Chasing Shadows (24 page)

“You’re in a friggin band!”

He laughs now. “Condition hasn’t exactly hit
the top forty.”

“Ahh... Fuck.” I say hitting him hard but not
too hard in the chest.

Qasim runs his hands up and down my hips. “We
could fool around.” He offers helpfully. “It’s not a great idea to
go all the way on a first date anyway.”

“Holy hell.” I mean, is everyone in my life
going to turn out to be the fucking moral police? Then again if I’m
such a jezebel, why don’t I carry protection?

Qasim lifts my chin up with his right hand and
plants a sweet sort of kiss on my mouth. “You’ll leave happy.” He
promises me.

I sigh and stick my tongue in his mouth putting
both my hands into his hair, which he had the good sense to wear
down. It doesn’t take long at all to forget about the pizza. We do
that awkward but fun make-out-and-walk thing down the hall to
Qasim’s bedroom. Once we’re there he leaves off sucking my face for
a minute to turn on the space heater. I smile and sit on the bed to
unlace my boots. I’m still trying to get my socks off, when Qasim
hops up on the bed and crawls over to me. He throws his arms over
my shoulders and begins to grope my breasts while leaning his face
down to kiss my neck. I sigh and lean back against him. He thrusts
his hips forward and I half turn, reaching back awkwardly to feel
between his legs. This is not a successful angle. I giggle and he
laughs low and breathy. I turn all the way to him now, pushing
against his chest so he backs up to give me room on the bed. We’re
both still fully clothed and I’m thinking ahead to how stilted its
going to be to remove jeans and leggings once we’re all tangled up.
Oh and my feet are cold already.

Qasim doesn’t seem anywhere near as distracted
as I am. I reach over and undo his jeans. He pulls my head up to
his and we’re sucking face again. I fool with the fabric 'til his
cock’s exposed to the air. Still with my tongue in his mouth I turn
a little to catch a look at it. I like to know what I’m working
with. Shit. That looks intimidating. I’m sure that whole thing’s
not going to fit in my mouth, which is kind of what I’d been
planning on. Oh well. What would Kelly Morgan do? I happen to have
just learned what Kelly would do and I don’t think I’m that
flexible. I laugh at my thought which it turns out is the wrong
thing to do.

Qasim pulls back. “What?” He seems ready to be
offended.

I shake my head. “I was just thinking that that
whole thing will never fit in my mouth.”

Home run. Qasim grins. “Don’t worry, I’m going
to do you first anyway.”

My eyes pop open and now I’m grinning. I start
to unbutton his shirt but he stops me my lifting my sweater back
over my head. He reaches around to unlatch my bra and I throw my
head back, enjoying the tickle of my hair on my shoulder blades.
Qasim groans and positions me onto my back. He reaches for the
button of my jeans and opens it. As he starts to pull them down he
is forced to notice my brand new neon pink leggings. He
laughs.

“What?” I say imitating his offended tone from
before.

“That’s some color.” He smiles.

I shrug. “It’s cold out. It’s cold in here
actually.”

Qasim stands up. “Let’s get under the
covers.”

“Okay.” I hop up and have to stop for a minute
while the man insists on helping with the leggings. I think it must
be something akin to peeling two pink bananas but he seems into it.
I’m glad I’m wearing nice underwear. I smile and return the favor.
We’ll call it the disrobe assist, totally unnecessary but fun.
Qasim still looks shockingly thin to me, but his skin is smooth and
warm. He has nice legs. I hop into his bed beneath the covers and
he wriggles in to join me.

Now that we’re nice and cozy and naked, making
out is that much more fun. I run my fingers over his back and hips.
I hit the spot where the leg meets the torso, the one that makes
that nice little crease above jeans. He shivers while I’m touching
him which is totally nice. Qasim pulls the covers up over our
heads. Now we’re in a warm blanket tent. He moves down to my
breasts and seems, for all intents and purposes, to be ready to
camp there all night.

I smile and let my thoughts wander. So Kelly
was engaged. Did Kevin find out about her adventurous proclivities?
Was he angry? Is that why she came to Chicago? Was she planning on
moving here, or was it just a vacation? I suppose I should check
somehow to see if she made it home. I mean all this time I’ve been
assuming the Kelly Morgan is a missing person. I haven’t even
Googled her. What if my doppelganger is alive and well somewhere in
Florida?

