrell cabin a half hour later.

Savanna unbuttoned his shirt then splayed her hands over the muscular wall of his chest. Touching him caused her thoughts to derail. When Fletch stilled her hands and raised a questioning brow, she gave herself a mental shake.

“It’s about where we might live. Well, at least in part.”

“Not here with your father,” he said quickly. “I want you all to myself. Hawk lived with his two brothers-in-law while he was building their new home. He doesn’t recommend it.”

She took his hand and led him toward her bedroom. “Remember Whispering Falls in the Arbuckle Mountains?”

“Yes. That’s where I first saw you naked. Spectacular. The falls, too,” he added with a rakish grin.

“The property belongs to Morningstar. She deeded it to me because Willow—”

She stopped abruptly and he squeezed her hand comfortingly. She had tried to make peace with her devastating loss, but she knew Fletch was right. Getting over her grief would take time.

“You want to build a cabin by the falls?” he prompted gently.

“If that’s agreeable to you. There are plenty of mountain meadows and springs to provide food and water for us and for herds of cattle and horses.”

“I can live with that.” He cupped her chin in his hand and uplifted her face to his tender kiss. “If that is all, I’d like to focus on more pleasurable pursuits before we ride back into town to meet my family at the hotel restaurant for dinner.”

“One more thing,” she murmured as she glided her hands beneath his gaping shirt then recklessly cast it toward the chair—and missed it by a mile. “It’s about my inheritance.”

“Not to worry, love. I have a nest egg that will tide us over until we receive profit from livestock sales.”

“Glad to hear that, but—”