Celtic Evil: A Fitzgerald Brother Novel: Roarke (30 page)

So involved in what he was
doing, Roarke didn’t even notice that his brothers had fallen
silent, or that his powers had activated so to cause a soft glow to
surround the bed.

“We’ve been through so much
and no matter what, you are always there when I need you to be even
when I’m not the greatest to be around,” he continued, hearing Ryan
snicker at that but he didn’t care by this point. He only wanted to
see his friend’s blue eyes open.

“I know what Sebastian made
you see, luv.” This time Roarke let his other hand rest on her
cheek, feeling the wetness from tears she’d cried in her uneasy
sleep. “I know what he did. I know he used my image, my voice and
your trust of me to hurt you in the very way I said I’d never but I
need you to hear me and I need you to trust me just one more
time,
a gra
.”

Leaning up slowly, he
lightly pressed his lips to her brow, then let his forehead rest
against hers. “Wake up,
muirnin
(sweetheart) and let me take the pain.”

“Can he do that?” Ian whispered, knowing one
didn’t have to be an empath to feel the emotions in that room.

Mac was considering while
Kerry sighed. “Yes, but it’s more dangerous for Roarke since he’s
always been too susceptible to strong emotions or wounds,” he
explained, seeing that Mac also knew this. “If he were to take too
much…”

“He’d hurt himself rather
than help her,” Mac rolled his eyes, wondering how he’d gotten so
many stubborn brothers.

Ryan had been watching more
closely and saw his brother’s power was coming on stronger as the
lights seemed to glitter and as always, Roarke’s eyes and face took
on an almost ethereal look when he used them at this level. “Think
it could be too late for those concerns,” he called.

“Roarke, be careful,” Mac
warned, knowing why he was doing this. “I can heal Jess if you get
her awake.”

“No. I left Jessie alone, I
left her open to him and I hurt her, so I’ll do this,” Roarke
replied, voice tight, as he didn’t want to admit the strain this
was having on him.

Ian shook his head as he
neared the bed. “You were lured outside which left Jessica alone,
and that was what they had planned, Roarke,” he told his brother,
seeing the strain. “Let Mac help.”

Roarke was about to speak
when Jessica whimpered, twisting violently until her eyes snapped
open, and looking around quickly while she struggled to sit
up.

“Take it easy, luv,” Kerry
spoke soothingly, seeing that her eyes had a cloudy sheen over
them, she was rubbing at them, and he nudged Roarke’s
arm.

Remembering that Sebastian had blinded her,
Roarke gently took her fists away from her eyes and lightly ran his
hand over them to ease any leftover effects.

When she jerked at the
touch, he sighed and began to ease away. “She’s still scared,
Kerry, and I don’t want to make it… What?”

Roarke looked down when he
felt her make a grasp for his arm. “Jessica?” he made no further
moves to touch her, just waited.

Still frightened and uncertain, the girl
fought to clear her vision so she could see and also to clear her
inner vision so she could be certain if what she did see was
correct.

She had begun to wake up
and was instantly overwhelmed with the memories of last night and
the pain in her upper chest. The voices and thoughts near her were
familiar and didn’t cause the same bad feelings, but it wasn’t
until she had heard Roarke’s voice and thoughts that she had come
around more, but she also felt his darker thoughts.

When she felt him start to
move away, her first instinct was to latch on, needing his presence
most of all, but was still too weak and scared from the
aftereffects of Sebastian’s spells to do more than try to grasp his
arm.

“Give her time, brat,” Ryan
urged, knowing they all had doubts to the extent of her injuries at
the wizard’s hands.

Wanting to hold her but
afraid to rush it, Roarke just took Jessica’s hands in both of his
and held on as tight as he dared right then. “I’m here, Jess,” he
promised, fighting to keep his voice from breaking as he watched
her eyes slowly refocus and lock on his. “We’re here with
you.”

“I doubt if she really
cares about that right about now,” Ryan muttered, wincing as Mac
threw a hard elbow back to his ribs.

