Champagne Showers (3 page)

He hikes up my skirt around my waist and pulls down my panties. He slips his index and middle finger into my wet “P”. I start to voice my objection, but it feels too good and I haven’t been touched like this in who knows how long. While fingering and rubbing me, he works me over with his tongue, all up and down my neck and down to my cleavage just above the v of my shirt. Too bad, he smells as if his mouth had bathed in a bowl of salsa. I turn my head toward the sofa back so I don’t have to smell his breath. He takes it as my point of desire, so he starts plunging his fingers into me with more ferocity. I gasp despite myself. He abruptly stops and stands up. He undoes his buckle then fumbles with the button and fly of his pants. He lets them drop to a puddle around his ankles. Yeah, real sexy maneuver there. He then moves my legs apart and settles into a kneeling position between them, as he does this, I lift my hips to meet his.

“Oh yeah baby, come to me, let me fill you up, baby”.

I think, oh geeze, just shut up and get on with it.

He then struggles to plunge his semi-hard cock into my wet and waiting “P”. He wraps his finger around the shaft and moves it up and down while the tip slides in and out of me. When his length is finally hard, he slams it into me.  I gasp and suck in my breath from the sheer force.  He starts moving his generous length in and out slowly and methodically at first, then he starts moving spastically in all sorts of directions before he slows to a thrusting rhythm again.

Remembering what he said about my being a dead fish, I move my hips to meet his hips in a circular motion. He groans deep in his chest and then says, “Oh baby, I always loved your tight little taco.”

What? My taco? Oh yuck! Who says that?

Then he stops and his eyes fly wide open, he winces and I feel his abdominal muscles tighten as he is now laying on me and then I hear
ffaaaarrrrttt
!

He laughs and then proceeds to infiltrate my body with his, once again, semi-limp dick.

Oh my lord, he just FARTED! Sick! That’s it I’m out of here! 

I push him off me and he stumbles backward. I swiftly put my feet on the floor and lean down to get my panties.

He takes that as I want another position and he slurs “Alrighttt, you want it from beeehind, baby?”

Oh, gross!  I quickly pull up my panties and yank down my skirt.

Straightening myself up, I look at him and hiss, “This was a HUGE mistake. Now get out of my way, I’m leaving.”

Visibly maddened and probably confused, he stumbles out of my way as his pants are still pooling around his ankles. He hops after me with his erection at half-mast and rapidly declining. I reach into my purse to grab my phone and turn to face him.

He shrugs and says, “What am I missssing here? I thought yooou were into it?”

I frown at him and reply, “Well let’s see, your dick keeps going limp, you are all over the place when it actually is hard, you are blurting out ridiculous things and then to top it off, you fart and then laugh it off.”

He reaches down to pull his pants up and as if on cue, he farts again! He then falls to the ground and starts howling. Not laughing, but howling. In all the years, I’ve known him I’ve never seen him laugh so hard.

Seriously, I guess if I take a step back, it’s comical, I’m just not in a laughing mood. Here we are having ex-sex, drunk on tequila, smelling of tacos and salsa and he has revenge of the refried beans.  It all seems fitting in a twisted sort of way.  

Once he is done snorting and is able to come up for air, he takes a deep breath and slurs, “Dani, you don’t need to weave. I promisth thattt I’ll be on my best behavooorr.” He does the ‘scouts honor’ finger salute. “Youuuu just stay night and then I’ll help youuuu pack up the rest in the mooorning and say our gooooodbyesth.”

I am so tired and still tipsy, I couldn’t drive even if I wanted to right now. I don’t want to stay but at this point, I just want a shower and to crawl into bed, so I yawn and nod in agreement.

I awaken the next morning to
a
dog barking insanely loud next-door with a pounding headache and strong sunlight streaming through the family room windows. I couldn’t bear to sleep in the master bed last night after all, so I cozied up on the sectional. I scurry to finish packing a small suitcase with some cute sundresses, a few bikini’s, flip-flops and sunscreen. I plan to get the rest of my things when I get back. Cannon beach here I come! I hear Bradley snoring in the guest room and am glad he is asleep so I don’t have to face him this morning.

