Carrying the Lost Heir's Child (8 page)

Eight

L
ily resisted the urge to throw her phone, and she would pull the childish tantrum if she didn’t have to go through the annoyance of getting a new one.

But she wasn’t one to waste money.

For pity’s sake, she was so sick of certain people in the industry—ahem, producers, actors, etc.—assuming that because they were a big name, she would jump at the chance to work with them. Then when she declined, the offer of more money really set her teeth to grinding. She couldn’t be bought, something they found hard to believe.

Thankfully her agent, Ian, had called with the movie options and the ridiculous counteroffers. He was still trying to find her a film that could accommodate her expanding belly, but Lily wasn’t sure how work would fit into the life she was envisioning with Nash. The baby was no problem. A relationship with Nash? How would he feel about Hollywood? There was no way she could stay away from the limelight and she knew he was a private man. He’d made no definite declarations to her, yet she found herself hoping everything would work out, because she truly wanted this amazing man in her life, and not just for the baby.

Swinging her legs around, she propped her feet up on the leather sofa and settled back against the cushioned armrest. This relaxing nonsense was getting really old really fast and she had only been here a few days. If this lasted her entire pregnancy she would go insane.

Added to that, Nash was very attentive to her needs. Okay, wait, that wasn’t a bad thing at all. But the man wouldn’t let her do anything for herself. He insisted she take it easy and rest until her next appointment when the doctor would come and assess her.

Funny, Lily didn’t recall agreeing to stay with him that long. Apparently he’d assumed she would just live here. That was definitely a talk they would be having soon. At some point she’d have to leave, to pack her things and go back to her life. She didn’t want all of this uncertainty in her future.

And she was still reeling from the news that Nash was Damon Barrington’s son. Even though her first gut reaction was anger, she had to give Nash the benefit of the doubt. The man was obviously torn. He was struggling with this new identity and working as a groom to get close to his biological father. How could she hold that against him?

He hadn’t deliberately lied to her and she’d seen the turmoil he’d battled with over revealing the truth to her. What had he done before coming to the Barringtons’ estate? Had he been a groom elsewhere? She assumed he worked with horses since he’d told her he did that as a child. Obviously love for the animals and hard work were in his blood.

Had she been in his shoes, she wouldn’t have disclosed her secret to a virtual stranger, either.

Oh, how fate had other plans for them. Lily never would’ve dreamed she’d be living in Nash’s cottage, pregnant with his child while he debated on when and how to drop the paternity bomb on the racing mogul.

The sooner the past came out, the better. Wasn’t that true for any type of potential relationship?

The front door opened and closed seconds before Nash’s heavy footfalls moved through the foyer. He rounded the arched doorway into the living room and offered her a half smile.

“You look like I feel.” She rested an arm along the back of the couch, taking in his lean form as he propped a shoulder against the door frame. “Bad day?”

“I’m grabbing a shower and heading back to the estate.” Nash ran a hand along his short beard, around to the back of his neck as he let out a sigh. “I’m going to tell him.”

Lily jerked up, gripping the back of the couch. “Does he know you’re coming back?”

“Yeah.”

Lily couldn’t believe he was ready to take this step. She knew he wanted to, but she had no idea he was doing it so soon after telling her. Had opening up to her released something else in him? Something that made him want to get his life in order before the baby came? And, dare she hope, for them to move forward together?

“Do you want me to come?”

Nash’s eyes met her, his toe-curling smile spread across his face. “I would, but only if you’re comfortable going.”

Lily came to her feet, smoothing her simple cotton dress down her legs. Rounding the couch, she crossed the cozy living room. Encircling his neck with her arms, Lily answered his devastating smile with her own.

“I don’t want to assume anything in any part of your life, Nash. I know our relationship has been a whirlwind, but I don’t think you should go through this alone.”

“Damn, I want to hold you,” he told her, resting his forehead against hers. “But I smell like the ass end of that stable and I need a shower.”

Lily laughed as she settled a quick peck on his lips. “I don’t mind, you know. But, go shower. I’ll throw on my shoes and pull my hair back real quick.”

Nash’s brows rose. “That’s all you’re going to do?”

“Uh, yeah, why?” Stepping back and narrowing her gaze, she crossed her arms. “Are you saying I need to change or put makeup on? I know you’re used to seeing me all made up on set, but this is the real me, Nash. No fuss and kind of boring.”

His hand snaked out, wrapped around her arm and tugged her until she fell against his chest. “I’m a much bigger fan of the no-fuss Lily. I’m just still surprised that you don’t care about getting all made up to leave the house.”

