Cartography for Beginners (38 page)

"We're getting there," Leo said. "I know what he wants to hear. I don't know if I'm quite ready to say it."

"What does he want you to say?"

Leo raised his eyebrows at Dune. "What do you think?"

"Oh," said Dune. "Really? Stuart Huntsman is waiting for you to say you love him before he goes any further?"

"I know," Leo said. "Strange, isn't it?"

Dune pursed his lips, and then said, "No. It makes perfect sense when you think about it. All these years he's only dated men who didn't mean anything, who couldn't hurt him because they didn't mean anything. He's been protecting himself. Then you come along, Daddy-daddy, and you found the chink in his armor. You
are
the chink in his armor."

Leo looked out at the valley again, pondering.

"You could always exchange your ticket for an open-ended one," Dune said. "I'd love to come here for Christmas."

"I couldn't leave you, Dunie."

Again Dune fell silent, and then said, "Yes, you could. Dad, I'm fine. I'm a lot better, and I've got so many people in the city to help me when I need help. The Moms are only a phone call away -- you'd only be a phone call away if I needed you. And I've got Micah. He'll always take care of me. You know that."

"I know," Leo said.

"You've given up so much for me over the years," Dune said. "You could have been an actor, like you wanted. You could have traveled more. You could have left Adam and found someone who suited you better." He swallowed.

"He was a good father to you," Leo said.

"Most of the time, yeah, but he wasn't a good boyfriend for you."

"I know," Leo mused. "But I have a job at home. I have an apartment."

"You could get another job," Dune said. "Maybe even in the theater. And I think Stuart could find a corner for you to sleep in if you asked nicely."

"He does have a few corners. He could fit me next to the Picasso and the Etruscan bronze." They smiled at each other. Leo scrubbed his hands through his hair and looked out at the valley. "I fell in love with Adam at first sight. It was like being hit by a car, it stunned me so much. What I feel for Stuart, it's not like that."

Dune said slowly, "Love doesn't have to be a thunderbolt to be real. Sometimes it walks in. Sometimes you look at someone you've looked at a thousand times, and suddenly they're the most beautiful person you've ever seen." He stood and kissed Leo's forehead. "Speaking of, Micah wanted to get to bed early tonight since the next couple days are going to be so busy. Good night, Dad."

"Good night, Dunie. I love you."

"I love you, Dad," said Dune and went inside.

Leo sat on the bench a few minutes more, thinking, and then went inside too. In the living room, Ben and Jamie were lying on the sofa together, quietly talking with only firelight from the hearth to illuminate them. Leo left them undisturbed and climbed the stairs that connected the grange to the new house and stopped at Stuart's room. He knocked softly on the door.

"Come," Stuart said.

Leo turned the knob and leaned into the room. Like Stuart's bedroom in the London house, this room was masculine and simple, black and white and gray, the only splashes of color from the paintings on the walls. There was a sitting room-slash-nook in front of the dormer window, where Stuart sat in an easy chair with his glass of wine. He looked at Leo expectantly.

"I wanted to say good night," Leo said. "So... good night."

"Good night, Leo."

Leo hesitated. "I don't have a plan," he said as he stepped into the room and shut the door behind him. "I don't have a speech rehearsed. I don't even have all the answers. I know I won't be able to sleep until I say this."

"Say what?" said Stuart in the pause that followed, as Leo tried to gather his thoughts.

"You turn my life upside down," Leo blurted and Stuart raised his eyebrows. "But not in a bad way. In the best way possible. I love the city but when you're there I feel like I'm rediscovering it. I'm sorry it took me so long to visit you because London is amazing and I'm completely in love with this place. It's so beautiful." He stopped and exhaled. Stuart shifted in his chair, still watching Leo with what Leo could only call cautious attention. "I think there are a lot of things about you that I'm only beginning to appreciate."

"I see," said Stuart.

"That's all I've got," Leo said. "Maybe one more thing. I don't want you for your kids or the money or the houses or the art collection or any of that. You're still you without all the trappings and I think what you are is pretty damn phenomenal." He nodded. "Okay. I'm done now."

"Thank you," Stuart said softly. Leo nodded again and went to his own room. He expected to lie awake half the night, but sleep came quickly. He dreamed of the vineyard, of chasing a half-seen, laughing creature in white through the vines until he was hopelessly lost and the creature's laughter became no more than an echo against the hillside.

