Caught on Camera with the CEO (12 page)

‘For a lot of the time it was just the two of us.' Those were the best times. When her mother wasn't bending herself into any shape the new guy wanted—trying to please him, to keep him, to make him love her. She'd never seemed to feel able to just be herself. Because she was loveable. Her mother had been a fun, generous, wonderful woman. But she'd also been co-dependent, believing it was impossible to be happy if she didn't have a man.

‘So you decided to have your joy boys rather than relationships? Is that what happened?'

She wrinkled her nose. She should never have made that lot up.

‘How many were there, really?' He bent to look into her eyes, his own glinting.

‘What is this? You going on
Mastermind
and your topic of choice is the scintillating life of Dani Russo?'

He chuckled. ‘I'm betting one. Two at the most.
Boyfriends.
'

‘You think you're so smart,' she grumbled. ‘What is it you really want to know, Alex? You think one broke my heart? Put me off men?'

‘Maybe,' he answered calmly. ‘I want to know who and how.'

‘I haven't been put off completely,' she said brazenly. ‘I wouldn't be sleeping with you if I had.' She turned and started to run. ‘Race you to the car!'

She had a good head start, but she knew he was fast. As she ran ahead of him the old memories flashed faster than her feet. Yes, she'd had a boyfriend. After almost making it through her teens without becoming a statistic as her mum had, she'd finally fallen for one of the neighbourhood guys—the older brother of another of her employer's cadets. He'd pursued her so hard and so sweetly—or so she'd believed. Only she'd been determinedly single for so long she hadn't known she'd become a sport to the gang of them—the ultimate challenge. It had taken him six months of occasional dates, but he'd won a crate of beer for being the one to bed her. He'd bragged and betrayed her intimate secrets.

She'd been such a naive idiot it was embarrassing and she didn't want to tell Alex a thing about that one. What was she doing going all Oprah-sofa-open anyway? He'd heard more than enough already.

He overtook her in the last five metres to the car—easily striding out, and she knew he'd been holding back to let her think she could win. She leant against the door, trying to catch her breath back. But it was impossible. She couldn't touch the bottom of this pool they were swimming in anymore. She was way out of her depth. She didn't want them to just be bed buddies. She didn't want this ever to end.

So she was just like every other woman who'd slept with him—once bitten, his forever. That was why all his old flames stayed friends with him—because their hope sprang eternal, that he'd go back to them. And she couldn't blame any of them. Because when he turned his full attentiveness on?

All-consuming delight.

She shivered. Was this the feeling that had made her mother act so stupidly time and time again? To get so stuck on someone that she became blind to all those glaringly obvious faults?

Except what were Alex's faults again?

Oh, that was right. He didn't want a
relationship
. He just liked sex. And she was merely his current playmate. But what about last night? It hadn't been a night of pure physical pleasure and release. It hadn't been that at all. It had been much more. There'd been no physical intimacy, but total emotional honesty. She'd opened up to him, cared for him—shown him. But hadn't he opened up to her too? She couldn't help hoping he had—because although he didn't know it, last night he'd got that last little pocket of her heart too.

 

‘Let's go to the movies.' Alex hadn't been to the movies in years. It'd be like a date—following on from the afternoon in the park. He was still smiling about the sight of her running ahead of him and the basic instinct that had risen in him—driving him to overtake her. Really he'd just wanted to catch her close, for he was still feeling vicious about what had happened to her years before. He could hardly bear to think about it.

They went home to shower and change, then went to a pizza restaurant where she had one of her egg-and-spinach numbers. Then the movie.

If he'd hoped that taking her to a spooky thriller would have her pouncing into his lap halfway through, he'd have been dis
appointed. But as it was he'd have been disappointed if she
had
. No way was his wannabe street fighter going to be scared by some movie. No, it was the more subtle things that set her on edge. Like him calling her Danielle.

‘It's such a pretty name.' He spread his hands peaceably when she glared at him across the table at the café after, her forkful of cake suspended mid-air.

‘I prefer Dani.'

‘Dani like a boy?'

Her chin tilted.

