Cherished (Wanted) (34 page)

“Oh my god. How could someone have so much hate in his heart?” I asked.

“I don’t know, but I let his hate guide my life. I can’t do anything about it now, but the last few years, I’ve been trying to think of a way to tell your mother and you kids how sorry I am. I never had children with Angie. The idea of having kids with her turned my stomach, so I ended up having a vasectomy right after I left your mother.”

My mouth dropped open, and at first, I couldn’t speak. “So, you spent all those years with a woman you didn’t love, away from the love of your life and your kids…to please your father?”

His eyes looked so sad, and my heart actually began to hurt for him. I no longer felt anger toward him…only sadness.

“Yes,” he barely said.

My mother stood up and walked over to us. She held out her hand, and my father took it as he slowly stood. They walked back over to the sofa and sat down together.

My mom took a deep breath. “When your father contacted me a few months back, I wasn’t sure how to feel. When he told me how he felt…I won’t lie…a part of me wanted nothing more than to fall into his arms and pick up where we’d left off all those years ago.” She looked at him and smiled, and then she looked back at Jefferson and me. “But I love Philip with all my heart, and your father and I have talked about this. He certainly didn’t expect me to just fall back into his arms.”

“I wished it though,” he said with a weak smile.

I couldn’t help but smile at their easy banter with each other, and I looked at Jefferson, who was also smiling.

“We talked about him coming and talking to you kids—when we both thought it was time.” She quickly glanced at him and then back at us.

My father cleared his throat and nodded his head. “I wanted to see you both…to tell you how sorry I am for what I did…for leaving you and causing your mother to fall into such a deep depression. I don’t expect your forgiveness, but I certainly would love it,” he said with a small smile. “I want you each to know that the days you were born were the happiest days of my life. And to see how you’ve each turned out to be such caring, loving, and successful…” He stopped talking as his voice cracked. “I’m so very proud of each of you. So very proud.” He smiled at Jefferson and then me. “Your mother and I decided to wait until after the New Year, but I don’t think I have…I don’t…I…” His voice trailed off as he looked down at the floor.

My mother grabbed his hand and held on to it as she wiped a tear away with her free hand. “Jeff, Ellie…your father has stage two lung cancer. It has spread to his lymph nodes. He has had surgery, and he is about to start a combined chemotherapy and radiation treatment. The doctors are very optimistic though.”

I put my hand up to my mouth. Just when I thought I was getting my father back, it felt like he was leaving again. I slowly shook my head. “No…you just came back to us.”

My father’s eyes captured mine, and I felt like I was looking into my own soul.

“Pumpkin eater…” he whispered.

I stood up as he did the same, and I walked into his arms. I began crying, and then Jeff took us both into his embrace.

“I love you both so much. Please know that I’ve always loved you both,” our father said in between sobs.

“Daddy…you just came back to us. Please don’t leave us again,” I said.

Jeff hugged us both harder.

I wasn’t sure how long we stood there…wrapped up in our embrace. My heart was slowly feeling whole, but at the same time, it was breaking in two.

As we all sat back down, our father began telling us how he used to come to our school events and how he almost approached us each time.

“Did you see any of my games at UT, Dad?” Jefferson asked with a cracked voice.

My father smiled so big that I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Hell yes, I did. You were an amazing football player.
That
you did get from your old man,” he said with a wink.

I heard Ari clear her throat behind us, and we all turned and looked at her. She was holding Grace while Alex and Luke were holding hands as they stood next to her. I got up and walked over. I took both their hands and led them to my father.

I sat down on the floor and looked at Alex and Luke. “Alex, Luke…this is my daddy, your grandfather.”

Jefferson sat on the floor and pulled Luke onto his lap. Luke immediately started laughing.

Jefferson glanced up at our dad and asked, “What would you like them to call you, Dad?”

My father quickly wiped away the tear from his cheek. He looked at my mom before turning back to Jefferson. “Grandpa would be a dream come true.”

Jefferson smiled and said to Luke, “Can you go say hi to your grandpa? He’s my daddy.”