With a shrug, she laid her palms against his taut T-shirt. “I’m not like most women and I’m definitely not like most Hollywood women. I’m pretty low-key when I’m not working.”

Nash’s hands roamed down to cup her bottom as he pulled her hips against his. “That’s a good thing. Now let me get in the shower and stop manhandling me or we’ll be late.”

Rolling her eyes, Lily laughed as he kept squeezing her backside. “Yes, of course. What was I thinking?”

As he moved down the hallway, Lily watched him go. The confident stride, the wide shoulders pulling the material of his sweat-soaked T was beyond sexy and his sense of humor only added to his appeal. She found they were growing more and more comfortable with each other outside the bedroom, not that their passion had diminished any, either.

Within thirty minutes they were in Nash’s truck, making the ten-minute drive to the Barrington estate. Lily was nervous for him, but he seemed pretty relaxed with his wrist dangling over the steering wheel, his other hand lightly holding on to hers in her lap.

“So what happened with you today?” he asked, breaking the silence. “Are you feeling bad?”

“No, nothing like that.” She glanced out the side window, taking in the beautiful farms with the acres of white fencing as far as the eye could see. “I’ve been on the phone off and on with Ian. He’s still trying to find a part for me that will work with this pregnancy. There was one role that would have been a good fit, but I just turned it down before you got home.”

“Turned it down? Why?”

“I’m not ready to commit to something long-term just now.” She turned to face him, loving the comfortable feel of his hand wrapped around hers, loving even more how fast they were venturing beyond their physical connection. “Besides, the producer is beyond arrogant and he assumed I’d jump at the script. To be honest, if this was another time, with no complications, I would’ve sucked it up and taken the film.”

“Then take it,” he told her simply. “Don’t let anything hold you back. If they want you, they’ll work around the baby.”

“I know they will.” She wasn’t so sure they would work around the fact that she was falling in love and had no clue where she would end up if Nash wanted a future. “It felt good to say no, though. Money is a big part of negotiating contracts, but he just flashes it like it’s the red flag and we’re the bull charging in after it.”

Perhaps that sounded petty, but she wasn’t one to be swayed so easily.

“I just have issues with people throwing money around, thinking that will buy them happiness or anything else they want,” she went on. “My stepfather kind of ruined me for the rich type. That sounds strange coming from me with what I pull in per film, but I’ve never thrown my money around and I certainly have never tried to buy someone to get my way.”

Nash tensed. “Not everybody with a lot of money is bad and sometimes they have good intentions but things can still go wrong.”

Lily wasn’t quite sure how to respond and she was quite frankly shocked that Nash was defending the upper class. But it wasn’t worth arguing about and she held tightly to his hand as they pulled into the Barringtons’ entrance. The wrought-iron gates, with a scrolling
B
on each side, were standing wide-open, inviting them in.

The long, picturesque drive leading back to the property, showcased the horses out in the pasture and led the way to the grand stone stable up ahead. Of course the family famous for their world-renowned success in the horse racing industry would have something that monumental in their lives front and center.

The months she’d spent filming on this farm and in the surrounding area were some of the best of her life. The small-town atmosphere, the intimate setting and getting to know the family of the story she was depicting was icing on the cake. She’d really grown close to Cassie, Tessa and Damon, and even their cook, Linda. The Barringtons might be small in numbers, but they made up for it in love and determination. Lily wanted that kind of family bond, craved it actually.

Her hand went to her flat stomach and she couldn’t help but think ahead to the future about what life would be like with a child...and if the man beside her would be part of it.

“You sure you’re ready to do this?” she asked when he pulled up in the circular drive and stopped near the front entrance.

Nash pulled their joined hands up to his lips, kissed the back of hers and gave her a big squeeze. “More than ready.”

“What reason will you give them that I’m still here?”

Nash shrugged. “What do you want me to say?”

Lily prided herself on the truth, but she still wasn’t ready to disclose her pregnancy to the world, yet. She also didn’t want this to be about her or the baby at all. This was Nash’s moment to possibly connect with a family he hadn’t known existed.

And she was still unsure if she would be part of his family once they really sat down and talked about the future.

One monumental moment at a time.

“We can just tell them we met when I first started filming and became friends and I decided to hang around for a while and take a mini-vacation since the shoot was done.”

Nash shot her his signature naughty grin. That sexy smile never failed to arouse her because she knew firsthand what that smile looked like as he rose above her just before he joined their bodies.

