Authors: S.H. Kolee
"We're going to swing by Caitlin's aunt's house."
Mrs. Crewe frowned, looking displeased. "Is that a good idea? After everything that's happened there? Isn't it considered a crime scene now?"
"Even if we can't go inside, I'd still like to see it. I'm more concerned about my missing aunt than with what happened with Claudia." I felt discomfited by her disapproval. Even though Mrs. Crewe was warm and friendly, I never liked displeasing a parent. It was a result from continually being on the receiving end of my father's tirades.
Instead of getting angry, Mrs. Crewe grimaced sympathetically. "I understand. It must be so hard to not know where your aunt is."
I nodded, picking up the rest of my sandwich. My appetite had vanished but it was something to do. I was afraid that if we continued talking about my aunt, I would start crying.
Mrs. Crewe spent the rest of lunch asking us about school in general, in addition to Kendra's visit to Maxwell, wanting to ensure that her daughter had behaved.
"We'll be back in a little bit," Simon said as he stood and took my empty plate, stacking it on top of his own.
"I'll get that." Mrs. Crewe reached for the plates and stood. "Just make sure to be home in time for dinner at eight. We'll be eating late since your father has a late meeting."
"No problem." Simon grabbed my hand as I thanked Mrs. Crewe for lunch.
"Wait here," Simon said when we reached the foyer. "I just want to put our bags upstairs."
I nodded, waiting patiently while Simon ran up the stairs with our suitcases as if they weighed nothing. He was just gone a few minutes but my heart surged when I caught sight of him coming back down the stairs. He still made my pulse quicken every time I looked at him. He was so gorgeous and masculine and all mine. It was hard to process sometimes. Between vardogers and Simon, it was a wonder that I hadn't had a heart attack yet.
Simon grabbed my hand when he reached the bottom of the stairs. "Let's go."
The drive to my aunt's house was quick, almost too quick. I felt like I needed more time to prepare myself for seeing her house again. It was filled with so many ugly memories, but the hardest part was imagining what possibly could have happened to my aunt that night I gripped the phone and heard her scream on the other end.
Simon pulled up in the front of the house and cut the engine. The house looked so eerily normal, with no outward sign of the horror that had happened inside.
"Ready?"
I took a deep breath. "As ready as I'll ever be."
We got out of the car and walked to the front door. I mentally prepared myself before twisting the doorknob. A mixture of relief and disappointment flowed through me when I found that the door was locked. A part of me badly wanted to go inside, but another part of me was afraid of what I might find.
"I guess I should have expected this. I don't know why I thought I could waltz right in. The police must have locked it."
Simon rubbed the back of my neck, trying to release some of my tension. "At least we tried."
I bit my lip, thinking back to when I had shimmied through the basement window with Lenore. "There might be another way."
I walked to the side of the house and bent down in front of the window. I wasn't sure if I was glad when I was able to push it open, but Simon let his feelings be known loud and clear.
"No. You are
not
going in through that window."
"Simon, I've done it before. It's no big deal." I looked up at Simon, assessing his body. "You're way too big to fit, so I'll just climb in and open the front door for you."
Simon grabbed my hand as I kneeled and started to push one leg through the opening. "Are you crazy? This is breaking and entering."
"Technically, I'm not breaking anything. So I'm just entering."
"Caitlin." Simon said my name with exasperation.
"Simon, it's no big deal. Please. I need to go inside. I don't know why, but I just have this feeling that there's something in there I need to see."
Simon sighed but I could tell I had won by the slump of his shoulders. "Just be careful. The last thing you need is to bump your head again."
I carefully lowered myself through the window and onto the table below it, my head the last part of my body to slip inside. It was dim in the basement even though it was still light outside.
"Caitlin, are you okay?" Simon's voice sounded distant.
"I'm fine. I'll go upstairs and unlock the front door."
I jumped down from the table, coughing as I breathed in dust. I quickly made my way up the stairs, pausing for the briefest second before I opened the basement door.