My thoughts are dramatically interrupted when
Qasim moves his hand down to my clit. Oh my God. I’m pretty sure I
just whimpered. Is that embarrassing or... never mind. Fuck. Now
he’s biting my left nipple. I usually hate that. Holy shit. I feel
my legs open like a hard backed book set on its spine. My eyes
close. Oh fuck.

“I want you.” I say, but that’s dumb because
it’s pretty obvious. My fingernails dig into his ribs. I feel Qasim
smile into my breast. Now there’s a great shifting of the covers
and his head is not in my arms any more. It’s way down there
between my legs. Holy shit. And he’s good at it too. My arms and
legs engage in a series of twists and squirms that I take no
responsibility for. It doesn’t take me long. I orgasm once, then
again. He’s still going. I’m not distracted anymore. “I want you
inside me.” Whoa! Why do I say things like that? Fortunately he
doesn’t take me literally. He lifts his head and switches to using
his hands. Man, I told you he had long fingers. Fuck. This goes on
for some time. Literally, he continues until I push him away. I’m
sore. He’s smiling.

“Wanted to make sure you were set.”

I sigh and smile dreamily. Now it’s his turn.
The details of giving head bore me. It’s almost meditative, except
for that ache in my jaw. I try to mix it up so I don’t get
arthritis of the mouth. This is not to say I don’t enjoy it, just
that it always lasts longer than I feel it needs to. But hey, he
did me a solid, so I got this shit. While I’m busy down here he
makes some interesting noises which I find extremely gratifying. I
hate sucking on a guy who’s completely silent. Makes me feel like
I’m not doing a good job. I have no idea how long this goes on. On
a side note, oral sex is one of the reasons I don’t wear a watch.
It’s so tempting to time yourself, and this is one activity where
you really don’t want to be aware of the time. I involve my hands,
get creative, vary rhythm and technique until eventually he
says,

“
I’m coming.” Thank God, he gave me
notice. I back up off that thing like it’s gonna bite. He climaxes,
it’s messy and I crawl back up to lie beside him. Qasim wraps me up
in his arms and buries his head in my neck.

I smile some more. This is sweet. “I’m
hungry.”

Qasim laughs and cups my boob in his hand. I
arch my back. He sighs happily. “It’s hot in here.”

I flip the covers back so we can see the room.
The space heater has had time to do its thing. “Yeah, it’s not bad.
So do you just have space heaters or what?”

He shakes his head and kisses my shoulder.
“There’s central heat, but it’s expensive so I keep it real low and
just run the space heater when I sleep.” He’s cheap about some
things, good, I like that. I play with his hair, massaging his
scalp a little. He pulls his head up to look at me. “You
are
going to see me again right?”

I blink wide. “Yeah, I think so.”

He sighs. “Good.”

Hmm, now he has me worried. Do I
want
to
see him again? Hard to say. I think I like him. I think I like him
a lot, but I’m kind of easily confused lately. “Qasim, honey, I’ve
gotta pee.”

He smiles. ”You’ll want to put you’re clothes
back on. It won’t be this warm out there.”

“Okay thanks.” I kiss his cheek before I get
up. “And I’m hungry so I’m going to attack that pizza
after.”

He nods, still smiling. “I’ll bring it in here
where it’s warm.”

“K.” I’m glowing like a light bulb. I’m sure I
look goofy but then so does he, it’s nice. He was right. It is
colder out here. I use the facility and saunter back into the
bedroom to find Qasim dressed and cross legged on the bed with the
pizza box open in front of him. There are a couple of cokes sitting
on the end table. I crawl into bed and lift out a slice. It’s not
hot, but it’s not icy.

“So what have we learned?” I ask. He laughs
with his mouth full and so do I. “Pizza’s good. What time is
it?”

Qasim leans back to dig his phone out of his
pocket. I stare at him. He’s graceful, all fluid limbs and easy
length. “11:15.”

“You work in the morning, right?”

He nods. “Need to be up by 8.”

“That’s not bad, I guess.” I stretch my leg out
towards him and he surprises me by setting down his slice of pizza
and beginning to rub my foot. I groan. “That’s
wonderful.”

He smiles. “When do I see you
again?”

