Cash (Hawthorne Brothers Romance) (5 page)

“I’d rather be a little closer to you tonight, if that’s okay. I thought skin to skin would be as close as we could get,” I said.

“Oh,” he said, perking up, as if he hadn’t thought about that. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

He joined me over at the windows as I watched the cars way down below driving like ants as downtown Los Angeles sat like a dormant titan watching over its city. 

I grabbed my phone, letting Malia know that I’d be gone for the night, though she didn’t reply, since she was likely sleeping already. I knew it was farfetched for a movie star to kidnap and murder me like your average RandomMeetX weirdo, but I wanted to make sure she didn’t worry when she got up.

Cash yawned, making me yawn too, so we ditched our robes and climbed into his bed. His down comforter and pillows were like marshmallows as he wrapped his arms around me, being my big spoon, while I cuddled up quietly to him and heard the pulse of his fan above us, the only noise in the room.

I still couldn’t believe that I was here, that the chance encounter at work led to a night like this, and I knew I didn’t want it to end here. I wanted to see him again, to kiss him again. Maybe I was like a puppy-dog teen right now, but I didn’t care. Sometimes when you find a good man you have to dig your nails into him and make sure you keep him around.

I closed my eyes, my mind drifting away, as I lay in his marshmallow bed and dreamed happy thoughts. Things couldn’t be better.

Chapter Nine

Cash

A small beam of sunlight shone into the corner of my eyes as I squinted and slowly opened them. I turned on my side, facing Jenna, as she was already awake, though it didn’t look like she had been for all that long. “Good morning,” I said with a smile.

“Good morning,” she said, reciprocating the smile. The covers were covering her, almost to her chin. I stretched and sat up in the bed.

“Hungry?” I asked.

“Starved,” she said, sitting up but keeping the covers on her.

“How about I go downstairs and make us something before I have to take you home?” I asked.

“Sounds like a plan. I’ll be down in a minute,” she said. I slipped on some pajama pants and went downstairs.

I felt a slight hangover, nothing serious, and even though I knew she would be here with me, I was still a tiny bit surprised. I guess things went
really
far, and I was hoping that she wouldn’t think things were awkward or that we went too far. Sure, it would’ve been nice to have some time getting to know one another, but it was hard to pass up such primal attraction.

I picked out some eggs, bacon, and pre-made pancake batter you just had to add water to. I shook the bottle before putting a few pans on the stovetop and turning on the gas. It clicked before blue flames shot up and the oil I drizzled into the pans started to heat up. 

She came downstairs and into the kitchen as I poured the pancake batter in and laid the bacon down in a straight line. “It smells wonderful,” she said as she walked up.

“I know it’s not as good as going out somewhere, but I like cooking when I can. It reminds me of being home,” I said.

“Same here. Most of my meals are microwaved or in a box these days,” she said.

She hung around, getting the juice and coffee ready as I finished cooking and plated everything. I’d watched a lot of those cooking competition shows and always tried to make my plates look as good as the ones they had on them. Maybe that was just the actor in me trying a role, I don’t know, but I liked my food to look as good as it tasted.

“So, I wanted to ask you something, I think,” I said as I slathered whipped butter on my pancakes.

“Oh?” she asked, likely confused about my question.

“You don’t think we, you know, went too far last night, do you? I’m not saying I didn’t like it, or didn’t want it, I did, but I don’t want you to think that’s what I was after,” I said stupidly.

“I don’t think that,” she said, smiling. “Yeah, waiting would’ve been nice, but it isn’t a deal-breaker or anything. I was just as willing of a participant as you were, anyway,” she said.

“Good, just making sure,” I said before shutting up. 

Why was I being so awkward? I knew I was, but I couldn’t help it. I guess that old Midwestern part of me was still in there, not yet accustomed to casual sex and dating here in the big city. 

We soon finished our meal, both of us annihilating it, before we cleaned up and went upstairs to get changed. “Walk of shame material right here,” she said as she picked up her dress to put it back on.

“You can keep on my stuff, if you’d like. Plus, it’s insurance that I’ll see you again,” I said.

“Think you need insurance, huh?” she asked as she grabbed her bag and phone.

