Charlene Sands (16 page)

“No point at all.”

Bodine should be glad she hadn’t found out any more while in Pine Ridge. The less information she gathered, the sooner she’d be inclined to go home. That was Bodine’s mission—to see her safely home. But Emmy had a stubborn streak and she wouldn’t give up her search easily. If their circumstances had been different, he’d have found a way to wipe the disappointment from her face and encourage her to continue. But that wasn’t his goal tonight. “I can tell you this, if a man wants to disappear, there isn’t a whole lot we can do to find him.”

“Disappear?” Emmy stopped in the street just outside the hotel, her eyes bright with indignation. “What are you saying? That I might never find my father?”

Bodine nodded. “Yeah. You might have to face facts.”

She shook her head. “I won’t give up.”

Bodine cursed silently but kept his voice steady. “You might have to one day.”

Emmy stared him square in the eyes. “I’ll give up my search the day that you give up yours.”

Caught unwittingly, Bodine lashed out. “It’s not the same, Emmy. And you know it.”

“What I know is that we’re both determined to see this through. And my need to find my father is just as powerful as yours is to find your brother’s killer.”

Emmy’s voice held strong determination, her face set with a stubborn expression. There’d be no talking her out of this tonight. Tamping down frustration, Bodine nudged her along with a hand to her lower back. “Damn, it’s cold. Let’s get inside.”

They walked into the hotel and Bodine followed her up the stairs to her room. Quietly, they both entered and, when Emmy removed her coat, she turned without a word to give him her back.

Bodine had taken to fastening up and undoing her gown before and after each performance, and he wondered if that French dressmaker hadn’t had that very thing in mind when she designed those tiny buttons on the alluring gown. No one could possibly get in and out of such a formfitting garment without help and Bodine had been granted that honor.

He made sure not to touch her any more than necessary, but at night he’d go into his own room and think about the silken hair she pushed aside for him, the slender feminine line of her neck and the softness of her dewy skin. In those moments, while alone in his bed, he’d admit that he wanted her.

His need ran deep.

He couldn’t imagine allowing any other man to touch her in this nightly task and that, more than anything, kept him from sleep more times than not.

“Good night, Emmy,” he whispered.

She turned silently, holding her gown up and beseeched him with those unique, beguiling eyes.
Don’t go,
they seemed to say each night.

Bodine had never known any greater temptation. He willed himself to step away from her and silently communicated back every time,
I have to.

And he walked out of her room torn between duty and desire once again, as he had since he’d first met her weeks ago.

E
mma sat across the campfire from Bodine, braiding her hair before she turned in. The fire crackled and glowed with orange heat in the mild November evening. They’d had a warm spell lately, which made traveling a bit easier. Since leaving Pine Ridge, they’d trekked to four other towns, Emma getting her hopes up when someone seemed to recognize her father’s name, but ultimately nothing had come of it.

The same held true for Bodine’s search. His leads seemed to have died out, but both were still set and determined to continue on, although he often put a bug in her ear that she might never find her father.

Emma wouldn’t let him see her great disappointment, though the thrill of entertaining had not waned, and she doubted it ever would. In every town they’d come to, she’d been fortunate to perform in front of good-size crowds. Emma was more than certain she had been put on this earth to sing, to bring joy and delight to those who had hit upon hard times. If she could find her father, she’d know full satisfaction.

She glanced over at Bodine, who was watching her fingers separate the strands of hair as she made her braid, his expression intent, his face gleaming in the firelight.

She amended her last thought.

She might never know complete satisfaction.

True to his word, Bodine had kept his distance, but she caught him watching her all too often. She noted unguarded lust in his clouded eyes when she performed. And she heard his unspoken words when he wished her good-night every evening.

Lola shuffled around from her stance by an oak several feet away, snorting and breaking the silence but for the intermittent crackle of the fire. The mare seemed content to be spending the evening outdoors. Most nights she was stabled inside the livery at whatever town they visited.

Today they’d gotten off to a late start. Emma had met with a banker’s widow who thought she recognized Jake Trundy’s name, but after a lovely afternoon tea with the woman, Emma realized she’d only been hungry for a little companionship and had no real news to share. Rather than waste another night in a town with no answers, she and Bodine decided to head out toward their next destination, Tucker Hill.

When Emma finished braiding her hair, Bodine leaned back on the saddle blanket, braced upon his elbows. “Sing for me, Emmy.”

Whenever they were out on the trail, Bodine would make this request. Emma couldn’t refuse such a plea. She relished the thoughtful look on his face and the pleasure she could bring him in those few moments when he relinquished his bitterness.

