Authors: Colette Caddle
‘I’ll be fine.’
Gary patted her bump. ‘And don’t you give your mother any trouble, do you hear me? Why don’t you have a nice relaxing day, sweetheart? Catch up on some sleep.’
She nodded and smiled. ‘I think I might just do that. You two have a great time.’
‘Bye, Mum. We’ll bring you back dinner!’
‘I hope not.’ Rachel shuddered at the thought of gutting a fish.
Gary laughed. ‘Bye, Rache.’
‘Drive carefully,’ she said, following them to the door. ‘And you be careful, Alex, and do what Daddy tells you.’
‘I will, Mum. Bye.’
Rachel waved until they were out of sight and then went to make a cup of tea. Carrying it upstairs she decided to take Gary’s advice. A nice bath would help her relax and then she would go
back to bed for a while. It might be quite nice to have a day to herself. She went into the bathroom, set her tea down and turned on the taps. Now, somewhere she had a lavender-scented candle that
Jill had bought her. Where the hell had she put it?
Rachel returned to bed after a pleasant soak. Propping herself up with plenty of pillows, she read her book, dozing off now and then. It was a very pleasant and indulgent day and every so often
she went down to make a cup of tea or a sandwich. Around four, she thought that she should think about getting up. Anna would be here soon. Rather than make a meal for just the two of them, Rachel
was going to suggest a visit to the bistro in the village. It would save her cooking and conversation wouldn’t seem quite as stilted in the noisy restaurant.
Hauling herself out of bed, she went to the wardrobe to check through her clothes to see if she possessed anything that would make her look less like a mountain. It was as she was rummaging
through her clothes that something struck her. She hadn’t felt the baby move in ages. Usually, Baby was at its most active when she lay down, and it absolutely loved bathtime. But, she
realized, fingers of fear reaching in and curling around her heart, there had been nothing. Sitting down on the side of the bed, she gave her bump a gentle prod. There was no answering kick.
‘Baby? Come on, Baby, wake up. You’re scaring me.’ She prodded herself in a few different places but there was nothing. ‘Oh shit,’ she muttered and went to the
wardrobe, pulling out the first pair of maternity trousers and top that came to hand. She was just coming down the stairs when the doorbell went. ‘Oh, thank God!’ She hurried to open
it, grabbing her coat off the hook in the hall. ‘Come on, we’ve got to go to the hospital,’ she told Anna, who was standing on the step with a bouquet and a bag of sweets in her
arms.
‘Hospital? Are you in labour?’ Anna put down her gifts on the hall table as she watched her sister squeeze her feet into a pair of pumps.
‘No, but the baby hasn’t moved in ages.’
‘What does that mean?’ Anna asked.
‘I don’t know.’ Rachel was reluctant to voice her fears. ‘I think I need to go for a scan. Will you take me? Gary and Alex are in Cavan.’
‘Of course I’ll take you. Now have you got everything? Bag, phone, purse?’
Rachel looked in her bag and nodded. ‘Yes, you start the car while I set the alarm.’
Within minutes, Anna was driving them towards the city. She shot her sister a sidelong glance. ‘I’m sure everything’s going to be fine. The baby’s probably just having a
sleep. They do sleep a lot, don’t they?’ she added. Her knowledge of pregnancy and babies was sketchy to say the least.
‘Yes, that’s probably it,’ Rachel murmured, staring out of the window, her arms protectively around the bump. ‘Please hurry,’ she added.
Anna put her foot down on the accelerator and overtook the car in front. ‘No problem.’ Traffic was light and they were making good time until they hit roadworks as they neared the
city centre. A truck was manoeuvring back and forward and the traffic was blocked both ways.
‘Oh, come on!’ Rachel cried out, banging on the dashboard. ‘Come on!’
Anna took one look at her sister, did a U-turn and sped down a side road. ‘I know a way round,’ she told Rachel. ‘There are speed ramps up here so hold tight.’
Rachel did, and as they bumped down the road, tears coursed down her cheeks. All this jogging up and down and still she hadn’t felt as much as a flutter.
Anna reached out a hand and squeezed her sister’s. ‘It will be okay, Rache.’
Rachel just shook her head, unable to reply. When they got to Holles Street, Anna abandoned her car on a double-yellow line and ran to help Rachel out.
‘My sister needs help,’ she called to the receptionist as they came through the door.
‘Take a seat and I’ll get a nurse,’ the receptionist said, picking up the phone.
‘You go and move the car, I’ll be fine,’ Rachel said shakily.
‘No, I’ll wait.’
‘You’ll get towed, Anna. I’ll be fine.’