My phone rings.

“Ma, hey! I know I know, I’m sorry I didn’t call you back last night… I fell asleep early after such a long day.” Okay a slight white lie, but I can’t tell her about my ex-sex.

“How did it go yesterday, sweet girl?”

“It’s done, Ma. I sort of feel better, but I really need a little salty air, salt water taffy, and some long walks on that Oregon Coast sand.”

“Where are you now, driving?”

“I’m actually on Highway 217 now; I just passed Hillsboro ...So probably another hour and a half and I’ll be there.” So, another slight white lie, at the rate I’m going, I’ll have flames licking at my heels soon.

“Okay. Your father and I will be at the Gallery Breeze this afternoon, so just let yourself in, baby and your room is all ready of course.”

“Thanks Ma, and please I really don’t want to rehash what happened this week...I just want some relaxation time.”

“Of course darling, I’ll relay the message to your father. We will respect your wishes.”

My mother knows how my father can be overbearing when it comes to his baby girl. Nevertheless, I suppose that’s just a sign of a father who cares and wants to protect his daughter.

The drive to Cannon beach is just gorgeous and peaceful. Huge trees line the highway and small waterfalls stream down the sides of the windy roads, as I get closer to town. The air is so crisp and clean; it makes me love Oregon. Okay, the rain and overcast skies get old from time to time, but this versatile state has so much more to offer. Especially now being summer, the weather is perfect. Not a cloud in the sky and in the upper 70’s.

I pull up to my parent’s home in Cannon beach. It is a large beach cottage of shingled grey, pretty much the standard look for an Oregon
Coast beach home. It stands up on a hill
overlooking the Coastline. If there is anywhere that will take my mind to another place, it is Cannon Beach. The sound of the crashing waves on the rocks is so soothing; it will take all the cares in the world away at my feet.

I unpack the car and grab the hide-a-key to the cottage. My mother is a neat freak, everything in order and in its place. I must get that from her. My parents are lovers of art in all forms. They just opened a new gallery in town called Cannon Breeze Gallery. This is their life, quirky, artsy and so them.

My room is immaculate like always. My mother has left all my favorite things. I walk in to find warm fuzzy cozy socks on my bed, a Japanese quince candle, and a new pair of Nike running shoes. My mom spoils me; she also got me a bottle of Barefoot Bubbly, my favorite! It feels so good to be home. A wave of relief warms my body as I let out a long sigh. What next? I think to myself. It’s a pretty day out and I have the whole place to myself.

I slip on my turquoise string bikini and throw a white cotton slip dress over the top. I notice the dress is a bit too loose, probably from all the weight I have lost during the divorce. I pull my long wavy chestnut brown hair into a high ponytail and look in the mirror.  I gasp at my reflection. My usually bright blue eyes are red rimmed and bloodshot. The bags under my eyes are black and my skin looks dehydrated. Not a good look even if I am just at the beach. I grab my large shades to cover my eyes and a pair of flip-flops from my suitcase. I think it’s time for a nice long walk down the beach to soak in this sun filled day. Wait; let me see if mom has some bubbly in the fridge, I could sure use a cold adult beverage before my stroll, hair of the dog and all! Oh how could I forget! Stormy must be outside in the backyard. I’ll take her for a little walk with me. I grab the leash, Stormy and a small tote to collect shells. No cell phone, technology or ties to anything for the next few hours. Pure heaven! Stormy is my trusted little pal, a sweet tempered border collie who is thrilled to see me as she wags her tail and eagerly bumps me with her snout. I have enough to handle here; I will leave behind the adult beverage for now.

