Cathy Hopkins - [Mates, Dates 01] (11 page)

A moment later, the
supervisor came back in and looked surprised that Kate had gone. ‘Where’s your
cutter?’ she asked.

‘Dunno,’ I said.
‘Gone.’

‘That girl is
dizzy’
she said crossly then she examined my hair. As she looked the frown on her
forehead deepened. ‘If you don’t like it,’ she sighed and looked at her watch,
‘come back another night and we’ll restyle it for you.’

No way, I thought. I’m
not coming back here. Why did I have to get the cutter who was having some sort
of relationship crisis? If only she’d looked at my pics. I looked a disaster.

Izzie was waiting for
me in reception. I could tell by her face that she hated it too.

‘I know,’ I said,
feeling my eyes fill up again. ‘It’s awful, isn’t it?’

‘It’s different,’ she
said, then saw my stricken face. She put her arm round me. ‘It’ll grow back.’

What? In five years.
How could I have been so stupid? Thinking that if I chopped my hair off
suddenly I’d grow confidence. Look amazing. Now I looked worse than ever.

Izzie sighed. ‘I
am
sorry, Lucy. Look, Nesta’s waiting for us so let’s get out of here. Come on,
we’ll go and meet her then get a cappuccino.’

‘I can’t go anywhere
looking like this,’ I said. I wanted to get on the bus and go home and hide
under the duvet until my hair had grown back.

‘I said we’d meet her
in the John Lewis lingerie department,’ said Izzie. ‘She’s trying on
Wonderbras.’

‘On no, please. I want
to go home.’

‘Five minutes,’ said
Iz. Then we’ll go.‘

We made our way into John
Lewis and up to the first floor. Everywhere I looked I saw girls with lovely
long hair and in mirrors that seemed to be on every wall, I saw me looking like
a bird had built a straw nest on my head.

Nesta was waiting for
us waving three bras in her hand.

‘Oh,’ she said when
she saw my hair.

‘Yeah. Oh,’ I said.

‘I like it,’ she lied.

‘I have to go home for
ten years,’ I said.

‘But I’ve got a bra
for you to try. I’ve picked one for each of us.’

‘I can’t,’ I said.‘I
have no chest. And no hair.’

‘That’s what’s so
wonderful about the bras,’ said Nesta. ‘No matter what size you are they make
you look fab.’ She looked me up and down. ‘They give everyone an amazing
cleavage.’

‘Come on, Lucy,’ said
Izzie. ‘It’ll be fun. You need cheering up.’

They dragged me into
the changing room and Nesta handed us our bras.

Reluctantly I took
mine and went into a cubicle. A strange face looked back at me from the mirror.
If I didn’t know who I was before, I certainly didn’t know who this was staring
back at me. And the back of my neck felt cold.

‘Wow,’ screeched a
voice from next door. ‘It makes me look enormous.’ I popped my head round
Izzies curtain and, despite my hair, I couldn’t help laughing.

‘Hello, boys,’ she
giggled.

‘Aruba, aruba,’ I
said. ‘Those things look like lethal weapons.
The Guns of Navarone
.’

Izzie pulled a face.
‘My mum’d never let me wear it. You know what she’s like.’

‘Ready!’ called Nesta
from the other side. We stuck our heads into Nesta’s cubicle. She’d chosen a
red satin one and though her bust is nothing like as big as Izzie’s, the bra
gave her a great cleavage. I decided I
would
try mine on. If they had
this effect on Izzie and Nesta, it was bound to help me.

I went back to my
cubicle and, avoiding looking at my hair, I stripped off and put on the bra.
Outside I could hear Izzie and Nesta laughing their heads off about something.

‘You ready?’ called
Izzie, then stuck her head in.

Tears were welling up
in my eyes again.

‘Oh, Lucy, don’t cry…’
said Izzie.

