Castles (29 page)

It came upon them in a rush. She found her release first and when she instinctively squeezed him tight and arched against him, he gave in to his own orgasm.

It took her a long while to come back to reality. She clung to her husband and let the waves of blissful surrender wash over her. A part of her mind understood that as long as she was holding Colin, she was safe. She didn't have to worry about control. He would take care of her. Alesandra closed her eyes and let the wonder of their lovemaking consume her every thought.

She had never felt this safe, this free.

Colin was experiencing the opposite reaction. He was shaken by what had just happened to him, for he'd never allowed himself to completely abandon his control. Never. It scared the hell out of him. Her silky thighs had squeezed every thought out of his mind. She was the innocent, he experienced, and yet she'd been able to strip him of all his defenses. He hadn't been able to hold a part of himself back and toward the end, when they were both reaching for their fulfillment, he had been as much at her mercy as she at his—and, God help him, it had never been this good before. It scared the hell out of him.

For the first time in his life he felt vulnerable, trapped.

They were still joined together. Colin slowly withdrew before the feel of her made him hard again. He gritted his teeth against the pleasure that movement caused. He didn't have the strength to move away from her yet, but he knew his weight was probably crushing her. Her arms were wrapped around his neck. He reached up and gently pulled them away. He leaned down to kiss the base of her throat, felt her frantic heartbeat, and found arrogant male satisfaction then, for he realized she hadn't completely recovered either.

A minute later he rolled onto his back, away from her. He took a deep, shuddering breath and closed his eyes. The scent of their lovemaking permeated the air around them. The taste of her was still in his mouth and, God help him, he could feel himself getting hard again.

Alesandra finally roused herself from her thoughts and turned to him. She propped herself up on one elbow to look at him.

His scowl stunned her. “Colin?” she whispered. “Are you all right?”

He turned his head to look at her. Within a bare second, his expression changed. Colin wasn't about to let her see his vulnerability. He smiled at her and then reached over to brush the back of his hand against the side of her face. She leaned into his caress.

“I'm supposed to ask you if
you're
all right,” he explained.

She looked more than all right to him. Her eyes were still shimmering with passion, her mouth looked swollen from his kisses, her hair was draped over one shoulder, and Colin thought she was the sexiest woman in the world.

“I hurt you, didn't I?”

She slowly nodded. She noticed he didn't seem overly worried about that fact. “I was . . .”

“Hot?”

She blushed. He laughed. Then he pulled her into his arms and let her hide her face against his chest. “It's a little late to become embarrassed, isn't it? Or have you forgotten how wild you were a few minutes ago?”

She hadn't forgotten. She blushed to the roots of her hair just thinking about her wanton reaction. His chest rumbled with amusement. She didn't mind that he was laughing at her. The most wonderful thing in the world had just happened to her and she wasn't going to let anything ruin it. A warm glow still surrounded her, making her feel both blissful and sleepy.

“I wasn't very dignified, was I?”

“Do you mean you weren't dignified when you begged me not to stop?”

He rubbed her backside in a lazy fashion while he waited for her answer.

“I did do that, didn't I?”

The wonder in her voice made him smile. “Yes,” he drawled out. “You did.”

She sighed. “It was nice, wasn't it?”

He laughed. “It was a whole lot better than nice.”

Long minutes passed in silence. He broke the peaceful interlude when he let out a loud yawn.

“Colin? Did I . . . was I . . .”

She couldn't seem to finish her question. Her own vulnerability made her too timid to find out if she had been satisfactory.

He knew what she needed from him now. “Alesandra?”

The way he whispered her name felt like a caress. “Yes?”

“You were perfect.”

“It's good of you to say so.”

She relaxed against him and closed her eyes. The sound of his heartbeat mingled with his soft laughter soothed her. His one hand stroked her back and his other gently rubbed her neck. She was just drifting off to sleep when he called her name again.

“Hmm?”

“Would you like me to begin explaining now?”

He waited several minutes before he realized she'd fallen asleep. His fingers threaded through her hair and he shifted positions just a little so he could kiss the top of her head. “A woman's body is like a temple,” he whispered.

He didn't expect an answer and didn't get one. He pulled the covers up, wrapped his arms around his bride, and closed his eyes.

His last thought before he drifted off to sleep made him smile. The nun really had been right when she'd told Alesandra men would want to worship.

He sure as certain had.

 

A
lesandra awoke late the next morning. Colin had already left the bedroom. It was just as well because she didn't want him to see her pitiful condition. She was so stiff and sore, she groaned like an old woman when she got out of bed. And no wonder, she thought to herself when she saw the stains of blood on the sheets. No one had warned her that making love would cause her to bleed. She frowned with worry and irritation then, for it was a fact that no one had told her anything. Was it a usual occurrence to bleed? What if it wasn't usual at all? What if Colin had accidentally torn something that couldn't be repaired?

