Cher (46 page)

When
Mermaids
was released in December of 1990, it received decidedly mixed reviews from the critics. Roger Ebert in the
Chicago Sun Times
found it to be quirky but enjoyable.

It’s a story told by a teenage girl whose mother avoids becoming known as the town tramp only because she changes towns so often. . . . The mom in
Mermaids
goes by the name of Mrs. Flax, and is played by Cher, but in an eerie sense played as Cher, with perfect make-up and a flawless body that seems a bit much to hope for, given the character’s lifestyle and diet. . . . And yet, perversely perhaps, I found this an interesting movie. I didn’t give a bean how it turned out, and I found a lot of it preposterous, but I enjoyed that quality (178).

Desson Howe of the
Washington Post
hated it—a lot. “This movie,” he wrote, “doesn’t come of age so much as die of it. It’s awash in mediocrity, waterlogged with innocuousness. . . . Cher seems to have her mind on other things. She phones in her performance. . . . Last and definitely least is the inspiration-free direction of hack-helmsman Richard Benjamin” (179).

However, in that very same paper, writer Hal Hinson loved it.

The strength of June Roberts’s sprightly, inventive script—which came by way of Patty Dann’s novel, with some custom modifications based on Cher’s relationship with her own mother—may have been the project’s salvation. . . . All of the women characters here are seen as exotics . . . for some this notion might be hard to swallow. But Cher, who’s the most otherworldly of modern actresses, makes the suggestion seem altogether reasonable. Her Mrs. Flax is deliciously trashy—kitsch in high heels (180).

A decade later, viewing the film
Mermaids
reveals it to be a fascinating bit of cinema fluff, a highly entertaining comedy film that is short on depth, but full of tears and laughs. It is especially fun to see Cher working with Winona Ryder and Christina Ricci, as her daughters. Both Ryder and Ricci blossomed into two of 1990s’ cinema’s brightest stars, and to watch them on screen with Cher—at her most Auntie Mame–like—is a delight. However, at the time,
Mermaids
was not a huge box-office hit.

The one aspect of it that was a major hit, however, was the song “The Shoop Shoop Song (It’s in His Kiss),” which Cher recorded for the movie’s soundtrack album. She had gone into the recording studio with producer Peter Asher and sung her own versions of a couple of 1960s hits. When it was released as a single in the United States, “The Shoop Shoop Song (It’s in His Kiss)” only made it to Number 33 on the charts. However, when it was released in England, it zoomed up to the top of the record charts, and became the biggest-selling single of her British recording career. It was also the first time she had ever hit Number 1 on the British charts.

On January 26, 1991, Cher was seen on tape at military bases in the Middle East in a specially produced two-hour armed forces video program. Taped in the living room of her Malibu house, she was the star of
Cher’s Video Canteen
, on which she hosted twenty-two video clips by such artists as Bonnie Raitt, Janet Jackson, John Fogerty, Paul Simon, and Van Halen.

On February 4, 1991, Cher was the star of her first network television special in twelve years, as CBS-TV broadcast
Cher at the Mirage
, a concert TV special. Among the songs that she sang during the special was her version of the song “Many Rivers to Cross.” She had finally broken her promise to stay away from Las Vegas for several years. She ended up with a great concert video from the deal, which she released as a video cassette. Throughout the beginning of 1991, Cher continued to tour North America.

In March of 1991, she was in an operating room at the Medical City Dallas Hospital in Dallas, Texas. No, this wasn’t one of her plastic surgeries, it was to be there for a young girl she had befriended, Marie Jatejic, and it was a delicate operation on the girl’s face. Ever since she had filmed
Mask
in the 1980s, Cher had made the Children’s Craniofacial Association (CCA) one of her pet charities. According to her, “There are all kinds of worthwhile charities. But I can’t spread myself too thin. I have to feel committed. If you look at one of these children, knowing that the only thing that keeps them from living a normal, happy, productive life in society, is money, it seems a shame” (181). On February 10, 1992, Cher appeared on the American syndicated television program
The Maury Povich Show
and pledged an astonishing $450,000 toward the Children’s Craniofacial Association.

