Cassie (4 page)

I'm scared.

Holly

My name is Holly Holley and this is my bedtime routine.

Nine-thirty: shower.

Nine-forty: brush teeth, comb hair, lay out school clothes for tomorrow.

Nine-fifty: snuggle into bed with Gladly, my cross-eyed bear. (No one knows about Gladly. No one will ever know. He is a Raph substitute.)

Think about Raph until I drift off to sleep.

Not tonight.

Tonight I think about a girl in a wheelchair. A girl who can't control her body. I think about how she will change my life, if only for a month or so.

I'm scared.

2

Holly

Holly was stunned.

It was just as well she was sitting in school assembly or she would have fallen over. Mr Wilson, the principal, was trying, with complete lack of success, to call the rabble to order when Demi Larson strolled down the aisles of seated students and stopped in front of Holly. She smiled, crouched and whispered in her ear.

The whole school hushed and watched. Demi spoke for a few moments, patted Holly on the shoulder and made her way back to Kari and Georgia, the other members of that select group known as ‘The Demi Set'.

Mr Wilson took advantage of the quiet to start his whole-school address.

But Holly found it impossible to pay attention.

She was stunned.

Though that didn't stop her smiling or her heart from hammering wildly.

Holly

My name is Holly Holley and I suppose I should have expected Amy's reaction.

‘A sleepover at Demi Larson's?' she whispers over Mr Wilson's mumblings. Then – I swear it's true – she stifles a yawn. Honest! ‘I'd take a good book if I were you.'

Sometimes I think Amy is just jealous. She never sounds jealous, it's true, but I reckon that's an act.

Take a book, indeed! But that gets me thinking. What will I take? What is the custom with sleepovers? Do you take food? And what about sleepwear? I certainly can't take my pyjamas with Eeyore, Pooh and Piglet on them. Maybe I can dip into my Plastic Surgery Emergency Fund and buy something silky from Kmart. I am so absorbed in this train of thought, that I almost don't hear Amy's whispered comment.

‘Anyway,' she says. ‘I thought you had guests arriving on Saturday night.'

‘Oh God,' I wail.

Nine hundred faces turn towards me.

‘I am not irreligious, Holly Holley,' the Principal drops into the ensuing silence, ‘but I think you'll find that's worth an after-school detention.'

Holly

Holly opened the car door for her mother when she arrived home.

‘Hiya, chicken,' said Ivy, brandishing a plastic bag full of mysterious ingredients. ‘Got some beaut stuff from the shop today. I think the meal tonight is going to be one of my best.'

‘I can't wait. Do you want help preparing it?'

Ivy Holley climbed out of the car, frowned and took a closer look at her daughter.

‘Are you all right, sweetie?' she said. ‘Not feeling ill, or anything?'

‘Mum, I need a favour.'

‘Ah, that explains it. Well, let me get in the door, chicken. I've been rushed off my feet all day and I need to get this stuff into the fridge.'

Holly helped. She unpacked all kinds of things she didn't recognise and put them away without comment. Judging by what she could see, it seemed a remote chance that anything edible would be on offer tonight. But that was a normal state of affairs. Ivy sat at the kitchen table and took off her shoes. She put one foot up on her knee, massaged her toes and sighed.

‘Okay,' she said. ‘The favour. It must be a big one.'

‘It is. How did you know?'

‘You've washed up the breakfast dishes.'

Holly sat opposite her mother and put her hands on the table. She took a deep breath.

‘Mum, I've been invited to a sleepover.'

‘That's great, chicken.'

‘Tomorrow night.'

Ivy Holley stopped rubbing her feet.

‘But that's when Fern and Cassie are arriving. You can't go tomorrow, sweetie. Just put it off for a week.'

‘I can't, Mum.'

‘What do you mean, you can't? It's a sleepover, not a one-night-only concert. Just ring your friend and change the date.'

Holly stood and paced. Her mum didn't understand the situation. In all likelihood, she'd never understand the situation. But it was important to be reasonable. She would have to explain patiently. Under no circumstances should she tell her mother she doesn't understand.

‘Mum. You don't understand. It's
Demi Larson
. She's the one who's invited me.'

‘And?'

‘And this opportunity will never come again. You get one chance, if you're very, very lucky. If I don't go now, I'll never be invited again. Never. And my whole life will be ruined.'

Mrs Holley raised an eyebrow, but Holly pressed on.

‘No one turns down an invitation from Demi Larson. No one.'

‘Who is she? A member of the Royal family?'

‘More important than that.' Holly stopped pacing. She had only one card up her sleeve and it was best to look her mother in the eyes while she played it.

‘Look, I'll spend all day tomorrow cleaning and tidying. I'll make sure the place is immaculate. I'll stay up all night tonight if you want. But I have to go tomorrow, Mum. Please?'

‘I don't understand this, Holly.'

Holly stiffened. Her mum only ever called her Holly when she was annoyed. This wasn't going well.

‘If this Demi person isn't prepared to be flexible about a sleepover date, then she can't be much of a friend.'

‘She isn't. Yet. That's the point. And she never will be if I don't go tomorrow.'

Ivy rubbed her forehead.

‘Look,' she said finally. ‘It's not a question of helping out with the cleaning and tidying. That's not the most important thing. They're family, Holly. I want you here when they arrive. Is that too much to ask?'

Tears filled Holly's eyes and she bunched her hands into fists.

‘Yes,' she said. ‘Yes it is.'

There was silence, apart from the faint ticking of the kitchen clock and the muffled sound of Ivy's foot tapping against the floor. Then she stood.

‘Fine,' she said. ‘Go off to your sleepover. I'm having a shower.'

‘I'll work hard on the cleaning, Mum.'

‘Forget it. I don't want your help, Holly.'

‘Mum! That's silly.'

Ivy stopped half-way through the kitchen door. She turned back.

‘Yes,' she said and her voice was sadder than Holly could ever remember. ‘You're probably right. But that's the way I want it.'

And she left.

Holly cried. She cried for loss of hope and the ruins that were her life.

Fern

Fern Marshall blinked. The road ahead was a straight line that cut the world in two. It was easy to understand why people fell asleep at the wheel on trips like this. She barely had to move the steering wheel from hour to hour. After a while, she felt as though she wasn't moving at all; that instead it was the landscape itself scrolling past her window. Blinking helped to give her depth of vision, for a time at least.

An audio tape of one of John Marsden's
Tomorrow
series was playing on the car stereo. Cassie loved the series and could listen to the books over and over again. She
did
listen to them over and over. But, for Fern, the words filling the car didn't touch her.

Was she doing the right thing? The right thing for Cass? Her own needs were secondary. She was taking Cass from everything she knew, from all that was solid and dependable – her home, her school, her support workers that she loved and trusted. And her father, of course. And for what? An instinct that things would be better for Cass if they moved. It wasn't much, this instinct. Especially weighed against what might be lost. But it felt right and she had to trust it.

On the stereo, Ellie led those closest to her down into Hell.

Fern hoped she wasn't doing the same.

Holly