Charlene Sands (9 page)

Emmy wrapped her arms around her middle, hugging herself. She spoke boldly, with no real embarrassment. “You mean when you kissed every part of me and stirred me until bright lights burst from my body?”

Bodine stared at her. Her words struck him. And heated him. He’d pleasured her, but she’d done the same for him. He couldn’t deny it, and now to hear her speak so earnestly only flamed his desire more.

“Yeah, that’s what I mean. It can’t happen again.”

“It seems to be
happening
between us, Bodine. What I don’t understand is why you don’t want it to?”

“Go to bed, Emmy. It’s late. We’ll talk in the morning.”

She laughed without mirth. “Don’t order me to go back to bed. Not without you.”

“It has to be without me. I almost claimed your innocence, Emmy. It was wrong. A mistake…and I’m fully to blame.”

“You’re to
blame?
” She trembled now with indignation. “You’re to blame for making me feel alive and beautiful? You’re to blame for setting my body on fire in such a pleasing way that I’d never sleep again without dreaming of it. Well, then, yes. The fault is yours. Because you have done all that to me.” She lowered her voice to a husky whisper. “That, and so much more.”

“Emmy, I mean what I say.”

“Tell me why,” she implored him, her trembling catching his eye.

Bodine strode the distance of the room to stand before her. She looked at him askance. He bent and lifted the robe, covering her with warmth. He held the robe closed at her shoulders and looked deep into her pleading eyes. “I can’t touch you like that ever again.”

“But you wanted me. Admit that.”

Bodine stood in silence.

“Bodine?”

“Emmy, none of this was meant to happen.”

“You keep saying that.”

“Damn it! I’m pledged to another woman!”

Eyes wide, Emmy backed up, nearly tripping on the robe. “You’re,” she began, her voice quivering, “
pledged
to another woman?”

Bodine closed his eyes briefly.

“Who is she?”

“Josh’s widow. I gave him my word, Emmy. As he lay dying. I promised to take care of Rachel and the baby.”

“The
baby?
” Clearly shaken, she said with despair, “Oh, Lord.”

“He’s only a tot. Not even a year.”

“And so, you plan to go to her—”

“After I find Metcalf. Yeah, I owe Josh that much.”

Then she lifted her chin, her expression setting stubbornly. “So you toyed with me…what? Out of boredom? You were stuck in the cabin with me and thought it a good way to pass the time?”

“No, Emmy. Like I said, it was my mistake.”

“Tell me, is Josh’s wife pretty? Beautiful, maybe?”

“Stop it, Emmy!”

“I bet she’s a lovely woman. Is she tall and full—”

“I said, stop it!” Bodine gripped her shoulders. “There’s nothing lacking in you. I have an iron will and you tore that down. You think I have a choice in any of this? You’ve got a gift, Emmy. You’re beautiful in your own way.”

She snorted, the vile sound so unlike her. “In my own way? I think I shall faint from the compliment.”

Bodine released her then. She backed away and peered at him with cold angry eyes.

“Hell, Emmy.”

She stood still as a pole.

Bodine grabbed the saddle blanket. “I’ll sleep in the main room.”

She swallowed. “See that you do.”

He nodded. “If the weather holds, we’ll be leaving first thing in the morning. Get some rest.”

“Yes, I think I will. I’ll be glad to be rid of this cabin.”

And you.
He could almost hear her unspoken words. Only she wouldn’t get rid of him at all. He would stay with her another five weeks if necessary and see her home before Christmas. That was the deal he’d made with her grandmother.

Things had gotten complicated.

Yet, Bodine had given his word and was being paid a small fortune.

One way or another, he would honor his vow to Eloisa Rourke and to his brother, Josh.

E
mma had tried to block her tears, but they came anyway. In the wee hours of the morning she couldn’t hold back her pain and sorrow. She allowed herself a few moments of grief then set her mind on finding her father. After that, she’d come to terms with what she wanted for her life. The one thing she wouldn’t do was throw herself at Bodine again.

He’d confounded her enough. She didn’t quite know what he’d wanted from her. She didn’t quite know why he’d come to her aid, time after time. He’d given her just the briefest glimpse into his life and if he was honestly honor-bound to marry another, why had he been so enticed by her? She was hardly the kind of woman who inspired great passion in men.

But Bodine hadn’t seemed uninspired in the least. He’d made her body hum with pleasure. He’d kissed every part of her and made her splinter in two. She’d never felt such satisfaction, wicked and wonderful at the same time.

Emma sighed, refusing to think another second about it. She dressed quickly, broke up the fire until they became scattered embers, and took up her coat. Exiting the bedroom, she found Bodine with his back to her, stowing gear and food into his saddlebags.

“I left Big Ed compensation for his hospitality.” Busy with his task, he didn’t turn to look at her.

Emma was glad for that. Perplexed and confused, she wasn’t ready to look into his eyes yet, to meet his face or see his set expression.

She did want to compensate Big Ed, though, and the very least Emma could do for him would be to clean and straighten out the cabin.

“You almost ready?” Bodine asked, fastening the saddlebag’s straps.

“No. I plan on cleaning the cabin.”