Yeah, that was it. As if an abbreviation of her pretty name could possibly desexualise her. She was the ultimate in feminine—soft and curvy, short and sweet—though she'd probably kill him if he said so. But he understood why she'd wanted to hide from the succession of men in her mother's life, why she made out as if she were Ms Aggressive Man Eater—she didn't trust people. And who could blame her? Hell, he knew how hard it was to trust—and Dani had every reason to be as wary as him. Like him she'd been betrayed by someone she should have been able to trust completely—a parent.

But if he'd decided to be some kind of a chivalrous gent, planning to take the time to woo her—to win her trust and then win her completely—he supposed he shouldn't take her to bed tonight. He should just kiss her softly good-night—hold her close and then gently break away. Bide his time and all that. But Alex hadn't conquered the finance markets by being slow. Alex won by seeing opportunities and seizing them.

And this was one advantage he knew he had and he was going to play it for all he was worth. Besides, he just couldn't help himself.

Once inside the door he turned her into his arms. But as he kissed her, a whole new depth of feeling arose. Really, he
could kiss her for hours and instantly resolved to. He loved the promise of everything that he felt when he was with her—the feeling of such rightness. He didn't want to sleep with anyone else. But much more importantly than that, he wanted to see her happy. Hell, how he wanted that for her.

D
ANI
pushed back so she could look at Alex. Really look at him. He said nothing, but he met her gaze—unwaveringly, openly, devastatingly. She couldn't speak, couldn't move, could only stare at the warmth, the promise of absolutely everything in his eyes.

He moved to kiss her again, so slowly, with almost unbearable restraint. The gentleness seemed to flay her skin raw. Slow kisses, kisses that grew deeper and deeper still. Kisses that—she suddenly realised—were filled with infinite tenderness.

She started to shake.

His hands smoothed down her arms, settled on her waist and gently pulled her closer.

‘We have all night,' he murmured, kissing her eyelids closed.

He made her feel as if they had forever.

Dani moved uncontrollably, absolutely undone by his slow sweetness. He kissed her, kept kissing her—raining them all over her face and neck and shoulders and breasts and returning, always returning to her mouth, for such intimate, deep caresses. She met him with the infinite, yearning need of her own. Her hands lifted. She too needed to touch, to caress, to
care
. She found him so beautiful.

They moved slowly, working their way upstairs. No words
interfered with the beautiful bliss of the moment—the magic between them too powerful to allow anything but truth in their actions.

Eventually, as inevitably as the sun set in the evening sky, their passion rose. Touches grew firmer, faster as their breathing roughened. The emotion that made her cling to him wasn't just born of a need deep in her belly, but from the core of her heart too: to be close—to be one.

And then they were. Their hands laced, bodies intertwined, breath mingling as she met his gaze in wonder. She heard his choked cry and felt the way he muttered her name. She never knew what she said in response—whether it was words or just the pure sound of an all emotional ecstasy that seemed to endlessly pour from her.

Long moments later he rolled, taking her with him so she sprawled over his broad chest, locking her in his arms so she was kept warm and snug and safe. Yet somehow she still felt as if she were flying. As if she'd been freed—able to soar higher and further than she'd ever dreamed was possible.

He drew the sheet up to cover them, his hand drawing gentle circles on her back, soothing her still-too-sensitive skin. Slowly her breathing regulated, matching the gentle rise and fall of his chest. Her muscles softened as she relaxed completely and his arms tightened just that little more. Utterly at peace, she slept.

 

Alex heard the beep of his phone. It was in his trousers, which had been shed halfway down the stairs. He thought about ignoring it. Except the workaholic in him couldn't. Carefully, he slipped out from beneath his sleeping sweetheart. The query took only a minute to deal with. From habit he flicked through the rest of the messages that had landed while he'd
been so utterly lost in Dani. He paused as he saw the number. Quietly he went down into the study, locked the door and dialled. The investigator answered on the second ring.

‘Tell me everything.'

Almost an hour later he put the phone down. Stared out of the window at the dark garden and tried to take it in. Tried to decide what the hell he was going to do about it. How on earth was he going to tell her?

He didn't want to. He just didn't want to.

He'd never thought of himself as a coward before, but right now he knew he was. Dani didn't want to be lonely anymore, did she? Sure, she said she didn't want relationships, didn't want a lover, but she wanted a family. That was why she wanted to find her brother. He shifted in his chair. Yeah. There it was. That flicker of jealousy. Her brother would have had more of a claim on her than Alex did. She wanted that kind of relationship, not any other. So stupid, so wrong of him to feel jealous of that. And why did he?

