Chasing Down Changes (Moroad Motorcycle Club) (19 page)

Everything had fallen into place easier than he'd imagined.

Tiff scooted over and sat on the edge of the bed, far enough away from him to keep her body from touching him. "Did you murder the guard in self-defense or did you kill him to stay in prison?"

He flexed his hands. His life had nothing to do with her.

"Talk to me," she said.

"I don't know what you want me to say." He looked at his knuckles. "I'm a killer. The guard wasn't the last or only man I killed. I survived prison. I proved to everyone on the inside that I wasn't someone to mess with. I went in a kid...you have no idea what it's like for a twenty-year-old to walk behind the Cyclone fence thinking he'd do his time and leave."

She grabbed his hand, forcing him to stop talking to his fingers. "Are you telling me you had no choice? That you killed the guard to keep yourself safe?"

The muscles in his shoulders spasmed. "No."

"No, what?"

"I killed him before my court date to make sure I got sentenced long enough to do what needed to be done." He stretched his legs out. "Three years into my sentence, I killed a Los Li member who believed taking out one of my Moroad brothers would show Cam the extortion agreement could be ignored. Five years later, I took two more Los Li members out for the same reason, until there were no more whispers about facing down Moroad. Is that what you want to hear? I made each choice to take someone's life because it furthered my plans with Moroad."

She stood, pressing her hand to her throat. "You're not a killer."

"Did you not listen, huh?" He stood. "I've killed four men, and if I had to do it all over again, I'd make the same decision."

She whirled around. "Cam's making you into his little puppet."

"You're wrong."

"You're telling me that Cam wasn't the mastermind behind everything that happened, and his sole purpose was to see his son as the head of Moroad?" She laughed harshly. "Come on, Jeremy. Wise up. From day one, your dad has controlled you. He stole you to get Christina. Then he finds out you're really his son, and he trains you to lead Moroad."

"That's not what happened."

"Then tell me what the fuck is going on because from my view it looks like you purposely left me. That you made a conscious decision to kill someone as an excuse to stay in prison." She planted her hands on her hips. "Make me understand what happened to the boy I loved. What happened to my best friend who listened to me dream my life away, and had plans to spend the rest of his life with me? Not once had you ever mentioned how you're going to give your freedom away for your club or kill people."

He stared at her. His stomach tied in one unbreakable knot. He'd never tell her what drove him into his need to control the club. There were no words to describe his thought process or reasoning. He only knew deep down; he only had one direction to go if he'd ever make something of his life.

Tiff shook her head, shook it harder when the silence grew between them. Her expression changed from firm denial to understanding. Inside him, his chest pounded needing her to say what he wouldn't allow himself to tell her. To tell anyone.

"Oh, my God." She panted, unable to look away from him. "You became the kind of man your dad would want."

The four walls suffocated him. He opened his mouth, and nothing came out. She understood him better than she knew, and he stood in front of her raw and naked, unable to hide the truth.

He blinked once. That's all he could do.

Guarding himself from showing any weakness, fear, vulnerability was a way of life in prison. So deeply ingrained in him to protect himself, he would give no one the key to taking him down or rip away what belonged to him again.

"You went to prison to fulfill your requirement to be a lifer in Moroad and made it impossible for Cam not to want you," she whispered.

She stepped closer. His rapid pulse throbbed inside his skull. He would never give her more information. She had it all.

"You've made it impossible for me to walk away from you. You've made it clear from the beginning that you want to make sure I understood I couldn't go on alone and that I wanted your protection if I planned to continue running the bordello. You want your MC brothers to want you as their leader." Her eyes softened. "Tell me I'm right. I need to hear you need me to want you."

His throat locked up, he stood there and looked at her for a long, silent while. She never moved. She never gave up on him. She never stopped wanting him.

So, he kissed her.

His lips the only part of his body to touch her, moved and deepened the kiss. She opened for him and breathed life into his body. He slid his tongue against hers, slow, hot, and precise. He answered her question with one kiss.

