Channel Blue (38 page)

‘A whole hour?’ He smiled at her. ‘That’s a lot of time. Especially considering we only need, what was it?
Several seconds
?’

Amanda laughed and punched him. ‘I guess I should’ve said,
the most memorable several seconds of my life
.’ They kissed again.

‘I hate competing with myself,’ Perry said, ‘but I think we might be able to better that time.’

‘Oh yeah?’

‘Yeah. I for one am ready to break a minute.’ He backed her up against the stage, unzipped her white jacket and pressed himself against her. ‘Let’s show up at that press conference sweaty and sticky. Let’s really give the galaxy something to talk about.’

Amanda laughed. ‘Sounds good,’ she said and slid her hands down Perry’s pants, catching him completely off guard. He jumped into the air and pulled Amanda with him, causing her to fall backwards. At the last moment, she reached out and steadied herself, placing her hand on the Stool of Truth.

‘Product of fornication,’ the soothing voice pronounced.

CHANNEL 34

THE POF

Amanda’s apartment on the moon was empty except for a couch and a bottle of vintage Cassiopeian champagne that was, according to the tag around its neck, a gift from GOD. It sat in a silver bucket of ice, untouched. Perry sat on the couch and watched with concern as Amanda paced back and forth, pulling on a lock of her hair and muttering to herself. Mostly the muttering was indecipherable to Perry, though now and then it reached an audible volume.

She suddenly stopped in her tracks. ‘The Bs in chemistry. No one ever understood those. I had superior deductive powers in my profile, why was I getting Bs? Because I
never had
superior deductive powers.’

‘Or maybe it was because the only kids who get As in chemistry are geeks,’ Perry said, taking a desperate stab at levity.

‘And my hair!’ she said, ignoring Perry in favour of the lock in her hands. ‘It’s supposed to be blonde, but it gets dark sometimes. Sometimes, it’s almost
brown
.’

Perry had never seen Amanda like this. She was officially scaring him. ‘You must have come across one of these truth stools before.’

‘It’s not called a truth stool.’

‘Stool of Truth, whatever.’

‘I have, but I never needed to be screened. My genetic profile has been in the medibase since my conception.’

‘Someone must have faked it.’

‘That’s impossible,’ Amanda said. ‘No one would try it. And if they did, they’d be caught.’

Perry arched his eyebrows. ‘Always?’

‘
Always
. Edenite law enforcement isn’t the circus you have on Earth. There’s almost no crime, and the crime that does happen is punished immediately. That’s why nobody ever doubted my profile.’ She paused. ‘Unless they’ve known all along that it was false. And that’s why they gave me the job on Channel Blue.’ She started pacing again, faster than before. ‘That makes sense – there must’ve been hundreds of applicants more qualified than I was.’ Her eyes widened. ‘
That’s
why they encouraged me to mingle with the POFs! They wanted me among you because they knew all along I was one of you – that I would do all the awful ignorant things that you like to do—’

‘Hey!’ Perry said.

‘I’m sorry, but it’s true. We’re disgusting.’ Amanda clawed at the flesh of her arms. ‘Just the thought of the crappy genes inside every one of my cells makes me want to vomit.’

‘Jesus, Amanda, you need to take a breath—’

‘I can’t help it! I’ve spent my entire life thinking I was the pinnacle of human genetics when I’m nothing more than... someone’s random screw baby!’

Perry regarded her incredulously. ‘Is that how you think of our kid?’

‘No!’ Amanda placed a protective hand on her stomach. ‘But then I always thought that at least half his genes wouldn’t be a total crapshoot.’ She stopped herself. ‘I’m sorry, that must have sounded insulting.’

‘It did,’ Perry assured her.

‘Someone had it all planned out from the very beginning. Why didn’t I see it coming?’

‘Amanda, listen to me—’ Perry said. But she paced even faster, tugging at her hair.

‘
Of course
I couldn’t see it coming! I’m a lousy POF, I couldn’t see a comet coming if it landed on top of me—’

WHAP! Amanda came to a sudden halt, her hand held up to one reddening cheek. Perry stood in front of her, the palm of his hand stinging from the rapid contact it had just made with Amanda’s face. ‘I’m sorry, but I had to do that. You’re making yourself crazy. You need to take a deep breath—’ Before he could finish, she slammed her fist into his chest, knocking him straight back onto the floor. While he wheezed, struggling for air, she took a deep breath and exhaled.

