Chasing the Phoenix (35 page)

“Tell me something,” Surplus said. “However did you become such close friends with the cao?”

“Oh, I convinced her that I am a simple, plainspoken peasant woman who is perhaps a little greedy but has no ambitions other than to serve the emperor well. So of course she confides in me.”

“How on earth did you ever manage to sell her such a transparently fraudulent bill of goods?”

“She believes it because it is all true,” Fire Orchid said indignantly. Then, nestling into Surplus's arms again, “Well, true enough, anyway.”

 

16.

All existence is flux and change, said the Perfect Strategist, nor is there any certainty to be found in this world, save only that all men die and that while yet they live they must pay taxes.

—
THE
SAYINGS OF THE
PERFECT
STRATEGIST

“GOOD GOD,
but there are times when I wish I could rid myself of the title of Perfect Strategist!” Darger cried.

“Yes, sir. Obviously, sir,” Capable Servant said. “Only, sir—why?”

“It brings me nothing but trouble. Every lovesick mooncalf and power-mad megalomaniac seeks out my advice. But do they come with soft words and hands overflowing with rich bribes, the way any civilized human being would? No. They come with threats and blackmail. Had they no mothers? Were they brought up in a barn? Were the inhabitants of that barn cannibals and assassins?”

“You are upset, noble master.” Capable Servant returned to polishing Darger's boots but kept his head slightly cocked to indicate that he was still listening intently.

“I am most damnably upset. In addition to all my other problems, the Hidden Emperor has formally called me into his presence, which after long exile ought to be good news. But the invitation was in the form of a written summons, hand carried to me by General Powerful Locomotive. To say nothing of its being addressed to the Perfect Strategist, Ambassador—a title given me by Ceo Shrewd Fox. This can only mean that it was issued at her behest. Which in turn implies that she thinks she has found a way of ridding herself of me, much as she would a troublesome snake that had taken up residence beneath the porch of her summer home.”

“I am certain, sir, that you are no snake. Which is, incidentally, a useful animal, for it eats rats and other vermin, so that being compared to one is actually a compliment.”

“Your confidence in me warms my heart. But it does not solve my problem.”

Capable Servant looked up, beaming. “Your boots are ready, sir. So you will look nice and spiffy for the emperor.”

Sullenly, Darger put them on.

*   *   *

AFTER THE
usual rigmarole of misdirection, up stairs and down, cross town and back, Darger's blindfold was removed, and he found himself high up on the Porcelain Pagoda of Repaid Gratitude, possibly the single most conspicuous building in South. From here he could see all of the city and the overgrown building-middens beyond. A servant opened a door, saying, “The Hidden Emperor awaits within.”

To Darger's startlement, when he entered the conference room he discovered that the Hidden Emperor was wearing a paper mask of White Squall's face. It was an image drawn, moreover, by Little Spider. He recognized her style. Like most of the Hidden Emperor's games and whimsies, it carried a hidden message: He was saying that he could effortlessly penetrate Darger's circle of friends with no one suspecting. And that he knew about Darger's affair with White Squall.

Which was useful information, for it gave Darger a line of attack.

Ceo Shrewd Fox and General Powerful Locomotive sat to either side of the Hidden Emperor. White Squall and Prince First-Born Splendor were also present but looked unlikely to speak. A plethora of lesser advisors filled the rest of the room, most of them thin-lipped and silent; nothing would be heard from any of them.

The Phoenix Bride sat directly behind the emperor, gleaming and silent.

Darger bowed respectfully but, as befit an immortal, not too deeply. “I came as you summoned to hear words which, though they will issue from your mouth, originated in Shrewd Fox's.”

“The emperor's words are law!” Powerful Locomotive snapped. “Their source does not matter.”

“It matters a great deal. Majesty, I fear for you. Your destiny hangs by a thread. If you wait a year before taking North, as the ceo counsels, you will never sit upon the Dragon Throne. That is a mathematical certainty. You trust Shrewd Fox because as a former enemy she consequently had no allies in your court. But while you were keeping close watch on your friends, she has been building alliances. As witness the fact that she spent last night in the company of Powerful Locomotive, alone in her room, doing such things as men and women do under such conditions.” Turning to Shrewd Fox, he said, “Deny it if you can.”