I head out down the hill and across the wood bridge to the beach. I slip off my flip-flops and bury my freshly pedicured toes into the warm sand. Oh, it feels so good to be home! Cheerful rainbow colored kites fill the sky with little kids building sandcastles all around. As I walk down the beach, I pick up beautiful shells and sand dollars along the way. After about a mile, I see this little agate colored shell. I reach down to pick it up. As I stand back up, I stop right in my tracks. 

Dear God, where did he come from?

Standing a few feet from the shore is a magnificent looking man about 6’2”, sandy blonde wet hair in a Body Glove dry suit with a surf board under his left arm. He throws down his board, starts to unzip his dry suit, and lets it hang down from his slim waist as he runs his hands through his wavy hair, highlighting the streaks of gold in it. He starts to shake his head to get out the water from his ears as he turns and locks his crystal blue eyes with mine.

Snap out of it Dani! Oh my, why can’t I move? My whole body is frozen. I finally realize I have been staring at this bronze Neptune of the Sea for several minutes, mesmerized. Really? Okay I must be in a trance. Is that a God of the Sea? Yeah, pretty close!

I’m so embarrassed, I slide my sunglasses back on my face to break the trance. I turn to walk away. No run! No, that would look too odd running on the beach with a white flowing slip dress.

“Good afternoon.”

Wait, is he talking to me? Did he just speak? Me? I look behind me and no one is close to me. All I can seem to do is keep looking over his body and that sandy blonde hair wet from the cold Pacific Ocean water. Those transparent blue eyes that look right into me, a slim aristocratic nose, and lips that are full and well defined but firm and teeth that are straight and gleaming white. You only see those babies in toothpaste commercials.

He looks at me with this questioning gaze.

“What,” I say with a squeak in my voice. Did my voice really just tweak like that?

He grins bigger with this amused twinkle in his eye.

“Isn’t that your dog?”

I turn ever so slightly, following his gaze and realize that Stormy’s leash has slipped out of my grasp while I was in this trance!

Stormy is soaked and heading straight for some beach goers and their picnic basket!

She must have run into the water because she is now covered in sand, soggy and about to trample these poor people!

I turn ten different shades of red in literally two seconds. 

“No! I mean yes! I mean... Stormy, No! Down Stormy!”

I turn around to say thank you to the human version of the statue of David, but too late, he’s already back on his board and paddling himself into the waves.

It’s just as well, I have sworn off men for now and I was coming off as an idiot anyway.

I run after Stormy and she happens to have lain down next to the nice couple who are laughing and smiling. I have to be thankful Stormy is giving them the sweet face and it seems to be working. A piece of anything edible and a little attention, that dog is in heaven.

I apologize profusely and collect Stormy with his leash. We head back to my parents’ cottage.

I’m still in utter embarrassment. Did I really just encounter all of this in literally one minute?

I can’t get the image of chiseled abs and droplets of water glistening off that splendid hard-bodied surfer.

Get over it. That was a nice surprise. Love having a little excitement thrown in my day. Maybe I will run into surfer boy again on the beach this week. No! I chastise myself, no men!

I head back up the hill and see my parents’ Prius sitting in the driveway.

“Mom? Dad?”

“Dani you’re home!” my mother yells with excitement. “How are you sweet girl?  Did you have a nice walk on the beach?”

“I sure did, you have no idea!”

“Oh, that good?” She chuckles.

“Stormy, literally covered in ocean and sand, almost ran into a couple sunbathing and picnicking on the beach... But we made it back alive.”

“Dani, you look great, honey,” Dad says as he throws his arms around my shoulders.

I guess the sea air is agreeing with me already because what I saw in the mirror earlier would have scared even my dad.

“Let’s have some lunch on the patio. Dani, John, I’ll grab the sandwiches and meet you out there.”

“So Dani, how are you holding up, honey?”

“I feel good, Dad. I have lots to think about and get organized next week. You know Dad, seriously, I don’t know what I’m going to do next with my life. I have no place to live, no job, husbandless and a complete mess to clean up at home. I don’t think I can work under the thumb of anyone else, Dad... I just can’t go through with that again.”