I shrug. “I don’t know. When do you want
to?”

“When do you work?”

I sigh. I hate saying it. “I’m on leave without
pay.”

His eyes bug out. “Really? Why?”

“There was a book in my bag that wasn’t mine,
but I didn’t put it there. I think someone thought it’d be funny to
get me in trouble.” A weird look crosses his face. I think he
doesn’t believe me. “Look.” I say. “They’ll review the tapes and
see I didn’t do it.”

He shrugs. “So you’re schedule’s pretty open
then?”

I laugh. “I guess so. Tomorrow I’m going to try
and talk to Mads’ sister.”

His left eyebrow cocks. It’s a good expression
on him. “So you’re not Mads then?”

I shake my head. Wow. I forgot how much I
didn’t tell him. “I might be Kelly, but I don’t know yet. Mads is
dead.”

Qasim nods. “The article in the
paper.”

“Yup.”

He looks into my eyes. “Do
you
think
you’re Kelly?”

I take another bite and chew it thoroughly,
swallowing before I answer. “I kind of hope not, but there’ve been
some people who thought I was.”

“I don’t think you are.” He says gravely, as if
that means something.

I scoff. “You know me less than
I
do. I
could be anybody. Hey that reminds me kind of, Doug made a big deal
about you liking me. He said you wrote songs about it. Is that
true? Because I kind of thought he was just being
dramatic.”

Qasim looks away. “It’s true.” He says
quietly.

I’m not sure how I feel about that. I poke him
with my toe. “We don’t really know each other.” I say.

He looks up at me with those dark, dark eyes.
“I know.” He seems to be waiting for me to shoot him down, which I
admit does cross my mind.

Instead I say. “I’m almost certain to
disappoint you if you build me up too high.” He just keeps looking
at me. He doesn’t say anything but then what would
I
say to
that? I change the subject. “Hey. Can I leave the letters here 'til
next time? I don’t really want to carry them home on the
El.”

Qasim smiles. “Sure. I could read them for you,
take notes and stuff.”

“You could be my porn secretary!” I chirp. He
laughs. “Seriously though, if you wanted to do that, it would help.
Then you can tell me what you find out, and show me the good parts
when we get together again... at which point I’m truly hoping you
will have purchased some prophylactics.”

Qasim grins wide. His teeth are nice. “We’ll
have to actually go out next time.”

I bat my eyes. “This wasn’t fun?”

“Oh it was fun, but I’d like to actually know
you, even if it’s just so you can’t throw it in my face that I
don’t.”

I sense some bitterness under that statement. I
decide to ignore it. I rise to my knees and climb carefully over
the pizza and onto his lap. “Okay. We’ll meet at a public location
and do whatever it is we’re going to do first, so it doesn’t
dissolve into mad, mad sex too quickly.”

Qasim wraps his arms around me and leans his
head on my shoulder. “Cool. What day?”

“You’re off weekends?”

I feel him nod. “Yeah.”

“How about Friday or Saturday?” I rub his back
lightly.

“How about Friday
and
Saturday?”

“Hmm... Friday
through
Saturday?”

He looks up and grins. “Yeah. Bring your
toothbrush.”

Chapter Eleven

I'm running fast, but I'm not winded and I'm
not afraid of anything. It's a warm, warm night. The wind tears at
my hair. It feels so good. I can see the stars. They pop in the
sky, celestial sequins. The air smells sweet like springtime. I
run. My feet slap on the pavement. I'm not sure what I'm wearing. I
don't look down. It doesn't matter, whatever it is, it's thin. Hot
air rushes past my breasts. I feel the wind on my abdomen,
heavenly. I don't remember ever feeling this good. There's water to
my right, endless black waves rolling in. They shine and glimmer in
the starlight. Their lap, lap, lapping sound matches the slap,
slap, slapping of my feet. I look to my right to see the shinning
face of a girl. I'm not surprised. I think I was expecting her. She
looks just like me. She's running too. This strikes me as
absolutely amazing and wonderful. I smile at her. She beams back at
me. She's naked and her eyes are glowing. I think she might be a
star come down from the sky. We run together. I keep looking over
at her. She has such a serene expression. Her breasts flop with her
stride just like mine do. They look luminous. We are on a foot
path. Suddenly I realize I recognize the place but it doesn't seem
very important.