Changing Tides (8 page)

“The clothes and food you asked for.”

Orion smiled and nodded.

“He’s the one who dropped off Jackson?”

Orion nodded again. Thompson hadn’t been there when Mark Jackson had confirmed that Brett had been the one to bring him to the safe house the night he’d been beaten up by security forces. Orion knew the two men were cousins and the entire family was close.

Thompson smiled, nodded and turned around.

Orion closed and locked the door. Their arrival had been earlier than planned and provisions hadn’t been stored yet. They would be responsible for their own meals, but he still couldn’t wrap his head around the deference everyone paid to him.

From a distance, he’d never thought about it. While working for the general, he’d met CFA members in different locations every time, only staying long enough for decisions to be made before leaving again. Now, confronted every minute by the course of action his life was taking, he wondered if he could measure up to people’s expectations. Was he smart enough? Good enough? Strong enough?

After carrying the box to the kitchenette, he brought the clothes and boots into the bedroom. He’d been stashing clothes and other items in various places for years. Some had already been brought into the underground base, while others would have to be retrieved. Conversely, Brett had left home in his running clothes, with little more than his wallet.

Listening to the water run in the bathroom, Orion heaved a sigh and returned to the kitchenette and started to put the food away. The mundane activity wasn’t enough to distract him from his responsibilities or what Brett’s body looked like. Would it be as strong, as perfect as the rest of him appeared to be? How was he supposed to sleep at night? There was one bed and a small couch. He hadn’t truly thought it out before bringing Brett back to his quarters.

They hadn’t done anything more than kiss. Brett had hinted at wanting more, but Orion wasn’t sure he was ready for that. He wanted the other man. There was no way he could honestly deny that. He’d dreamt of him, had jacked off to fantasies of him. But that still didn’t mean he was ready for sex. Orion ran a hand through his hair and shook it out of the ponytail. It was less that he didn’t want to have sex with Brett and more that he didn’t want ruin what they had.

Orion blew out a breath. What would those people who looked to him for answers think if they knew that at the end of the day he wanted nothing more than to be held and taken care of?

Putting the last of the groceries away, he took a swig of his water then sat down on the couch. There was no way either of them could sleep on the couch and actually feel rested. That meant in bed. Together. Orion ran a hand through his hair. Sharing a bed didn’t mean sex. Especially if they went to bed at different times or were exhausted. Exhausted was his first choice.

The water in the bathroom stopped. Orion pulled himself to his feet and pulled out a can of soup and the loaf of bread from the small pantry. He was pleased that their group was mostly self-sufficient. They’d made connections and developed relationships at every level, had taken the time to get to know the people who lived in the shadows. There were few luxuries, and there hadn’t always been enough to go around, but from the beginning everyone was committed to success. His parents had believed so much in the cause, they’d wagered his life on it.

Food, shelter and relative safety had been their most pressing issues to solve before they began to stockpile weapons, equipment and knowledge. Gathering information wasn’t enough anymore. He could appreciate and understand the community that had been built, but they needed to act. The longer they waited, the harder it would be to get people to back them, to do anything about what was happening in Aelland. Taking no action in the face of the revelations they’d brought to light would undermine their credibility.

Listening for Brett, Orion fixed the simple meal for them and set out two places. Orion bit back a chuckle at the absurdly domestic activity when they were in what had become an underground base, on the verge of a revolution and both of them most likely with death warrants sworn out against them.

“Orion?” Brett asked, walking out of the bedroom wrapped only in a towel.

“Clothes—” Orion began, swallowing the lump that formed in his throat. Brett was gorgeous. Broad shoulders, a narrow waist, corded muscles and chiseled abs had been hidden under the starched military uniform.

“Yes?”

Orion cleared his throat. “Clothes. On the bed. Yours.”

“Thank you, but I think this is better,” Brett said, crossing over to him. “You’re beautiful when you’re flustered.”