“You never know,” I replied.

“You’re
probably
safe,” she said with a small laugh, as if she were taunting me.

I opened the car door for her and helped her in before getting in and starting the car. Luckily there were no paparazzi outside my gate, which wasn’t always the case—especially after some of the morning afters with women. They had a penchant for showing up at the wrong time and making me have to call my mother and tell her why I was seen with a woman in the early hours of the morning. That was never a fun or easy call to make.

As we pulled into her apartment complex, our ride eerily silent, I pulled into the same space I did last night before turning off the car and getting out to walk her to her door. I felt nervous, my palms a little sweaty, as I opened her door and helped her out. I liked this girl, and I wanted to see her again, but for some reason I wasn’t totally sure it would happen. I know she
said
I was safe, but I’d been told that before, and being who I was in this world had made me a little bit insecure when it came to things I should be totally fine with. I just didn’t want to be used, and I didn’t want to be made a fool.

“I had a really great time last night with you, Cash. Thank you for dinner, and last night, and for driving me back home and walking me to my door. You’re very sweet,” she said as she took out her keys.

“I had a wonderful time as well, thank you for going out with me. When can I see you again?” I blurted out, as if she had her calendar out and could give me a date, time, and place.

“Are you free tomorrow, Sunday? Maybe we could have a day date and I could see what you’re like outside of nighttime temptations?” she asked with a smile.

“Yeah, I’d love that,” I said, rubbing my hands together.

We stood there for a few moments. It couldn’t have been more than five seconds, but time went still and I wondered what to do next. She leaned in, kissing me on the cheek, before telling me goodbye and walking into her townhome. I smiled, getting back into my car, before driving off and feeling good. 

Chapter Ten

Jenna

“So, does anybody else know?” Malia asked as we sat in the hallway and waited for our next classes to start.

“Just you,” I replied.

“Wow, that’s a lot of pressure,” she said.

“No pressure at all. It’s no different than if I were dating a random guy from school,” I said. 

“Yeah, not really. This is a lot bigger. This is more important,” she said, putting away her notebook.

Cash and I hadn’t seen each other since he drove me home, which was a few days ago. We were supposed to meet for a day date on Sunday, but work called him in for some type of shooting that he said would take over the entire day.

We talked, mostly through text, as he was shooting a lot and working fifteen hours a day, and even then our texts were sporadic, to say the least. I guess this was really no different than dating somebody who was busy with work, school, or whatever else. I thought we were still on the same page, though it wasn’t like we were seeing one another exclusively, so who knew what he was doing. I wouldn’t be mad if I saw him out with someone else, maybe a little disappointed, but he was a grown man and we’d only gone out once. Even if it was mind-blowing.

“I’ve got to get to class. It’s in Hughes, and that’s across campus,” she said, standing up off the cool tile floor. She walked off, leaving me there alone, as a class down the hall got out early and whisked past me. 

I pulled out my phone. It was 1:20, leaving me another ten minutes before my classroom opened up. I unlocked the phone, looking at my texts, seeing the one I’d sent him an hour prior still unanswered. I tapped on my leg, bored, before my phone buzzed in my hand and I looked down at it. “I’m free later tonight, are you?” he asked.

“No,” I said, disappointed. “I have a study group tonight for my group project. We’re meeting for the first time and it wouldn’t be good for me to miss it.”

“I understand,” he quickly replied. “Another time?”

“I promise,” I replied, and he responded that he had to get back on set. 

I was disappointed, wishing to god that my group could’ve met last night or tomorrow, but of course the universe was against me. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to do it, but I just wanted to see Cash a little bit more. I suppose I should’ve known making this work in any capacity would be hard.

•••

Later that night I walked up the steps to the café where my group was meeting. With my backpack slung across my shoulders, I walked inside and looked for my group and saw Ben, one of the three other members, waiting. “Hey,” I said as I walked up.

“Hey, glad you could make it. Shana and Rob texted me that they’re on their way, but I don’t know when they’ll be here,” he said, taking a sip of his coffee.

“Can I get you something?” the barista asked as I set my bag down.

“Can I just get a large hot chocolate, please?” I asked.