“I deny it,” Shrewd Fox said.

“And I!” Powerful Locomotive leaped to his feet. “Great Emperor, this is slander! I would never—”

“Silence.” The Hidden Emperor sounded bored. “Couple with her or a goat or a tree or whatever you wish. So long as your first loyalty is to me, I care nothing about your sordid affairs.” The emperor reached a hand over his shoulder and lightly brushed his fingertips against the Phoenix Bride. Then, to Darger, he said, “Here is the situation. Those Commerce troops not captured when we overtook South have withdrawn across the border to the city of Everlasting Peace. There, they are combining forces with the armies of East Mountain and South River. In sheer number, they would be a daunting enemy. But they are also ruthless, as only those who serve North can be. Ceo True Path was once ordered to destroy his birth village and did so. Ceo Nurturing Clouds has suffered no such tragedy, but only because she is so expressly merciless in action that her superiors in North have never felt the need to punish her. As for Ceo Laughing Raven … Well, he is still alive, and that says a lot.”

“I've always wanted to confront Laughing Raven on the field of battle,” Ceo Shrewd Fox said. “But not in the company of those other two. That is an honor I freely admit I am not worthy of.”

The Hidden Emperor handed a bundled sheaf of papers to an underling, who brought them to Darger's hand. “Here are the specifics of their various strengths. We cannot hope to best them by direct confrontation. It is feared that the Yellow Sea Alliance plans a direct, brutal assault upon South, hoping to destroy the city and us with it before the onset of winter.”

“It is what I would do,” General Powerful Locomotive said. “The alternative is to burn all the fields and granaries within raiding distance of the city and lay siege in the spring, after our supplies of food are depleted.”

“This they will be reluctant to do to their own country,” Shrewd Fox said. “Also, they doubtless have North leaning on them to take action.”

There were times in any argument, Darger knew, when resistance was useless. All that could be done then was to go along with whatever was happening and hope for a later change in conditions when matters could be turned to one's befit. “What do you wish me to do?”

“Shrewd Fox has convinced me that the less direction you are given, the better your results will be,” the emperor said. “So you have no orders other than these: Go. Meet with the leaders of the armies under flag of truce. Negotiate a peace. Bring back a treaty. If it pleases me, I shall reward you appropriately. If not, you will be killed.”

“Majesty! One does not kill the messenger if the message displeases.”

“That is a courtesy which one ruler extends to another. It does not apply to one's own messengers, who may be freely put to death for any reason or indeed no reason at all. Let this fact be a motivating force for you.”

“But—”

“You will go. That is an order. There are no alternatives.”

*   *   *

KNOWING WHAT
was coming, Darger walked slowly back to his quarters. Shrewd Fox was the first to catch up to him.

“What is this nonsense about Powerful Locomotive spending the night with me?” she demanded.

“You were taking forever to get around to it,” Darger said. “So I thought I'd speed things up for you. I believe it was the Swan of Avon who observed that it was as well to be hung for a sheep as a lamb. You have suffered the consequences of sleeping with Powerful Locomotive. You might as well have the pleasure.”

“I did not ask you to meddle in my private affairs. Yet you did so anyway.”

“You're welcome. But I did it for my own convenience, rather than yours.” Darger walked away from Shrewd Fox, leaving her fuming behind him.

Not long after, Powerful Locomotive ran up to Darger and, roughly grabbing one arm, brought him to a stop.

“I saw you talking to Shrewd Fox. What did you—?”

“I told her what I am about to tell you: as well to be hanged for a sheep as for a lamb.”

“Whatever can that ungainly sentiment possibly mean?”

“It means that unless you are a sheep, you will seize the moment, seduce the ceo, and enjoy the squalid pleasures that you have already been publicly denounced for.”

“But my goal is White Squall!”

