Castle for Rent (22 page)

“For the nonce, yes. I've been away. Apparently there's been trouble."

“A lot of it. Have you seen the demons?"

“Aye, and nearly soiled my breeches."

“Well, get out a fresh pair of undies, because they're right behind that door, making all the racket."

“Gods of a pig's arse! Then we'd best take our leave, hadn't we?"

“We're working on it. That girl there has a powerful talent. She can summon portals."

“The devil you say.” Kwip looked over his shoulder.

“Well, she did it once. She's trying like hell to repeat it."

They watched Sheila teeter gently back and forth.

“I'd best go fetch them,” Kwip said, then answered Gene's questioning look with, “The librarian and some others. I'll be back in a trice.” He trotted back to the stairwell.

A loud bang sounded. Gene and Linda looked back at the steel barrier. A large protrusion had appeared on it, as if something had nearly punched through from the other side.

Another door materialized, covering the existing one.

“I can keep whipping up doors as long as we stay here,” Linda said, “but once we cross the portal..."

“Yeah, and they'll follow us through.” Gene bit his lip. “I hadn't considered that. Good God, can you imagine those things loose on Earth?"

“I don't want to think about it. Gene, we can't take the chance of summoning the portal!"

A wave of heat hit them. The clanging and banging had ceased, and now thin streamers of smoke rose from the door.

“Hell. They're burning their way through! Linda, we have to get out of here. Maybe Sheila can make the portal go away after we cross over."

“Let's hope so, or else we'll be responsible for the destruction of our world."

The door was glowing a deep cherry-red. Linda covered it with another layer of solid steel. The barrier now jutted out from the wall a good six feet. The heat dissipated momentarily, but then returned.

“That won't hold them very long,” Linda said.

“Look!"

Linda whirled. The alcove that Sheila stood in front of seemed to have undergone a transformation. Then Linda realized that she was looking through a portal.

Kwip came out of the stairwell, followed by Barnaby Walsh, Deena Williams, and Osmirik the librarian. Without uttering a word of greeting or explanation, Osmirik broke for the open stacks.

“Hey!” Gene yelled, then turned to Kwip. “Where the hell is he going?"

“To fetch an important book."

“Book? Tell him we have to—"

“It's vital, trust me,” Kwip said.

“Well, if you say so."

They all peered through the portal. On the other side was a pleasantly and expensively appointed living room. The walls were of dark wood paneling, the ceiling of dark oak beams. It looked like the interior of an English manor house.

“Looks like Earth,” Gene said, smiling at Sheila. “Good work."

Sheila nodded. “It was pretty tough. Seemed like something was holding it back. Like someone had tied it down somewhere else in the castle."

“Maybe. I wonder where it's been hiding all this time?” He shook his head in wonder. “There it is. Home. God, I can't believe it."

Sheila glanced at the barrier, which had again turned red-hot. “I have to stay."

“Are you nuts?"

“No. I have to close up the portal from this side. I won't be able to do magic on the other side. It's outside the castle, remember?"

“But you found your magic outside the castle. Look, Sheila. I haven't given this a lot of thought yet, but obviously you're a major talent. Maybe your talent isn't limited to summoning portals. You also seem to have the knack for figuring out alternative magical systems, for want of a better way to put it."

Sheila thought about it. “Maybe I do."

“I think you could figure out Earth's system easy."

“If I have enough time, maybe,” Sheila said. “But we can't take the chance. What if they get through?"

Gene grabbed her arm. “Look, there's no way I'm going to let you stay behind and face those things alone."

“No, Gene. It has to be. You take Linda back."

“Nothing doing. You're coming with us."

“Gene, I can't."

The ear-splitting groan of tortured metal filled the library. The door had turned white-hot.

“Sheila, go with him,” Linda said. “I've rigged something up to buy us time."

They turned. The portal now looked like a bank deposit vault. An enormous steel door with a complex locking mechanism hung open on gimbals.

“It's three feet thick,” Linda said. “It's set to close in fifteen seconds. Sheila, you'll have about five minutes to learn Earth magic. Run, everybody!"