The sun was rising when he woke, yellow-gold beams shining under the linen curtains, and Leo sprawled in the sheets luxuriously until the beam crawled across the floor to the foot of the bed and he could hear stirring in the room above him.

Stuart was already awake when Leo went downstairs. There was coffee brewing, its rich aroma discernible from the stairs, and Stuart had placed out a platter of croissants on the table. He stood in front of the pantry, his hands clasped behind his back. "I can't decide," he said, "big American breakfast or small continental breakfast?"

"Big American breakfast," Leo said and Stuart turned in surprise.

"I thought you were Micah. You walk with his lightness."

"I'm flattered," Leo said. "All is not lost if I can sound like a twenty-four-year-old boy."

"Twenty-five soon." Stuart turned back to the pantry. "Big American breakfast, eh? We may need to form a committee."

"Let me," Leo said. "I haven't cooked for you for far too long. If you've got eggs and milk and cinnamon I could make French toast. No pun intended."

"I have all of that," Stuart said. He had potatoes in a bin tucked into a dim corner of the pantry, too, so Leo set him to peeling while Leo cut thick slices from a loaf of hearty white bread for the toast. The smell of coffee and cinnamon must have woken the boys -- by the time he had slices cooking on the stove top they had come downstairs, still in their pajamas, Dune and Micah looking like they'd woken from a three-day bender. They accepted cups of coffee with mumbled gratitude and leaned against each other at the table. Jamie took over the country-style hash browns at the stove, Ben sliced peaches to put on top of the French toast, and Stuart squeezed orange juice.

"Why don't you ever get jet lag, Leo?" Micah said. "It's not fair."

"Sheer willpower," Leo said, though he didn't know, either. "I suppose I'm at home here." He added hastily, "When do Marc and Amelie arrive?"

"I expect them around noon," Stuart said. "It's two hours' drive from Paris. We won't have supper until eight so I expect we'll want a big lunch to tide us over."

The big test,
Leo thought and paused to squeeze Stuart's shoulder. Stuart smiled at him uncertainly and handed him a ceramic pitcher full of juice.

Amelie and Marc arrived at lunchtime, as expected, and Amelie cried, "Leo!" in her musical voice as soon as she saw him. She was pleased to see them all, kissing their cheeks and introducing her husband, while Gabriel clung to her and peeked out at all these strangers when his curiosity overcame him. It was no surprise to Leo that he warmed to Micah first, since Micah's niece Kitty was nearly the same age and Micah knew how to play with a toddler. He had the boy playing with him and Dune on the grassy courtyard while Marc and Amelie unpacked the car and set up the pigeon house for their use, and when Stuart called them all to lunch, Gabriel let Dune carry him inside.

"Can you say my name?" Dune said as he put Gabriel into his little booster chair. "Can you say 'Dune'?" He patted his chest. "Dune."

"Doooon," Gabriel said, patting Dune's chest, too.

"Dune," Dune said.

"Doooon!" Gabriel crowed and giggled.

"What's French for 'what's my name?'" Micah said.

"
Comment tu m'appelle?
" said Amelie. "But also ask in English. We speak to him in English, too."

Micah said to Gabriel, "What's my name?" as he laid a hand on his chest. "
Comment tu m'appelle?
"

Gabriel screwed up his face a moment before announcing, "M'cah!"

Micah stuck out his tongue at Dune, and then pointed at Stuart, who was at the kitchen island as he put the final touches on their lunch. "What's his name?"

"
Comment s'appelle-t-il?
" said Jamie and Gabriel looked at him as if he were the only person there who made sense.

"Gran'papa!" announced Gabriel.

Stuart paused and Leo could have sworn his eyes welled up a moment. He coughed and looked embarrassed. "
Oui
, Gabriel.
Je suis
Grandpapa.
Je m'appelle
Stuart."

"Grandpapa," Gabriel said, looking confused, and Amelie laughed.

"He doesn't quite understand what the family words mean. As far as he's concerned, my name is Mama."

"Mama," Gabriel confirmed and cuddled to her. Amelie kissed his hair.