“Put it on my tab, Lisa,” Ben said.

“No, that’s okay, I can get it,” I replied.

“I insist. Besides, it’s only a couple bucks,” he said.

Not wanting to argue, I submitted and sat down across from him as I waited for my drink. I hadn’t had much interaction with Ben before, mostly just a nod or hello here and there. He’d been in a couple other classes with me throughout college, but we weren’t friends in any sense of the word. 

“So, I’m glad we got partnered together. We’ve had so many classes together and we’ve never really talked,” he said, pushing up his dark, thick-rimmed glasses. He wasn’t ugly at all, more of a hipster type, and I remembered thinking he was reasonably cute when I first saw him a couple years ago.

“Yeah, it’s crazy,” I said before the barista brought out my hot chocolate with a dollop of whipped cream on top.

He looked at me, gazing, really, before the other two people in the group walked in and came over to us. “Started without us, huh?” Shana asked.

“We were just chatting. Jenna just got here,” Ben said.

The entire group session went well, with the four of us coming up with a few good ideas for our project. It was all about how to bring an item to market in a foreign country and how to advertise it properly based on the culture and customs of that country. We had South Korea, and we had to come up with ideas that we would present to our professor before we could flesh them out and make a project around it. I thought that part was stupid, but I guess we might be more likely to get a better grade if he approved the topic first. 

“What do you think, Jenna?” Ben asked.

“I think it all looks good. I would say one thing we should focus on is an animated or cute type of campaign if we’re approved. South Korea, like Japan, is into that sort of thing with the younger demographic, and that’s likely who we’ll be targeting,” I said.

“Great idea. The K-Pop and cute market is definitely one to attack. I know South Koreans will flock to an item and make it overnight famous if they like it. That might be what we’d need for that certain edge,” Ben said.

“Well, it looks like we have what we need, then. I have to get going and do some studying, but I can hand these off tomorrow morning on my way to class to see if we can be approved. That way we can start right away,” Rob said.

“Yeah, do that and let us know what he says, if anything. Then we can plan our next session,” Shana said.

“Sounds like a plan,” Ben said as they packed up.

I had about a quarter of my cup left, the large actually being way too much, even if it was chocolatey bliss. Rob and Shana got up and walked out of the café. “So, I was actually hoping to talk to you about something tonight,” Ben said.

“Oh?” I asked nervously. I took a sip of my hot chocolate to hide my expression.

“I know this is probably a long shot and all, and you’re a very beautiful woman, but would you ever consider, you know, going out with me sometime? Maybe dinner or something fun?” he asked before pushing up his glasses.

I froze as I tried to think of what to say. I couldn’t just say no, not happening, mostly because of the group. Well, I could say that, but I just wanted a good grade before graduating and didn’t want to risk alienating the group or causing tension when we all met up. It wasn’t that I thought Ben wasn’t attractive either, he wasn’t, but I had Cash…sort of. That wasn’t something I wanted to give up, and I really wanted to explore it more, even if he was generally quite busy. 

“I—” I said.

“It’s a no, isn’t it? Man, I feel like an idiot now,” he said, looking down.

“You’re not a nice guy, but I’m just kind of seeing somebody right now and I want to explore that,” I said.

“You don’t have to be nice or try to spare my feelings,” he said.

“I’m not! I swear I’m not. I really am seeing somebody and I like him,” I said.

I looked at him right in the eyes, not blinking, as I tried to make my eyes look as sincere as possible. It was just bad timing, and maybe if he’d asked me out a few weeks ago I would’ve gone out with him and my life would be a lot different.

“I believe you. I hope I didn’t make things weird, though. I do that sometimes,” he said.

“They’re not weird at all. I’m still excited and happy to work with you on this group project and I’m seriously flattered that you’d think of me that way,” I said, starting to grab my things.

“Thank you, Jenna. You’re a good friend,” he said.

I patted him on the shoulder and walked out, pulling out my phone as I went around the corner so he couldn’t see it. “
Ben from my group just asked me out
,” I texted to Malia.

“
What? You didn’t say yes, did you?
” she asked.