‘You’re right,’ she said. ‘That helps.’

Perry slowly pulled himself back onto the couch. ‘Glad to hear it,’ he gasped.

‘There’s just no way for you to understand what I’m going through right now. You don’t know what it’s like to think that your life is your own and then suddenly find out that you’re a total tool, some toy for the amusement of a bunch of greedy control freaks—’ She paused. ‘OK, maybe you do.’

‘And you
don’t
,’ Perry said. ‘You know why? You’re not a tool. Or a toy.’ He rubbed his chest. ‘Definitely not a toy.’

‘I’m not?’

‘No. That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you.’

‘How do you know?’

‘Because right now, if Galaxy Entertainment knew that you were a product of fornication, they’d be telling
everyone
. They’d put you on that stool tonight and congratulate themselves on finding two POFs for the price of one. But they clearly don’t know. So there has to be some other explanation.’ Perry thought for a moment. ‘Why don’t you ask your parents?’

Amanda had been so overwrought that she hadn’t considered this. She stepped over to a panel of buttons on the wall next to the couch and pressed one of them. A keypad popped up from the couch’s armrest. She hesitated. ‘If you don’t want to be on the call, stand over there,’ she said, gesturing to the wall at the other end of the room. Perry walked over to this wall and Amanda tapped what seemed like a ridiculous number of digits into the keypad.

An excited middle-aged woman with short blonde hair appeared on the wall opposite her.

‘Adam’s ghost! Amanda! Our big star! Your father will want to hear every word of this – we just watched you on the Marty Firth show! Can you believe that? I was going to call but he said, “She’ll be busy, she’s a big star now, she has an entire channel depending on her, she doesn’t have time to talk to us.” What an amazing show! Did you meet Baby Jade? What was she like? Did you ever dream that your job would lead to something so
exciting
?’

‘No—’ Amanda began, but was quickly overwhelmed by her mother’s exuberance.

‘That scene in the helicopter with your co-star! So dramatic! Your father and I were on the edges of our seats! How did they make it seem so real?’

‘We were in a crashing helicopter,’ Amanda said. ‘We actually did think we were going to die.’

‘Well, it sure looked real to me! So suspenseful! Oh, I have to stop talking, but I’m just so excited! Michael!’ she called off. ‘It’s Amanda! Our famous daughter!’

A distinguished middle-aged man with a full head of salt-and-pepper hair and chiselled features appeared next to Amanda’s mother. ‘How’s my little rocket?’ he said, beaming. ‘We are so
proud
of you! What an adventure you’ve been on. I have to ask you right away: did you really have sexual intercourse with that Earthle?’

Amanda glanced over at Perry, who couldn’t lean any closer to the wall. ‘Yes,’ she said.

‘I told them!’ Amanda’s father chortled. ‘The guys at the club have all been asking me, “Did she really do it? Did she really have sexual intercourse?” And I keep telling them, “Of course she did. She’s pregnant. The proof is in the pudding, right?” They still don’t believe me. I tell them, “That’s my daughter – we made a maverick.” It’s all right there in your genotype. I remember the programmer asking me, “Are you sure you want her to be this much of a risk-taker?” and I said, “Heck yes! Give her the genes that will make her throw herself out into the universe, discover new worlds, make history!” And you know what, rocket? That’s exactly what you’re doing.’

‘I actually have a question about that,’ Amanda said quickly, before her parents could interrupt her again. ‘I just found out that I’m a product of fornication.’

Amanda’s parents became completely still. For a moment, Perry thought there was a technical problem and that the image on the wall had frozen, but then Amanda’s father slowly lowered his head. ‘How did you find out?’ he said.

‘They brought a Stool of Truth in for the press conference,’ Amanda said. ‘I was accidentally screened.’

Her father appeared completely mortified. ‘Does anybody else know?’

She shook her head. ‘Only Perry. That we know of.’

Her mother cried softly. ‘It’s true,’ she said. ‘You came out of my vagina.’ She took a deep breath. ‘It feels so good to say it, after all these years.’ She turned her face up and yelled it out. ‘My daughter came out of my vagina!’

‘I understand that, Mom,’ Amanda said, attempting to remain matter-of-fact, ‘but why didn’t you tell me?’

‘You’ve been doing so well,’ her father said. ‘I mean, you might as well be perfect genetically, as far as the galaxy’s concerned.’

