Caught in the Flames (37 page)

“Okay.” I pick up a paper bag filled with food only to have it rip at the bottom. Two cans tumble out and nearly take out my big toe. Ash reaches out to stop anything else from falling, his hands a temporary patch until we set the bag and its contents onto the ridiculous mountain of non-perishables.

I appraise the mess once more before meeting Ash’s gaze. “I say we sort first and then divide into food boxes. Any way you can get a table in here?”

“You got it, boss. You tell me what to do and I’ll do it.” He salutes and gingerly steps over a few bags on his way out of the room.

“Oh, and some tunes. We need music,” I call over my shoulder.

“On it!” Ash disappears and I take a deep breath. Okay, food donations, I hope you’ve enjoyed the party but it’s time for Callie to work her magic. I mentally take inventory as I move everything over to one side of the room. When Ash returns we set up a long folding table against the empty wall.

Thankfully, I never leave home without a pad of sticky notes and assorted markers. While Ash runs to get the speaker dock from the kitchen I jot down categories: veggies, side dishes, cereal, baking supplies, and miscellaneous, each on its own note and stick them on the wall above the table.

Ash nods approvingly after plugging in some music and hauls a heavy box over to the foot of the table. His ball cap covered head bobs to the beat of Pitbull and we work together, unpacking and sorting, in an almost choreographed manner. Before I’m through with a box or bag he’s already there, setting another full one in its place.

There’s a shit ton of food so it doesn’t take long before the table is overflowing. Ash continues unpacking and I grab a now empty box, repacking it with canned veggies. As soon as I have it full, Ash moves the box away. My control freak tendencies flare with the fear he’ll fuck up my perfect system and I almost reach out to stop him. But something about the way he moves, carrying the heavy box and setting it off to the side causes me to pause and watch.

Okay. I’m perving. Totally checking him out. He chews the inside of his cheek and his brows scrunch together as he digs around in the box. His lips move just in the slightest and that’s when I realize he’s counting. He stops, folds the top closed and pulls a sharpie from his back pocket to mark the top and sides with a clearly legible “27 – VEG.” I’m totally impressed.

“I like the way you think, Ashley.” I smile and go back to sorting food.

Ash moves to my side, bringing more unsorted boxes over. “But the real question is . . .” He clears his throat and dances his way back. “Does that make you horny, baby?” He adopts the worst British accent imaginable.

I laugh, but honestly it kind of does. “Maybe,” I tease and Ash’s eyes sparkle. The skin at the corners of his eyes crinkle with his smile.

“Other girls want jewelry and expensive gifts. You just want color coordinated sticky notes and boxed non-perishables.”

“You think you know me so well.” I roll my eyes.

“Hell yeah, I do!” He smiles and puffs out his chest. “I bet if I got one of those electronic label makers you’d agree to another sexcation.”

Sexcation?
My lady parts jump up and down, hands in the air, begging to get on board with this plan. I swallow and try for lighthearted. “Anyone ever tell you no one likes a tease, Ash? If you’re not gonna put out . . .” The words die on my lips as my gaze locks with his. His eyes are liquid amber, less green than they’ve ever appeared, and his lips pull wide into that smile that’s full of trouble and promise.

He steps toward me and I slide out of the way, almost dropping the box of mac and cheese I have clutched in my hands. He chuckles, deep and low, and the sound slams straight to my gut, twists my insides, and fills my entire body with heat. We’ve pretended nothing happened last week, just as agreed, and it’s worked, sort of, until this moment. Because right now I want nothing more than for Ash to haul me in his arms and kiss away all my confusing thoughts. That alone has me unable to breathe.

He traps my back against the table, his body inches from mine, and my fingers itch to grab his shirt. I don’t, though. I keep a firm grip on the food in my hands and continue to hold his burning gaze. He reaches behind me and my eyes flutter shut, expecting his lips to brush mine.