“You are a strongly made man, Powerful Locomotive, as well as being highly placed in the Hidden Emperor's confidences. These are qualities that women find attractive and, coupled with a confident attitude, all but irresistible. But for the past several months you have been as sexless as a eunuch. Consequently, you hold yourself like a man who is desperate for romantic ardor and knows no way of correcting the situation. This is something that women find repulsive. So I have put the thought in both your and the ceo's minds that you should have sex with each other. Simultaneously, I let all the world know you have already done so, thus removing all possible incentives not to do the deed. In effect, I rendered the coupling inevitable.”

“But you have mated me with the wrong woman!”

“Having sex with Shrewd Fox will rid you of that habitual cringe which, invisible though it may be to you, I can assure you is all too obvious to your intended. If you do not love White Squall enough to sleep with another woman for her sake, then I fail to see how you will ever win her.”

Confused, the general murmured, “It sounds logical. Yet simultaneously it all seems terribly wrong.…”

Sternly, Darger said, “Are you man enough to do what needs to be done? Tell me you will do it.”

Powerful Locomotive took a deep breath. “I suppose I must.”

“Tell me!”

“I will seduce Ceo Shrewd Fox. I will do it today. And I will give her as much pleasure as a woman is capable of receiving.”

“Excellent.” Darger patted Powerful Locomotive on the back. “Then White Squall is as good as yours.”

*   *   *

LATER THAT
day, orders came making Darger an ambassador plenipotentiary with the power to bind the Hidden Emperor to his agreements (provided, of course, he did not chance to suffer a fatal mishap before the emperor could confirm them) and commanding him to make peace with the Yellow Sea Alliance forces that were currently forming up on the northern border of Commerce preparatory to marching upon South. It also granted him appropriate moneys for the journey and the right to command a small military force of no more than twenty soldiers to serve as his personal guard.

“It seems that Ceo Shrewd Fox is anxious to rid herself not only of me but of the Dog Warrior and his clan as well,” Darger said. “I am sent away with every associate I have save only you, Capable Servant. She is as good as giving me a nod and a wink and saying, ‘Take this small bribe and flee while you can.'”

“Oh, sir! You would not leave me behind?” Capable Servant looked stricken.

“Do not fear. I have no intention of bolting. I shall return to you at the end of this mission. Provided, of course, that I am not dead by then.”

“You cannot die, master. You are destined for great things.”

Thus it was that, the very next morning, Darger and Surplus were sent against the combined military might of three nations, equipped with nothing but the Dog Pack and their own native guile.

*   *   *

IT WAS
a grim ride.

The weather was unseasonably cold, and so Darger wore a black wool greatcoat as similar to those of his native England as the local tailors could be made to understand. Surplus wore something similar, of a Chinese cut with embroidery on the lapels and cuffs. Fire Orchid wore the same hooded cloak she'd had on when she killed the ambusher in South, which daylight now revealed to be of deepest scarlet. The others were dressed in appropriate cold-weather gear. And the land wore a light covering of morning frost, which disappeared in minutes when the sun came up.

Flying the white flag of parley, the company rode along badly maintained roads past overgrown fields, fish ponds that were silting into marshland, and far too many roofless farmhouses. Those houses that were still occupied were not much better than those that were not, with crumbling chimneys and buckling walls. The villages they rode through were desperate, unprosperous places.

“If this is how the land looks before battle,” Surplus said, “then God help this nation when the war passes over it.”

“North is a harsh master,” Darger agreed.

Late in the day, as the afternoon was turning to evening, the Dog Pack came to an inn with a sun-bleached plesiosaur skull hung over the door—that being the common sign for a tavern in all the lands approaching the Grand Canal. “Let us stop for the night at the Sign of the Smiling Sea Serpent,” Darger suggested. “We are all weary, and hungry to boot.”

“An excellent idea,” Surplus said. “We will surely get a warm welcome, for our visit will improve their day's profit margin astonishingly.”

No stable workers were visible, so the Dog Pack unsaddled and unharnessed their mountain horses, told them not to go far, and set them loose to graze. Then they went inside.