Luke turned to Jefferson. “Daddy’s daddy?”

Everyone laughed.

Jefferson said, “Yeah, buddy, my daddy.”

Luke jumped up and went right up to my father. “Bandpa.”

My father smiled and reached out his arms, and Luke fell right into them.

“Bandpa, it is,” he whispered.

Alex giggled and yelled out, “Bandpa!”

He took them both in his arms, and before I knew it, they were all over both my mother and father. I sat there and watched the whole thing play out as tears slid down my face. I felt Jefferson reach over and wipe them off my face. I looked over at him, and we both smiled.

“I love you, Ells,” he said.

I threw myself into his arms. I tried so hard not to choke up on my words. I managed to whisper in his ear, “I love you, too, Jefferson. I love you, too.”

I stumbled out of my bedroom and followed the heavenly smells of coffee and breakfast.
Azurdee must be cooking.

I walked into the kitchen and saw Azurdee at the stove, Jessie sitting at the table, and Lark sitting across from her. I glanced at Jessie, and her smile instantly made my head feel better. One look at Lark, and I felt like shit again. He gave me that smile and looked down at his coffee.

“Motherfucker,” I whispered.

Jessie and Azurdee giggled as I barely walked over to the coffee pot and poured a cup of coffee. I turned and sat down next to Jessie, but not before I leaned down and gave her a kiss.

“I swear I didn’t have that much to drink last night, but I feel like total shit.” I took a quick look at Lark.

He shrugged his shoulders. “Dude, you weren’t even drunk. You just took two shots, and I think if I remember right, you can’t handle shots—at all.”

I took a drink of my coffee and then nodded my head. The last time I’d felt this bad was the morning I’d woken up to find Jessie had left. I thought back to that party.
Did I have any shots? Yep. Jeff and I did a few shots—a few as in, like, ten of them.

“I think I’m going to give up drinking for a while.” I winked at Jessie.

We had all gone out last night since Azurdee and Lark were both leaving today.

Between Gunner’s New Year’s Eve party and then last night…I am done with alcohol. Done.

“It’s not like college anymore, old man. Your impending fatherhood has made you a lightweight,” Lark said as he let out laugh.

“Fuck you, Lark,” I said.

Azurdee began setting plates in front of us. I looked down at the plate, and I almost didn’t want to touch it. There were two crepes filled with cinnamon apples on the plate. The top of the crepes had a scoop of vanilla yogurt with a strawberry and a mint leaf. Dulce de leche sauce was drizzled all over it. It looked heavenly.

Lark looked up at me as I peeked over at him. We both turned and watched as Azurdee sat down and started eating.

She glanced up and stopped. “What? What’s wrong? Do you not like crepes?” she asked.

I looked at Jessie, and she was digging in.

“Oh…oh my god! Oh, Azurdee. These are so good. My god, I’ve missed your cooking. How I didn’t gain a ton of weight in college is beyond me. Hmm…oh…yes…”

“My god, Jessie. Make love to the damn thing, why don’t you?” I said.

Jessie snapped her head up and looked at me. “I’ve been craving these so much. They. Are. Heaven.”

Lark laughed, and then he took a bite. “Holy shit. These are delicious.”

Azurdee smiled and started eating again.

The moment I took a bite, I wanted to say how good they were, but I held back. Instead, I simply said, “Azurdee, these are the best crepes I’ve ever had.”

“Thank you. I make them for the coffee shop all the time. If we run out, our regulars get so mad,” she said with a giggle.

I peeked over and saw Lark staring at Azurdee. He could deny it all he wanted, but he liked her. Last night, he’d done everything in his power not to dance with her until he’d broken down and finally asked her to dance. The moment Keith Urban’s “We Were Us” had come on, they had both taken off dancing. I hadn’t seen Lark smile and laugh like that in a long time. The song had ended, and then they’d danced to “Don’t Let Me Be Lonely” by The Band Perry. Jessie had mentioned how sad Lark had looked. I’d been sure he had been thinking of Nikki.