“Let’s leave them alone for
a minute,” Kerry decided, placing a hand on his brother’s neck to
reassure him and felt him nod.

Neither Mac nor Ryan seemed
to like that plan, but Ian had leaned out the door and blinked.
“Mac, did you know our grandfather is telling Maggie about changing
your diapers?”

A low growl came before Mac
bolted from the bedroom and Ryan snickered. “Yep, this should be
fun,” he paused to lean down to whisper something to his
brother.

“I know, Ry,” Roarke
murmured, and then his full attention was on his friend who still
seemed so pale and edgy to him.

A strained silence filled
the bedroom for a long while as he just looked and felt. His own
emotions going through a varying range of changes until finally he
was satisfied both his tone and emotions were in
control.

“God, I am so sorry,” he
whispered, still on his knees by the bed, and he just brought her
hands to his lips, holding them there as he held her eyes. “I knew
telling you how I felt would place you more at risk but I couldn’t
have… I mean… this shouldn’t have… God.”

“…
Roarke...” her soft
accent strained but just hearing her voice made some of the unease
in his gut smooth. “Not your… fault.”

Jessica still labored to
breathe right due to the trauma but she could feel his emotions and
knew what he was doing to himself and had done for her.

“The son of a bitch made
you see me.” That was his biggest issue, but something else tugged
though he was afraid to ask. “Did… did you think it was me,
luv?”

“Maybe for a few seconds, I
did,” she replied quietly, watching him turn her one hand over in
his. “The vibe was off and I… couldn’t feel you like I do now, or
how I felt you on the steps finally.”

Those comments made his
eyes lift back to hers, pain clear. “I didn’t know what else to do,
Jess,” he admitted, feeling her free hand brush weakly against his
face. “My powers weren’t at full and I couldn’t have risked a full
out fight, power-on-power, with him while you were so close but…”
Roarke swallowed the lump as he recalled last night and seeing her
in his enemy’s hands.

“I’d rather be dead than
let him…” Jessica cut off, eyes dropping until a gentle hand cupped
her face to bring her gaze back to his. “I knew what you needed to
do and I trusted you to do it.”

“You had more faith in me
than my brothers,” Roarke snorted, sighing. “Mac spent the night
trying to hurt me, but I think Ryan got me drunk and then knocked
me out.”

“I trusted you
because…I...I love you,” she murmured, seeing his eyes start at
those words and trying to move, but pain seared.

Moving quickly and without
thinking, Roarke eased an arm under her to help lift her slightly
so she was leaning against pillows, but was surprised when her
hands slid around to try to hold onto him.

“Easy.” He wanted this
contact but didn’t want to hurt or scare her, then he felt her lean
into him, burying her face against his neck and felt the first
shudder. “Sshh, go ahead, luv,” he whispered, easing his arms
around Jessica to support her when the shields she’d placed on the
fear started to crack.

Jessica’s arms were shaking
as she clung to Roarke, feeling his hand gently rubbing her back
when the tears began to burn. “Don’t let go?”

Shaking his head slowly,
Roarke turned his face into her hair in an effort to reassure them
both. “No, luv, it’s fine. I’m not letting go,” he promised softly,
slowly starting to rock her in his arms when he heard the sob. “I
love you, Jessica,” he told her, hoping he could take the pain and
fear as she had once for him. “I’ll make it up somehow or let Ryan
beat the crap out of me or…”

Roarke knew he was talking
non-stop but it helped to keep him calm while he held his friend as
she cried, but knew he had to control her emotions so she didn’t
tear the stitches until they could be healed.

“What?” Slowly Jessica’s
tears had calmed along with the fears and she knew deep down that
Roarke had been easing both, but right then something he had said
finally gelled. “Roarke, I don’t blame you. It’s… just
hard…”

“I know,” he replied
grimly, slowly easing her back on the pillows but keeping his hand
on her face while his other slowly hovered where he knew the bullet
had struck. “Jessie, let me take the pain.”