She put her hands on his stomach, leaning into him. He could taste her warmth, and she responded because she wanted him. She wanted the boy who dreamed with her. The man who killed. The stranger that returned to her. The best friend that would never leave her. He greedily took everything she handed him with her submission.

He pulled back and whispered, "Did you hear me?"

Her eyes welled up, and she nodded. "I heard."

Before she could ask any more questions, he led her back to bed. There in the dark, the neon sign flashed below the window outside, he rolled her close to the wall and held her.

He couldn't lose her.

J
eremy poured a cup of coffee and stood in front of the counter studying the creamer. Tiff set the laundry basket down and not for the first time in the last twenty-four hours, melancholy fluttered over her.

After Jeremy's talk with her last night after the meeting, he'd woken her up with sex and disappeared outside while she was in the shower. She stepped over to the kitchen and stopped by the marble-top island. He put on a good act to keep her content and in a good mood, but when he believed she wasn't around—like now when he knew she was doing laundry downstairs—his thoughts centered around whatever was bothering him.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

He turned and raised his brows. "Yeah. I changed the oil on the Harley and thought I'd grab a cup of coffee before I head over to the motel and check on my brothers. They'll probably have questions about what went down now that they had time to think about the changes."

The constant reminder that Jeremy would never again be only hers sent her funk to a new low. She picked up the basket. "Okay, well, I'll see you when you get back, right?"

His gaze intensified. Her pliancy over the situation only seemed to provoke him when he should be thrilled she wasn't causing a shit-storm. Throughout her sleepless night, she'd gone over every option she had to rid herself of the fear and uncertainty in their relationship, and came to the conclusion this morning that Jeremy was right all along. She wanted him, and she was willing to put up with his club, his status in the club, and the risk of belonging to Moroad.

It wasn't as if she was sacrificing herself for him. She continued to live in the Sterling Building with him, and he allowed her to continue running her two businesses.

Once she'd gotten past her anger and to the bottom of what Jeremy wanted from her, she understood that the man she had loved before prison was the same man standing in front of her. Her heart would always belong to him whether she was with him or alone.

They could make their relationship work.

She believed in him.

She even trusted him when it came to how he treated, respected, and cared for her.

His skill at keeping club activities away from their personal life is what made her forgive him for not telling her the truth about why he was incarcerated. With time, she'd get better at trusting him to know what was best for both of them.

He walked around the kitchen island and hooked the back of her neck, dragging her forward. She dropped the laundry basket again.

He gave her a kiss, letting his lips linger on her skin. "Concentrate on me, your work, and things will work out. I'll make sure of it."

"I'm trying." She sighed, slipping her arms around his waist. "Will you be back in time to enjoy the evening here?"

"Yeah. I'll only be a couple of hours." He kissed her lips. "Call me if you need me, but use the phone I put on the table. I don't want you using your contracted phone."

"I remember." She squeezed him one more time and let him go.

He drank from his coffee cup, put it down on the island, and walked toward the door. She called his name before he could leave. He turned, and the one thing they hadn't settled despite how much she tried to convince herself she had no reason to worry popped out of her mouth. "Are you going to see Lola?"

"She lives at the motel, baby."

Her body tightened. "I know, but are you going to
see
Lola?"

"If I do, she has nothing to do with you and me." He lifted his chin. "Walk me out and set the alarm."

She stayed behind him in the hallway, followed him down the stairs slowly, and when they entered the main floor of the Sterling Building, she had the sudden urge to grab his arm and drag her feet along the floor to keep him with her. Disgust over her behavior and insecurities kept her from saying or doing anything.

At the back door, she kissed him when he lowered his head. Passive, polite, and hating the fact he was leaving on her day off.

"See you later." He backed away.

She leaned against the door. "Later."

The sheriff's vehicle pulled up against the curb behind the building and Jeremy stopped. She pushed the door the rest of the way open and walked outside ready to play mediator between Jeremy and the sheriff, so he could get away and go to the motel.