‘Right. I’ll be back in a minute.’
Rachel had just finished giving her details to the receptionist when a nurse arrived down. ‘Hello, love. You’re having problems?’
‘I haven’t felt the baby move in ages.’
‘Right.’ The nurse took her arm and steered her towards the lift. ‘When was the last time you felt the baby move?’
‘During the night.’
‘Nothing when you woke up this morning?’
‘I don’t remember anything, but I was rushing around – my husband and son were going on a fishing trip.’
‘That’s nice.’
‘Do you think there’s something wrong?’ Rachel asked, the tears welling up again.
‘Let’s get you upstairs and we’ll do a scan,’ the nurse said, patting her arm.
Rachel was lying on a bed in a cubicle waiting for the doctor when she heard Anna outside asking for her. ‘In here,’ she called, pulling the curtain to one side.
‘Any news?’
‘The doctor is coming in a minute.’
Anna perched nervously on the edge of a stool. ‘Do you want me to stay or will I wait outside?’
‘Please stay. I’ve never been so terrified in my life.’
Anna immediately hopped up on the bed and grabbed her sister in a tight hold. ‘I know you are, Rache, but it will be fine.’
‘What if it isn’t? What if, what if . . .’ Rachel couldn’t bring herself to say it.
‘Your baby is going to be just fine.’
‘Hello, Rachel.’ A dark, solemn-faced young girl pulled open the curtain and stepped into the cubicle. ‘I’m Dr Rourke.’
‘Hello, Doctor,’ Rachel whispered, stretching out on the bed and pulling up her jumper.
Anna moved back to her stool but kept a tight hold of her sister’s hand. She watched as the doctor felt Rachel’s bump and then turned to get some gel.
‘This might be a little cold,’ she said before squeezing it on to Rachel’s tummy.
Rachel said nothing as the doctor spread gel across the bump and turned to the screen, tapping at the keyboard. ‘
Get on with it!
’ Rachel wanted to scream. It seemed like
forever before the doctor took the probe and held it to Rachel’s tummy. She moved it around a little and then stopped. Rachel craned her neck to see the screen but it was turned slightly away
from her.
‘Can I see? Is my baby okay?’ she said, hoarsely.
Anna shot her a worried look and then looked back at the screen. She couldn’t make out any baby.
‘Please try and hold still, Rachel,’ the doctor was saying. Then she turned the monitor so Rachel could see it.
‘I don’t know what I’m looking at,’ Rachel wept.
‘It’s harder as the baby gets bigger. This is his back and that’s his thigh.’ She repositioned the probe. ‘And there’s his head.’
As Rachel looked, the baby lifted his hand and stuck his thumb in his mouth. ‘Oh! Look! Look what it did! It’s okay. Isn’t it okay?’ She looked from the monitor to the
doctor.
‘Your baby looks fine,’ the doctor agreed. ‘Now I’ll just take some measurements to make sure everything is as it should be, and then we’ll have a listen to the
heartbeat.’
When the measurements were taken, the young woman produced a Doppler and placed it on Rachel’s tummy. Within seconds, they could hear a strong, steady beat and Rachel started to laugh,
tears running down her cheeks.
‘Sounds healthy enough to me.’ Dr Rourke smiled.
Rachel beamed at her sister, noticing that Anna too was crying.
‘It sounds wonderful,’ Anna said, smiling through her tears.
Rachel squeezed her hand before turning back to the doctor. ‘But I don’t understand. Why didn’t I feel any movements?’
The young woman shrugged. ‘Perhaps you were busy and just didn’t notice. Also, sometimes when the baby changes position, the movements aren’t as strong. And sometimes,
they’re just asleep.’
‘I was busy this morning,’ Rachel admitted. ‘And I’ve been dozing most of the day.’
The doctor cleaned the gel off Rachel’s stomach and pulled off her gloves. ‘Well, everything seems to be just fine, Rachel.’
‘I’m sorry for wasting your time.’
Dr Rourke shook her head. ‘Don’t say that, you did exactly the right thing. If ever you’re worried, just phone or drop in, that’s what we’re here for.’
‘Thank you, Doctor,’ Anna said, helping her sister to sit up. ‘Can I take her home now?’
‘You certainly can. I’d say you’re in for an active evening, Rachel, if he’s had that much sleep.’
‘I’ll never complain about sore ribs again,’ Rachel said with feeling. ‘I don’t care how many kicks—wait a minute.’
‘What’s wrong?’ Anna looked at her worriedly.
Rachel looked from Anna to the doctor. ‘You said “he”.’
