Chat Love (7 page)

Patrick raises his eyebrows. “But what?” he asks, almost yelling. “Are you trying to say that they don’t want to come on my show?”

“No, not exactly,” I stutter, knowing that I’m lying to his face.

Patrick says in a stern voice, “Fine, then get them on. That’s your job, Lucia. I am so sick of discussing the same old crap with these Jenine Graham types.”

Jackson finally reenters the conversation. “I agree, Patrick. But today, thanks to Lucia, we have Jenine Graham here, so let’s make the best of it.” He leads Patrick off of the stage. “Now you go relax in your dressing room and I’ll go get some Valium for you.”

I watch Patrick walk away. My fists are clenched at my sides; I have a sudden urge to punch Jackson. “What the hell was that?” I ask angrily.

Jackson turns to me and nonchalantly replies, “What?”

“Blaming me for the sub-par talent that agrees to come on the show?”

“It
is
your job,” Jackson says with a small grin.

I step closer to him, still serious. “But it’s also
your
job to make this show good enough to attract real talent worth our time.”

He steps closer to me, defensive. “This is the show’s first year. You’re not going to get Academy Award-winners to come on yet. It takes time, Lucia.”

“Well why didn’t you tell Patrick that instead of blaming me?” I say, my voice beginning to rise.

“I wasn’t blaming you; I was just stating that it is your job to book the talent.”

Everyone surrounding us stops working and begins watching us argue. Caitlin, one of the production assistants, comes strutting over in her tight skinny jeans.

“Guys,” she says, looking only at Jackson, “I’m supposed to remind you that the show starts in five minutes.” She looks at Jackson, fluttering her brown eyes, and shoves her chest out more, revealing an ample amount of cleavage. I roll my eyes and step back from Jackson as he sneaks a peek. Caitlin annoys me as it is, but I’m even more bothered by her now, in the middle of our argument.

Jackson smiles at Caitlin and says, “Thank you, Caitlin. Would you do me a favor, darling? Can you get Patrick his Valium and get him ready to come out?”

“Anything for you, Jackson,” Caitlin replies breathily. Jackson winks at her and she walks away, swaying her hips.

I hit him in the arm. “Maybe if you spent less time trying to screw the staff and more time working then we could get some real talent on the show.” I walk away from him, annoyed that Caitlin interrupted such an important argument.

After work, Skyler and I grab dinner and drinks at Ruby Tuesday in Times Square. It’s one of our favorite places to eat because of its reasonable prices, good food, fun drinks, and convenient location. The restaurant is always packed on both of its two floors, and is not your typical Ruby Tuesday, where you’d normally go for just a burger and fries. No, this Ruby Tuesday is fancy, especially compared to others.

Since we come here so often, the staff knows us and we usually get the same table. We order our drinks: Skyler their signature Hurricane and I a dirty martini. After our waiter takes our food orders, Skyler points to my drink, raising her eyebrows.

“OK, it’s only Monday. What the hell happened?” she asks.

I take a huge swallow of my drink and relish the feeling of it sliding down my throat. After a minute of silence I finally say, “I can’t stand Jackson Foster.” Skyler laughs at me and I shake my head. “Don’t laugh, it’s not funny. Seriously, that man is an asshole. He’s nothing but an English asshole that thinks he’s better than me. I wish immigration would send his ass home.”

“You mean the ass you check out every morning?” Skyler asks me with a smirk. I narrow my eyes at her and her face turns serious. “I’m sorry—I heard what happened today.” She takes a sip of her drink, the large diamond in her beautiful engagement ring sparkling in the light. “OK, so Jackson can be a pain in the ass, but the guy is under a lot of pressure from the suits.”

I lean back in the booth, bothered that my friend isn’t taking my side. “Why do you always defend him?”

She throws her hands up in the air, “I’m not. I’m just saying that the guy isn’t that bad.”

I roll my eyes. “He likes you, Skyler. That’s why he’s nice to you. He’s only nice to Caitlin and all of her little friends because he wants to screw them or is already screwing them. On the other hand, he hates me.”

She gives me another smirk, “Well then maybe all that tension between you two is sexual.”

I chuckle, “If only; that would be something I could fix. No, the tension between Jackson and I has more to do with the fact that we can’t stand each other.” I take another sip of my drink. “Anyway, he never looks at me the way that he looks at all the other women at work. He checks you out even though he knows you’re getting married in May.”

