Chasing Paradise (Chasing Series #3) (11 page)

“
Are you?”

I nodded, trying to convince him that I was. “Yeah, of course I am. Abby was crazy about you and I’m glad you two finally got together.” My words sounded hollow, even to my ears.

“
Guess, that’s that.”

I suppose it was. For the entire time we had lunch, we barely spoke more than a few words to each other. I was in love with Blake, but a part of me was saddened to let go of Kyle. I thought I was prepared for this day to come; however I’d thought wrong.

After lunch, we strolled in a strained manner towards Blake’s flat, each of us busy with our own thoughts. I hugged him, forcing myself not to cry. “Take care, babe.”

“
You know I’ll always love you, right? No one gets to take your place in here, Si.” Kyle placed my hand on his heart. “I love you, Sienna.” He kissed my forehead before he made me look into those eyes I had grown to trust at a young age. The same eyes that had protected me from a lot of bad things were now full of pain. “Be happy for the both us. Follow your dreams and I will be right there along with you.” Waterworks didn’t have anything on me then. I was a mess of hiccups and balling my heart out.

“
I’ll see you before I leave in a couple weeks, okay?” Kyle held me while I clung onto him, afraid of letting him go. “Blake is a good man. I wouldn’t let another man have you if I knew he wasn’t worthy of being with you. Always remember I’m a phone call away and I’ll be with you in a heartbeat.” He kissed my forehead one more time before he slowly untangled himself and walked away.

I watched him amble away with his head downcast as I felt an intense tightening in my gut for letting my first love go. I barely noticed when Gareth ushered me inside the building and into an elevator. Once I got off it, I was still hysterical when I ran into the bathroom and locked myself in there for quite sometime.

Everything from my past rushed through my head. Saying goodbye to someone that had been significant throughout my life was painful. Without Kyle, I would’ve probably been dead by now. He’d saved me in more ways than one.

My crying binge came to an abrupt halt when a knock on my door interrupted me. “Miss Sienna? Mr. Knightly wants to speak to you. He called my phone after he had unsuccessfully tried yours,” Gareth spoke from the other side of the door, knowing quite well what I was doing in there.

Reluctantly, I opened the door a wee crack, just enough for him to insert the phone and hand it to me without his being able to look at my dreadful, tear-streaked face.

“
Hello?”

“
You’re still crying,” Blake noted, sounding disappointed somehow.

Huh? What the hell! “How’d you know?” I tried to sound normal, trying not to panic.

I could hear him thinking, calculating as to how he’d break it down to me. “You forget about the security team, cara.”

Well, there you go.
WTF!
“You saw
the
whole thing
?” This was not good.

There was a long stretch of silence before he spoke again. “I did. I thought at one point you were going to go with him. You love him and I just saw how much.” He sounded raw, hurting.

I didn’t know what to say so I kept my mouth shut.

Blake broke into my thoughts again. “Is there a possibility of you leaving me, Sienna?”

Seriously? We were engaged! “No, Blake. I accepted your ring. I’m wearing it. Why are you second guessing?”

“
That scene I saw moments ago tore me up.” Blake’s breathing was haggard as if he was running out of patience. “I knew, but it’s rather painful to see it clearly. I have to accept a small part of you will always love him. That small percentage is a risk, but it’s one I’m willing to put my entire life on.”

Abby and Kyle. Fuck. “I said my goodbyes. I’m just mourning my loss. I’m in pain, too.”

“
I know,” he whispered.

“
I love you, Blake.” I sobbed into the phone. “I do love you so much.”

“
Yeah, that’s why you’re in so much pain,” Blake growled, his bitterness no longer masked.

His indignant tone grated on me the wrong way. “What the fuck do you want from me? I’ve given up a lot for you! WHAT MORE DO YOU ASK OF ME?”

“
EVERYTHING!” he hissed, making my ear ring. “I want everything!”

Consumed by his anger—by my broken spirit—I hung up on him. Even in mourning my loss, Blake wouldn’t let up.

Sometimes, too much wasn’t healthy and his overbearing attitude had just become too much.

That night, I ended up going back to my flat in Covent Garden. Maybe I simply needed space and wanted to be surrounded by everything that I held dear in my heart.

I suppose, I needed a small piece of normalcy. I hadn’t had it since I’d had the accident and it was time I took that back.

Twelve

Blake

“
Damn it to hell and back!” I screamed into the office when the infuriating woman hung up on me.