I couldn’t help it and
now I’d started I couldn’t stop. The dam burst and all the tears I’d been
fighting back for weeks suddenly came pouring out. The more I looked at my
reflection, the more I sobbed. I looked like a little girl in her mother’s bra.
A little girl with a really bad haircut.

Nesta put her head
round the cubicle curtain and when she saw my face came in. ‘Lucy, whatever’s
the matter?’

I sat on the stool in
the cubicle. ‘My bra doesn’t fit,’ I sobbed.

‘It’s only a bra,’
said Nesta softly.

That made it even
worse. ‘I know, it’s not really that,’ I said, quickly putting my clothes back
on. ‘It just seems nothing fits. Nothing. I don’t fit. And this stupid bra is
just the last straw.’

I looked worse than
ever now as my nose had gone red and my eyes were all swollen and puffy.

‘I’m pathetic,’ I said.

Izzie and Nesta
exchanged worried looks.

‘I don’t fit here. I
don’t fit at school. I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.’

I looked at the two of
them, both gorgeous with long glossy hair and fabulous cleavages. ‘And now you
two are best friends and there’s no room for me any more.’

Before they could say
anything or get dressed, I ran out of the store and caught the bus home.

Inflatable
 
Bras

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When I got home,
everyone was eating supper.

Four faces stared
open-mouthed at me from the kitchen.

‘What’ve you done to
your hair?’ cried Lai.

Wrong response, I
thought. But I knew there wasn’t a right one.

I ran upstairs and hid
under my duvet. Minutes later, Mum knocked.

‘Come and have
something to eat, love,’ she said.

‘Not hungry,’ I
called.

Five minutes later,
Dad knocked. ‘It’s not so bad, love. We don’t care what you look like. Come down
and have your supper.’

‘You’ve got more hair
than I have,’ I cried. ‘It’s not fair!’

Then Steve tried.
‘Lucy, come down. Buffy’s on.’

‘Go away,’ I said. I
didn’t want to watch ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’. All the girls in it had long
fabulous hair.

Then Lai knocked. I’ve
got something for you,‘ he said, then pushed his Beatles wig under the door. Ha
ha, very funny. Not.

The clothes I’d made
were lying on the chair at the end of my bed. I put them straight in the bin.
What had I been thinking of? They were rubbish. It doesn’t work to try and
change the outside if the inside isn’t right. And my inside feels definitely
not right.

I looked at my awful
hair in the mirror again. I pulled at the roots, willing it to grow like the
doll I had when I was five. You just tugged the hair and it came straight out
right down to her waist. Why wouldn’t mine do that? I couldn’t even tie it up
any more so that no one would notice what a strange style it was. So
sticky-outee. I felt miserable.

And Izzie was right, I
did have two sides as a Gemini. There were definitely two in me, both driving
me nuts.

One part was
completely freaked. My hair, my hair, I can never go out again. The other side
was saying you selfish, petty, pathetic thing. Think about all the starving
people in Africa. What does your stupid hair matter when there are war and
famines?

Where did
that
voice come from? I know. Our headmistress Mrs Allen. How did
she
get
in my head?

I think I may be going
mad. Completely. What makes me ‘me’? I am a nutter. Completely and utterly
barking mad. And ugly.

At eight thirty, the
doorbell rang.

‘Lucy, it’s for you,’
called Mum.

‘Not in,’ I called
back.

I heard a knock on the
door.

‘Lucy,’ said Izzie’s
voice. ‘It’s me and Nesta.’

I hid even further
under the duvet as the door opened and they both trooped in.

‘Luce, come out. Nesta
has an idea.’

I stuck my face out of
the covers as both of them sat on the end of the bed.

‘I spoke to Mum,’ said
Nesta. ‘She has someone come to the house to do her hair every other week.
She’s coming tomorrow. She’s really good, Lucy. She could fix yours.’

‘But I haven’t got any
money,’ I said. It was hopeless.

‘Me and Iz have
thought about that. We know you get less pocket money than us and we’ll club
together and we’ll pay.’