The air inside the house was stuffy, almost suffocating. I was drawn to the living room. It looked completely normal except for the large blood stains on the carpet. I remembered Claudia's dead eyes as her life seeped out from her. I reminded myself that the real Claudia had died long before that.
I was drawn to the blood stains like a magnet, crouching down next to them. The fear came rushing back as if I were in the moment again, on the brink of death.
I don't know how long I was huddled down on the floor, but I was startled out of my reverie by pounding on the front door.
"Caitlin, what's taking so long? Open up!"
I shook my head, trying to banish the ugly memories, and stood, walking quickly to the front door. I unlocked it and Simon practically shoved his way in.
"What took so long?"
"Sorry. I was just...remembering."
Simon held my hand and we walked back into the living room. I let him guide me onto the sofa and I just sat there, thoughts crowding my head. Time seemed to stand still as I waited, but I wasn't sure what I was waiting for.
"We've been sitting here for almost an hour," Simon said, breaking into my thoughts. "We should get back."
I sighed, feeling defeated. "I feel like I'm missing something. I've read my aunt's journal so many times that I practically have it memorized. I keep looking for the answers that she told me I would find there, but I don't even know what the questions are. But one question I know I need the answer to, is whether my mother is still alive."
I stood up, feeling frustration grow, and decided to search the entire house despite having gone through it meticulously before. An hour later, I accepted defeat when my search turned up nothing.
"Let's go home," Simon said softly, brushing his hand against my cheek. I pressed my lips together to try and stop them from trembling. "You're going to make yourself sick with worry. We're in Connecticut until Sunday. We can always come back. But you look like you're about to collapse right now."
I let Simon lead me outside, making sure to lock the door behind us, since I had left the window unlocked. The drive back to Simon's house was quiet, both of us lost in our thoughts.
Chapter Twenty-Four
"Simon, I can't stay in here!" We were back at his parents' house and I was aghast when Simon led me to his room, and I saw my suitcase sitting next to his bed. I had assumed that I would be sleeping in a guest room.
"Why not? My parents don't mind."
My mind rebelled against the thought of sleeping in the same bed under his parents' roof. It wasn't that I had a problem sharing a room with Simon, considering I had slept over at his apartment plenty of times. But the thought of his parents thinking we were fooling around in his room made me blush hotly.
"Because...because your parents will think we're doing stuff in here."
A smile was dancing across Simon's face. "Stuff like what?"
"You know!" Simon merely raised an eyebrow. I groaned in frustration and exclaimed, "Sexual stuff!"
Simon burst out laughing. "So what? We're both adults."
"It's just embarrassing." I sighed. "I know, I know. I think I'm stunted in the dating department. In terms of relationships, I'm still progressing through the junior high stage."
Simon wrapped his arms around me, kissing me lightly on the nose. "It's okay. I like the junior high stage." He quirked his mouth as he thought over his words. "That sounded weird. I meant I like you at any stage, not that I like junior high girls."
I laughed, hugging him back. "I know what you meant."
Simon nuzzled my ear, his breath warm against my skin. "We don't have to do anything in my parents' house that makes you uncomfortable. I just need to have you in my arms at night to know that you're safe."
I melted against Simon, his words so intoxicating that I almost felt drunk. "I love you, Simon."
Simon nipped my earlobe, sending a shudder through my body. "You're my world, Caitlin. Don't ever forget that."
I forgot about being in his parents' house when his lips met mine, coaxing my mouth open with languid sweeps of his tongue. His hands slipped under my shirt, gently brushing my sides, his thumbs grazing the bottom of my bra every time they swept up. My nipples hardened in response and my body felt like it was on fire.
"So sweet," Simon muttered against my mouth. "I can never get enough."
This time I was the one that increased the pressure, kissing him with wild abandon as our tongues mated. I whimpered when his thumbs slipped under the bottom of my bra, stroking the undersides of my breasts. I pressed my hips against his, gratified by the evidence that he was enjoying this as much as I was. I made a sound of protest when he pulled away.
Simon's eyes were dark with desire as he looked down at me, but he smiled wryly. "Any more of that and we'll never make it to dinner."