I wanted to punch or thrash something. Why did I have the need to possess all of her? Wasn’t it enough that she was going to marry me? Sienna chose me, not Matthews… I was relieved that Kyle was doing the right thing by walking away, but seeing Sienna’s tearful face, that sadness that had been etched in her eyes, was something else.

My plans of wrapping things up a week early were immediately down the drain. That week could be used productively and on top of that, I needed the time to come to terms with all the emotions running riot in me before I faced Sienna again.

Feeling like a complete arse, I composed myself before Luke appeared and informed me that the meeting was about to start. While I attempted to focus on what the meeting was going to be about, it continued to be rather difficult to put Sienna out of my mind completely. For two hours, I kept checking my phone for messages or missed calls, however none came. Not from her anyway.

The meeting went fine, although my mood took a nosedive when I opened my phone and noticed that I’d received a message from Gareth. There was never a message that came from him that was ever any good.

Miss Sienna is staying the night at her flat in Covent Garden
.

What else could go wrong in my life? Nothing was right and, for the life of me, I was bloody well exhausted.

I decided that Hell was out to get me when Sienna’s phone went to voicemail. Dejectedly, I waited until it beeped so I could leave her a line or two. “Hey, I’m sorry for losing my temper earlier.” I paused. “I apologize for being such a blasted jealous arse, too.” Sighing, I continued, “I miss you.” Shoving my phone on the table, I pressed on my temples, stressed out about everything that was going on around me.

“
Maledizione!
” I cursed a few more times before I stopped and pinched the bridge of my nose. Then, reaching for the carafe, I poured myself a hefty drink while the other hand loosened my tie.

“
Mr. Knightly, sir.” A knock made me spin around and face Luke’s junior assistant in Rio and Sao Paolo, Adriana.

“
Yes?” I threw her an irritated glare before I gulped down the entire contents of the amber liquid that burned my throat.

Adriana cleared her throat before she stepped forward and stood a few inches away from me. “I’m here to remind you that Mr. Rochas is expecting you tonight in his home. I will be escorting you since Luke left for New York an hour ago.”

Right, tonight’s engagement. It had completely left my mind amongst a few other things. “How much time do I have until I’m supposed to leave?” I studied her expressionless face before I filled my second glass.

Adriana glanced at the amount of alcohol I had in my glass before reverting back to me. “An hour and a half. Do you want me to ring for your driver, sir?”

“
As soon as possible. Take one of the drivers with you as well. I’ll meet you in the hotel lobby in an hour’s time,” I muttered before I annihilated the burning liquid.

Tonight was going to drag. I could already feel what kind of headache it’d be.

Three hours later, I was more than pleased when I was proven wrong. Rochas had thrown an impressive party for thirty or so business associates. We were on his beach property where we had been provided excellent delicacies, outstanding, skimpy-clad waitresses and exceptional Cuban cigars.

Adriana leaned closer, whispering into my ear, “I’m glad you’re starting to enjoy the night, Mr. Knightly. You work too hard. It’s good to see you relax.”

I glanced at her sideways. “I wasn’t being a grump all day, was I?” I get so consumed sometimes by my worry for Sienna that I forget my manners most days. It was not what I wanted to achieve, most especially with the people who’d dedicated their working lives to me.

“
A little, but it’s okay. You’re the boss. You’re allowed to be a grump.” Adriana laughed, blushing as she admitted the truth.

“
Well, I give you permission to remind me when I’m being one. My personal life shouldn’t be dragged into the business arena.” Grandfather would be aghast if he knew. I needed to get my act together.

Adriana raised her brow, challenging. “You sure about that? As long as you promise not to fire me after, then I would be more than willing to do that.”

I gave a hearty laugh. Goodness, I wasn’t about to fire her when she was quite excellent at what she did. Her frankness had actually made me think that, since Luke was working his way up to a promotion, Adriana could be a great candidate for the next main assistant.

Thirteen

Sienna

A few days later, I got a text from Blake asking if I wanted to have dinner given that he would be in town that evening. Of course I responded that I was going to meet him; even if our relationship had been strained as of late, I wouldn’t hesitate to have a chance to see him.

It was my fault that things were strained. I knew that, although Blake had been a little more distant than normal. Neither did it help that he’d been trotting around with that Brazilian babe as his assistant, nor their easy relationship I had witnessed when I video called him one time.

By six, I was beyond ready to see Blake. I even took extra time and effort to look sexy for him. I knew he enjoyed my back, so I specifically wore a dress that didn’t have one. When I got a text from him, telling me that dinner was about to be cancelled, my imagination ran riot.