Chasing Wishes (34 page)

I can’t hold back the sobs anymore, and the moment the first one wrenches free of my lips, the rest follow close behind it. I hunch over in my chair and wrap my arms tightly around myself as sobs rack my body.

Isaac’s here... he’s been right here with me all this time.

"The prince was left alone, but he remembered a promise he’d made to her," madt esays Terrence, and then he gets up from his chair and kneels in front of me. "A promise that he’d find her no matter where she went—a promise that they’d be together in the end no matter what happened."

My sobs retreat into my chest and my teary eyes dry as Terrence... Isaac... softly kisses my hand. My brain completely gives up on figuring out what’s happening, and I can only sit and watch in wonderment at the scene unfolding around me.

"Like Rapunzel’s prince, though," I whisper, adding a piece to his story, "the young prince was blinded by a terrible spell. How was he supposed to find his princess now that he couldn’t see?"

"The prince wandered hopelessly for years," continues Terrence, picking up where I left off. "He searched for her every step of the way, tried his best to get others to help him where he couldn’t see, and just when he’d given up all hope of finding her..."

I open my mouth to add the next part, but Terrence isn’t finished yet. He clears his throat and then keeps going.

"...and just when he’d given up all hope of finding her, fate brought her back into his life again. He found his beloved princess working as a servant in his own castle, her crown nowhere to be seen."

He takes a deep breath and then stands up, grabbing me by the hands and pulling me up alongside him.

"Irene... Nina... I can't let you be my assistant anymore. I’ve loved you since the day I met you. I loved you as Nina and I love you as Irene, and I’ll be
damned
if I let you be my servant when you're really my princess. "

Terrence is Isaac. Terrence is Isaac and he knows I’m Nina... and... and he loves me...

I stare at him in wide-eyed bewilderment as my thoughts race aimlessly in my head. This is everything I'd dreamed of, everything I hoped might someday come true from the moment I first met Isaac all those years ago. Shouldn't I be shouting for joy right now?

"Terrence, I... um..."

All my words fall away, and suddenly I'm sprinting for the balcony door.

I can’t breathe. I can’t think. I don't know what's going on anymore and I need to get away before any more impossible emotions build up inside me. I throw open the French doors and race out onto the balcony, and for a brief second, I feel as if I might explode.

The wind howls so loudly that it drowns out even my racing thoughts and the blood pounding through my veins, and a light mist coats my skin as I grip the wrought-iron railing. The moon glows weakly through the shifting clouds and leaves silver sparkles on the gray, rippling water down below.

Nine years. It’s been nine years since I saw Isaac.

The doors swing open behind me, and then Terrence...Isaac... silently joins me at the railing. My body tenses up as he delicately hooks his arm around my waist. It feels so good, so
right
to have him touch me, but at the same time, it feels different now. All the times we’ve made love, as amazing and wonderful as they were, mean nothing without this moment—this decision.

If I kiss him the way my body's begging me to, if I accept his love tonight... it’s permanent. This is the fairy tale’s ending. This is fate offering one chance at a Happily Ever After and I’m terrified to make the choice.

"Irene... th">" talere’s something else I need to tell you," says Terrence. "One last piece to the story that I couldn’t figure out how to fit into the fairy tale inside."

I put my arm around his waist, and a tingle runs up my spine as he presses his palm gently against my hip and pulls me in close to him.

"Go on," I say, staring out at the river.

He pulls me back from the railing and holds my hands in his as he turns to face me. It leaves me breathless, somehow, that he wants to tell me this face to face even though he can’t see me. Something about the intention is so respectful, so open and honest, that even the simple act makes me fall even more in love with him.

"I said that we’d be together some day, but I promised something else, too," he tells me. "I promised you that we’d see each other again."

"And we have," I say. "We’re seeing each other right now."

I realize how wrong the words are the moment they leave my lips. He still hasn’t seen me. He hasn’t seen me in nine years.

He smiles at me and gently squeezes my hands.

"Do you remember the side project I told you about?" he asks. "Do you remember me telling you at the bar about how I only took jobs where I could steal the science?"

"Yes," I tell him, nodding and squeezing his hands tightly.

"It was the truth. The whole point of starting my consulting firm was to steal the research I needed for my project. Every major company I worked with was chosen because they had something I needed to finish my
own
work. I've been stealing the parts to my project from other companies," he says. "I know it's not ethical, but I've been desperate to finish it for years, Irene."

"What is this project?"

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before answering.

"I lost my vision during college through a degenerative disease called
retinitis pigmentosa
. Most people don’t go completely blind from it, nor do they lose their vision as quickly as I did, but I guess I’m an unlucky statistic," he says with a bitter smile. "Marcus and I used our own research plus stolen technology to develop the first artificial retinal implant."

He smiles excitedly before adding, " If it works, it’ll restore my eyesight and I can keep my promise. I'll be able to truly see you again."

"And what if it doesn’t work?"

"If it doesn’t work, I’m blind forever."

Terrence releases my hands, and as he stands before me, he suddenly looks as nervous as if he’s performing on stage.

"Before I met you... well, you as Irene, I mean," he stammers, "I dated a woman named Colleen DiMatteo. She couldn't handle me being blind and left me rather than deal with it."

"I'm sorry," I whisper, remembering how upset Marcus was when he told me the same story.