Because he wanted her himself. He wanted his own relationship with her.

But not like this. It didn't have to be one or the other. She should have had both. She should have had everything.

It was the one thing he knew would make her crumble. And he couldn't bear to be the one to destroy her hopes. She'd waited for so long, wanted for so long. But it wasn't to be. And he was going to have to tell her.

He really didn't want to.

And, yeah, there was that other selfish reason too, wasn't there—why he wasn't waking her, telling her right now as he should be?

He didn't want her to leave.

Once she knew, she'd walk out of his life. He knew it in
his bones. While she might be beginning to open up, it wasn't enough yet. He hadn't had enough time to build the kind of bridge he'd never before built, that he knew she hadn't built, and he was afraid of losing her.

So he wouldn't do it. Not yet. He'd wait for the morning. Besides—the lab tests hadn't come in. He could justify the delay then—sure he could. He'd wait until he had all the proof.

And then he'd tell her.

He walked back up the stairs, stared at the little lump she made in his bed. She stirred slightly as he slipped in beside her. He gently wrapped his arms around her, stroking her hair, soothing her back into sleep.

But the future pressed heavy on his heart. He wished like hell it had been different. It was too awful that he had Patrick wanting to mend fences with him, but that Dani was to have nothing—when she wanted and he didn't. She deserved so much more. He waited, watched as the sky lightened and wished he could make a bargain with either a god or a demon to trade her loss over to him. Hoped against hopelessness—prayed that in the darkness she would turn to him.

When she woke the sun was streaming in, and when she saw he was still there beside her, her colour mounted. She almost looked shy. ‘Shouldn't you be up already answering a million messages or something?'

Alex managed a small smile. She wasn't happy with him staying in bed with her? His tough cookie felt uneasy when he spent so much time with her. Too bad, because he was about to spend a whole lot more. No matter what, he was determined to stick with her through this.

She was like a little wild cat. If you stretched out a hand to caress her you might get scratched. Even though inside she was
yearning for that little bit of love, her first instinct was to defend. Because she couldn't be sure you weren't going to hurt her.

Alex figured he could handle a few surface scratches. It was worth it because when she did relax she was the softest, sweetest playmate—with that hint of snap-your-head-off danger. His whole point of focus had shifted. No longer was this about a spot of play in a time of stress. It was all about her.

Trust took time, though. And he didn't have a lot of time. He had to make quick progress—and he'd make the most of any advantage he had to do it.

He swallowed the guilt and reached for her—surely it would be worth it. He wanted her to have the day—not to know just yet. A few more hours until there was certainty. Then he'd tell her.

 

Dani couldn't put last night out of her head—the way they'd been together, the way he'd held her, so close and right through 'til the sun shone high and bright through the window. And the way he looked at her…

Oh, she was so under his spell, and dreaming of that ending common to all fairytales—the happy-ever-after one.

When she slid into his car after work he leaned over and kissed her—another of those kisses that combined the sweetest tenderness with the most sultry passion. She smiled at him, her heart in her throat, in her eyes, beating its message loud in her ears. Surely he must see and hear it and feel it too? He took her hand in his as he drove them home. She didn't think she'd ever felt so happy.

‘It's a play premiere, right?' She checked on the plan as she changed.

He nodded.

She smoothed down her black dress. She was going to
have to go shopping soon—another outing in this number and she'd be letting Alex down.

His phone rang again.

‘You better be sure to switch that off in the theatre.'

‘Vibrate,' he muttered, looking at the screen and turning away to take the call.

Dani finished combing her hair and leant closer to the mirror to carefully slide in the hairclip and then do her lippy.

‘Dani.'

She looked up to see his reflection, struck by the new note in his voice. The tux was gorgeous. But his face was ashen.

‘Alex?' She spun to face him.

‘I have to tell you something.'

Whatever it was, it wasn't going to be good. He looked worse than when he'd told her about Patrick. Only this wasn't about him, this was about her. She knew because of the way he was looking at her—as if he didn't want to.

‘You've found him.'

‘Yes.'

She almost couldn't bear to ask. He was looking so solemn. Why? What was wrong? What had happened? ‘Why are you looking so serious?' She couldn't do anything more than whisper.