She folded her hands in her lap and lifted her voice in song, singing one soft ballad after another.

Bodine closed his eyes as if allowing peace to settle inside him, absorbing the heartfelt songs in a place he rarely showed anyone.

But Emma saw. She watched the transformation on his face, and in those genuine moments she witnessed the real Bodine, the man devoid of hatred and heartache and guilt.

When he opened his eyes, she was there connecting with him, and as the lyrics flowed out she gave up her heart to the hardened man, showing him another way.

Bodine watched her with a glint of hunger in his eyes.

Emma sang with everything she had inside. She emptied out her heart, putting deep emotion in every verse she sang like a plea straight from her soul.

Bodine rose and she continued to sing, tears welling in her eyes when she finally came to a painful realization.

She loved him.

She’d fought her feelings for a long time, but every emotion inside her rebelled, forcing her to admit the truth. She loved Bodine, the man with one name.

Slowly, he ambled over to her and peered down. “I’m walking away,” he said quietly. “Keep singing for a time so I know you’re all right. I’ll be back once you’ve gone to sleep.”

Emma closed her eyes and tears spilled out.

“This is for the best, Emmy.”

She nodded, her pride deeply injured, her heart broken in two.

Bodine walked into the darkness.

And she began to sing again.

Emma woke the next morning to an empty bedroll beside her. Last night the heat from Bodine’s body had helped keep her warm, though he no longer wrapped his arms around her. He no longer whispered in her ear before dozing off. He no longer teased her with hands that would come ever so close to making her swoon.

He had cast her off. She’d known, of course—she was no match for a man like Bodine. Still, she’d seen want and need in his eyes when he listened to her sing. She’d witnessed the softening of his features, a glimmer of the man he could become if only vengeance and obligation hadn’t set him on this unholy path.

The pungent aroma of Arbuckles’ coffee brewing over low embers beckoned her. Emma rose from the blanket and scanned the campsite. She spotted Bodine by Lola’s side, stroking her snout with words of encouragement. The mare had seen them through a long journey and had never faltered. And if she were honest with herself, she’d admit Bodine had done the same with her. He’d been vigilant, ever by her side and seeing to it that she wanted for nothing.

Emma shook her head, bemused.

This is for the best, Emmy.

She knew he was right, yet she couldn’t help wanting him. She was a girl ready to be claimed as a woman, and the only one she wanted to stake that claim was a man who was already spoken for.

Every time she looked at him, her gut clenched. He was like no other. She could live a thousand lifetimes and never find a man quite like Bodine.

Emma walked off for a bit of privacy and returned wearing a clean dress while Bodine extinguished the meager morning flames. Leaving the fire pit, he strode toward her and handed her a cup of coffee. She grasped it with her eyes downcast, refusing to look at him.

“Have something to eat,” he said. “We’ll be on our way soon.”

She nodded and took a sip of coffee. The steaming liquid burned her tongue. “Ouch! Heaven, it’s hot.”

Fanning the air impatiently, Emma parted her lips to cool down her tongue.

“I should have warned you,” Bodine said with regret, his attention on her mouth.

“You’re not my protector,” she rushed out harshly. She shook her head and managed a tremulous smile. “I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself. I don’t need you.”

Though Bodine had cursed up a storm after her declaration, Emma kept her emotions in check during their morning ride to Tucker Hill. She would rather die than allow another crying scene like the one she’d made last night. She understood Bodine all too well. She’d been a fool to think that the glint in his eyes or the way he smiled when they shared a humorous moment had meant anything.

Emma sat rigidly in the saddle, but she couldn’t block out the feel of Bodine’s big body as he surrounded her. His arms encased her and, as he held the reins, their shoulders bumped from time to time. He guided Lola along, his legs nudging hers, pressing against her flesh even through her petticoats. And when her body gave way from her inflexible posture she fell back against the firm cushion of his chest to feel his belt buckle rub into her derriere.

Her imagination soared to great heights, but she fought the sensation with every shred of willpower she possessed.
Emma,
she admonished,
he doesn’t love you.
It was enough of a reminder to put her wayward thoughts back on track.

They arrived in Tucker Hill just after noon. While Bodine saw to Lola’s needs at the livery, Emma registered for two rooms at the Hillside Hotel, a fancy three-story establishment that housed a gambling hall and large dining room on the first floor.

Emma’s room was on the second floor. Though Bodine would protest, she made sure his room was on the third floor at the opposite end of the hotel. She needed time away from him, to gather her thoughts and convince herself she was better off without him.