Snowclaw, Linda, Barnaby, and Deena ran. Kwip, Gene, and Sheila stayed.

Gene said, “Look, if the demons take over the castle, Earth's done for."

“I suppose you're right."

An explosion rocked the place. Shards of molten metal spewed from a small hole that had appeared in the barrier blocking the library entrance.

Gene and Sheila ran for the portal. Kwip waited for Osmirik, who came charging out of the open stacks, book in hand.

When they reached the other side, everyone watched the huge steel door swing shut. It closed with a slam, and the complex locking mechanism hummed and whirred for a moment. Then it fell silent.

A few seconds later, the vault door disappeared. Through the portal lay a room somewhere in the castle. It was furnished with antiques and decorated with tapestries and other curios. A strikingly attractive woman in a dark red gown stepped into the frame of the aspect. Startled, she halted, regarding the group of strangers on the other side with some astonishment.

“Who in Creation might you people be?” she asked.

“We might ask the same of you,” Gene said.

She stiffened. “Such impertinence. What are you doing in my house? Where are my servants?"

“Look, lady, we just missed being devil's food cake by a short hair. The demons were right behind us."

Her eyebrows shot up. “Demons? Where did you see them?"

“We just came from the castle."

“So it was you who moved this end of the portal. How did you manage it?” She cut short any answer with a wave of her hand. “Never mind. You must leave my house immediately. I cannot let you re-enter the castle this way. We are under attack here."

“We know. We don't want to go back. We're leaving right now."

“You there!"

The voice belonged to a thin young man in dark slacks and white open-collared shirt who had entered the living room by way of a door to the basement. He approached the group warily.

“How did you—?” Then he saw the woman. He bowed. “Your Royal Highness."

“Anselm, show these people out. You know what to do."

“Of course, ma'am.” Anselm showed a trace of a smile.

“I sort of figured that,” Gene said, drawing his sword. Then his face fell, as if he suddenly realized something.

“Your sword will avail you nothing,” Her Royal Highness said. “You are in the grip of forces beyond your understanding. Cooperate, or it will go badly for you."

“If you think I'm worried about this little pinhead,” Gene said, jabbing toward Anselm, “think again."

Anselm's hand was a blur. It seemed to grow a wicked-looking automatic pistol. He pointed it at Gene. “You're the one who should go back to square one, friend.” He grinned wickedly.

“You do have a point, Anselm old bean,” Gene said, sheathing his sword.

“Very good, Anselm,” the woman said. “How goes it?"

“All quiet, ma'am."

“Splendid. No sign of my brother?"

“None at all. May I ask how your battle fares?"

“Certainly. Deems and his men are holding their own in the outer quarters. Which is to say they are being slaughtered. But my spells sustain them. Even an armless corpse can be animated enough to block a demon's path. In the unlikely event my brother should discover the location of this portal, you will do your best to take him alive. Is that understood?"

“It will be done, ma'am."

“Good. I will put up the veil again."

The woman waved her hand and the portal became a dark oblong.

Anselm gestured with the gun. “Okay, down those stairs, all of you. But first get rid of all that steel. Throw them in a pile ... there."

Snowy, Gene, and Kwip tossed their swords and daggers on the floor near a red leather easy chair.

“Right. Now, down the steps, single file. And I'll shoot the first one who thinks about..."

Outside, the night erupted in fireworks.

Gene yelled, “Rush ‘em, Snowy!"

But Snowy had already begun his leap. Anselm squawked, stepped back, and fired. Snowy hit him first, then Gene jumped on top. The three of them rolled around the carpet until Kwip jumped on the pile. The tangle of arms and legs became a beast that shambled about the living room, upsetting end tables here and there.

“Jesus Christ!” Gene yelled finally, springing to his feet. Everyone unpiled, got up, and stepped back warily.