Still wary, the girl bit
her lip. “It would hurt you.” This she knew since she had always
known her friend didn’t open himself like that for that
reason.

“How many times have you
done it for me,
a gra
?” he countered, still watching when her fingers slowly
reached for the nightshirt buttons, but he stopped her. “I’ll do
it.”

Accepting the risks, Roarke
slowly eased the shirt open enough to see the soft colored T-shirt
with a scoop neck that showed the bandage on her chest.

“Roarke, it’s not…” Jessica
had been watching his eyes and saw the smoky gray darken as he
looked lower and thought of whatever else she’d had done to her.
“Don’t, please.”

“I should have done more to
him for what he did to you.” Roarke’s eyes lifted back to hers.
“How can I expect you to be able to let me ever touch you after
what he did?”

Tired and still jumpy,
Jessica considered that and knew her friend would never fully be at
ease. “It wasn’t you.”

“You didn’t know that at
first,” he argued bitterly, dragging his fingers through his hair
in a motion that was of pure frustration. “I know what he did
and…”

Slowly, she took his hand
and placed it on her chest, over her heart. “I trust you more than
anyone except maybe Cam,” Jessica spoke slowly, tired and in pain
but knowing she had to make her friend understand this as she eased
his hand down lower so it was just on the swell of one
breast.

“No, wait…” Roarke frowned,
seeing her eyes were wary but calm, though he hesitated when her
hand moved his and on instinct, it cupped the breast through the
T-shirt. “Jessica, you’re hurt and…”

“I’m not afraid of you,
Roarke, and I don’t want you to be scared of me over what he did,”
she told him quietly, keeping her hand over his. “Sebastian hurt
when he touched here but you won’t.”

Understanding what she was
saying, the Irishman knew that might not always be the case. “I
love you with all my heart but Jess, I can’t promise to always be
as gentle as you need,” he replied, needing that to be clear but as
he was talking, his thumb was gently rubbing over the tip of her
breast.

“Not asking you to be,
mate,” Jessica countered, surprised that she wasn’t scared when he
gently kneaded. “Take away what he did?”

“Some but the mental stuff
he did will take longer,” Roarke declared, not aware when his
native accent got stronger as he was suddenly very aware of how
close he was to her but also saw the need she wasn’t speaking.
“Trust me, luv, and I’ll take the pain,” he promised, leaning
closer to move his hand back over the wound but was caught off
guard when, despite being weak and hurt, the girl moved slightly to
kiss him.

Nearly freezing at this,
Roarke almost pulled back when he caught the emotions, the desire
and need and knew if he did, then Sebastian will have
won.

The kiss was awkward and uneasy as if she
wasn’t sure if he would accept it and was gauging his own feelings
when Roarke gently cupped the back of her neck and returned the
kiss slowly, deeply.

“You know, my brothers
could say I’m taking advantage of your shock,” he mused upon
breaking the kiss, tracing her mouth with his thumb but keeping eye
contact. “Tell me, Jessica. I need you to say it.”

“He wanted me to be scared
of you, Roarke,” Jessica still felt the kiss and could feel his
eyes on her. “I’m not and I…I want you to make love to
me.”

Roarke’s eyes were steady
despite the hammering of his heart as he let his hand continue to
lightly touch and stroke. “The fact you can say that to me means so
much, and if I didn’t know what we’ve both been through in the past
twenty-four hours then I would but…” he paused long enough to hold
her eyes. “When we make love I want to be sure it’s for the right
reasons, you’re fully alright and I know I’m in
control.”

Waiting until Jessica
nodded in understanding, he gently brought her hand up so he could
kiss her hand lightly. “Now, do you trust me to heal
you?”

“Yeah but I don’t want you to hurt…” Jessica
started to say but a soft kiss stopped the words.

“How much did you get hurt by taking what
you did for me in Athens?” he felt her tense slightly and could see
her running that over in her mind until she began muttering.

“Ryan took most of that,”
she muttered. “I mainly just sat and talked to you.”