Emma parted white lace curtains covered with heavy pleated crimson draperies to let warming rays inside while she went about a fast dry bath. She washed road dust from her body then put a comb to her hair, securing the wayward tresses up into a fashionable knot at the base of her neck. Immediately she felt better about her appearance. Glancing at the big four-poster cherrywood bed, the soft, cushiony quilts and fancy pillows sorely tempted her. Oh, how she’d love to forget her obligations today so she might take a nap before having to face Bodine again.

It wasn’t to be, so Emma wrapped a shawl around her shoulders, exited her room and found him at the base of the stairs, a frown pulling at his lips. “My room’s on the third floor. Yours is on the second. How’d that happen?”

“It was the only other room available.” Emma breezed past him, walking out into the street.

“Doubtful,” he said. His long strides were no match for her. He was beside her instantly. “What’d you do, pay off the desk clerk?”

Emma feigned surprise, then continued walking toward the sheriff’s office and saloon, the two places they’d taken to visiting as soon as they arrived in a town. “Me? That’s your method, not mine.”

“You’re a fast learner, Emmy.”

She smiled. “Thank you, Bodine.”

“It’s not a compliment and bribery is not quality I like to see in a woman.”

“Really?” Emma kept pace with Bodine, her mind reeling. Since the day they’d met, he’d managed to puzzle and perplex her. She had to block him out of her head and her heart completely. “Well then,” she breathed, “since I have no traits you find admirable, why do you care what I do?”

“I don’t.”

She flinched, his comment causing injury. She kept walking.

“Emmy, you’re being difficult.”

“Yes, another quality you don’t like to see in a woman. I’d say we are perfectly mismatched and maybe I was hasty in entering into this partnership.”

“It’s no damn partnership, Emmy.”

“No, it’s not. Maybe we should part—”

“Hell, Emmy,” he interrupted. “I have good news.”

Emma halted on the street and stopped her ranting. She inhaled deeply. “Is it my father?”

Bodine shook his head, a glint of regret in his eyes. “No.”

Disappointment registered and Emma’s hopes plummeted. She pursed her lips and closed her eyes briefly. “Then it couldn’t possibly be good news.”

Bodine walked on ahead of her. “Pity you think so. I guess I’ll have to tell Mr. Robard you’re not interested.”

She watched him walk farther away till finally her curiosity got the better of her. Stubborn now, she refused to run to catch up with him. She called, “Interested in what, Bodine?”

He turned partway and spoke over his shoulder, “Performing on a real stage for the Tucker Hill Theater Company.”

Two days later, Bodine placed Mrs. Rourke’s latest telegram into the hidden pocket of his slicker to keep her message close at hand as he walked to the Tucker Hill Theater.

He clenched his jaw. The thought of Emmy marrying Grant Harper just didn’t sit right. Surely Mrs. Rourke knew her granddaughter had a strong mind and couldn’t be persuaded until she was ready.

In truth, Emma wasn’t any closer to going home now than she was before they’d arrived in Tucker Hill. She’d been offered a position as the newest attraction at the Tucker Hill Theater.

Foolishly, Bodine had helped her attain that employment, eager to see her dream of performing onstage come to light. That’s what galled him the most. He couldn’t believe his own actions. His job was to bring Emma home to her grandmother, not prolong her journey on this wild-goose chase. Yet, he’d seized the opportunity just to keep Emma from bitter disappointment once she realized that she would never find her father.

When he’d arrived at the livery the other day, Bodine had a chance meeting with the manager of the Tucker Hill Theater and Bodine spoke of Emma’s great talent. Mr. Robard immediately extended an invitation to Emma to audition. Once Emma lifted her voice in song she’d convinced the theater manager and had been hired for three nightly engagements. She’d been in rehearsals for two days with a group of musicians while Mr. Robard and his assistants spread the word in the area about his latest discovery.

Tonight was Miss Emma Marie’s opening. Bodine had no doubt she would be a smashing success as he entered the back door of the theater and stood in the sidelines watching Emmy walk onstage. Hidden behind ornate golden curtains, she waited for them to rise, taking a deep breath and looking beautiful in Mademoiselle Dubois’s creation. She glanced his way and cast him a tremulous smile, her eyes glittering with fear.

Bodine tipped his hat, locked his gaze to hers and nodded. Encouraged, she smiled with confidence now.

The curtain went up. Emmy faced her audience.

And Eloisa Rourke’s words pounded in Bodine’s head.

Time’s running out.

Bodine needed to see Emmy home so he could begin a true pursuit of Rusty Metcalf. But the more time he spent with her the more she confounded him and tempted his rigid code of honor.