Chasing Paradise (Chasing Series #3) (17 page)

Jealousy was a horrid thing. “
So you’re not going to do shit about it?
” I pressed on.

His nose flared, standing his ground. “No, Sienna. I won’t.”

I yanked my arm of his hold, belligerent. “Fine! Fucking fine!” I spat at him, before walking towards the direction where Adriana took earlier, scouring the place that was surrounded with people celebrating the new nuptials.

Yeah, I was crazy, but I needed to resolve this tonight. I wasn’t going to let it go, I knew as much. Spotting Adriana leaning against the patio doors, watching the fountain lights changed into different colors before I stopped right next to her.

My intentions were for me to calmly discuss this rationally like adults, as civilly as possible. But that intention went out the window the second I opened my mouth. “You want him.”

Adriana darted me a knowing look, before glancing back to what she was staring at before I got here. “I do.” She paused, unwavering. “Give it a few more months and I think he will too.” She let the words sink into me, before adding more barbs. “I’m not trying to be mean or anything, but you two don’t spend that much time together, and from what I can see, your relationship is strained—awkward even.” She sounded thoughtful, like she knew Blake, me—us as a couple. “I believe your engagement ring is for show. But I think the second they catch the people who caused you harm, he’ll leave. I think he’s blaming himself for that accident, but take that out of the picture,
what else do you two have?
” Adriana glanced at me, making sure I understood what she meant. “The love has come and gone…everyone can attest to that.”

Everyone? Pure utter bull. “First off. Fuck. You.” I spat at her, losing it. “Second, your just his assistant. What the hell do you know about my relationship with Blake? You don’t know shit!”

Adriana looked at me with sorry in her eyes—not for what she said, but at me—she thought I was pathetic. “I may just be his assistant, but I’m with him all hours of the day. He
talks
to me. Blake
laughs
with me. He
jokes
with me. Not once did I see him smile with you. Doesn’t that tell you something?” She shook her head, as if I should know these things already. That Blake was slowly moving on without me—to her.

I wasn’t going to lie because her words hurt. Knowing quite well that it was somewhat true, Blake was different. As much as I wanted things to be the same, they weren’t anymore. “He loves me.” I said the words, but somehow not sure if they were true anymore.

Adriana caught on me. “Maybe, he probably still does, but the passion is not there anymore. Do you know how difficult his life is? Do you have any idea?
No?
Of course you don’t. Because you never cared or bothered. All you care about is your damn life. Blake already has a lot on his plate. Add more of your drama and he’s a walking exhaustion.” Adriana spun on she side, focusing on me now. “
Don’t you see?
You’re toxic. You need to get out of his life and let him be. He’s miserable with you.” Adriana shook her head, disgusted. “You need to set him free. You’re not good for him. Everyone thinks so. Everyone thinks that he would’ve been better off with that Camilla woman. Basically, anyone but you.” She looked me up and down, before leaving me, speechless and in shambles.

I made Blake miserable? I did, I knew too, which made it so much worse. I didn’t know how long I stood there, but when I went to go look for Blake, I saw him engaging in a avid conversation with her. I smiled through my tears, somehow seeing what Adriana pointed out—she was right.

I knew somewhere, security was watching me like a hawk because Gareth had a family emergency, I didn’t have any second choice but concede with the security detail. Seeking our driver, I directed him to the airstrip where Blake’s jet and pilots were waiting to take us back to Marbella. I made an excuse of not feeling well and that they should head back out to Madrid the second we landed in Marbella.

Blake’s people worked efficiently, and an hour later, we landed in Marbella, a chauffeured car awaited for my arrival. Thanking the pilots and both stewardesses, I strode towards the car, wanting to go back to the house and send out the paperwork needed by my conservator.

When I finally got to his villa, I darted out and raced towards his office. Signed and dated, I faxed the paperwork back before I took hold of the most expensive cognac in my hand and guzzled it like it was water.

Still in my designer silk gown, I gathered the ends of it, barefoot with the bottle of alcohol and my phone in the other, before I descended the stairs towards the beach.

The last time I was here, I was hopeful. Now, I stood here, with no hope at all. Tears flowed freely before I took gulps from the bottle.

The need to talk to someone was killing me. Folding, I tried calling Lucy but she was not picking up. I tried Chad’s phone, but it went straight to voicemail.

So, that left me with one person.

Smiling sadly, I was going to lose it if he didn’t pick up my call.

“
Hey—Si. What’s up?” Kyle greeted me on the other end, sounding off.

Hearing his voice didn’t send any relief to my troubled mind. “Kyle…were still friends right? I can still call you and talk, right?” my voice shook as I asked him the questions.

Kyle knew me too well. He wouldn’t tell me to fuck off even if his guts were screaming for him to. “Of course. Why would you even question that? It’s a given.”

Maybe if I spilled, he’ll make them go away. Kyle used to make them go away. “I don’t feel all that great—I thought I was fine, but I was pretending.” I swallowed my tears, not wanting them free. “Someone wants me dead. The accident I told you about in LA were premeditated. I got more hints to scare me away.”

