Chapter1 (11 page)

Brave but reckless.
 
Stubborn, yet yielding when he least expected it.
 
Beautiful, but no self-esteem.
 
If she were any other woman, he’d doubt her sincerity, but he didn’t think Kat had a clue how to play those types of games.
 
Had she lived in her sister’s shadow for so many years that she had no idea of her own self-worth?

The sooner he resolved this gem theft, the better.
 
This woman was under his skin like chiggers making him itch, and a relationship between them wouldn’t work.
 
They might as well jump in a car and drive eighty miles an hour down a dead end road.
 
Loon
Lake
was her home and his nightmare.
 

The chemistry between them set sparks flying if they came within two feet of each other.
 
It was only a matter of time before there was spontaneous combustion.
 
His mouth went dry at the thought of making love to her.
  

He walked to the front door, fingering the heavy oak, curious why no one had ever installed an inside lock.
 
Constructing a barricade should be a top priority.
 
The thought of coming downstairs in the morning and finding someone else sitting at the table gave him the creeps.
    

He reached down and patted Red on the head.
 
“Let us know if someone’s out there, boy.”
 
The dog lifted his head and groaned, then thumped his tail.
 

Jude took the stairs two at a time, thinking Kat should be in bed by now.
 
The bathroom door was still closed, so he dropped on one of the twin beds.
 
He didn’t have long to wait.
 
His heart skipped several beats when she emerged from the bathroom.
 
The contrast of her dusky skin against the thin white cotton nightgown mesmerized him.
 
She moved through the moonlit shadows, reminding him of Natalie Wood in her classic movie role.
 
He wouldn’t have been surprised if Kat broke into song.
 
In an attempt to get his body under control, he flipped over, putting his back to the bed she climbed into.
 

“Goodnight, G.I. Jane,” he whispered.

“Humphh.”
 

Jude smiled into his pillow.
 
Good girl.
 
Stay mad.
 
It’s safer that way
.
 
Thirty minutes later, sleep still eluded him.
 
His eyes wouldn’t stay closed, so he listened to frogs, owls, loons, and God only knew what other animal noises.
 

Kat’s voice startled him.
 
“What’s this problem you have with women, Callahan?”
 
He ignored her softly asked question, pretending to sleep.

She called his bluff.
 
“I know you’re awake.”
 

Damn
.
 

“Why do you dislike women?”

He turned over and faced her.
 
The beds were too close for comfort.
 
“It’s too damn bright in here,” he growled.
 
“Why aren’t there shades on the windows?”
 

“Because I enjoy watching the night sky.
 
It’s almost as good as sleeping under the stars.”

“Figures,” he muttered, wishing she’d shut up and go to sleep.

“Stop avoiding my question,” she persisted.
 
“What do you have against women?”

The moonlight enabled him to see the outline of her body.
 
She was on her side, looking toward him.
 
His gaze ran down her body, lingering on the indentation of her waist, the slight flaring of her hip.
 
God, she was beautiful with her dark hair spread over the white pillowcase.
 
She looked younger than twenty-seven.
 

He sighed, accepting defeat.
 
Kat was like a dog with a bone, and he doubted she’d go to sleep until she had answers.
 
“What makes you think I hate women?
 
Haven’t I been nice to you?”

“It was obvious from the first moment I saw you.
 
Did you think I wouldn’t notice?”
 
He heard no anger in her voice, merely curiosity.
 
“And earlier this evening your tone was snide when you spoke about the type of women you date.
 
Oh, and I believe you said you’d never get married.
 
Usually, men who shy away from marriage do so for a reason.”

“Jesus, do you carry a tape recorder around with you?”
 
Jude asked.
 
“Let’s say I don’t have the highest regard for women, but I don’t hate them.
 
As a matter of fact, I find them extremely enjoyable on occasion.”
     

“Because you enjoy sex doesn’t mean you like women.”

The pitch of his voice rose a few decibels.
 
“Look, Jane.
 
I’m tired and don’t want to discuss my opinions of women.
 
Go to sleep.”
 

“Not until you answer me.”
 
Jude’s heart hit his ribs and bounced off his backbone when she swung her legs over the side of the bed and walked towards him.
 

“What the hell are you doing?” he croaked.
 
“Get back in bed.”
 
True to form, she ignored him and sat on the end of the mattress.

“Well?” she prompted.
 
“If we’re spending time together, I need to know what makes you tick.”

“Get back in your own bed, and we’ll discuss it.
 
But I want you to know,” he warned, “I’m getting freaking sick and tired of always giving in to you.”
 

Her small feet padded back across the floor.
 
She lay down on the outside of the covers, once again facing him.
 
Jude rolled on his back so he wouldn’t have to look at her.

His gut twisted into knots just thinking about telling Kat why he didn’t trust women–would never trust women.
 
Frank was the only person who knew the story.
 
Perhaps unloading the burden he’d carried for over fifteen years would be good for him.
 
Even though she tugged at his heartstrings, Kat was a stranger.
 
Wasn’t it easier to tell hidden secrets to strangers?

“Well?”
 
Impatience in Kat’s voice prodded him to begin.

Jude bit the bullet.
 
“I thought I had a perfect life while I was growing up, that I belonged to a perfect family.”
 