Bodine let go a deep sigh. “Fine. I’ll get Lola ready.”

Satisfied she’d managed to perplex Bodine, Emma hummed her way around the cabin, taking up a rag to dust, finding a broom to sweep and arranging the jars and utensils in orderly fashion in the cupboards. She made sure the embers had died completely, the bed was straightened and the windows locked shut. When all was done, she took one last long look around the cabin, refusing to allow sadness to touch her, and she donned her coat and exited.

Finally, she came face-to-face with Bodine, who had Lola saddled and ready outside the barn. Holding the reins in hand, their eyes met.

Emma’s heart escalated just seeing him dressed in his slicker, his dark hat atop his head, looking healthy and handsome. His beard had grown from stubble to something more and he needed a shave. She’d never gotten around to helping with that, nor had she been taught how to shoot a gun. Regardless, they had been through so much and Emma steeled herself against loving him. He didn’t want her and, if he’d told the truth, he had obligations to another woman.

The searing pain of that revelation struck her once again. He would never be free to love her back. Perhaps that was for the best. Emma had enough to do, and she was even more determined now.

“We’ll ride into Oakhurst. Get the things you need.” His gaze flicked over the tattered dress she wore and his mouth crooked up ever so much. “Appreciate your sacrifice, Emmy.”

Which sacrifice? The sacrifice she’d made when she ruined her clothes to stop his bleeding or the one where she’d given him her trust and her heart. “Just my petticoats in exchange for your life,” she said quietly. “Didn’t seem like there was any real choice.”

Bodine stared at her for a moment and this time she noted regret in his eyes. “Emmy, listen. About what—”

“No need to explain, Bodine. I understand…completely.”

He studied her for a long moment then blinked. “Fine. Let’s go.”

Emma approached. Bodine lifted her up and onto Lola. Emma refused to meet his gaze, yet his hands on her waist stirred memories of being in bed with him last night. She recalled his expert caresses making her body swim with delight, how he could extract a trembling sigh or a pleasured moan with just the slightest touch. Those memories would never fade, she feared.

Once seated, Bodine mounted behind her and wrapped his arms around to reach for the reins. Encased in his arms once again, Emma sat as still as stone, refusing to rest back against his chest.

“It’s not long to Oakhurst, Emmy,” he said, his breath warming her, making her nerves tingle. “But you’ll tire out if you don’t relax.”

“Don’t worry about me, Bodine.” Even to Emma’s ears she sounded like a shrew.

He grunted his reply and then clicked his heels. Lola seemed more than happy to oblige. She took off in a trot.

They rode away, leaving Big Ed’s cabin and the frozen lake behind, the autumn morning sun breaking through dotted clouds to put a bit of warmth in the air.

Shortly after, they reached Oakhurst and Emma knew a moment of excitement. Fender’s Dry Goods looked more appealing than she’d originally thought the day she’d first come upon this town with an injured man to tend. Close up, she noted many items in the window such as bolts of fabric, shaving utensils, stockings and hats.

Emma waited for Bodine to dismount then nearly threw herself down into his awaiting arms. She straightened when he held on to her a bit longer than necessary and pushed past him to enter the shop. Inside, a potbellied stove sat in the middle of the room lending warmth.

A bearded young man wearing a neighborly smile greeted her from behind the counter. “Mornin’, miss.”

“It
is
a good morning,” Emma said, happy to have someone besides Bodine to talk to. It’d been days since she’d had a conversation with someone so openly friendly. “I’m in need of many things.”

“Well, look around and let me know if I might help you with anything. My name’s Joseph.”

Emma smiled. “Thank you. I certainly will.”

She could barely contain her joy when she glanced at the wall to the right and noted a few dresses hanging. She rushed to them and lifted one, touching the soft cotton fabric.

“My mama likes to sew,” he said, moving to stand beside a pickle barrel at the counter. “She doesn’t sell many. Not too many women around these parts.”

Emma looked over all three dresses. They’d need taking in and hemming up, but they were pretty enough, one a calico print with tiny pink flowers, the others solid colored in light blue and pale yellow. All three had touches of lace and pretty buttons. “Well, you can tell your mama she sold them all.” Emma wouldn’t be caught again without clothes on her back. “And I’ll take the knitted shawl and two pair of stockings.”

Joseph grinned. “Mama will be tickled. I’ll tell her soon as she gets back from visiting with her sis in North Fork. Is there anything else you might need?”

“You sell needle and thread, don’t you?” she asked, bringing her items to the counter.

“I have just this one.” He handed her a small sewing kit made of leather. “You’ll find what you need inside.”

“Thank you, this is perfect,” she said, after inspecting it. Next, she walked over to the shelf and took up a wide-toothed comb. “Do you have any hairbrushes?”

“No, miss. Sorry. But I’m sure whatever you don’t find here, you’ll find in the next town.”

“I’ll be traveling northwest…”

Bodine entered the shop, distracting her. He stood just inside and waited with arms folded. Joseph looked from him to her.

“Like I said, I’ll be traveling northwest toward San Francisco. What’s the name of the next town?”

“Bridgeton,” they both answered.