Dr Rourke bit her lip. ‘Did I?’
‘Is it definitely a boy?’
‘Are you sure you want to know?’ the girl hedged.
Rachel nodded fervently.
‘Yes, you’re having a boy, Rachel.’
‘Oh!’ Rachel grinned broadly at her sister. ‘Another little boy!’
Anna smiled back. ‘Alex will be pleased. Come on, missus, let’s go home.’
Rachel made a face. ‘No, let’s go and eat, I’m starving!’
‘Another little boy,’ she marvelled later as they sat over dinner. ‘I’m so glad. A girl would have been fine too, mind you, but a little brother will be
nicer for Alex.’
‘You know, you’re completely different on this pregnancy than you were the last time,’ Anna said, emboldened by their sudden closeness.
‘What do you mean?’
‘Well, the first time you were reading all the books, doing up the nursery, spending a small fortune on baby clothes and you never talked about anything else. You were quite boring, to be
honest.’
‘I was, wasn’t I?’ Rachel laughed. ‘I suppose you’re always more excited about your first, and of course—’ she stopped suddenly.
‘Go on,’ Anna urged.
Rachel looked across at her sister. ‘I didn’t really want this baby.’
Anna gaped at her. ‘I didn’t realize. Oh Rachel, I’m so sorry. But why not?’
‘I just knew that I’d be back to square one – tied to the house with no life of my own. I’d be little more than a milk machine. I suppose you must think I’m a
selfish bitch.’
Anna shook her head. ‘Not at all. It must be hard having something so tiny, dependent on you all of the time.’
‘It’s wonderful, it’s terrible, it’s very hard and very fulfilling, it makes you want to scream and it makes you want to weep with joy.’
‘That was very poetic,’ Anna teased. ‘You don’t still feel that way though, do you?’ Anna would never forget the joy on Rachel’s face when she’d seen
her baby move on the monitor today.
Her sister put a loving hand on her bump. ‘Oh no. Now I feel lucky – very, very, lucky.’
Anna reached out a hand and touched Rachel’s bump. ‘And I’m very, very jealous.’
Rachel’s mouth fell open. ‘What? You want to get pregnant?’
‘There’s no need to sound so amazed.’
‘Sorry, I just thought you were a dedicated career woman.’
Anna shrugged. ‘I love my job and I’d like to continue it, but if I had children I’d be quite happy to work part-time.’
Rachel sighed. ‘Oh, yes, that would be the best of both worlds. You know, there are times when I’d kill to dress up in a nice business suit?’
Anna laughed. ‘And there are mornings when I wish I could stay at home and slob around in an old tracksuit.’
Rachel bristled. ‘I don’t slob around.’
‘And I didn’t say you did.’ Anna said affectionately. ‘Now don’t you dare get touchy on me. This is the closest we’ve been in years.’
‘It is, isn’t it?’ Rachel murmured. ‘What happened to us, Anna?’
‘I suppose we went in completely different directions and didn’t have anything in common any more.’
‘No, it was really my fault. I was jealous of you,’ Rachel admitted.
Anna paused, her glass halfway to her mouth. ‘Jealous of me? Why?’
‘I was at home playing ring-a-ring-a-roses and making fairy cakes with only a child to talk to, and you were swanning about town in sexy suits, with a successful job and making potloads of
money. You know, I really would love to earn my own money,’ she added.
‘I had no idea you felt like this. I thought you were dying to give up work.’
‘I was dying to get out of that job,’ Rachel agreed. ‘But it was a mistake to give up work completely.’
‘You could still go back to work and put the baby in a crèche or with a childminder.’
‘I may have to,’ Rachel said gloomily.
‘What do you mean?’
Rachel pushed her plate away. ‘I think Gary is having an affair and if he is then it’s over and he’ll have to go, but I’m terrified of being on my own and it’s not
fair to the kids and—’
‘Hey, hey, slow down.’ Anna reached across and took her hand. ‘Take a few deep breaths, have a drink and then tell me.’
Rachel did as she was told, beginning with the night of Alex’s operation.
‘I can’t believe it,’ Anna said when she finally stopped talking. ‘What are the chances?’
‘What do you mean?’ Rachel frowned.
‘I think Liam’s been at it too,’ Anna admitted, her eyes filling up.
‘No!’
Anna nodded. ‘With Tara Brady.’
‘Tara Brady?’ Rachel goggled at her. ‘No way! Are you sure?’
‘No,’ Anna admitted. ‘But I know they’ve been seeing a lot of each other since Liam lost his job.’
‘And does he know that you know?’ Rachel asked, her own problems forgotten for the moment.