Cherishing You (Thirsty Hearts Book 3) (25 page)

“Maybe you are looking out for yourself by not giving yourself one more thing to handle.”

“Do you think I shouldn’t go to the police?”

“I can’t make that determination for you. I can tell that what he did was a crime, and that he deserves punishment. But you don’t have to be the agent for that if you choose not to be.”

“But what if he does this to someone else?”

“That’s something you can consider. Whatever you do, do it from a position of knowing what you’re worth and knowing what you want. Choose what you need according to your priorities.”

Shannon’s mind switched back and forth but always stopped on the same thing. “I can’t deal with filing a police report right now. The questions and their interviews. I know if I wait it’s only going to be less believable, but I have to live with that. Maybe after this paternity stuff is worked out.”

“Are you and Jonah on speaking terms?”

“Not really. He’s pissed at me, but I’m pissed at him. He didn’t listen. He didn’t believe me when I said I didn’t get high on purpose.”

“Would that make a difference in your mind? If you got high on purpose versus what happened?”

“It doesn’t. That’s why I’m mad. As soon as I started to explain, Jonah wanted to believe the worst about me. That feeling was just under the surface.” Shannon floated her hand across her line of vision.

“You and he were in a heightened situation right after your ex was killed. Maybe you’ve both said some things you regret.”

“Well, he hasn’t apologized. That’s what hurts. He knows that I wasn’t sober when Aaron slept with me, and he still didn’t support me.”

“Have you told him that?”

“No.”

“Consider it. Think about what you would say to him. If the baby is his, you’re going to have to work this out, and even if it isn’t, you love him. It sounds like he cared for you. Maybe you shouldn’t let that go until you’ve told him—in a calmer state of mind—what happened and how it impacted you.”

“What if he still doesn’t believe me?” Shannon’s fears manifested in the question, and her eyes welled.

“What if he doesn’t?” Dr. Baker asked the question easily with a shrug.

“I can’t bear to have him look at me again like he did—especially after I explain the whole story. If Jonah told me that I was asking for it, I couldn’t take it.” She squeezed her eyes shut, spilling tears down her cheeks.

“Whether he believes you or not, you know the truth, and if after you tell him what happened, he can’t see it, then you know who he is, and you have to ask yourself if that’s good enough for you. Look at it like a woman who knows what she’s worth. No one else’s opinion or actions can take that from you.”

The room stilled around Shannon, and a calm settled her within. If he didn’t believe her, she could let him go for good.

J
onah vowed
to avoid thinking about his drama for at least one night and ring in the New Year with cocktail-fueled partying into the early morning.

Unable to withstand Graham’s prodding about Shannon, he spilled the story to his friend and swore him to absolute secrecy.

“You can never, ever tell anyone what I just told you. The only reason I’m saying anything is that I have no one to talk this over with except my sister. She’s not on my side.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. Some kind of sisterhood thing.”

“But she’s your sister.”

“You know what I mean.”

“But why let Shannon keep working for her? That’s above and beyond.”

“She feels some weird kinship with her. I don’t know. When Shannon and I were dating, I was grateful. My parents haven’t been thrilled about our relationship. Now, it’s annoying.”

“Tell her.”

“I did. She made a good point. Shannon’s not going to be able to wait tables throughout her pregnancy. She’s going to need income.”

“That’s not your problem. She’s an adult.”

“I can’t just…leave her on her own.”

“Or you can’t just leave her alone. You’re still in love with her, and I think that’s a terrible idea. Once a person shows you who they are, you have to believe them.”

“Where’d you get that gem?”

“Oprah, or someone on Oprah. It sounds like something Oprah would say.”

Jonah cackled. “When did you watch Oprah?”

“Back in the day. She had some quality programming, and it helped me learn about women.”

“You are not an expert on women.” Jonah bent sideways, laughing.

Graham took Jonah’s jeers in stride. “Maybe not, but I do know that a woman with Shannon’s background doesn’t turn things around overnight. How long ago was she in rehab?”

“She got out about a year ago.”

“If she’s with you but hooking up with someone else, she still has major issues and at least another year of bad decisions in her. Cut your losses. Move on. If the baby is yours, be a good dad, but that’s your only obligation to her.”

Everything his friend told him made sense. He wasn’t responsible for Shannon—as she herself told him on many occasions. No matter how reasonable it sounded, however, Jonah couldn’t accept it.

“Things don’t feel finished. I don’t know why. You’re right. It should be over.”

“And it’s not because you’re in love with her.”

“Doesn’t that matter?”

“No. People fall in love with people who are bad for them every day. Love conquering all is a lie.”

“I don’t believe that.”

“Then let it conquer all and be done. Take her back and quit bitching.”

That thought rankled but, for whatever reason, went down easier.

“Am I that big a fool?” Jonah answered his own question. “I don’t think so.”

“I don’t think you’re a fool, and I’m being glib on purpose. Going back and forth like this is insane. The rational thing to do is to get over her, but love is not rational. If you’re waiting for the idea of taking a chance on her to make sense, you’ll die a lonely man. Now eat your food. We have a party to attend.”