She tried not to panic and succeeded until she bathed. The tenderness and the additional blood on the washcloth frightened her, though. She was embarrassed, too. She didn't want Flannaghan to see the stains when he changed the sheets, so she stripped the bed herself.

Alesandra continued to fret while she dressed. She put on a pale blue dress and matching soft leather shoes. The gown had a white border along the square neckline and around the cuffs of the long sleeves. It was a very feminine dress and one of Alesandra's favorites. She brushed her hair until it crackled with curl, then went in search of her husband.

Their first encounter in the light of day after the intimacy they had shared the night before was going to be awkward for her and she wanted to get it over with as soon as possible. If she tried, she was certain she would be able to hide her embarrassment.

Colin was sitting at his desk in the study. The door facing the corridor was open. She stood in the entrance, debating whether she should interrupt him or not. He must have felt her gaze on him, however, because he suddenly looked up. He was still frowning with concentration over the letter he was reading, but his expression quickly changed. Tenderness came into his eyes when he smiled at her.

She thought she might have smiled back. She couldn't be certain. Dear Lord, was she ever going to become accustomed to having him around? He was such a handsome man. His shoulders seemed wider to her today, his hair appeared darker, his skin more bronzed. The white shirt he wore accentuated his appeal. It was a stark contrast to his coloring. Her gaze turned to his mouth and she was suddenly flooded with memories of how it had felt to be kissed by him . . . everywhere.

Alesandra hastily lowered her gaze to his chin. She wasn't about to let him know how embarrassed she was feeling. She would be dignified and sophisticated.

“Good morning, Colin.” Her voice croaked like a frog. Her face felt as though it was on fire. Retreat seemed the only choice. She would try to face him later, when she was more in control. “I can see you're busy,” she told him in a rush as she backed away. “I'll go on downstairs.”

She turned and started to walk away. “Alesandra.”

“Yes?”

“Come here.”

She walked back to the entrance. Colin leaned back in his chair and crooked his finger at her. She straightened her shoulders, forced a smile, and walked inside. She stopped when she reached his desk. That wasn't good enough for him. He motioned her over to his side. She maintained her nonchalant attitude as she circled the desk. Colin was never going to know how awkward she was feeling.

He looked at her for a long minute. “Are you going to tell me what's the matter with you?”

Her shoulders slumped a little. “You're a difficult man to fool,” she remarked.

He frowned. “Since you're never going to try to fool me, that fact isn't significant, is it?”

“No.”

He waited another minute or two, and when she didn't explain, he asked her again. “Tell me what's bothering you.”

She turned her gaze to the floor. “This is . . . awkward for me, seeing you after . . .”

“After what?”

“Last night.”

A faint blush turned her cheeks pink. Colin found her reaction delightful—arousing, too. He pulled her onto his lap, then nudged her chin up and smiled at her. “And?” he prodded.

“In the light of day, the memory of what we did together makes me feel a little embarrassed.”

“The memory makes me want you again.”

Her eyes widened over his gruff confession. “But you can't.”

“Sure I can,” he told her cheerfully.

She shook her head. “I can't,” she whispered.

He frowned. “Why can't you?”

Her blush felt as though it was burning her skin. “Isn't it enough that I tell you I can't?”

“Hell, no, it isn't enough.”

She turned her gaze to her lap. “You're making this difficult,” she remarked. “If my mother was here I could talk to her, but . . .”

She didn't continue. The sadness in her voice made him forget his irritation. She was worrying about something and he was determined to find out what it was. “You can talk to me,” he said. “I'm your husband, remember? We shouldn't have any secrets between us. You liked making love,” he added with a nod.

He sounded terribly arrogant to her. “Perhaps,” she replied, just to prick his temper.

He let her see his exasperation. “Perhaps? You came apart in my arms,” he whispered. The memory made his own voice harsh. “Have you forgotten so soon?”

“No. I haven't forgotten. Colin, you hurt me.”

She blurted out that truth and waited for him to apologize. She would tell him about her injury then and he would understand why he couldn't touch her again.

“Baby, I know I hurt you.”

The heat in his voice, so rough, so masculine, made her shiver. She shifted in his lap. He immediately grabbed hold of her hips to hold her still. She didn't have any idea what the conversation was doing to him, of course—having her sweet bottom rubbing so intimately against him made him hard with desire.

Alesandra wasn't embarrassed any longer. She was irritated because she had just realized her husband was callous in his attitudes. He didn't seem at all contrite.

The disgruntled look on her face made him smile. “Sweetheart,” he began, his voice soothing now. “It won't hurt like that again.”

She shook her head. She wouldn't look into his eyes and turned her gaze to his chin. “You don't understand,” she whispered. “Something . . . happened.”

“What happened?” he asked, holding on to his patience.

“I bled. It was on the sheets and I . . .”

He finally understood. Colin wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against his chest. He had two purposes in mind. One, he wanted to hold her, and two, he didn't want her to see his smile. She might think he was laughing at her.