"Irene... would you still stay with me if I could never see again?"

I can see the tension knotting up in his neck and shoulders as he awaits my answer. I don't need any time to think this one through, though. Now that I'm past the initial shock, all my thoughts and feelings are falling into place again. I fell for him because of how much he reminded me of Isaac, but I love him now asovethough. Terrence. I loved him before I ever even dreamed that he might be able to restore his sight, and I couldn't care less what he had to do to finish his project. I grew up fighting for every little scrap, and I understand the feeling of desperation that comes
with believing that you'll never get what you want or find what you're looking for. For Terrence, the desperation came from something no amount of money could ever fix—losing his vision. He's devoted his life to escaping blindness just as I wanted to escape my old life in New Haven.

"You don't need to decide now," he tells me gently. "Take some time to think and—"

My answer is to take a short step forward, place my fingertips on his shoulders, and then press my lips to his.

A feeling of indescribable joy explodes through my body as he pulls me in close and gleefully returns my kiss

"I love you no matter what happens, Terrence," I whisper into his ear, and he smiles so brightly that it practically lights up the night.

The rain starts coming down harder now, and I quickly hook my arm around his and guide him back into the bedroom. Terrence pulls me in close and kisses me passionately the moment I shut the door, and we’re across the room and onto the bed in seconds. As the torrential rain pours down outside, there’s nowhere I’d rather be tonight than in bed with him... lying in his embrace and making love to him until dawn.

I
have no idea how Terrence got booked for his surgery so quickly, especially given it's an experimental one, but after only a few days on the phone, he had a slot scheduled at the Palmer Institute in Miami. It must've cost him a fortune.

Terrence's bedroom at the hospital seems awfully large for one person, but I suppose it's yet another perk of having massive disposable income. It's going to take me a long time to adjust to that sort of thing, and I honestly hope that I
never
get used to it. Where I once was worried that I'd grow up to be like Mom, now I'm worried that I'll become Terrence's mother instead. I just can't give myself the benefit of the doubt, can I?

The florescent lights overhead hum at a particularly irritating frequency, and suddenly I'm reminded of the long glass corridor of Terrence's laboratory. Ugly but colorful pastel paintings decorate the walls of the room and a clock with a slate-gray face ticks quietly overhead, reminding me that I'll have to leave soon. The doctors are coming back soon, and they've already told me that they don't want me around when they take him in for surgery.

Two nurses and a man I assume is the anesthesiologist come into the room, and Terrence's hand starts trembling in mine. I squeeze his hand tightly and try my best to comfort him.

"Okay, Mrs. Radcliffe... it's time for you to leave now," the doctor tells me, and my face turns bright red. Mrs. Radcliffe... God, I love the idea. Irene and Terrence—Irene and Isaac... a dream come true, even if we're not there yet.

"You're going to be okay, Terrence," I tell him, squeezing his hand once more. "It's going to work."

I stand to leave but then lean in to give him one last, long kiss before I go. As I lay my hand against his chest, I can feel his pulse racing. He's trying to put on a strong face for me, but he's scared to death inside.

"It'll all be fine," I whisper, and then I turn away. As I r put on a each the door, Terrence calls out to me.

"Irene?"

"Yes?" I look back at him over my shoulder.

"I love you," he blurts out. "I needed to tell you, just... just in case."

Just in case the surgery doesn't work,
my fears whisper to me.
Just in case he dies and leaves you alone...

The fearful thoughts are powerless against his words, though, and warm, wonderful feelings surge through me. I love him so much.

"I love you too, Terrence," I answer, wishing more than ever that now, when he needs it most, he could see how much he's just made me smile. "I'll see you soon."

"So will I," he whispers, and I hurry from the room as tears cloud my eyes.

****

I
haven't seen Terrence in three days.

I knew something was wrong the moment the doctor came out to the waiting room. The look on his face said it all.

The two words that came next said everything else:
major complications
.

"The retinal implantation system didn't work as designed, and we had to make several additional incisions and completely redo the suture patterns," the doctor told me. "We're going to need to perform a second surgery to finish everything off, and it’s going to be a long recovery for Mr. Radcliffe even without the potential infection concerns arising from the extra incisions. Go back to your hotel, try to relax, and I promise we'll keep you updated."

"Is he going to be okay?"

"I believe so, but we won't know for certain until we complete the second surgery. We'll know about his vision once he's healed," he answered, and he showed me to the door.

I remember nodding numbly, the doctor laying his hand on my shoulder as he walked me out, and then the next thing I remember, I'm in my hotel room crying on the bed.

Three days turns into four, four in to five, and soon we've hit the one week mark as I wait for word from the hospital.

When the phone finally rings, the news from the hospital almost kills me. Terrence has a severe eye infection, and they still can't let me see him.

"Please, can't I at least come look at him through the glass?" I beg the doctor. "I won't stay long! I just need to see him again."

"I'm sorry," says the doctor. "He's really not in any shape to receive visitors and... well, for your own sake it's best you don't see him right now either. We'll call you as soon as he's ready."

"For
my
sake? My God how bad is it?" I exclaim as my hands start to shake.

"It just looks worse than it is, Ms. Hartley. All the same, we can't have you in yet. We'll call you soon," the doctor answers calmly. As he hangs up, I can't help but suspect that 'soon' is going to be a long time from now.