After dinner, he and Graham sauntered into Jesse Hampton’s posh New Year’s Eve bash in his spectacular loft apartment south of downtown. With the clear, cold night, they had views of the illuminated buildings all the way to the Trinity River and, inside, views of gorgeous people up for a good time.

The DJ struck up thumping electronic music matched to flashing kobo lights with “Happy New Year” dancing all over the room.

Graham shouted above the din. “Jesse must have had to invite all the neighbors to keep them from calling the cops.”

Jonah observed the swaying throng of party goers a few steps below the entry.

“It looks and sounds like an Abercrombie and Fitch.”

Graham laughed. “It kind of does.”

“That’s not a good thing.”

“Yes, it is. You need to start the New Year with a bang—and by that I mean, get laid. Nothing drives out the memory of an old woman like a new woman.”

“That’s cold.”

“That is the precise advice you gave me when I broke things off with Melanie.”

“That was stupid advice.”

“No, it wasn’t. You need to remind yourself that Shannon isn’t the only woman in the world. You’re a rich, good-looking, single, heterosexual man. You are a real-life unicorn for most of these women—a mythical creature in the flesh. No. That’s too girly. You’re a dragon. Go get a lady out of a tower.”

Graham slapped Jonah on the back, pushing him forward into a crush of people. At least a dozen women gyrated in front of him—some of them covered in party glitter, most of them in miniscule cocktail dresses, and all of them eyeing Jonah.

Six months ago, the buffet of hot women would have made him salivate. Now, he had no appetite for it.

“None of them appeal to me in the least. It’s meaningless,” Jonah declared sourly.

“Don’t tell me Shannon has turned you gay. Wouldn’t your parents love that?”

“Ha, ha, Graham.”

Jonah perused the crowd again, this time locking on a familiar face.

Emily swayed on the corner of the makeshift dance floor with a crowd of her friends. She wore a strapless jumpsuit in leather. Jonah couldn’t remember ever seeing the demure elementary school teacher in anything that hot.

He always thought of Emily as sweet—if boring—and that’s what he wanted right now. She noticed him and waved. Nothing about her seemed sweet tonight—maybe a good thing.

Jonah downed his cocktail and threw the cup in the trash a few feet away. He pointed in Emily’s direction and, they navigated toward her through the crowd.

Right as he reached her, the music blasted the beginning of a new song. Jonah had to lean into her ear to talk. “It’s good to see you. It’s been a while.”

“It has. Happy New Year.”

“Happy New Year. You remember Graham?”

Emily said hello to his friend jammed beside him, but didn’t take her eyes off of Jonah. She smelled like jasmine—a scent he loved. Someone whooped and careened into him, sending him bumping into Emily. She teetered and giggled, and Jonah saw the sheen in her eyes.

“Where’s your girlfriend?” She breathed into the side of his neck and stroked his shoulder.

“She’s not here.”

“On New Year’s?”

Shit. He couldn’t explain what he felt about Shannon to himself, let alone Emily.

“We’re taking a break right now.”

That news sent Emily’s hand from his shoulder to his neck, and she pressed closer to him, laughing.

“I knew I could just wait it out.” Her fingers wound up the back of his head, tipping it closer to her.

“Just because I’m not here with Shannon right now doesn’t mean that I’m hooking up with you.”

“Really? You made a beeline for me as soon as you saw me.”

“I made a beeline for someone I knew. I thought we could catch up and have an awkward conversation about the weather.”

“Dollll-ars to donuts, it’s more than that. That’s why I came here tonight. Confession…Your mother told me you’d be here.”

His father must have mentioned something to his mother.

“That’s presumptuous,” Jonah replied, losing his humor. “Exactly how often do you speak with my mother? Or did she call your hotline with news about my life?”

Emily rolled her glazed eyes. “We talk every couple of weeks. Maybe more. We’re still friends. That’s allowed.”

“It’s odd, and it’s doubly strange for you to discuss my love life with my mother, whether it involves you or not.”

“She just said you two called it quits and that this girl did a number on you. She’s an idiot for that, by the way. She should have known how good she had it, but I guess that’s a pattern with her. I’ve heard her story from her ex-husband. She left her little girl. Just left. What kind of woman is that?”

Emily must be well into her drink, which surprised Jonah. She never drank much. Or maybe that was the problem. She wasn’t normally one to run her mouth or be catty. It didn’t suit her.

“You don’t know anything about Shannon or her life. Whatever Jeff told you, I’m sure he told you in confidence as his daughter’s teacher.”

Emily’s lolling eye roll scared Jonah for a second. He thought she might pass out. Her head dropped forward, eyes on him again.

“I know that it’s New Year’s Eve, and you’re here with your wingman—not her. And now you’re with me. You wandered into the weeds, but I knew you’d find your way back to…flowers and a proper lawn.” Unable to complete her metaphor with finesse, she spread her hands wide as if indicating a pastoral expanse.

