Cat Out of Hell (20 page)

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Authors: Lynne Truss

Tags: #Humorous, #Horror, #Mystery & Detective, #Fiction, #General

BOOK: Cat Out of Hell
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1
.
Did things turn out well, generally speaking, Alec?

Yes, very well
No
Not really
Don’t ask

I think you will agree this is much nearer the mark than “Not really.”

2
.
If NO, was it your own fault? (Think carefully)

Yes, I feel terrible
No
Not entirely
Don’t ask

Yes, I have come to terms with my own lack of responsibility, at last. My only sin, in retrospect, was to be so obsessed with this story.

3
.
Was anyone hurt?

Yes
No
Not really
Don’t ask

I feel sorry for the cats, especially Roger. But I have no sympathy at all for Julian Prideaux. After all that eyeball-flashing, I quite enjoyed seeing his blood flying about like that. It seemed like his due come-uppance for a) being an Evil Cat Master in league with Beelzebub, doling out death to innocent humans just in order to punish the wilful Roger, and also b) all those bloody departmental meetings he didn’t turn up to. I had no idea my professional resentment went so deep.

4
.
Has the world been rid of the evil cats?

Miraculously, yes
Worryingly, no
Too early to tell

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