Changing Focus (12 page)

Olivia, why did you run?

I can’t deal with that, Micah. It’s just not right. I don’t know
how
to deal with it. All of my dreams, the running, the fighting. I even dreamed of chasing a rabbit. Oh God, Micah, the sound that rabbit made. I can’t do that, I can’t be that. I can’t be a wolf. I’m not good at it.

Moving slowly, Micah rubbed against Olivia’s side.
Sweetheart, stop. Take a deep breath and think about this for just a minute. Before you knew what you were, your subconscious wolf mind took over, but here you are, in wolf form, having a conversation with me. If your human mind weren’t in control, do you honestly think we’d be talking right now?

He bumped her with his head, playfully butting into her. Olivia growled softly then sighed, shaking her head. She looked surprised when she continued to shake, all the way to her tail.

There is much joy in this form, Olivia. There are so many things we can do as wolves that we’d never do as human. If you chase a rabbit, even if you catch and kill it, it’s because the wolf in you has taken control for that brief moment in time. You can control the wolf. You can still be human in this form, but it’s easier sometimes to let the wolf out, to let it run free and not worry about your human form. We call it moonlust and it usually happens to young wolves. The more you shift, the more time you spend going from human to wolf and back again, the more control you’ll have over your animal self.

For now, let’s just concentrate on the joy. Run with me, Liv. Run with me in the moonlight, under the blanket of darkness. Run with me and feel the freedom in this form.
Micah moved slightly away from her, wagging his tail, giving her his best wolf grin. Olivia stared at him for a long moment.

You’ll help me get back to my human form if I get distracted?

Micah stopped wagging his tail, stopped moving altogether.
You have to do it yourself, Liv. You have to learn to control your shift.

But you’ll stay with me?
Her head dropped as her ears shifted back against her skull.

Micah felt physical pain when he looked at the unhappy she-wolf in front of him. He would do anything to show her how beautiful she was to him in both forms. Yet he feared it might not be enough. He wanted to tell her he loved her-that he claimed her as his. Instead he mouthed her muzzle gently.
Yes, I will stay with you.

Then show me this world, Micah. Convince me that I’m not a monster, that we’re not monsters who only want to rip and tear at one another and at smaller animals.
Her head lifted slightly as her tail swept up from the ground. When her ears pitched forward toward him, understanding broke through his animal mind.

Olivia feared the “monster” who lived inside her because that’s how she had always seen her wolf. A monster who killed her parents, the monster who caused the Beta males to attack and hurt Gareth. A monster who craved fresh meat-that also explained why she had refused to eat meat at first.

Run with me, love, feel the joy in this form. Feel the freedom. Follow me.
Micah set off at an easy trot. They circled around the other wolves to a spot high enough to overlook the Gathering. He sat and waited patiently until Olivia joined him.
Look at them, Liv. They’re not monsters. They’re just wolves having fun. In their human forms they’re doctors, lawyers, waitresses, housewives, factory workers, real people. Tonight, though, tonight they’re wolves, they’re free and they’re loving the weather and the night. “And the wolf behowls the moon.”

I do love a man who knows his Shakespeare.

Micah knew she didn’t mean love the way he wanted her to but he let the words warm his soul anyway. They watched the other wolves for a few minutes, then Micah led the way around the clearing, back to one of his favorite paths. Trotting side by side, he and Olivia covered quite a bit of ground. He showed her his preferred spots along the path, where she could get a drink of fresh water from the one still-running stream because deer frequently crossed there and kept the ice from getting too thick.

For several hours they ran as wolves and Micah could feel Olivia relaxing into her form, accepting the enhanced eyesight and sense of smell. Finally she looked at him. Her teeth gleamed white as her jaw dropped open. His heart tumbled again when she gave him a wolf grin. Her voice teased him as she challenged,
Race you back to the lodge.

Micah let out a huff of air. Before he could respond, Liv broke and ran, ears back, legs churning over the uneven ground. The sight of her silky tail streaming out was more than he could resist. Micah stayed hot on her heels. Pine trees flashed by. More than one rabbit took off in terror only to pause when it realized that it wasn’t the object of the chase.