“I’m pretty sure they’ll know we’re more than friends,” he told her.

“That’s fine,” she said with a shrug, realizing she truly didn’t care.

She trusted this family to keep things private. They understood the way the media worked, considering they were celebrities in their own right with the Barrington sisters making history with their wins. Besides, she’d come to consider them friends and if she wanted to pursue something more with Nash, she needed to get used to opening herself to those that could quite possibly be a big part of his life.

“I’m just not adding any more information than that and I’m not bringing up the pregnancy. Besides, when you tell them the news, I’ll be all but forgotten.”

“You could never be forgotten.” He smacked a kiss on her hand. “I’m not ready to let our little secret out, either. I like having you and this baby to myself for now.”

Nash leaned across the center console, slid a hand along her jawline and captured her lips. Those soft, talented lips had been all over her body, yet when he kissed her with such tenderness and care, she couldn’t help but wonder if he held back feelings and emotions he was afraid to express out loud.

Because his silent actions were screaming that he was falling in love with her. Heaven help her, she wanted him to be just as torn as she was. She wanted to know that as she entered into this unknown territory of what she felt could be true love, that she wasn’t alone.

“Let’s go,” he murmured against her lips.

Nine

N
ash couldn’t let his mind drift to the conversation he had with Lily about her career and he sure as hell couldn’t think about how his emotions regarding her were tying him up in knots. He was here for one reason and one reason only—to figure out what Damon Barrington would do with the paternity bomb Nash was about to drop.

“Well, we’re all here.” Damon smiled, crossing an ankle over his knee in his wingback leather chair in the living room as though he hadn’t a care in the world. “I’m anxious to hear what you have to say.”

Cassie and Tessa sat on the sofa, their matching bright blue eyes locked on his. Didn’t they see it? Hadn’t they noticed how they all had the exact same shade of cobalt-blue eyes? He’d purposely not worn contacts when he’d come to the estate, perhaps in hopes that someone would mention his eye color.

Nash sat next to Lily on the other sofa across from Tessa and Cassie. A rich mahogany coffee table sat between them, adorned with a perfect arrangement of summer flowers. The Barrington home was just as lavish and beautiful as his own...a home he was itching to get back to. A home he wanted to show Lily.

The Barrington clan had been surprised to see Lily, but had bought the friend story...or at least they hadn’t questioned any further.

Even though Lily wasn’t touching him, just her presence beside him was all the support he needed. Lily was his rock right now.

“I’ve really enjoyed my time working here,” he began, fighting off the nerves that threatened to consume him. “I’ve gotten to know all of you and was able to witness history firsthand when Tessa won the Triple Crown. I celebrated even though I was here and not at the race. Being on the ranch during filming was pretty amazing, too.”

“You sure you’re not quitting?” Damon chimed in. “This sounds like a lead into a resignation.”

Nash shook his head and offered a smile. “I assure you, I’m not quitting.”

“Is everything okay?” Cassie asked, her brows drawn in.

The two women on the opposite couch were so similar, yet so different. Both had long, crimson hair and those striking blue eyes, but where Tessa was lean and athletic, Cassie was curvy and softer. Both were beautiful, dynamic women and he realized just how much he wanted to be part of their lives.

Damn it. He’d never let himself be vulnerable before. Business had always ruled his life and in that aspect he kept control gripped in a tight fist. His mother was the only person he’d ever let affect him emotionally. But, in a sense, he was also here for her. It was time the secret came out. She deserved to be free of any guilt or residual turmoil and he deserved to know where he stood in his father’s life.

“Everything is fine,” Nash assured them. Unable to stay seated another minute, he came to his feet and paced behind the couch. “This is harder than I thought.”

Along the mantel sat photos in pewter frames, some pictures were of the girls as children, some of Damon’s late wife, Rose, but they all depicted the family and the love they shared.

He’d missed out on all of that. But he couldn’t blame his mother. She’d made the choices she thought best under the circumstances. Besides, what’s done was done and now he just had to figure out the best way to deal with the facts he had...and still get all he wanted in the end.

“I need to start at the beginning.” He turned to face them, rested his hands on his hips. “My mother used to work on this estate years ago. She actually worked here as a trainer before I was born.”

Damon’s eyes widened. “Other than Cassie, I’ve only employed one other female trainer.”

Nash’s heart beat so hard, so fast. He waited, letting the impact truly sink in as he kept his eyes on Damon’s.

“Your mother was Elaine James?” Damon asked, almost in a stunned whisper.