Talk about seeing through romantic lenses, he chided himself.
 
He stared through the skylight.
 
A trillion stars shimmered in the sky, making his personal problems seem insignificant in the grand scheme of life.

“Go on.”
 
Kat’s voice floated to him in encouragement.
 

He continued in a flat, emotionless voice.
 
“When I turned fifteen, my perfect world fell apart.
 
My parents were killed in a car accident.
 
Frank Rowe and his wife raised me, my brother and my sister.”
 

“Frank Rowe.
 
Isn’t he your supervisor?”
 
Kat asked.
 

“Yeah, but he’s more than that.
 
He and my father worked together at the Bureau for years.
 
They were good friends, as well as co-workers.
 
Anyway, at the burial, I noticed a stranger standing off by himself crying.
 
Curious, I walked over and introduced myself.
 
Asked his name and how he knew my parents.
 
It took him a while to stop crying.
 
When he did he told me I looked like her.
 
I asked him if he meant my mother.
 
He nodded and words gushed from his mouth like rats from a sewer pipe.
 
He told me how happy he and my mother had been for the past eight years.
 
How much he’d loved her.
 
How much she’d loved him.”
 

Jude stopped speaking and focused his eyes on the sparkling sky.
 
“I ran behind some trees and puked.
 
All those years, I thought my mother loved my father, loved all of us.
 
But it was all a sham.
 
We’d lived a life full of lies.
 

Closing his eyes, he waited for the familiar pain and bitterness to overtake him.
 
Nothing happened.
 
Nothing except a strong feeling of relief.

“That’s not true, Callahan.”
 
Kat landed on the end of his bed.
 
“Your mother loved you all enough to stay and make a home.
 
The fact that no one suspected her secret proves how much she loved you.
 
She wanted to be a part of your family, even if she did find love elsewhere, as well.
 

“She could have run off and left you all, but she didn’t, did she?
 
You shouldn’t judge your mother so harshly,” Kat chided him.
 
“You’ve no idea what demons drove her to fall in love with someone else.
 
There’s an Indian proverb you should keep in your heart.
 
Do not judge your neighbor until you walk two moons in his moccasins
.
 
Remember the love your mother showered on you for fifteen years and forget the rest.”

Jude stared into Kat’s eyes, stunned by the compassion in them.
 
He wanted to drag her into his arms.
 
Was she aware of the effect she had on him?
 
She had to be.
 
“Unless you plan to join me in this bed, I suggest you return to your own.
 
Now!”
 
He hardly recognized his own voice.

“And if I want to share your bed?”
 
Her chin tilted, a challenge in her eyes.

“I’d say you’re crazy.
 
There’s no future in it–for either of us.”
 
He steeled himself against his yearning to make love to her.
 
“It would be a one night stand, nothing more.
 
Unless I’ve misread you, you’re a woman destined for a home and a couple of kids.”
 
He searched her face, but found no clues of her feelings or thoughts.
 

Without another word, she returned to her bed.

Sleep still wouldn’t come to Jude, even though Kat remained silent.
 
He concentrated on the stars, rehashing his childhood and the subsequent death of his parents.
 
For years, his mother had been having an affair, but was Kat right?
 
Maybe it was time to forgive and forget.
 
What gave him the right to judge her life?
 
He remembered all the assignments that took his father away from home for weeks at a time.
 
As an adult, he better understood the loneliness his mother must have lived with.
 
He thanked God that his siblings knew nothing of her secret.
 

*****

Kat thought about what Jude had said.
 
Was she the type of woman who wanted a home and children?
 
To be honest, she’d never given it much thought.
 
That is, until today.
 
Until she’d met Jude.
 
Until he’d put the thought in her head.
 
She tossed and turned, finally falling into a troubled sleep.
 
Then the dream came.

The military convoy crept along the road in the sandstorm. Grit swirled, bouncing off the windshield like ice pellets.
 
Each convoy took its toll on every one of them.
 
Hoping against hope that they wouldn’t be attacked or hit a bomb planted in the road.
 
Without warning, the Humvee in front of hers exploded, spewing fire and debris.
 
Horrified, Kat watched, helpless.
 
She needed to protect her soldiers.
 
Frantic, she fought to get out of her vehicle, but she remained trapped and powerless.
 
She kicked at the door with both feet, but it wouldn’t open.
 
No matter which way she moved, she was unable to escape and take command of the situation.
 
She twisted left, then right, fighting the invisible restraints, holding her down.
 
She opened her mouth and screamed her frustration
.
 

*****

A strange mewing noise woke Jude.
 
His muscles tensed and his hand dropped to the floor for his weapon.
 
He strained his ears, wondering if it was a two legged animal outside.
 
He relaxed.
 
The muffled noises came from Kat.
 
She moaned and thrashed on the bed.
 
Hair rose on the back of his neck when her bloodcurdling scream ripped through the loft.

He rolled from his bed just as she jerked upright, her arms tearing at the sheets and blankets.
 
He bounded over and pulled her into his arms.
 
She continued to fight her invisible enemy.
 
He realized she attempted to escape from her sheets.
 
He yanked off the bedding tangled around her lower body.

“Kat, wake up.” he crooned, holding her close as he rubbed his hands up and down her back.
 
“It was just a dream.”
 
Hot tears dripped on his arm.