‘Because it's not what you wanted, Dani.'

She couldn't breathe. ‘He doesn't want to meet me?'

‘No.' Alex pushed out a long breath. ‘He's dead, Dani.'

‘
What?'
She couldn't move. ‘He's what?'

‘His name was Jack Parker. He got adopted into a really nice family. Did fine at school. He was going into the family business—working with his father.'

‘What happened?' She needed to know: how, when—dead? Had he really said
dead
?

‘A car accident. It wasn't his fault—he was in the wrong place, at the wrong time.'

‘He was killed.' She was staring, unblinking, but didn't know what she was seeing.

‘He was in a coma for a couple of days and then he died. It was five years ago.'

Dani's heart just stopped. All of her stopped.
Five years ago?
He'd died before their mother. He'd died before Dani had even known about him.

‘Dani?'

She forced herself to swallow. It seemed like a huge action, her whole body involved in the effort. She blinked. Alex was right in front of her, his hand outstretched as if he was about to take her arm. She turned away and forced in a long, controlled breath. ‘That's great he found a family.'

‘Yeah, they seem really nice,' Alex said quietly. ‘They offered to meet with you, if you'd like. They have photos they'd share, would talk to you about him.'

Dani bent her head. ‘I don't think that would be a good idea.'

‘Dani—'

‘I know now. That's all that matters. It's finished.'

‘No, it isn't. It's only just started.'

Dani closed her eyes. No. She didn't want to think on this anymore. Not right now. She didn't want to take it in.

Jack Parker.

She pushed the name away—didn't want him to become real; it would only heighten the loss. What she needed now was oblivion. And she'd make the most of the opiate she had right here. She turned back to Alex, didn't look into his eyes, just looked at his broad chest. In her mind's eye she could see the muscles beneath the suit—he was the perfect instrument of pleasure. Even now she could see his whole body tense.

‘Dani, you need—'

‘Action.' She walked towards him.

‘No, you need to talk. To me.'

‘No.' She shook her head, and pressed against him. ‘I need action. That's all.'

He caught her hands before she could even try to tease him into play. Damn. She could be mindless in less than a minute if only he'd touch her.

‘This is too important. Dani. No.' His grip on her wrists eased, his thumbs stroking. ‘It's OK to grieve, Dani.'

No, it wasn't. She didn't want to cry. She didn't want to feel anything—she just wanted to forget.

Because if she didn't forget it—and soon—she'd want to lean on Alex and cry. Dani never cried, certainly not in front of anyone. She drew on the iron will she'd built up inside her over the last year. She was not going to be weak—she was not going to let it out. She didn't want to be that vulnerable. Her heart hurt too much already. And if she acknowledged it, it would hurt more—she couldn't bear to be hurt more.

‘There's nothing to grieve. I never even met him.' She denied it all. ‘I wanted to know. Now I do.'

‘No, you wanted family. You wanted someone.'

She shook her head. ‘I don't need anyone.'

‘Dani,' he admonished gently.

She stood still, fighting the gaping wound inside, determined to stop the hurt gushing out of her. She couldn't cope if it did. She couldn't let this become
real
. But she couldn't stop that last little thread of hope uncurling. ‘You're sure. I mean, there's no doubt, is there? It's definitely him?'

‘The DNA test proved it.'

‘The DNA test?' Stunned, she pulled her wrists free and stared at him. ‘What DNA test?'

There was no hiding the guilt in his face now.

‘You did a DNA test without my knowing?' Her voice rose up into screech territory. ‘How the hell did you do that—take a pubic hair or something?' She felt that violated.

‘Dani.' He took her shoulders firmly.

‘Did you dig up his grave?' Raw feeling surged through her veins—the kind of feeling that gave her the strength she needed right now—
anger
. ‘How long have you known?' He had to have known something to get the tests done. ‘Why didn't you tell me you thought you'd found him sooner?' Yes, it was easy to be angry. So easy to be furiously angry with Alex.

‘I didn't want to get your hopes up until it was certain. I didn't want to hurt you.'

Well, right now she wanted to hurt him. ‘So last night you knew.'

‘I found out late last night. But I only got the lab confirmation in that call just now.'

She hardly heard him. So it had been pity that had driven his tenderness this morning. ‘You're a bastard, Alex. You're such a bastard.'