His chuckle snaps my lids open and he steps back, presenting a can of condensed milk between us. “Having a tough time concentrating? Doesn’t this go over there?” He nods his head to his side of the table and I bristle because, yes, he has me so distracted I can’t organize, which isn’t good. But even more, I’m pissed that he’s finding my difficulty so damn entertaining. I snag the can and push by his solid frame to slam the milk where it should have gone. Ash laughs louder and I glare but he’s already back on task.

We should talk. I almost say the words aloud. We need to discuss last weekend, about whatever this is or was, that’s going on between us. I almost call his name, almost, but if it’s only me who’s having an issue going from sex partners to friends then I don’t want him to know. I don’t want to be the lame one, the one who can’t handle the well-formed and agreed upon parameters to our relationship. Ash is doing what he promised and seems perfectly fine with the arrangement.

No. I need to say something. I’ll be mixing cereal boxes with canned veggies all day if I don’t. I open my mouth—

Movement catches my gaze from the door as it swings wide open. It’s Chase. He stands inside the frame and if I’m not mistaken he flexes his arms as they cross his broad chest and nods to Ash. “You need any help? We’ve got time until our next call.” He glances over at me and his face softens. “Hey, Callie.”

Words stick in my throat and thankfully Ash answers for us both.

“Sure, as long as you follow sorting protocol. This will go faster with more hands.”

Chase looks back over his shoulder. “Pants, Chavez, Butters, get your lazy asses in here.”

Ash gives out directions and I keep working, head down and focused at the task on hand. With the music loud and so many bodies in the space, there’s no opportunity for conversation. Once we have the room sorted, Ash brings in the smaller food boxes and the guys assemble the flattened cardboard. I set up an assembly line and we have all fifty boxes filled by the time people start trickling in from the different organizations that will hand these boxes out to families in the coming week.

The guys go back to work and Ash and I help carry the boxes out to cars. It’s amazing, talking with these people who volunteer with different non-profits. Hearing the stories of the families who will receive the generosity of our community makes me proud to live here and be involved today.

“Last two boxes,” I say to Ash.

“Yeah, and I just saw Mr. Peterson pull up in his truck. I’ll carry these out if you wanna stay here.”

“Sure. I’ll just clean up,” I say and Ash raises his brow. Okay, so I’ve been tidying up the entire day, but there are still a few extra boxes to break down.

“’Kay, and maybe we can grab lunch before I take you home? I’m starving.”

“Sounds good.”

Ash leaves and I sit down on the floor because my feet ache from standing all day. I reach over, flip one box onto my lap, and rip the tape off the bottom. The soft click of the door interrupts my actions. “Well, that was fast—” I stumble over my words when I realize it’s not Ash. Chase purses his lips, his gaze intense and chocolatey, as he rocks on his heels. I scramble to stand.

“Hey, Callie.” His voice throws me off kilter.

“Chase.” I nod and he doesn’t say anything else, just stares his unnerving stare. I don’t know what he wants, what he needs, but I can’t help but ask. “Chase, what’s going on? Did you need something?”

“Callie.” He steps forward but stops a few feet from me. “Callie, we need to talk.”

My eyes dart around the room, looking for an escape. He wants to talk. Now? I battle inside between the need to hear him out and the desire to tell him to fuck off.

“Callie?” he pleads with that melted chocolate stare and I know I’m about to give in to what he wants.

“Okay. Ten minutes,” I say, stronger than I feel.

I hate that I’m doing this.

But I want—no, I
need
to hear whatever it is Chase has to say. Even if it hurts. Even if it sets me back. I need to move on from him and I’m so fucking close. I can feel it every day, in the lightness of my step, the joy in my life, I’m becoming more of me, the Callie I want to be.

“Callie, I made a giant fucking mistake.” He gazes into my eyes and holds my hands in his. His words are raw, honest, and all I ever wanted to hear. “Probably the worst day of my life was the day I let you walk out of my life. I’ve tried living without you these past months and I can’t. You’re everything I want in my life.”