I knew at that moment that I wanted to make love to Simon more than anything in the world. It was an inopportune time since we were at his parents' house, but the need to share my body with him was overwhelming.
"Simon," I started shakily, taking a deep breath. "I know I've wanted to take things slow."
Simon nodded, lovingly caressing my face. "And I'm okay with that."
I shook my head, trying to make him understand. "But I don't want to go slow anymore."
I saw a flare of excitement in Simon's eyes but he merely asked in a steady voice, "What exactly do you mean?"
There was no turning back now, so I gathered all my courage. "I mean, I want you to make love to me."
Simon's arms around me tightened and I felt the full effect of my words on the lower half of his body. His eyes were blazing with desire but he gave me a half-smile. "You have no idea what that means to me. I want you so badly it's killing me. But I don't want the first time I make love to you to be in my parents' house. I don't want to have to worry about being quiet. I want to hear you say my name the first time I slide inside you. I want to hear you cry out when I make you come."
I gulped, his words bringing to mind an imagery that was hard to dismiss. Even though I felt the desperation to join our bodies together, I knew what he was saying made sense. The last thing I wanted was for our first time to be hampered by the fear of being overheard. Especially since it would be my first time
ever.
"You're probably right." I bit my lip, getting ready for the plunge. I didn't know why I was so nervous about telling Simon that I was a virgin. I didn't think he would think any less of me because of it. It just made me feel so painfully vulnerable. "There's one more thing you should know. It'll be my first time."
I didn't think it was possible but Simon's eyes blazed even hotter. "You mean, you've never had sex before?"
I nodded my head in affirmation, feeling myself flush. Simon crushed me in his arms, holding me so tightly I could barely breathe.
"Baby, you don't know what that means to me. To think that I'll be your first. That you're all mine." Simon trailed kisses up my neck, tracing the edge of my jaw with butterfly touches. When he looked at me, the intensity of his eyes took my breath away. "Mine," he repeatedly softly. "You belong to me. Only me."
I nodded helplessly, knowing that he was right and not caring about the triumphant gleam in his eyes. He kissed me fiercely, pressing his body against mine. I felt an overwhelming sense of elation when he murmured against my mouth, "And I belong to you."
I couldn't tell you how long we kissed, but when we broke apart we were both breathless. The corner of Simon's mouth lifted ruefully.
"As badly as I want you, your first time definitely can't be here. I want it to be special. Just be forewarned—when we get back to Rochester I'm not going to keep my hands off of you."
I giggled, my laugh sounding foreign to my ears. It sounded almost coquettish, a feeling that I was unfamiliar with.
Simon glanced down at himself and then smiled at me wryly. "We need to do something a little less arousing. Otherwise I'm going to be a little obvious at dinner."
The thought of Simon's parents seeing his state and knowing that I was the cause of it made me step back. "Good idea. Are you sure you can't fit in a cold shower before dinner?"
Simon grinned and took my hand, leading me to the couch in his room. It still amazed me how big his bedroom was, almost looking like an entire apartment except for the lack of a kitchen.
We watched TV until it was time to go downstairs. I was thankful that Simon's state of arousal had lessened by the time we stepped into the dining room.
Simon's parents and Kendra were already sitting at the table. Simon's father stood up to greet me and I was surprised when he gave me a kiss on the cheek. While he had always been polite, he had never shown me any affection.
"It's good to see you, Caitlin," he said after he stepped back.
"Thank you for having me over for Thanksgiving," I replied shyly. Simon guided me to a seat and sat down next to me.
I blanched when Mr. Crewe winked at me, taken aback by his gesture. "I have a feeling that if you didn't come here for Thanksgiving, Simon would be in Philadelphia right now."
I smiled at his sentiment. "Actually, if I wasn't here I would be at my roommate's house in Westchester. I go there for most of the holidays."
Mr. Crewe frowned at me as Maxine entered and placed platters of pot roast and potatoes on the table. "You don't spend the holidays with your father?"