"Hi Colby." She smiled. "What brings you around here today?"

Sheriff Colby removed his hat, glanced at Jeremy, and spoke to Tiff. "Courtesy call."

"What's going on?" Tiff exhaled, relieved the sheriff's appearance had nothing to do with Jeremy.

"Yesterday, we hired two new officers through the county," said Sheriff Colby.

"Congratulations." Born and raised in Federal, she understood the hardships on keeping good men in the department since the silver mines fluctuated every year. Funds dwindled in the county as people left the small valley. Law enforcement officers never stayed long because earnings were scraping the bottom of the barrel. Those serving to protect often left within a year, moving to the bigger cities where wages were higher, leaving Federal shorthanded.

"Thanks." Colby ran his hand through his thinning hair. "Deputy Jay Williams will be overseeing crowd control and safety during the hours Silver Girls open their doors starting Wednesday. Nothing changes, except the officer patrolling the crowd. Until Deputy Williams gets used to the town and people, we thought it'd be best if he gets to know the familiar faces of the miners and people who frequent the establishments in town."

Tiff fiddled with the edge of her shirt. "Okay, thanks for letting— "

"What's the deal?" Jeremy walked over and stood by her. "He doesn't need to babysit the customers at Silver Girls. Bantorus Motorcycle Club and Moroad Motorcycle Club always have men here watching out. It's been that way for almost twenty years. There's a reason you would choose someone new to shadow Silver Girls during business hours."

Sheriff Colby's mouth firmed. "You're right. Deputy Williams came to us on a lateral transfer case after an arbitrator cut a deal with the internal investigator working on his case. He's on probation until he's had some time in with our department and will be covering the low-risk jobs issued by the county."

Jeremy widened his stance. "What's his record?"

"I'm not going to discuss that with you. He was hired on with Silver Valley Sheriff's Department, and is a vital part of our team." Colby slipped his hat back on his head and turned toward Tiff. "If you have any problems, you know how to contact me."

She nodded and reached for Jeremy's hand. When Sheriff Colby pulled away and drove down the street, she turned to Jeremy. "What did all that mean?"

"I'll find out." He walked her over to his bike. "I'll have Bear run a background check on Jay Williams and have an answer for you when I get back."

Jeremy reached into the pouch attached to his bike and removed a can of chew. Tiff tilted her head surprised to see Jeremy pinch and dip.

He used his tongue to position the wad and briefly closed his eyes before grinning at her around a lipful. "Best damn taste in the world, not counting your pussy."

She laughed, remembering him saying the same thing years ago. "Brush your teeth before you come up to the suite later."

"Yeah?" He tagged the front of her shirt and pulled her into him. "Kiss me."

She wrinkled her nose. "That does nothing for me."

His brow cocked. "Try it."

"Keep your mouth closed." She rolled up to her tiptoes and pecked his mouth.

He wrapped his arm around her back, pulled her in, and opened his mouth, rubbing his lips against hers. She groaned, turning her head, and breaking the kiss. The bitterness of the chew tainted her lips. "That wasn't funny."

"Good?" His dark eyes lit with amusement.

"No." She laughed, rubbing her forearm across her lower face. "Get out of here, and hurry back."

He threw his leg over his motorcycle and slipped on his sunglasses. "You going to miss me?"

"No." She stood grinning on the curb. "Absolutely not."

He started the bike and over the roar he said, "You're going to miss me, baby."

Her rebuttal got lost in the noise of him riding away. She turned, shaking her head, and went back inside. He'd succeeded in putting her in a better mood, and she had the wild urge to get ready for his return.

J
eremy passed Cam and Bear on the Old River Road out of town on his way back to the Sterling Building. He held out his arm and made a circle, and then watched his dad and MC brother perform a U-turn in the road and follow him into town. He'd split before the party started at the motel to return to Tiff, and hoped his dad had the information he wanted before the day was over.