Her laughter rang in his head. Her human smell mixed with her muskier she-wolf scent. Micah didn’t ever want to smell anything else in his life. More, he could feel her down to his marrow.
Mine.
That one word kept repeating in his brain as they ran.

Time to show you something you missed, Liv.
Micah felt her curiosity as she loped behind him. Her chuckle burbled in her head.

I never noticed this before! It makes perfect sense though. A dog door.

Micah snorted.
Wolf door, please, my love.

He felt her mood shift immediately and cursed himself for letting the endearment slip. He knew how he felt but she wasn’t ready yet.

Micah, I’m-

It’s
okay, Liv.
Cutting off her soft words, Micah shifted.

“Do you want me to wait for you?”

At her nod, he leaned against the kitchen counter. “When you are human again, I want you to come to my room, please. And understand that is a big step for us, for you.”

Olivia shuddered in front of him, easily sliding into human form. “Wow! That wasn’t as hard this time, Micah! I did what you said and put the puzzle back together.”

She stared at him then. “Go up. I’ll join you in a bit. I need to think about some things first.”

Micah could smell Olivia on the other side of his door. He waited impatiently, knowing she had to come through it on her own. Suddenly that closed door represented all that he’d shut out of his life for so many years. It was as if he’d been waiting for that perfect woman, his mate, to show up.

For a moment, Micah indulged in the daydream of introducing Olivia to the Pack as his mate. Shaking his head, he realized that would make them see her as Alpha bitch. His cock pressed against his belly like some insistent fist. She was perfect as his mate and he didn’t want to share her with the Pack that way. Just another reason for him to find someone else to take over as Alpha.

Picturing Olivia naked, he silently urged her to come through the door. He’d never made love in this bed. That had always been somehow reserved for the woman who would be his mate. For Olivia if she would just push the door. He thanked all that was holy that Talia was with the other children at Pete and Margie’s. He didn’t want any interruptions tonight.

What he wanted was a petite blonde who could run the woods of his home-their home-with him. One who could give voice to her joy as she surged past him in a race he couldn’t have possibly won. Remembering her beautiful wolf form brought a smile to Micah’s face.
Are you ever going to come in?

He lay facedown seemingly relaxed on the bed, wondering if she would overcome her fear and give in to that sweet tangy desire he could smell. A click of the door opening made his senses leap though his body remained still. Sprawled on his stomach, one arm under the pillow bunched under his head, the other hanging off the edge of the bed, he hoped he presented an unthreatening view. If he rolled over now, his cock would probably grow to meet her at the door.

Suppressing the nearly overwhelming need to take her in his arms, he allowed her to look at him. He imagined he could feel her studying him and warmth swept his body. Tracking her movements by sound, Micah heard her come to the foot of the bed. The click of a shutter caused him to raise his head.

“Don’t. I need this memory of you like this.” Olivia’s voice held tension, but Micah thought he detected sadness as well.
Need this memory of me? Sweetheart, I am going to be so indelibly stamped on your brain that you will never forget me.
Obligingly but with great difficulty, Micah held his position.

He counted the whirrs of the camera as she took picture after picture. He wondered what she looked like-did her head turn? Was her hair caressing the camera? Did she have her tongue stuck out like Talia? With difficulty he obeyed her hissed command to “Hold still, Micah”.

The passion in her voice and his own observations from the past few days told him how much her she loved her work. Micah flinched. His mind had gone right to the thought he didn’t want to acknowledge.
But does she love me?

Micah rolled slightly and looked at her through the curtain of his hair. She snapped another shot of him but he could see her smile behind her camera.

“I want you under me, Liv.”

“Oh.” Olivia let the camera dangle from her hand as she moved closer to the bed and ran her fingers from the bottom of his foot up to his butt. She felt his muscles clench and shrieked as he grabbed her, pulling her over his body and onto the bed.

“I didn’t think your magazine was into nude shots.” Micah kissed her between his words, ending his statement close to her ear then sucking her earlobe into his mouth.