“You know, I’ve seen him check you out more than once. I’m just saying.” She wiggles her eyebrows at me. “So are you finally on Chat Love yet?” she asks, changing the subject.

“No, not yet,” I reply, “I’m just not sure if it would work for me. I’m not that kind of girl.” I purposely don’t mention how my family and some of my friends are against my using the site.

She leans back in the booth. “Oh, you aren’t? Well then what kind of girl am I?”

I quickly explain to her what I meant, “It’s just that I’m very busy, and I’m not good with computers or the Internet, and I just don’t think that I can advertise myself that way…”

Before I can finish my rambling, Skyler cuts me off, “Excuses. All I hear are excuses. Do you know what I think? I think you don’t actually want to try to find someone.” I open my mouth to protest, but she continues, “And I mean
really
try to meet someone. You always say you’re looking, but you only look with one eye open. I think you’ve just given up, as if you don’t think your Mr. Right is out there. I think that maybe you’re afraid to try Chat Love because you know there’s a good chance that you’ll actually meet someone, and that would mean you’d have to risk getting hurt again. You’re afraid to put yourself out there because you’re afraid of getting hurt.”

I stare at her with my mouth open, surprised at how correct her conclusions are. I’ve been hurt and disappointed so many times that, in a way, I have given up. My heart is finally healed, and I’m not sure I’m ready to expose it at the risk of it getting broken again.

Skyler looks at me, laughing, and says, “Close your mouth before you swallow a fly.” I snap out of my thoughts and take another sip of my drink. Skyler takes another sip of hers and asks me, “Do you want to know how I know all of that about you?” I shrug my shoulders and feel my eyes brimming with tears. She leans in closer to me and says, almost in a whisper, “Lucia, I was the same way too. I never thought that I would find someone who could make me happy, but look at me now: I’m getting married to the love of my life and I have never been this happy. I was afraid of getting hurt, but I decided that I’d rather give my heart the chance to experience love than leave it empty forever.”

Our food arrives and I wipe my cheeks quickly, trying to hide my emotions. The waiter leaves and I look down at my dinner, my appetite gone. I look up at Skyler and see her already eating her shrimp and streak. She stops when she notices that I’m not eating, “I’m sorry, Lu. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

I shake my head and take a spoonful of mashed potatoes. “It’s not your fault; you didn’t upset me. What you said upset me, but that’s just because it’s true; I am afraid of getting hurt.”

My friend smiles and signals to our waiter. Before he can even ask, Skyler has already placed an order for a slice of double-chocolate cake. The waiter nods politely and walks away.

Skyler says to me, “After the day you had today, I think you need some chocolate.” She takes a bite of her food and then adds, “And you need to go on Chat Love.”

I appreciate her concern, but I don’t want to talk about my problems anymore. I change the subject, “What I need is to hear all about your wedding plans.”

At the mention of her wedding, Skyler’s eyes sparkle, and she rambles on about her big day for the rest of our meal.

After my dinner with Skyler, I am exhausted, and I want nothing more than a nap. As I open the door, I see Autumn and Wayne sitting on the couch and typing on her pink laptop.

“Hey,” Autumn says cheerfully.

Wayne looks up and smiles at me. “Hello.”

I take off my shoes and sit on the couch next to Autumn, sandwiching her between Wayne and me. “What are you guys doing?” I ask.

Without looking away from her laptop, Autumn answers me, “I’m helping Wayne set up his profile.”

I rub my forehead, still feeling the effects of the two dirty martinis that I had earlier. I look at the laptop screen and see that Autumn is on Chat Love.

“We made your profile already but we couldn’t decide what picture to use, so you can just pick one out later,” Autumn says while making adjustments to Wayne’s “Interests” section.

I sit up straighter, “What? Why would you do that?”

Still staring at the screen, she answers, “You said yourself that it’s hard for you to meet anyone of quality. We’re just helping you out.”

Shaking my head I angrily reply, “I don’t need it. Delete my profile.”

Wayne gets up from the couch and sits on the wooden coffee table in front of me. “Come on Lu, I’m trying it. And if it fails then we can both laugh about it together.” He turns to Autumn and asks, “What should my love name be?”

I look between Autumn and Wayne, my skepticism written clearly across my face. “What? What is a love name?”