Frustrated, Emma glanced at Bodine first and then smiled Joseph’s way. “And I’ll find what I’m looking for there?”

He glanced at Bodine before nodding. “Yes, miss. I think so. They’ve got much more than we do here. You won’t be disappointed.”

“No, I don’t want any more disappointments along the way,” she said, drawing a puzzled frown from poor Joseph, though she relished Bodine’s sharp intake of breath. “I’d love to wear one of the dresses now. Is there a place I might make a few stitches and put it on?”

“Our house is just through that door,” he said, pointing toward the back door. “You could use one of the rooms. I’ll show you the way.”

“Thank you,” she said, taking up the pink calico and the comb. But just as she began to follow Joseph, Bodine stepped between them and glared at her.

“We’re wasting time, Emmy. Bridgeton is twenty-five miles from here. We need to leave now.”

Mortified, Emmy peeked around Bodine’s big body. “Excuse me one second, Joseph.” Then she whispered through tight lips, “I’m not leaving until I change my clothes.”

“There’s no time.”

“I
need
to change into something decent.”

He scrubbed the scratchy stubble on his face. “And I damn well need a shave. We’ll have time in Bridgeton for all that.”

“I can’t wait another day. If you don’t like it, leave me here. You’re not obligated to me. I’ll find my own way.”

Bodine kept a calm appearance, but he spoke with controlled fury. “I
should
leave you here.”

“I wish you would,” she gritted out. “Just give me my money.” She put out her hand. “Two hundred dollars, Bodine.”

“You mean Hurley’s money, don’t you?”

“It’s mine now. You said yourself, wouldn’t do any good to try to return it.”

Bodine reached inside his coat, coming up with cash.

“What’s this?” she asked, looking at a few bills that amounted to less than twenty dollars.

“That’s enough to pay for your parcels, Emmy. The way you like to spend money, you’ll be out of cash by the end of the week.”

“Are you giving me an
allowance?
”

Bodine crossed his arms across his middle and rocked back on his boot heels. “Yeah.”

“I’m not a child,” she whispered with indignation.

Bodine’s gaze traveled the length of her and he rested his eyes on her breasts, his lips quirking up. “I know.”

Emmy ignored the hot shimmers racing up and down her body and whirled around to face the proprietor. “If you’ll be kind enough to show me that room now, Joseph.”

Her quick movement startled him. Joseph nearly jumped out of his skin. “Of course,” he said, keeping a wide berth from Bodine. He led the way into the rooms behind the shop. “Right through here.” He guided her into a parlor and pointed to a bedroom.

Emma entered a room sparsely filled with furniture but sweet smelling, with the slightest scent of roses in the air. Pretty yellow gingham curtains covered the only window and a lovely patterned quilt of autumn colors spread across the bed. “I hope this suits you, miss.”

“My name is Emma Marie,” she offered, and as she turned to thank Joseph, she spotted Bodine just steps behind.

“What are you do—” she began to ask, then shook her head. She was simply too darn eager to alter, then change into a decent gown to worry about Bodine. “Never mind.”

With a big smile, she closed the door quickly, shutting out both the gawking men.

“You almost done in there?” Bodine’s impatient question put a smile on Emma’s face. She sat on the comfortable bed, making her stitches, imagining him pacing the parlor. Joseph had gone back to his place behind the counter rather than suffer Bodine’s foul mood, she would guess. All had been quiet for a time, Bodine informing her he’d be out for a time to buy feed for Lola and get other supplies, but she had known the minute he reentered the parlor. There was no mistaking Bodine when he wasn’t happy.

She chuckled quietly as she worked, sorry to be taking advantage of Joseph’s hospitality, yet she couldn’t help but relish irritating Bodine.

“Just another few minutes,” she replied, her voice lighthearted as she made her stitches.

“You said that five minutes ago!”

“I’m almost finished,” she answered calmly.

From right outside the door, she heard him grunt.

Emma continued to smile as she worked. She wanted the dress to fit her just right. While growing up at the Rourke estate, she usually had her gowns made for her by expert seamstresses. But Gram had always said a lady should know what to do with needle and thread, so Emma had been taught quite well.

On rainy days, she’d sit in the parlor with her grandmother practicing to make even stitches. Emma recalled the first piece of clothing she’d actually made, a little girl’s handbag. Her mama had been so proud of the small lopsided but functional reticule, and Emma had taken her lady’s purse everywhere she went.

“Could have got to Bridgeton and back with all the time you’re taking.”

Emma finished with the gown and set it on the bed. “One more minute.”

Then she lifted the comb to her unruly hair and spent the next five minutes smoothing out her tresses. She had no pins, so she used a long piece of matching material she’d cut from her gown as a headband. She let her hair fall past her shoulders, tying the band of fabric in a bow at her nape.

She slipped out of her ragged dress and stepped into her new flowery calico gown. She glanced into the cheval mirror and approved of the reflection staring back at her. In her estimation, she’d done a good job of altering the gown. Now, at least, the dress hugged her slight curves and didn’t dust the floor with its long length. She had just finished closing the last of the buttons over her chest when Bodine burst into the room.