“
Fuck! Is there any investigation going on? Shit, I’m sure Blake is doing everything in his power to catch them. Don’t worry.” Kyle conceded, convincing himself that Blake got it under control.

If only that was my real problem. “He is—but what if I just disappear? Wouldn’t that be for the best?”

Kyle became quiet in the other line. “Don’t. You. Dare. Pull anything stupid, Sienna. This is not like what happened with the Brown’s. Don’t even fucking go there.” He was now screaming into my ear, but I was numb from the alcohol.

I couldn’t feel anything, other than my heart, beating life, breathing death. “It sort of is. I’m a fuck-up. I’m fucked in the head. The Brown’s did a good job in fucking me even though they’re not part of my life.”

Kyle was now perking up, knowing me too well. He was my best friend for years. I didn’t have to tell him anything. He just knew. “Sienna—where are you?”

His question registered in my mind as I looked around the darkened beach, the sky dark with angry looking clouds, indicating that rain was upon the horizon. Large boulders were close by, so I slowly strolled to it. “Somewhere dark…” I looked down at my toes, the soft wave caressed it, before I let go of my silk dress, letting it soak in the water. “I think I have had enough.” I choked out. “I miss dad.”

My dad would know how to make me feel better. I was drowning and there was no way to stop it.

“
Sienna…please. You have people that care for you.” Kyle reasoned. “You have Blake that loves you more than anything.” He paused, choked up. “I love you, Si.”

“
I love you too, Kyle.” Feeling the loss of him great, but losing Blake was much more profound. “I’ll speak to you soon, okay?”

“
Sienna—no! Don’t hang up!” Kyle screeched, but I ended it anyway, before throwing it out in the sand.

I wanted to get drunk and float away…maybe if I die then things will be much better off for me.

The fresh sprinkle of rain was welcomed by my teary face, as I closed my eyes, feeling it kiss my face. It may be raining, but I felt the sun on me, drawing me towards it.

Rain. It reminded me so much of my childhood. My father used to tell me stories when it used to rain. I felt my father with me. Right now. Surrounding me with comfort, wrapping me with love.

My dreams had their purpose.

They were glimpses of my death.

Rain. Water. The vast sea ahead of me, awaited my arrival. So, I went out and basked into the rainstorm, wanting to wash away my

Twenty-one

Blake

“
Knightly,” I distractedly said through my phone as Adriana kept on pushing the idea of twenty questions at me. True, I was drunk, but not so drunk as to pour secrets out to my assistant.

“
It’s Kyle Matthews—”

I turned red-hot in a flash. Where in the bloody fuck did this cretin come off? “Leave. Us. Alone.”

“
I second that!” Adriana chirped next to me.

My sharp, penetrating glance made her shut up.

“
You’re with another woman?
You fucking left Sienna for another woman?
” Kyle was yelling into my ear. “Had I known I was leaving her to her death, I would have never left England! Tell me where the fuck she is and I’ll get someone else to help her!”

Help who? My drunken self registered before I stood up and strolled somewhere private. “You should’ve left us alone long ago! But you’re a bloody prick that needed to snake your way in and shag her!” The memories were flooding back to me; the betrayal now fresh in my mind.

“
You’re such an arrogant, self-entitled, pompous asshole! You should be thankful that she chose you or that I didn’t get her pregnant!” Kyle drilled into me, unleashing something dangerous. “Keep entertaining that woman you’re with. I’m coming to get Sienna. This time, I’m not letting you come near her again. I thought you would be good for her, but all you ever do is fucking play around. If something bad has happened to her, I’m going to hunt your ass down, Knightly! I swear to God, I’m going to kill you myself!”

“
What the bloody hell are you on about? Sienna is okay! She’s around this party somewhere!” I yelled into my phone, pulling my hair out as I looked around for Sienna.

“
She fucking isn’t! Her conservator just emailed me expressing concern that she changed her will. She’s going to donate everything to orphaned children. She just faxed it an hour and half ago. Sienna hung up on me an hour after. Now her phone is shut off.” Kyle sounded like he was breathing heavily. “She told me she missed her father.”

Nothing was making sense. “And?” I grated out as I marched towards the entrance, my mind running through a million things as I tried to figure things out.

“
The last time she told me that, she attempted to kill herself. That was when she was ten-years-old.”

The words felt like boulders sitting atop my chest, I needed to get to Sienna. “I’m going to her now. I’ll have her call you.” I cut the call immediately, almost running, looking for her.

When I found Edward, the head of the security team, he informed me that they hadn’t seen Sienna in a while, and I was ready to kill the bastard. “How can you be a security detail if you do not know where my fiancée is?” When he didn’t utter a damn word, I held him by the collar, pushing him against the bloody vehicle. “You better get your arse moving and get all the needed information before I have you all killed. You’re incompetence is a disgrace!”

My relief was evident when one of the waiters came to me and asked if I was looking for a crying, beautiful woman. He described her in great detail before he told me that he had overheard her tell her driver that she was going to head to the airport. Barely thanking the man, I barked at Edward and his team to get me to the airport. The information about Sienna having left with the jet made me feel dreadful.