“They aren’t.” Olivia could hear the breathless tone in her voice, amazed that he could arouse her so easily, so quickly. Micah had pushed her robe open and moved his mouth to her collarbone. “Those are for me.”

Micah rumbled a laugh against her body even as he licked a path from her shoulder to her breast. Olivia moaned softly as she reached for the nightstand. She put the camera down then put both hands on Micah’s head. She felt her body warming, felt her nipples tightening just as he cupped her breasts. His hands were so large, so strong. He pushed her breasts together gently then licked across the tops of them.

“I’m glad you followed me up those stairs, Liv. We won’t be interrupted tonight. Talia’s with the other cubs until tomorrow. Our time is now and I plan to make full use of it.”

With that he dropped his head back to her breasts. Micah cupped her, pushing her breasts together and licking and sucking at her nipples until both were hard nubs vying for his attention. Olivia tugged at his hair and Micah chuckled as he continued to suck, bite and pinch her nipples. He slid down her body, his goal obvious.

Olivia spread her legs, bending her knees as Micah opened her pussy. He licked once from the bottom of her slit to the top then pushed her legs open even more as he delved deep with his tongue. Dropping her head back on the bed and tugging at her distended nipples, Olivia gave herself up to Micah’s ministrations. He thrust his tongue deep then tickled her clit with the very tip of his tongue.

His fingers dug into her thighs as he fucked her with his tongue, sliding down to rim her rosebud, then up to lick and suck at her clit. Olivia wanted his cock where his tongue was, she wanted him to fuck her hard and fast, to pound her into the bed, to cover her with his warmth. She wondered if he’d been holding back and that was the last thing she wanted him to do.

It amazed her that someone as handsome as Micah could want her as much as she wanted him. Tangling her fingers into his hair and forcing his head back, Olivia met his eyes. “Take me.”

“Liv…”

“No! Take me.” She wiggled under him, wrapping her legs around his hips. She could feel his erection, he was there, right at her entrance. Olivia kept one hand in his hair but ran the other down his back, her nails scoring a path to his butt.

She saw his eyes narrow, watched his nostrils flare and heard a low growl. For a moment she wasn’t sure who had growled, then it didn’t matter. Micah moved his mouth to hers even as she pulled him into her body. He sheathed himself deeply inside her on the first thrust.

It should have hurt, he was so large but she dripped with desire from seeing him waiting for her on his bed and from running with him. Olivia pulled her mouth away from his, tossing her head back even as she dug both hands into his butt, urging him to move. His cock pressed against her walls as he buried himself in her. She clenched her muscles to hold him there and was rewarded by his nipping at her lips.

Micah growled, this time she knew it was him, and pulled nearly all the way out of her before driving back in, high, hard and fast. Olivia opened her mouth to pant as he started a hard and fast motion into her body. Sensation rode her as heat built up inside her body. She clamped her mouth on his chest to thwart a scream. Her teeth dug into his flesh. Micah stiffened for just an instant then moved faster and harder than before.

Olivia kept her mouth on him even as she gripped his butt, urging him deeper into her body. Her hips slammed up into his, answering his urgency with her own. She tasted blood as her climax erupted, filling her with heat. She cried out, throwing her head back and digging her heels into his legs.

Micah growled again then dropped his head to her neck. She felt his teeth close on her neck, felt him pumping faster, just moving his hips now, the rest of his big body covering her like a blanket.

A stuttering cry of ecstasy escaped her as his teeth broke through her flesh-as she felt him stiffen and explode inside her. He was so deep she could swear he was touching her womb. He pulsed again and again inside her, not moving anywhere else. Finally, he collapsed onto her, then immediately rolled onto his side, releasing his hold on her neck and inhaling sharply.

As stunned as she was, Olivia reached a shaky hand out to touch his chest. Micah was breathing hard, his heart pounding against the wall of his pecs. She could hear her own breathlessness-feel her own heart pounding as well. She’d marked him, more than that, she’d made him bleed. A perfect imprint of her teeth, just above his right nipple, the deeper marks still trickling blood.