Her mother began sobbing. ‘Please forgive us. We didn’t have a choice. We didn’t want to lie but we knew that it would be your only chance at having a decent life.’

‘Mom, please stop crying,’ Amanda said. ‘I understand. I just didn’t know such a thing was possible. How did you do it?’

Amanda’s parents exchanged a glance. The father cleared his throat. ‘When your mother started showing, we took some time off at a resort planet in the Vega cluster, out there on the edge of the galaxy. Obviously, we were looking for a world where we wouldn’t know anyone. At our hotel, we met a very well-to-do man who was travelling alone. We had dinner with him a couple of nights, and he seemed like someone we could trust. We told him about our situation and, to our surprise, he told us he could help us. He said he knew how to insert a genetic profile for you into the medibase. And it worked. As long as you and everyone else believed you were a Grade 4 genotype, you acted like one.’

‘Until the Bs in chemistry, of course,’ her mother added.

‘Right,’ her father said. ‘Those were a little worrisome—’

‘Who was this man?’ Amanda interrupted. ‘Why did he offer to help?’

Her father shrugged. ‘He never said. He didn’t want any money or anything else.’

Amanda shook her head. ‘It doesn’t make any sense. No Edenite would break the law no matter how many people it helped.’

‘Oh, I don’t think he was an Edenite,’ her mother said.

‘What was he then?’

‘We didn’t ask any questions,’ her father said. ‘The less we knew the better.’

A loud high-pitched whine made Perry suddenly jump from the protection of his wall into the middle of the room. ‘What was that?’ he said.

‘The doorbell,’ Amanda said.

‘It’s your co-star Perry Bunt!’ her mother said. Amanda’s parents turned to take in Perry, who briefly considered returning to his refuge against the wall before realising that it would only make things more awkward. ‘Perry, I think you’re the most hilarious Earthle ever. Michael and I don’t really care for the others – we’ve never been big fans of Earth. But we like you.’

‘Thank you,’ Perry said uncertainly.

‘You are too much,’ Amanda’s father said, chuckling. ‘Are you going to have sexual intercourse with my daughter again?’

‘I-I-I don’t know,’ Perry stammered.

‘I bet you want to, right?’

The loud high-pitched whine sounded again. ‘Mom, Dad, I have to call you back,’ Amanda said. ‘There’s someone at the door.’

‘OK,’ the mother said. ‘We love you so much. And I know how much you enjoy your work, but do you think that when you’re done with all this Earth business you could come home for a visit? A couple of days at least?’

Amanda agreed to this, pushed a button on the panel, and her parents vanished.

‘Thank God,’ Perry said. ‘Are they always like that?’

‘They’ve always been very supportive,’ Amanda said. She pushed another button and a small, bespectacled red-headed boy appeared on the wall. He was standing right outside Amanda’s front door.

‘Who is it?’ Amanda asked.

‘Hi, I’m really sorry to bother you, but I’m your biggest fan,’ the boy said. ‘Could I have an eye scan for my collection? Please?’

Amanda pressed a smaller button on the panel and the image disappeared. ‘He must have come here for the show and slipped through security afterwards.’

‘Why does he want an eye scan?’

‘It’s like an autograph. I’ll get rid of him quickly.’ She walked to the front door and opened it. The red-headed boy scampered past her into the apartment before she could stop him.

‘Hey!’ Amanda called after him.

‘Shut the door quickly,’ the boy said, pulling off his glasses and a red wig. ‘We don’t have much time.’

Perry saw, to his dismay, that Nick Pythagorus now stood before him. ‘You again.’

‘Yes, me again.’

Amanda strode towards the wall panel. ‘I’m calling security.’

Nick blocked her path as best he could. ‘Hold on, Mandy. I’ve got something you’re both going to want to see.’ He pulled a small screen from the back pocket of his jeans and offered it to her.

Amanda turned to Perry. ‘We can’t trust him. He’s with The Movement.’

Perry laughed. ‘I’m sorry. That name kills me every time.’

‘What wrong with The Movement?’ Nick asked.

Perry laughed again. Amanda rolled her eyes and said, ‘I’ll be more specific. We can’t trust him because he’s working with Leslie Satan. They want to destroy the entire entertainment-industrial complex.’

‘Guilty as charged,’ Nick said. ‘And you will too, after you read this.’ He once more held out the small screen. This time, Perry took it and read what appeared to be a piece of business correspondence.

Confidential Memo