Graham overheard Emily’s diatribe and piped in. “Excuse me? In what universe am I his wingman? That might be the most insulting thing you’ve said.”

“No. Calling Shannon a weed and assuming that I’m some predictable simpleton are worse. You just think everything is about you.”

Graham shrugged. “Whatever.”

“I only meant that I can’t believe you could be serious about someone like her. Your mother told me the same thing, and she’d know you. She’s your mother.”

“I think you’re better off dating my mother. She always adored you, and you seem hot to study under her tutelage.”

Jonah narrowed his eyes at her and stepped back. She hung onto his cuffs.

“Wait. I’m sorry. Maybe I’ve had one too many drinks. I want to talk. Let’s go somewhere else.”

Emily dropped her head back and look up at him, welcoming with her wide eyes and parted lips.

“I’m not taking you home with me.”

“So, take me somewhere else.”

Jonah pulled her hands from his body, more depressed than angry. He and his sour demeanor should have stayed home. The champagne was better, and the atmosphere less headache inducing.

Graham quit chatting with one of Emily’s friends and punched Jonah’s shoulder.

“This one’s putting you in a bad mood.” He pointed at Emily. “We’re saying goodbye. Goodbye, Emily.”

She pouted and sputtered something that Jonah couldn’t hear more than three feet away from her. Graham tipped his head and hand to her and dragged Jonah to the other side of the room.

“No looking back. Look forward. We’ll find you someone else.”

“I’m not hooking up with some random woman.”

“Why not?”

“Because my girlfriend is pregnant. It’s too weird.”

“It would be if she were your girlfriend. But she’s not. She’s a woman who cheated on you with some scumbag, right? Am I crazy or is that not the story you told me? Doing what’s right doesn’t mean you live like a monk. I’m not saying find the love of your life tonight and marry her. I’m saying, pick one and fuck one.”

My one’s not here. Jonah knew better than to say it out loud.

“I’m glad you got me out of the house tonight, Graham, but I’m heading home.”

“We still have over an hour until midnight. Stay. You don’t have to fuck anybody. Get a New Year’s kiss and then leave.”

“Nope. I’m relieving you of your wingman duties.”

“That is so wrong.” Graham’s white smile glowed under a nearby black light. “You want me to come with you? We can have beers at your place and watch one of those shitty specials on TV.”

“I want you to stay and have fun. I’ll catch a taxi or Uber home.”

Graham took him by the shoulder and gave him a man hug. Jonah bobbed and weaved his way out the door, then ordered a ride home.

A kick of wind braced him, and he inhaled the chill. Forget Emily and all those others. The rumblings of parties thankfully in the distance, he cleared his head in the relative quiet of the empty street, and that clarity gave him purpose.

N
ew Year’s Day
dawned crisp and sunny. Shannon woke up early at the hotel, grabbed some breakfast from the buffet, and drove to pick up Olivia for weekend visitation.

“Sorry, she’s not quite ready yet. She’s still getting dressed,” Jeff explained, closing the door behind Shannon as she crossed the threshold of his house. His sandy hair spiked in different directions, and he seemed flustered. “You mind waiting in the kitchen? Taryn’s in there making black-eyed peas for New Year’s.”

“Is it ready yet? I could always use some good luck.”

The Southern tradition of having black-eyed peas and greens on January 1 was supposed to ensure good luck and money. Both sounded good to Shannon.

“Not yet.”

“Shoot. Maybe I’ll get my own today. Liv and I can eat at Black-Eyed Pea or something.”

Jeff laughed. “If it’s okay, I need to head back to my office. I’m in the middle of developing something, and I’m really in the flow.”

“No wonder you’re looking like the absent-minded professor. Go ahead. I’ll be fine.”

He grinned. “Thanks.”

Shannon’s boots clacked on the marble floor, softening when she got to the hardwood of the hall between the kitchen and the living room.

“Hey, Taryn.”

“Good morning.”

“Are you making greens, too?” Shannon inhaled the smell of ham and onions.

Taryn nodded and lifted the lid off a pot on the stove. “I’m cooking collards with a couple of smoked turkey legs and doing the peas with ham hocks. My cousin is coming over.”

“Damn, that sounds good. All you need is cornbread.”

“Also on the menu for lunch.” Taryn pointed to a greased nine by thirteen dish.

“Cooking all day today?”

“Probably. You’d think I’d be done with all the holiday eating by now, but no. Still eating like a pig.”

“How was dinner last night?” Shannon’s breath caught in her throat as she spoke.

Jeff had told her that he was taking Taryn and Olivia out for a five-course dinner at a restaurant for New Year’s Eve. At the time, she figured she would have her own special plans.

“Wonderful. We got home around nine thirty and watched TV with the intent of ringing in the new year with a pregnancy-appropriate toast. That didn’t so much happen. I think Jeff was the only one still awake. Olivia had a good time, though, even if she didn’t make it until midnight. What did you do last night?”

“I stayed in and watched the New Year’s celebrations on TV. It looked cold and crowded and like being warm in my pajamas at home—or at the hotel—was way more fun.”