Orion shook his head and took a step back. Lust burned in Brett’s deep blue eyes. All traces of fear or exhaustion had disappeared from their depths. Orion swallowed and took another step back. He’d been stalked and hunted before, but never had he felt more like prey staring up at a predator who wanted to devour him. Never before had he wanted to be caught, to be held down by the stronger limbs, to be fucked until he could barely remember his own name. He refused to look anywhere but Brett’s eyes. If he saw what the towel hid, saw physical proof of Brett’s desire, he might act. He couldn’t do that, no matter how much he wanted Brett or how much the other man wanted him.

Orion inhaled sharply as the edge of the counter dug into his back. He hadn’t realized he’d been moving or that Brett had continued to stalk him. Brett captured his mouth in a soul-stealing kiss. Brett gently, but insistently asked for Orion to open his mouth, allowing him access. Orion relented. He liked Brett’s kisses. Liked the way the older man controlled them and the way he tasted and smelled. Orion could happily kiss Brett all day.

When Brett’s hand cupped his erection, Orion’s eyes flew open. Squirming, heedless of the pain radiating from his back, he ducked out of Brett’s embrace and ran into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. Sliding to the floor, he stared at the door. It was locked, but it wouldn’t hold against Brett if the bigger man wanted to break it down.

A soft knock on the door startled him.

“Orion? Sweetheart?” Brett called out. He knocked again but didn’t try the door handle. “Come out so we can talk.”

Squeezing his eyes shut, Orion shook his head.

* * * *

Brett blew out a breath and ran a hand through his hair before turning and sitting on the bed. It would be an eternity before he got the image of the fear filling Orion’s eyes out of his head. His gut clenched with self-loathing. Anger spiked through him. He was ready to strike out at whoever had put that look in Orion’s eyes. Taking several deep breaths and letting them out slowly, he stood. Orion wasn’t his. He didn’t know what had happened, and it wasn’t his problem.

“The hell it isn’t!” Ripping the towel from his waist, he flung it across the room, wishing he had something to hit. Hard and repeatedly. The ferocity of his possessiveness scared him. Was that what had spooked the younger man? Brett shook his head. He didn’t think so.

Dressing quickly in the tan, camouflaged fatigues and black combat boots, he knocked softly on the door one more time before heading to where Orion had left their meal. Sitting, he realized he was famished.

While he ate, his mind drifted back to Orion. Orion had looked at him with fear, but his quiet words earlier had put everyone in the room on edge. Men and women, some twice his age, had left the final decision of things up to him. Brett knew Orion was younger than him. He was twenty-three tops. It didn’t make sense for someone that young to be in charge of anything, especially not what seemed to be the one group capable of dismantling the current government.

Brett bit the inside of his cheek. With one decision, he had turned his back on his country and his family. He knew no one in the room he’d been in trusted him, so why did they trust Orion. What did they know that he didn’t?

He had finished his meal and was staring at the wall across from him, when he heard the bathroom door click open. He moved to warm up Orion’s food before returning to the table. “Your food should be warm in a minute or so.”

“That’s it? You’re not—”

“Angry? Disappointed? Still aching for you?” Brett asked, standing and turning toward Orion.

Orion nodded.

“Are you afraid of me?”

Orion bit his lip and shrugged.

“Words, sweetheart. Use words. Please,” Brett said, stepping closer. They were close enough to touch, but he wanted,
needed
, Orion to make the first move.

“No.”

Brett retrieved a bottle of water and twisted the cap off. “Is it me or something I said or did?” He waited, watching as emotions swirled in the brown depths of Orion’s eyes as he thought.

“Did,” he answered finally, his voice cracking. “It just took me back.”

“Sore throat? Drink some water,” Brett suggested, handing the bottle to him. Cursing himself that he hadn’t thought about how hard talking would be on Orion before. “I won’t lie and say I don’t want you. I do. You know I do. But I won’t push or pry.”

Orion nodded, taking a long drink from the bottle of water.

Anger raged through Brett, wanting a target, but another part of him wanted to know that the man beside him was safe and that his nightmares were gone. Brett pushed a hand through his hair. “Should we see if other sleeping arrangements can be made for me?” Brett asked. He didn’t like it and didn’t want to be separated from Orion at all. The smaller man still pulled out Brett’s protective instincts.

Orion shook his head. “I…I asked… It-it’s fine.”