“So, are you sure you need to leave today? You were planning on staying till the third,” I said before taking another bite.

Lark was snapped out of his trance and went back to eating.

Azurdee rolled her eyes. “Ugh, as much as I have loved being here, I have to get back. I left my mother in charge of the coffee shop, and if I didn’t lose any employees, it will be a miracle. I do wish I could stay longer though. I’ve really enjoyed myself,” she said with a smile as she looked over at Lark.

He was concentrating on clearing off his plate.

“Lark, you sure you have to leave?” I asked.

He looked up at me and smiled. “Dude, this was the longest Skip has let me off in a long time. I need to get back to work.” He stood up and looked around the table. “Speaking of, I probably need to get ready to leave soon.”

I quickly looked at Azurdee. Her whole body sagged in her seat, and she tried to smile, but it looked forced and weak. I stood up with my plate, grabbed Lark’s and Azurdee’s, and then I reached for Jessie’s. I practically had to pull the plate out of Jessie’s hands. I was ready for her to start licking it.

“Hey, I thought you were going to go look at that filly I bought. Didn’t you say you were interested in her?” I asked, knowing Lark really wanted that filly.

I also knew Azurdee loved going to the stable. She loved the horses.

“Shit. Yeah, I do want to take a look at her.” Lark ran his hand through his hair.

“Well, let’s go take a peek at her. Azurdee, would you like to go with us? I know how much you love the horses.”

She jumped up and clapped her hands. “Yes! I’d love to.”

Jessie laughed. “Y’all go ahead. I’m going to stay here and clean up.”

Azurdee’s smile faded. “No, Jessie, I cooked. I will stay and clean it up.”

“Nonsense, Azurdee. Go see the horses. You cook, I clean, remember?” Jessie said with a wink.

Azurdee smiled and nodded her head.

After we left the house and made our way to the ranch Jeep, Lark jumped in the back to let Azurdee sit up in the passenger seat. We were at the stable five minutes later. Azurdee jumped out of the Jeep before I even came to a stop. When she began skipping up to the stable, I smiled and looked over at Lark.

“She likes horses, I take it,” he said with a laugh and a shake of his head.

I chuckled. “Yeah, she loves them. She grew up in the city and has always dreamed of having a ranch or marrying a rancher.”

Lark’s smile faded for a brief second before it returned again. “Well, with the way that girl cooks, she’s gonna make some rancher one happy and fat guy.”

I laughed and nodded my head.

We got out of the Jeep and headed into the stable. As Lark and I talked about the filly, he kept looking at Azurdee. She was moving from horse to horse—talking to them, scratching them, and hugging them.

He looked back at me and said, “What did you say?”

I threw my head back and laughed. “Distracted?”

He rolled his eyes. “Fuck. I can’t hear you with her going on and on about the horses.” He turned and glared at Azurdee.

She just stopped and looked at Lark.

“Jesus Christ, they are just horses. Do you have to make such a production over them?” Lark snapped at Azurdee.

I watched as she slowly smiled a weak smile.

She said, “I’m sorry. I guess I just get excited when it comes to the horses. I’ll wait in the Jeep for y’all.”

She began walking out, and I just stared at Lark. He closed his eyes and threw his head back as he let out a breath of air.

“Azurdee, wait, I didn’t mean to snap at you like that. It’s just that I can’t hear what Scott is saying with you going on and on,” Lark said.

Azurdee walked right past him. “No worries.” She made her way out of the stable.

I narrowed my eyes and looked at my best friend. “You’re a complete fucking asshole, do you know that?” I said.

He looked at me with a surprised expression on his face. “Why? ’Cause I asked her to calm the hell down?”

I shook my head. “She likes you, dickhead. I guess you haven’t been able to figure that out the last few days. She’s a sweet girl, and you just acted like a total douche toward her.”

Lark looked over my shoulder at the filly and then back to where Azurdee had just walked out of the stable. “Well…I don’t like her, and I’m not interested in any kind of a relationship.” He walked over and began running his hand along the filly. “I’ll take her. Can you arrange to have her delivered to my place?”