Both Cassie and Tessa turned their eyes to their father. Nash waited, wanting to see how the events would unfold before he continued.

“Who’s Elaine James?” Tessa asked before glancing back to Nash.

“She was one of the best horse trainers in the industry at one time,” Damon told her, still staring at Nash. “I used her during a period when female trainers were frowned upon, but some owners snuck around that. She kept her hair really short, wore a hat and would come in early in the mornings and late at night to work with the horses.”

Nash knew all of this, had heard his mom tell that same story over and over of how women were gentler and less competitive by nature so Damon had wanted a woman for the job.

“When my mother left here to take care of her parents, she went to work at another farm several hours away,” Nash went on. He forced himself to keep his focus on Damon. Right now, nothing else mattered but gauging the older man’s reaction. “It wasn’t too long after she’d left that she realized she was pregnant with me.”

Damon’s gasp nearly echoed in the spacious room. Lily sat quietly with her hands in her lap, but Cassie and Tessa’s eyes widened as if they were putting the pieces together.

“This can’t be,” Damon whispered, his eyes darting around the room frantically, then back to lock on Nash’s. “You—”

“I’m your son.”

There. He’d admitted half of the truth that had weighed heavily on his shoulders since first arriving here several months ago.

Now what? He honestly hadn’t planned this far ahead. He’d definitely planned on the end result, but he hadn’t factored in all the uncomfortable moments—and now was one of them.

Stunned silence settled over the room. Lily hadn’t moved, she merely sat with her eyes locked on his as if silently sending him support. When his gaze landed on hers, she offered a sweet smile of encouragement.

“Nash, forgive me, but I’m going to need more proof than just your word,” Damon finally said. “Where is your mother now?”

Nash came around the couch, taking a seat next to Lily again. Now that the secret was out, or part of it anyway, he could somewhat relax for the moment. But he still kept the upper hand.

“I don’t blame you for not taking just my word,” Nash told the older man. “My mom had a stroke about six months ago. She’s doing much better now, but right after the scare, she confessed that she used to work for you and the two of you were...involved.”

Nash refused to elaborate.

“Why didn’t she tell me?” Damon asked, his brows drawn in, shoulders stiff. “Once she left, I never heard from her again.”

Even through years of rivalry and more recently while working here in a more personal setting, Nash had never seen Damon so stunned.

“When she left to take on a new role at another farm, she had no idea she was pregnant.” Nash rested his elbows on his knees, lacing his fingers together as he looked from his half-sisters to his father. “From what she told me, by the time she found out and got the courage to come back and tell you, she was about eight months pregnant. She worried you wouldn’t believe her, or that you would marry her just for the baby and she didn’t want you to feel trapped. But she wanted you to know. She said she came back to town and all the buzz was about you and Rose and your recent engagement.”

Nash recalled his mother’s watery confession when she’d begged him to forgive her for not following through and going to Damon. She’d apologized for keeping Nash from his biological father and said that the years of seeing them as rivals in the industry had nearly killed her.

But how could Nash blame her or be angry? She was young, alone and scared. He sure as hell had no place to judge anyone keeping a secret.

“She told me she didn’t want to ruin your relationship with your fiancée,” Nash went on. “So she ended up having me and raising me on her own.”

The words settled in the air and Nash had to fight to keep from reaching out for Lily’s hand. He wanted her familiar touch for support, but more than anything he wanted to reassure her that their baby would always know her place in a family.

Damon rubbed his forehead as if still processing all this information. “Did she ever marry?”

Was he asking as a man who once cared for Nash’s mother or was Damon asking from a father’s standpoint, worried about his son having a male role model?

“She did when I was about ten.”

“Yet you still have her last name,” Damon said, shifting in his seat. “Your stepfather didn’t adopt you?”

This was the part of coming clean that was about to get tricky. He had to proceed cautiously because one slip of the tongue and all hell would break loose as the complete truth was finally revealed.

“He did,” Nash replied. “I chose to still use my mother’s maiden name.”

Okay, that was a lie, but Damon couldn’t know Nash’s true identity...not until Nash was ready to share that fact. And the first person he owed the real truth to was Lily.

Wow, his priorities had definitely shifted since he’d first arrived at Stony Ridge Acres. When the hell did that happen? When did contemplating his next step automatically have his mind shifting to how Lily would react or how Lily would feel?

“So you’ve been here all this time...spying on us?” Tessa asked, her eyes narrowed as she took both hands and shoved her hair away from her face. “Why not say something right at first? Why the lies?”