Once Cher became the honorary chairwoman for the CCA, in several of the cities she performed at in concert, local organizations would bring children afflicted with the physical ravages of this disorder and allow them to hang out with Cher. Along the way, there were several children, and adults, who genuinely touched her heart. She met Marie Jatejic when she was on tour in Australia. There was something about Marie that kept the child in Cher’s thoughts. With Cher’s personal intercession, Marie was able to have an expensive operation to try to give her a more normal life, and to feel better about herself. Usually squeamish about watching a medical operation, Cher put her fear of hospitals aside, and was there for Marie. “It’s hard to see them trapped in these little faces. You can really see the change in Marie’s life. Her operation was one of the highlights of my life” (182).

In June of 1991, Cher released her third LP for Geffen Records. Her twenty-sixth solo album,
Love Hurts
, took a similar approach to her previous Platinum-selling albums on Geffen Records, the hard-rocking “power ballad” styling of the songs and a team of different producers working toward a cohesive collection of dynamic cuts. Highlights on this
album include Diane Warren’s brilliant composition “Love and Understanding,” and “A World without Heroes,” which was written by Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley of KISS with Lou Reed, and Alice Cooper’s producer, Bob Ezrin.

When the album was released in June of 1991, it instantly hit Number 1 in England, becoming her first LP to debut at the top of the charts in that country. And it stayed at Number 1 for five weeks. Although it only peaked at Number 48 on the American album chart in
Billboard
, it was certified Gold. In America in 1991, Cher’s popularity on the music charts was starting to cool down. While she was to continue to be bigger than ever before in England, and in Europe, her recordings seemed to fall on deaf ears in the United States.

As a special marketing ploy, the
Love Hurts
album was not only released with regular CD packaging, it was also available in a special limited edition package. This special collector’s version was housed in a hinged wooden box with thirteen special Cher Tarot cards, bearing additional Gothic artwork and the album liner notes. The Cher Tarot cards were bound together with a rice paper ring, on which was printed the quote “I hate and I love. Why I do so, perhaps you ask. I know not, but I feel it and I am in torment,” by Gaius Valerius Catullus, 84–54
B.C
. It was the complete Cher experience: listen to the music, play with the Tarot cards, learn the philosophy.

Love Hurts
had the distinction of yielding four separate hit singles, with varying results on the music charts on each side of the Atlantic. They were “Love and Understanding” (Number 10/UK, Number 17/U.S.), “Save Up All Your Tears” (Number 37/UK, Number 37/U.S.), “Love Hurts” (Number 43/UK), and “Could’ve Been You” (Number 43/UK).

Cher was aggressive in her attempts to promote the album. On June 14, 1991, she was interviewed on the television program
CBS This Morning
. At this point in time, probably the only other woman in show business who had the impact and staying power of Cher was Madonna. When she was asked her opinion of Madonna, part of her frank answer had to be “bleeped,” but for anyone who could read lips, Cher’s complete reply was,

There’s something about her that I don’t like. She’s mean, I don’t like that. I remember having her over to my house a couple of times, because Sean [Penn] and I were friends, and she was just so rude to everybody. It seems to me that she’s got so much, that she doesn’t have to act the way she acts, like a spoiled brat all the time. It seems to me when you reach the kind of acclaim that she’s reached and can do whatever you want to do, you should be a little more magnanimous and a little bit less of a cunt (182).

On June 16, Cher debuted the first single off her new album on the Fox-TV program
Backstage Pass to Summer
. On June 17, she was seen in Britain on the BBC1-TV program
Wogan
. On July 27, 1991, Cher was a guest on the NBC-TV program
The Tonight Show
. By August of that year,
Love Hurts
had been certified Gold in America. In November of 1991 alone, she was also seen on the TV programs
Sally Jesse Raphael, Late Night with David Letterman, The Tonight Show
, and
Dame Edna’s Hollywood
. Alas, the
Love Hurts
album was the least successful of her trio of Geffen Records studio albums in America.