Anselm rose to his feet. Something strange was happening to him. Parts of his skin had cracked like an ill-fitting rubber suit. The cracks revealed an interior yellow-orange glow. The fissures veined out and widened, and the skin fell away in swatches, revealing the demon body within. The demon swelled to full volume as it shed its outer camouflage. The last of the skin and clothing dropped off as the eerily glowing creature topped seven and a half feet.

“YOU WILL DIE, HUMAN SCUM! ALL OF YOU!"

The house lights went out.

 

 

 

Estate

 

“What kind of deal did you have in mind?” Incarnadine asked the enormous apparition that had appeared above the house.

“I'm sure we can work something out, Inky old friend."

“I don't share your optimism. What do you have to offer, aside from what already belongs to me?"

“Well, we're not exactly offering anything, my dear Inky. In fact—"

“
I am not your ‘dear Inky'!
I am Incarnadine, Liege Lord, Imperator and Gatekeeper of the Western Pale, and, by the grace of the gods,
King
and Sovereign Ruler of Ylium, Zephorea, Halmudia, Grekoran, and West Thurlangia! You have our leave to address us as ‘Your Serene and Transcendent Majesty.'”

The face raised its eyebrows. “Touchy, aren't we? As I was saying ...
Your Majesty
... you're not exactly in the best bargaining position imaginable. Now are you?"

“Why not?"

“We have the castle. In a very short time we will cut off the only access you have to it."

“Which means that you haven't overrun Ferne's position yet."

“A formality. What are mortals against us? Chopped liver, that's what."

“Well, what's taking you so long?"

“I have to admit your sister's not chopped liver. And neither are you, Ink—er, Your Majesty. Neither are you. Really, I mean it! Look, let's be frank. All cards face-up. I mean,
obviously
we have a stalemate here. I think it's high time we all sat down and had a serious talk about what we're going to do about the situation. Share ideas. Exchange information. Get to know each other."

Incarnadine nodded. “Sounds very cozy. I will also be frank. I'd sooner bed down with scorpions than sit at a bargaining table with the likes of you."

The face looked hurt. “Really, that's not very nice."

“You know that the moment I get back inside the castle, your game is through."

“I don't know that at all. You might not be aware of this, but the barrier your great-great-great-great—"

“You've actually kept track?"

“—great-great-great grandfather erected to keep us out of the castle is
gone
, Your Super-Terrific Majesty. Zip-bang, not there anymore. Okay? So, don't go making threats you can't follow through with."

Incarnadine was silent a moment, then said, “I really must compliment you on having mastered the local vernacular so quickly."

The face couldn't help being pleased. “That? It's nothing. This is one world we're going to insist on keeping. We work right into the mythology so well, it's as though it had been created with us in mind."

“If you look back far enough into your historical records, you might find that you did have a hand in working up the indigenous mythology, or at least inspiring it."

“Really? That's very interesting. But back to business. Isn't it clear that you will have to share power at some point? You people can't keep us back forever."

“I don't see why not,” Incarnadine said. “In any event, I certainly won't be the one to give away the family business."

“Oh, you wouldn't be giving away all of it, now would you?"

“You would never be content with partial control, were I willing to grant it."

“Come now. I think it's about time you realized that your attitude toward us is really the result of years of propaganda. We get the worst press imaginable. Your family always had it in for us. It's not fair! We've done nothing, absolutely nothing to justify being treated so shabbily all these years. Discrimination! That's what it is, pure and simple."

“You have my sympathies. My advice to you is this—pull back your forces now. If you fail to do so, you will be destroyed."

The head shook sadly. “Really, Inky. I thought better of you."

Incarnadine raised both hands and began to trace a pattern in the air. “Foul spirit, destroyer of worlds, blasphemer and ancient enemy! I bid you begone, in the name of all the gods of all the universes—get thee hence! Flee the wrath of the righteous, and trouble the innocent no more! Depart, I say!"

The face contorted with pain. The mouth opened, and a wailing cry pierced the night.

“Bastard human!” it screamed. “Filthy pile of excrement! You had your chance! Now you'll suffer everlasting torment! You'll all suffer horribly and die! You, your family, and all the get of the Haplodie! Die, you'll all die, die, die—"