"There's plenty of time to get to know each other," Stuart said. "Come put your lunches together. There's ham, cheese and mustard, and the baguettes are fresh."

Everyone moved to the island to assemble their sandwiches, and Leo stood back with Stuart to let the young people eat first. "Wasn't Nicole coming with them?"

"That was the plan at one point. But I suppose she changed her mind again." Stuart sighed and leaned his head on Leo's shoulder. "I'll be happy if Jean-Claude doesn't revoke the invitation entirely."

"He won't," Leo said. "Though I do wonder why he isn't having his bachelor party tonight, and Tallis isn't doing her hen night."

"As I understand it, they did it last weekend. He and his friends went to Monte Carlo, and she and her friends went to a spa."

"That's a good plan. That way no one is hung over on the big day."

Stuart gave him a reproving look. "We know how to handle our drink in the Old World."

"Of course you do," Leo said indulgently.

Gabriel fell asleep after lunch, so that left the adults free to wander around the grounds. Micah offered to sit with Gabriel so he wouldn't be frightened by waking up alone in a strange place, and Jamie took Marc and Amelie, along with Dune and Ben, around to show them his murals and the vineyards and whatever else he felt they should see.

Meantime Stuart was overseeing setup in the courtyard for supper that night. While workmen set up a long table and lined it with chairs, a young woman strung fairy lights through the trees and hedges, and another made small bouquets out of stems of lavender and asters for the table. Leo supposed he should join the others for the tour -- he hadn't seen much of the chateau yet, either -- but he preferred to be near Stuart. And, he thought with a wry smile, all he really wanted to see was Stuart's bedroom ceiling. Maybe the wine cellar, too.

"I feel like I'm pestering you," he said to Stuart.

"You never pester me." They smiled at each other.

"It's going to be beautiful," Leo said, looking out at the courtyard. "I don't think they're doing this much preparation for the wedding."

"Oh, just wait," Stuart said. "It may not be as formal as a Parisian wedding but it will be an event, nonetheless. The Merciers have been in the area many generations and Tallis is a stylish young lady. It wouldn't surprise me if she sets a few trends. While this," he said with a shrug, "is a family supper. A big, extended family supper, but a family supper nonetheless. You'd do your brunches like this in your flat if you had the space."

"True," Leo said. "A magical path to lead the diners to the table is what my apartment needs."

Stuart laughed and smiled at him again, warm and affectionate. He said, "Leo," as Leo said, "Stuart," and they both paused and smiled at each other again. "Go ahead," Stuart said.

"I'm glad I came. That's all."

"I'm glad you came too."

"I feel like I'm always discovering new sides to you. There's California-you and London-you, and now Chateau Gauthier-you. And Grandpa-you, which is--" He could only shake his head, unable to find a word for it.

"I know," Stuart said. "I'm still astonished at it. And think, he's been in the world for two years and I didn't even know about him before a few months ago. I'm still reeling."

"You won't let it happen again. That's a step in the right direction."

"I hope so."

The door to the pigeon house opened and Micah came out, carrying a weepy Gabriel. "He wants his mommy," he explained to Leo and Stuart.

"Here, let me," Stuart said and took Gabriel from him, and murmured to him in more complicated French than Leo understood. Gabriel laid his head on Stuart's shoulder with a shuddering sigh, not completely mollified but not wailing, either.

"I'll find the others," Leo said.

"We should all look," Stuart said. "Leo, how about you look in the house and Micah and I will look in the grounds, since we know our way around better."

"Okay," Leo said. He patted Gabriel's back and went into the grange.

***

Micah and Stuart took off in the direction of the barn. "Thank you for being so gentle with Gabriel," Stuart said.

"No problem," Micah said. "I like kids. I am actually ready to be a dad, no matter what everybody else thinks."

"It's a big decision, Micah-child."

"You were younger than I am when Jean-Claude was born," Micah said. "I've done the math."

"Jean-Claude was not a decision -- he was a reality."

"My point is, I'm not a kid anymore. All I'm waiting for is Dune to figure out if he's ready too." He glanced at Stuart. "You're not bad with him, either."

"We've become rather good friends," Stuart said. "He remembers me from visit to visit, at any rate."

"That's always a good sign. I knew Kitty loved me when she came running when I visited. Stuart! How much fun would it be to see these two playing together?"