In October, high-fashion critic Mr. Blackwell assessed fashions since the 1960s and awarded Cher the honor of being named the “Worst Dressed Woman of the Last Three Decades.” According to Blackwell, “From toes to nose, she’s the tacky tattooed terror of the 20th Century. A Bono-fide fashion fiasco of the legendary kind” (183). In the December 15, 1991 issue of
People
magazine, Cher graced the pages of the publication’s “Best and Worst Dressed of 1991” spread. Showing her tattooed behind through fishnet stockings and a thin thong, wearing knee-height high-heeled boots, a long black wig, and little else, Cher’s photo appeared on a page headlined “The Stars, The Moon.” It was thumbs down for Cher’s “mooning” fashion statement, taken from the promotional video for her song “Save Up All Your Tears.” Talk about cheeky!

That same year, Cher also released her first book,
Forever Fit
. In it she revealed her exercise tips, low-calorie recipes, and all of her secrets for maintaining a remarkable figure. Conspicuously missing from her health and fitness tips was her biggest body-maintaining regime, countless thousands of dollars in plastic surgery, body-part lifts, and very expensive dental work. However, as Cher was to point out at the time, “If you never take care of your car, someday it’s going to break down. You can buy a new car, but you can’t buy a new body” (184).

In time for Christmas 1991, Cher released her fitness video cassette
Cherfitness—A New Attitude
. According to her at the time, “I made this video for myself. I put together the best trainers that I could. I believe in being driven by the best.” With regard to her training perspective, Cher explained, “I based this program on my own cross training technique. It’s
in modular increments, so if you don’t have a great deal of time, or you just need to concentrate on one area of the body, no sweat” (184).

In March of 1992, superstar manager Frank DiLeo was interviewed by
USA Today
about his featured role in the forthcoming film
Wayne’s World
. DiLeo had become quite the cigar-chomping legend in the 1980s when he signed the then-hot Michael Jackson for exclusive representation. Since parting ways with Jackson, DiLeo had gone on to appear in a series of films as an Italian mobster, including a role in 1990’s
Goodfellas
as gangster Tuddy Cicero. He bragged to
USA Today’s
Karen Thomas about his then-current roster of stars, including Laura Branigan, Al B. Sure!, and Richie Sambora. He also talked about the client he had just signed, Cher. “She was looking for somebody to get more involved in her music career. She wants to do better. She likes doing albums, maybe even better than movies” (185). Reportedly, their first work together was to be the promotion of her next single, “Could’ve Been You.”

In April and May of that year, Cher was busy promoting herself in Europe via an eight-week-long concert and public appearance tour. She played in twelve countries and to sold-out audiences in each of them. That year, the British recording industry declared
Love Hurts
to be Triple Platinum. On April 11, Cher was one of the international celebrities to attend the grand opening of Euro Disney in France. On the twenty-fifth of April her latest British single, “Could’ve Been You,” hit Number 31, just prior to her May 6 and 7 dates at Wembly Arena.

Cher was due to headline at the Paramount in New York City on May 27, 1992, but following the exhausting European tour, she was suffering from bronchitis and sinusitis. With all of the tabloid coverage about her mysterious illness, her fans were beginning to worry about her health. To make up her canceled dates at the Paramount Theater, Cher returned to New York City to perform in Madison Square Garden on October 27, 28, 30, and November 1, 1992. She reportedly grossed $1,068,078 for her performances.

On July 2, the RIAA in the United States certified her first Geffen Records album,
Cher
, Platinum for over a million copies sold in her native country. On October 26, Cher made a surprise phone-in appearance on CNN’s
Larry King Show
. The show’s guest that particular day was presidential hopeful and third party candidate Ross Perot. She dialed up the call-in show to let Perot know that he had her vote in November when it came time elect the next president of the United States.

“Hi Ross, it’s Cher,” said the diva to the politician on King’s chat show.

I would be willing to give up everything I’m doing and come and be one of the volunteers as long as I know that if I got into it, you wouldn’t quit. If something doesn’t happen, then I can’t imagine what’s going to happen to the rest of my children’s future. . . . Whether you like it or not, you are the focus. It’s like you are the father of this patriot movement. Whether you like it or not, you have to be there (186).