“What?” I croak. His words hit like an uppercut to the ribcage. I don’t see them coming and though I will them not to, tears leak from the corners of my eyes and roll down my cheeks. I can’t believe he’s saying this. Why now? Now I’m so confused. He cheated on me. He fucked this up. He fucked with my mind. My confidence. My happiness. Can I let someone like him back into my life? After the hurt he caused?

“I want you, Callie Gordon. Can you forgive me? Give us another chance?” His eyes burn with such passion I have to drop my gaze. I can’t look at him and not be transported to the time when we were together. When everything was perfect. When he was mine.

“Fuck!” He drops my hands and takes a step away. The space he allows brings my gaze back to his face. Chase pulls his ball cap off and runs his hand through his hair. “Please tell me I didn’t fuck this up so much that you won’t give what we had another shot. Remember how good we were together?” He reaches out to run his rough fingertips down my left arm. I step out of his touch, where he can’t reach me. I wrap my arms protectively across my chest because if he pushes this I’ll be tempted to wrap them around him instead.

“Why?” My voice breaks. “Why, Chase? Why now?”

“What the fuck?” Ash’s low growl is full of anger and disdain. He steps close behind. I sense his presence, but my eyes are locked with Chase’s and I can’t seem to tear them away. “Haven’t you done enough damage? Come on, Callie, I’ll walk you out.”

“She doesn’t want to leave.” Chase says.

Ash scoffs and his strong hands are steady and gentle at my arms. I glance to my side to meet his kind eyes and lean into him.

“She can speak for herself,” Ash says. His gaze flicks to Chase and his entire demeanor changes. I’ve never been scared of Ash. And sure, he’s not a teddy bear, but the glare he directs at Chase has me gripping his arm. It wouldn’t take much for Ash to attack and beat the shit out of Chase. “She’s not here for you,” Ash says.

Chase laughs and that cocky know-it-all grin fills his face. “Isn’t she, though?” He pins me with his stare. “Just think about what I said, okay? I’ll see you around.” He struts out of the room.

And just like that, he’s done it again. Taken the pieces of my life, put them in a box, flipped it upside down, and shaken the mother fucking hell out of me. The pieces of my heart that I’d carefully glued back together are now a clusterfuck.

I sniff back the snot that threatens to leak out of my nostrils and wipe the tears from my eyes, cheeks, and neck with the sleeves of my hoodie.
Real attractive Callie.
God, I’m a mess.

“Please tell me you’re not considering going back to him.” Ash’s jaw clenches and his words are harsh. Great! On top of all of this, Ash is pissed.

“I don’t know what to think right now,” I admit and blow out a breath. My gaze finds his eyes hard and cold. My friend, the man who’s quickly become my best of friends glares at me as though I’ve lost my mind.

“How can you even say that? Shit, Callie! He’s an asshole. He doesn’t deserve you. He hasn’t earned one ounce of your love. Do you get that? Do you see he’s a selfish fucking prick?” Ash yells and I shake my head and step away. He’s never spoken like this, at least not to me.

“You don’t know, Ash. You weren’t there. You didn’t see us together. How good we were, how much I loved him.”

Now he shakes his head. “No! Fuck that! I
was
there. I was there to pick up after the fucking mess he left behind. I was there when you were the shell of the woman you are today.
Because of him
. Because of how much he didn’t respect you.” He paces back and forth in front of me. His anger radiates off his body and it’s so strong I can’t help but think about what he could do when put to the test.

“But he’s sorry, Ash. It was written all over his face. What am I supposed to do? Tell him no?” Because I’m not sure I can ever tell Chase no. This scares me. After months, he still has the same hold over me.

“Yes. That’s exactly what you do.”

“But what if I can’t?” The words leave my lips a whisper. My hand goes to my chest and rubs at my heart. The spot where it hurts when I think about Chase. Tears fall from my face of their own accord.

“Fuck!” Ash turns and shoves at the first thing he sees. It happens to be the now empty folding table, the one he set up earlier to hold my organization OCD. The table flips and crashes into the wall with a clatter, knocking a few empty boxes over as well.