Nash cleared his throat. “I wasn’t sure I wanted to reveal the truth, to be honest. I’ve always worked with horses and before I could really make up my mind on how to handle the situation after I learned the truth, the groom position came open. I couldn’t pass it up.”

“You couldn’t have told us who you were before now?” Cassie’s eyes were softer, yet still guarded like her sister’s.

Yes, he could’ve, but he’d been busy trying to buy out Damon’s prizewinning horses and in his spare time he’d been getting naked with Lily. His priorities had taken a hard turn into unexpected territory.

“I understand this makes an impact on all of your lives,” he began, choosing his words carefully. “I had to see if this was even a family that would welcome me, or if I should keep the secret and eventually just leave quietly.”

Lily did reach over now and squeezed his hand. The gesture wasn’t lost on the Barrington sisters whose eyes darted in their direction.

Nash didn’t want to think how that silent action truly spoke volumes for how supportive Lily was and how, right at this moment, his emotions meant more to her than what other people assumed or thought. Damn it. He didn’t deserve her loyalty, her kindness and innocence. He was lying to her and no matter how he justified it, no matter how he knew there had been no way around the secrets, he was still in a relationship with a woman who didn’t even know his real name.

“And you’ve deemed us fit to be in your life now?” Tessa came to her feet, tugged the hem of her shirt down and crossed her arms. “I’m skeptical, for sure, but more than anything I’m a little hurt you basically spied on us.”

Nash nodded. “I expected all of you to feel that way, but I had to do what was best for me and my mom. My stepfather is gone and I’ve taken care of her for years. I have to put her wishes and feelings above anything else.”

“She was okay with you coming here?” Damon chimed in.

“She left that decision up to me,” Nash informed him. “But she was worried that, at this point, I would disrupt your lives.”

“I have a brother,” Cassie whispered, her eyes filling.

“Cass,” Damon warned. “We still need proof, though I’m pretty sure Nash is telling the truth.”

“It’s the eyes,” Cassie said with a wide smile as she swiped her damp cheeks. “He’s got our eyes.”

Obviously not one to show emotions, Tessa turned to her father. “How could you go from his mother to our mom in such a short period of time?” she asked, throwing her arms wide. She still hadn’t sat back down and Nash was pretty sure she really wanted to storm out. She was definitely the more vocal sister.

Damon eased back in his chair, his hands gripping the leather armrests. “Without getting into details you all probably don’t want to hear, Elaine and I were attracted to each other, but we never fell in love or even mentioned a relationship beyond the physical. Once she left, I met Rose and love at first sight was something I had believed to be a myth until I saw her. We met one day, went on our first date the next and were inseparable. She was it for me.”

Nash swallowed. His mother had pretty much said the same thing. She and Damon hadn’t been in love, just young lovers having a good time. And they were from two different worlds, which was probably frowned upon at that time.

The beginning of his mother and Damon’s relationship mirrored that of Lily and himself. Only Nash had every intention of a different ending.

“Your eyes,” Tessa murmured as she slowly maneuvered around the coffee table and sat on the other side of him. “I knew when you first came here that there was something about you.”

Nash nodded, trying not to get too wrapped up in these emotions that threatened to rise to the surface. “I saw it first thing, too.”

He hadn’t even realized until this moment just how much he wanted the girls and Damon to accept him. He may have more money than he would ever need or know what to do with, but there was one thing money couldn’t buy...a family. And deep inside, that’s what he’d always wanted.

“You really are my brother?” she asked, her voice cracking.

Nash smiled. “Yeah, I am.”

“So what now?”

Nash shifted to focus back on Damon, who still had his silver brows drawn as if he didn’t know whether to be confused or angry. This was another part of the plan that he’d have to tread lightly on because as much as Nash wanted to get those horses, he also wanted this family. He just had to figure out a way to cleverly capture it all.

“That’s up to you,” Nash told his father. “I love working here, but I understand if you aren’t able to trust me right now.”

“No,” Cassie said, shaking her head. “You’ve proven yourself. Right, Dad? Nash is the hardest working groom we’ve ever had.”

Damon nodded, easing forward in his seat. “You’re more than welcome to keep working here, Nash. And, if you own any horses, feel free to house them here.”

Oh, the irony. Between the double families, the Barringtons, Lily and his baby, and the horse ownership, Nash was spinning in circles and feared he’d have a hard time keeping all of his lies straight before he could present them in a justifiable manner.