Brett nodded his understanding. Orion had asked that Brett stay with him. He couldn’t ask for Brett to be reassigned without being seen as indecisive or revealing his secret.

Brett retrieved Orion’s food, setting in front of him before sitting back down. “Eat. I won’t hurt you.”

Watching Orion eat soothed some of Brett’s nerves. Exhaustion was edging its way in. He hadn’t slept well last night. Anxiety and a healthy dose of fear had kept him restless, waking him at every sound. The shower and food had relaxed him. Knowing Orion was near and safe had pushed him several steps further. Needing to move, he picked up his dirty dishes then washed and dried them in the small kitchenette before putting them away. The silence in the room was companionable as it always was when he was around Orion, as it had been with Taren.

Not wanting to hover and scare the other man, Brett sat on the couch. On base, he worked, ran, exercised, read and hung out with friends. Here, there were no books, nothing to watch or do. He didn’t even know what he could do to help Orion and his group.

Guilt tunneled through him. He shouldn’t be helping a group trying to start a revolution. He should be trying to get to his family, friends and base. He should be trying to escape and to help his country. He’d taken an oath to defend his homeland, had been raised with the knowledge that all government officials, especially the ruling commander, worked for the benefit of the people. Orion and his people accused the government of lying and being greedy. Brett didn’t want to think of his family in those terms, but he couldn’t deny that both his brother and sister had lied in order to get what they wanted or needed. Blowing out a breath, Brett shoved the argument from his mind. He’d made his decision, there was no going back. Exhaustion rolled over him.

Closing his eyes, he promised himself he would rest only until Orion was done eating. They needed to talk. If they had any chance at a relationship, he needed to know what would trigger bad memories Orion had so he could avoid them.

Relationship.

The word materialized in front of him, hanging in the air. Relationship. Is that what he wanted from Orion? Did he only want sex? To be a protector? If Orion was the leader of this group, where did that leave Brett? He pushed the thoughts from his mind and laid down, trying to find a comfortable position on the couch.

* * * *

Shaking and urgent words pulled Brett from sleep. Blinking his eyes open, he looked up and smiled at Orion. “What…what time is it? What’s going on?”

Orion shook his head, grabbed Brett’s wrist and tugged. Brett yawned and stood. “Orion? Sweetheart? What’s going on?”

“You. Sleep.”

“I think I was.” Brett smiled then frowned. Orion’s language skills and voice seemed to be getting worse. He stopped and forced the younger man to turn and look at him. “Are you all right? No words.”

Orion nodded and pointed to his throat.

“No talking unless absolutely necessary. Not until you’ve had a chance to get used to it.”

Orion smiled and nodded again. He tugged on Brett’s hand and led him into the bedroom then pushed him onto the bed.

Brett sat on the edge of the mattress and took off his boots before sliding back and lying down. Orion stood next to him, motioning at Brett’s clothes with his hand. Brett shook his head, clasped his hands behind his head and closed his eyes. Yes, he would be more comfortable nude, but not if it brought back bad memories for Orion.

The bed dipped and righted itself. He was aware of Orion’s presence. Brett wanted nothing more than to grab the Orion and crush the man to him, making it impossible for him to leave. Instead, Brett waited. He wanted to see what Orion would do. Eyes closed, he bit the inside of his cheek.

His shirt was pushed up. The buttons on his pants undone. Brett’s eyes snapped open. He pushed himself onto one elbow and put a restraining hand on Orion.

“You don’t want?” Orion asked.

“Sweetheart, yes. But, so soon after you…” Brett paused searching for the right words.

“Freaked out?” Orion supplied.

“Yes. Can you come here?” Brett asked, sitting up against the headboard and opening his arms. Orion scooted forward, and Brett wrapped his arms around him. “Don’t feel like you need to, that you have to do anything or make anything up. I can simply hold you if you want until you’re comfortable with it. That’s fine.”

Orion shifted in his arms. Brett loosened his grip until Orion pressed back against him then retightened his embrace, enjoying just holding the other man.

“I don’t know what happened,” Orion said slowly, the words little more than a whisper.