Still typing, Autumn answers, “A love name is a cute name you use so that nobody knows your real name.”

“But they can see your picture,” I retort.

“Yes, but they still don’t know your real name, so they can’t look you up and stalk you.” Autumn replies in her “teacher voice,” a sickly-sweet, slow tone that indicates that she’s growing tired of my questions.

I reply sarcastically, “That sounds reassuring.”

Wayne pats my knee to get my attention, “We named you YankeeGirl4Ever.”

I cross my arms across my chest. “That’s a stupid name.”

Autumn looks at me and gives me one of her big smiles, “No, it’s cute. You love the Yankees.”

I get up from the couch and stretch, trying to appear aloof. “Whatever, I’m going to bed.” I walk toward the bathroom, but before I shut the door I yell out to Autumn and Wayne, “Don’t put my picture up. I don’t want anyone to know I’m on it.”

Its Friday night now and it’s been four days since Autumn and Wayne created my profile. I still haven’t made up my mind about whether I want to try Chat Love or not. I haven’t actually been on the site, but I have already been getting e-mail notifications explaining that someone is interested in talking to me. Work this week has been annoying, between Skyler’s constant nagging about me trying Chat Love and Jackson’s being a hard-ass about finding “talent instead of gossip tabloid whores.” I’m just happy it’s the weekend.

I’m sitting on my couch with Danni, drinking wine and watching some movie that is playing on TV. Danni quickly finishes her second glass of wine and reaches for her third. I look at her closely and see that she looks stressed, with her forehead scrunched, her hair in a sloppy bun, and her body tense.

“You OK?” I ask. “If you’re not up to it, we don’t have to go to dinner. We can just stay in, finish this corny movie, and get drunk. To be honest, I’m exhausted, so that’d be fine with me. I feel as though I’ve been dragged through hell this week, what with Jackson …”

Danni turns to me and suddenly cuts me off, “I hate men.
Hate
them. Elijah opened his big, stupid mouth and told everyone that we had sex, and now I’m looked at as a whore. A
whore
! Now my bosses actually think the rumors about me sleeping with my clients are true, and they’re considering reviewing me.”

Confused, I say, “But you do sleep with your clients.”

“Yeah, but my bosses don’t know that,” Danni huffs at me.

I pour her another glass of wine. “I told you, Danni, you need to stop having sex with people from work. Look at Jackson: if he is sleeping with Caitlin and people find out then he will look like the boss who is taking advantage of a young, impressionable girl.”

Danni puts her hand up in the air to stop me from talking. “Wait, Jackson? First off, are you talking about that hot Brit that you work with?” I nod my head. “Second, do you know if he is definitely having sex with this girl?” I shake my head. “Third, are you jealous that he is giving her attention instead of you?”

“No,” I blurt out, “I can’t stand Jackson.” I pour myself another glass, angry that yet another one of my friends thinks that I want to sleep with Jackson.

Danni laughs. “Calm down, Lu. You don’t have to like the guy to want to have sex with him. I would have already had sex with him if I were in your position; he is one fine man. When I met him I could barely keep my mind off of all the naughty things I’d like to do.”

Not wanting to talk about Danni’s fantasies, I change the subject. “The other day, Autumn and Wayne signed me up on Chat Love. Wayne signed himself up, too.”

Danni raises one eyebrow at me. “You’re on Chat Love? When did you decide to go over to the dark side?”

I explain to Danni what had happened on Monday after work, including my talk with Skyler and how I found Autumn and Wayne busy making his profile. Danni is laughing so hard that she is having difficulty breathing.

“Wait, your love name is YankeesGirl4Ever? You sound like a lesbian,” she says between fits of giggles.

Defensively, I reply, “I think it’s cute.” I take a deep breath, “Anyway, I think I might actually try it. I mean, why not? I already have the profile, after all; I can just put up an old picture of myself. I’m not really focused on appearance anymore because of what happened with Kellan. My main focus with him was on his looks, and I got hurt in the end. It’s time for me to focus on personality.”

Danni sits up straighter and asks me in a serious tone, “Wait, you are actually considering doing this?”

“Yes, I am. I’m going to be twenty-eight in March and our high school reunion is in June. Danni, we aren’t getting any younger, and if it’s hard trying to find someone now, just imagine how much harder it will be when we are older. I just don’t want to be alone anymore.”