I knew she’d flip out, likely thinking that I gave up Cash for him, and I intended to make her sweat it out a little bit. “
I’ll be home soon
,” I said.

•••

“Oh, my god,” Malia said as I walked in the door. She had a habit of pausing between “oh” and “my” whenever she wanted dramatic effect. It always made me smile.

“I know,” I said, feeding the fire.

“What did you say? You better not have said yes,” she said.

“He’s a nice guy, though,” I said.

“So are half the guys in the country, but you shouldn’t be out on dates with all of them! You have the opportunity of the lifetime here!” she said, flailing her arms around like a maniac.

“I don’t care about what Cash does or the
opportunity
that comes along with that. I don’t date people for that,” I said.

“It’s not even all about his money or celebrity status, Jenna. He’s also a great guy who you obviously get along with, considering you stayed the night with him,” she said.

“Relax, I didn’t agree to a date with Ben,” I said, ending her spastic speech.

“Thank you! I’m so happy!” she said, and I saw the tension melt off her. Messing with her was mean, but it never failed to make me laugh. 

“Actually, Cash just texted me,” I said, opening it.

“
Thinking of you
,” he typed.

“Look at you smile and blush. For such a wannabe tough girl, you sure are smiley when he texts you,” Malia said.

“Shut up before I slap you,” I replied, the smile on my face making that threat as vain as it was when I made it.

“
Can’t wait to see you again. Better be soon
,” I replied, sending a kissy face emoji with it.

“
I can’t wait to kiss you again
,” he replied, taking me off-guard. I bit my lower lip, my thumbs trembling as I tried to think of what to say. I felt my stomach warm and a few rogue butterflies tickling me from the inside.

“
Dreaming of it
,” I said, hitting send.

He sent back a smiley face, telling me he was in bed and had to go to sleep for an early set time, but he wanted to text me before he fell asleep. I wished him good night and sweet dreams before heading upstairs myself and getting in my pajamas before taking off my makeup. 

I missed him in a way I wouldn’t really miss a guy I barely knew this early into dating, but I felt secure in that. Sometimes you fall harder for some people than others, and it’s okay to feel like you’re really missing somebody even if you don’t know everything about them. Sometimes all you can go by are the feelings they give you when you’re together, and those warm, loving feelings are what your body remembers when you think about being with them again. For me those feelings were pretty great, and I desperately wanted them again after being without them for so long. I thought he felt the same way.

I did a little bit of studying, mostly just required reading that would be on an upcoming quiz, as my eyes read but my mind didn’t really pay that much attention. There was something a little bigger on my mind. Malia popped in and said goodnight before closing my door and turning off the hallway light. My Christmas rope lights illuminated the room with their soft glow shining on my glossy textbook pages before I closed it and tossed it on the floor.

I picked up my phone, opening the web browser and searching for Cash. Thousands of images showed up on Google, all of them bearing his face. I smiled a little as I saw the plethora of images, both professional and paparazzi. 

I came across ours, the picture of the two of us out that night, before I clicked on it to read the article. It didn’t mention me much, mostly just about him being out on the town with a mystery woman, though they had no information about me, which was really what I wanted. I wasn’t totally invisible, but I blended into the crowd enough that the focus wasn’t on me, what I was wearing, or how fat or skinny I was. 

I knew dating an actor or anybody famous would open me up to that type of criticism, especially if we ever got official and I showed up with him everywhere, but I thought I was ready to make that sacrifice. It came with the territory, and once it got out and my face was placed with my name and everything about me, that would be it. I could never erase the pictures or articles, and I would forever be known as Cash Hawthorne’s girlfriend. 

I thought it would be okay, though. I wasn’t a bad person, neither was Cash, and it wasn’t like I was going to get wrapped up in some scandal or news headline that would embarrass me and hurt Cash. I was, for all intents and purposes, normal, and that wasn’t going to change just because I was having sex with a celebrity.

I locked my phone, setting it on my nightstand before turning off the rope lights and sliding down into my bed. I flipped the bottom of the comforter in like a sleeping bag, keeping it tight, and rolled onto my side. I knew I was going to be heading into something very new, but new can be good, and I knew this was a good kind of new that would be great.