Cathy Hopkins - [Mates, Dates 04] (14 page)

‘It’s not always like
that,’ she said in the end.

‘Phewww,’ I said. ‘So
there’s hope.’

‘Mucho mucho,’ said
Nesta. ‘It can be just how you imagined it and better.’

When I put down the
phone, I felt really happy. That night, as I fell asleep, a different boy
seemed to have taken Scott’s place in my snogging fantasy.

C h a p t e r
 
1 3

The
Mad House

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The next afternoon, I
had half of North London employed as my editorial staff.

At home, I’d asked Mum
and Dad each to write something.

‘We’re theming the
magazine towards summer,’ I said to Dad, ‘so I’d like you to do some handy
hints for travelling abroad from a doctor’s point of view. Make it relevant. A
mini medical cabinet that you could pack in a suitcase. Stuff for sunburn,
mosquitoes, the runs and so on.’

‘Will do,’ he said
with a grin.

I think he was really
chuffed to have been asked.

And Mum was doing an
article on how to deal with exam stress.

‘Ten handy hints,’ I
said. ‘It has to be accessible.’

I left them listening
to Radio 4 and sipping Earl Grey tea as they worked.

Over at Nesta’s, Tony
was working on a cartoon for a competition. We were going to invite readers to
send in captions and print the best in the next edition. If there
was
a
next edition.

At Lucy’s, Steve and I
worked en the computer in his and Lal’s bedroom.

Lucy and Nesta were
finishing their articles in the living-room.

Izzie was on the
computer in Lucy’s bedroom, working out horoscopes for the coming month.

Mrs Lovering kept
bringing us herbie drinks with ginseng and some icky-tasting stuff called
Guryana.

‘Keeps you alert’, she
said.

And Mr Lovering sat in
the kitchen playing his guitar.

‘Music to inspire the
workers,’ he said, when I went down to ask for a new ink cartridge for the
printer. How a rendition of You Ain’t Nothing But a Hound Dog was supposed to
motivate us, I have no idea, but Ben and Jerry seemed to like it as they joined
in, howling away with great gusto.

‘This place is a
mad
house,’ sais Lal, looking at his dad with disapproval. ‘I’m off
somewhere normal. Where I can
think
in peace!’

‘Go to my house,
then,’ I said. ‘It’s like a morgue.’

No one’s ever happy
with their lot, I thought, as I watched his storm off in a huff. I’m sure Mum
and Dad would agree with Lal if they came over but I loved it. Mr L (as Izzie
calls him) is a real laugh and as opposite to my dad as anyone you could meet.
He’s an old hippie who’s losing his hair, yet has a ponytail. And he wears very
bright Hawaiian shirts and Indian sandals. Mrs L is hippie-dippie too, today
wearing a Peruvian skirt with mirrors round the hern and a rather strange
crocheted top.

‘You OK, TJ?’ asked
Steve, when I went back upstairs. ‘You’re kind of quiet today.’

‘
Yuh, yunewee,’
I
muttered.

A
lot
had
happened in the last twenty-four hours. Mainly in my head. I’d had my eyes
opened to what a user Scott was and I was experiencing an almighty twinge of
conscience that I’d treated Steve the same way. Someone to earbash with my
problems. Only last week I’d been on about how much I fancied Scott and how he
never noticed me and treated me like a mate and nothing more. That was
exactly
how I’d treated Steve. And he’d been so sweet, reassuring me that I was
fanciable and telling me how boys really felt about girls.

As I sat next to him
at the desk, I felt the warmth of his arm against mine and caught the scent of
soap on his skin. Back came the old fluttery feeling, only this time, I was
with Steve, not Scott. How had I not noticed what nice eyes he had? Kind.
Hazel-brown with honey flecks around the iris. And good hands, I thought, as he
pressed keys on the computer keyboard, long fingers, elegant.

And it was too late.
If I said anything, he’d think I was a complete airhead. Fickle and a half. In
love with Scott one week, fancying him the next.

‘So have you decided
what to do about Wendy Roberts and her dentures?’ asked Steve, leaning over me
to see what I’d written.

‘Er,
yu
… MM…
wee
…
Wendy, yes. I’ve
decided I’m not going to stoop to her level. I’ll save stuff like that for my
secret notebook and use it later when I write novels.’

‘Good for you,’ said
Steve. ‘So do you reckon we’ll be ready to hand the mag in on Monday?’

‘
Nih… ing… yah
…’ I said, cursing Alien Girl who had taken over my vocal chords. ‘Umost. I
mean, almost.’

Steve was looking at
me as though I had two heads.

‘Gottask Luceand
Nestasomething. Backinaminute,’ I said, jumping up.

I stumbled downstairs
to find Lucy and Nesta. I needed help.

I sat on the floor and
put my head in my hands.
‘Ag.
Agh. Agherama.’

‘Hey, it’ll be all
right. We’re almost there,’ said Nesta. ‘We’ll do it on time.’

‘Do what?’ I said,
looking up.

‘The mag.’

‘Oh it’s not that.
It’s…“ I looked at Lucy. Steve was her brother. What would
she
jthink
if she knew I’d been fantasising about him? She knew how I felt about Scott.
She’d think I was a complete tart for changing my mind so fast.