Both of them were looking
at me with such kindness, it set me off again. Blub, blub. What
is
the
matter with me these days?

‘We thought you’d be
pleased,’ said Nesta, looking puzzled.

‘You’re being nice to
me,’ I sobbed. ‘Don’t be nice to me. And I’m so selfish when there are wars and
everything.’

They both laughed.

‘You’re not
responsible for the whole human race,’ said Iz. ‘Not yet anyway.’

‘I wanted to say
something else,’ said Nesta, looking embarrassed suddenly. ‘I never meant to
take Izzie from you. It’s just, I thought you didn’t like
me
.’

‘But you always seem
to want to be with Izzie…’ I began. ‘And I know I don’t look old enough for
some things you want to do like the cinema and hanging out with Sixth Formers
and…’

‘Those things don’t
matter. And I realise we shouldn’t have gone without you that time. I really
like you, Lucy. I want to be friends with Izzie
and
you. If you’ll let
me.’

‘But what about your
brother? I thought you told him to stay away from me because you didn’t like
me.’

‘NoOO. Only to protect
you, Lucy. Not because I don’t
like
you. You don’t know my brother. He
thinks he’s Casanova. A different girl every week. Once the challenge is over,
he dumps them. We’ve only been in London a few months and already he’s left a
trail of broken hearts. I didn’t want him to hurt you. That’s all, honest.’

‘Really?’

‘Yeah. I really
do
like you, Lucy and want to be friends.’

Tears filled my eyes
again. ‘I’m so sorry,’ I said. ‘I don’t seem to be able to stop crying. Just
lately, I’ve felt I don’t fit anywhere.’

‘My mum says it’s our
hormones running riot,’ said Izzie.

‘I went through a
time,’ said Nesta, ‘where we lived before. I was the only dark-skinned kid in
our school. I
really
felt I didn’t fit…’

‘So how did you handle
it?’

‘Decided I’d be proud
I was different even if some days I didn’t feel it. I toughed it out. I know
sometimes that’s all people see and they think I’m stuck up. But here in
London, it’s all been so different. Meeting you and Izzie. I feel I’ve got
really good friends for once. And your mum and dad. You’re so lucky…’

‘But yours are so
glamorous…’ I began.

‘Yeah, they’re OK, but
they’re never there. Always working. That’s why I love coming back to yours.
It’s so comfy and your brothers are great. I feel at home here. Everyone’s made
me feel so welcome.’

‘Except me,’ I said. I
was beginning to see I’d misjudged her. She’d been trying to be my friend all
along and I hadn’t let her near.

Nesta grinned. ‘I was
hoping I’d win you round in the end. I don’t give up easily.’

Suddenly Izzie spotted
the clothes spilling out of the wastepaper bin. ‘What are these?’ she said,
pulling them out.

‘Actually those are
some presents I had for you, but…’

‘Wow,’ said Nesta,
seeing the red sequin top. ‘Where have you been hiding these? Why haven’t you
ever worn them?’

‘Do you really like
them?’ I asked, getting out from under my duvet.

‘They’re fantastic,’
said Izzie, holding the clothes up and examining them. ‘Where did you get them
from?’

‘I made them.’

‘You’re kidding,’ said
Nesta. ‘They look really expensive. Like designer stuff.’

‘Actually,’ I said. ‘I
made that red one for you. And the black one’s for you, Izzie.’

In a second they had
stripped off and put their presents on.

‘Ohmigod,’ said Nesta,
admiring her reflection in the mirror. ‘This is absolutely brilliant. I can’t
believe it. It’s perfect.’

It did look good, the
red against her dark skin.

‘This is the best
thing I’ve got,’ said Izzie, twirling around in the halter neck. ‘Can we really
have them? I just love it - and the ostrich feather trim. Mucho sexy.’

I was glowing with
pleasure. ‘I was going to chuck it all out. After today…’