‘So what is it?’ asked
Lucy.

‘Nothing,’ I said.

‘Yeah, looks like it,’
said Nesta. ‘Come on, spill.’

I sighed. Then looked
at the two of them waiting expectantly. Then I sighed again.

Nesta and Lucy started
doing big sighs as well. Then really exaggerating them, heaving huge extended
breaths until I had to laugh.

‘OK. Lie out on the
sofa,’ said Lucy.

I did as I was told
and Lucy sat at the other end.

‘So Miss Vatts. Vat
seems to be ze problem?’

I couldn’t say.
Silence. Big silence. It grew and filled the room.

‘Ah. Boy trouble,’
said Lucy.

‘But which boy?’ said
Nesta. ‘You’re over Scott
n’est-ce pas
?’

I nodded. ‘It’s
another boy who I’ve only just realised I like. Much nicer than Scott. And now
I’m all tongue-tied and stupid around him. And I think I’ve blown it. And it’s
probably too late.’

‘Oh, you mean
Steve
?’
asked Lucy.

‘
How
did you
know?’

‘Kind of obvious from
the start,’ said Lucy.

‘
Obvious
? To
who?
I’ve
only just realised. And who knows what’s going on in his head. If he
likes
me
.’

‘Er,
hello
?’
said Lucy. ‘What planet are you on exactly?’

‘Planet Zog,
actually,’ I said and explained all about Noola and her ability to take over my
head.

‘Well, for your
information, Steve hasn’t stopped talking about you and asking about you ever
since he met you,’ said Lucy. ‘And he was well miffed with the fact you fancied
Scott. Didn’t you notice how weirded out he was when we bumped into Scott in
Hampstead?’

‘Suppose he was kind of
quiet that day. I thought I’d done something to upset him.’

‘D’oh.
Yeah. You
had,’ said Lucy. ‘Fancied someone else.’

Izzie came down the
stairs and flopped on the sofa.

‘Whassup?’ she asked.

‘TJ,’ said Nesta. ‘She
turns into Noola the Alien Girl whenever she fancies a boy. Noola only knows
three words. Tell her, TJ.’

‘Uhyuh. Yunewee.
And nihingyah.’

Lucy started giggling
and doing an alien robot impersonation like CP30 in
Star Wars
up and
down the room.

‘
Uhyuh
,’ she
squeaked in a high voice. ‘
Yunewee. Nihingyaaaah
.’

We were laughing so
hard that Steve came down to see what was going on. Of course, I went purple.

‘So?’ said Steve.

‘So noth… nothing,’
chuckled Nesta.

‘Just something Lucy
said,’ said Izzie.

Steve looked up to the
heavens, then turned to me. ‘You coming back to finish your editorial?’

‘Uh…
uhyuh
,’
I said - and Lucy exploded with laughter.

Steve heaved a sigh,
which Lucy and Nesta copied.

Steve looked at us all
as though we were stupid.‘
When
you’re ready, TJ,’ he said and went
back to his room.

‘See, do you
see
now?’ I said. ‘I’m going to blow it. And we were getting on so well and now I’m
going to act like an idiot around him and he’ll think I’m Dork from Dorkland,
Nerd from Nerdville, Airhead from…’

‘Shut the door, Lucy,’
said Izzie. ‘We clearly have work to do.’

We spent the next
twenty minutes doing a visualisation with Izzie. She’s well into self-help
stuff and had been reading in one of her books about positive thinking.

‘It’s all in the
mind,’ she said. ‘You can get over this and put Noola the Alien Girl to rest.
But you have to see yourself acting confidently. I’ve been reading all about it
for when I do gigs.’

‘But I think you’re
either confident or not,’ I said. ‘Like Nesta. It’s not something you can
learn.’

‘Oh, yes it is,’ said
Nesta. ‘We all have our own tricks. Sometimes, I pretend I’m a character out of
a film if I feel nervous. Then I act as I think they would. It really works.’

‘And I used to be
hopeless about singing in public,’ said Izzie. ‘So bad I couldn’t sleep at
night. I used to be well terrified of looking a fool and this has really
helped.’

‘So, you think I could
learn to talk sense when I meet a boy I like?’

‘Definitely,’ said
Izzie. ‘In fact, my book says, “we are what we repeatedly do. Confidence is not
an act but a habit.” You have to practise.’

‘Cool,’ said Lucy.
‘Sounds good to me. What do we do?’

Izzie made us all sit
down and close our eyes. First, we had to imagine the situation we felt nervous
in, so I thought about being close to Steve upstairs. We had to imagine the
room, the surroundings, what we were wearing, all the details.

Then Izzie said,
‘Imagine yourself being relaxed, calm and completely in control. Imagine the
other person’s response to you. In your mind, see them laughing at your jokes,
listening with interest to what you say,
liking
you.’

She made us imagine
the situation over and over again until in my imagination, Steve was gawping at
me in open admiration, amazed at my witticisms. In
awe
at my brilliant
conversation.

‘OK, open your eyes,
everyone.’